The mind isn't one entity working. So when I ask people about self-image, I'm now going to split the mind a bit and say, what is the self-image that you feel you would like to have and that you are aiming to present to the world? And what's the genetic self-image that your mind is giving you and the mind interpreting? Hence, I started saying you have this circuitry which is rational, logical looking effects and you have a circuitry which is emotionally based.
It's not logical emotion, it's logically based with emotion and it's emotion based with logic. And we don't control that. So if I try to listen to that one again, what I'm saying is we have control over the circuit which I call the human circuits and your self-image then might be then I'm a compassionate guy, a trustworthy person that I always give 100%. This is what your self-image could be when I discuss with you and your circuits are responding.
However, if you've moved the blood supply and oxygen uptake into what I'm calling the chimp circuits, circuits which are quite primitive but think, you don't have any control over that. So they will generate thinking and the chimp circuits may give a very different answer because they're much more likely to be emotionally and say how you feel about yourself rather than reality. So the feeling could be the reality but it's likely not to be. So we get two images from two different circuits.
In the world we live especially in the social media world, it feels like our drives and our values are somewhat sometimes handed to us and we don't even know that something isn't our true sort of intrinsic driver or values but because of a desire to be to fit in or to gain approval from people, we take it up as a value of our own or we say if we're asked that's something that drives us but it's not. So we might say we want to be we want to be a Lamborghini or we want to be a public speaker or whatever but really probably underpinning that is our desire to be to get recognition and to be loved today. But how do you go about understanding what your true drivers are in life and not the things that you say just. Yeah, this is where when I look to this as I say a long time back, you start to see that if you ask people which is why do to put away everything and just get a blank piece of paper, that's my starting point is always right down the perfect person you want to be because this now excludes any of the drives and a lot of what you're talking about is actually behaviors attached to drive.
They're not true drives, drives are things like the need to eat, the need to have security. These are drives, the need to be apparent and we have these compulsive driving forces within us that get us out of our seat and make us find something but whereas getting approval from people is actually based in the orbit of front of the cortex, the chimp again, where it's terrified of being excluded from the troops so a chimpanzee in the wild must be part of the troop, otherwise the leopards waiting. So lots of eyes protect you. So the chimpanzee has an inbuilt need to be with other chimps and in order to do that it must prove to the other chimps that it's worthy because if it isn't they could exclude it which would be death.
So we carry that drive still but we need to be approved. The problem is the chimpanzee's got it right, we've got it wrong, the chimps they recognize it and it only wants to approve from its immediate troop whereas we actually try and get approval from the whole world. So one person on social media tells the world that they're not like us and we can potentially fall apart instead of saying actually they're not in my troops, it's not important. So tell me through that process then, so I get a blank piece of paper, I write down who I want to be.
I'd say things like I want to be and correct me where I'm not wrong here, okay? Okay, because I would tell you. I won't be wrong. But if I say I want to achieve great things, is that a drive?
No, that's not a drive, that's something you hope for. Yeah, okay. So we get the terminology right because if you hope for that but except it may not happen, that you're now working with the human circuit which is logical and rational. So we hope to get like I work with the leopards athletes which is privileged and they hope to get set in Olympic medal and they hope for that, they accept, I mean, I'll get this, even if you're on form on the day, some of you may be better or you may make an error.
So as long as you have that, then it shouldn't be stressing you. Okay. It will be okay. But if you move into saying I have to get an Olympic medal, we're now moving into the chimp circuits.
Yeah, because that's not true. Yeah, you don't have to. You know, but if somebody absolutely says to me, you don't get it, if I don't get the knife's not worth living, I'm not gonna argue what I'm saying is that's the choice you're making and you must also accept the consequence. So I can't put, I can't change that.
So when you start your list, what I'm really asking for is what are your character traits? So discipline. Yeah, I mean, again, I would test the world. I don't know what you're gonna say here on the spotlight.
I'll just do a quick one for you. So do you, would you like to be a really nice, good person? Or would you like to be successful? You can then be one of them.
Which would you prefer? A really nice, good person. Right. So I know where I stand with you now.
So we have to know, make sure that you understand that's the prime reason that we're gonna do the work, is to get you to be the person that you want to be. This is the good news. If you write on a piece of paper, the perfect person you want to be. So give me some more character traits.
Traits. All the things that come to mind to be impact will have on those that can to me. So, right. So you want to be inspirational?
Yeah, I guess that is, but also just like empathetic and compassionate. Okay, brilliant. You want to be an empathic guy, a compassionate guy, inspirational. You're probably gonna add, if we go through this in a time, honesty, integrity, just worthy, you know, respectful.
When you've done all this, this is really crucial. And it is like, bold moments. If you think about this, that if you had control of that part of your brain, which you have, and there was no interference from the rest of the brain, then that's exactly how you would be in life. True.
That is you. So what I'm saying is the reality is fantastic. That is you. It's not what you thought to be.
It is you. It's not a myth. It's a neurosciences you. What we're now saying is that doesn't present to the world because now your chimp and the computer system, the backup to both human and chimp, now impose other things.
And so the world might see something different. So you say to me, I want to be compassionate. And I walk in and say, I've had a really long journey today. I went wrong.
You're busy and you just get irritated and say, I've got to say it's that morning. And then after you think, man, that wasn't very compassionate. So I'm not compassionate. But that's misunderstanding the neurosciences.
You were always compassionate because your intention was always to say, sorry to say that you've had a rough journey. You know, because obviously importantly, I was I wouldn't be telling you. I mean, you still might want to say stop morning after a while, but it's done nicely. But what happened is your chimp is saying, I don't need to deal with this.
It's doing my head in. So I'll just have a go. And that'll stop him. And there you see this immediate reaction without sort of consequence.
So then I were poor fails a bit because I think, ooh, not nice guy this. But actually, when I understand the science, I think he's probably a nice guy. His chimp wasn't very good there. That's very different to you going away at the end of the day thinking, what's wrong with me?
Why was I lacking in compassion? The answer was get the neurosciences right. You've never moved position. You're always a compassionate guy who's trustworthy and honest and so on.
Your chimp is interfered. Now, it's very critical. I expand on two points here because the listeners are going to go up. Hang on.
If this is not an excuse model, 100% I'm tough on people. It's not an excuse model. You're 100% responsible for managing the chimp. So you need an apology.
So when you know the chimp's being a bit brisical road, you've got to stop and say, I apologize. You are responsible. So I'm not saying blame everything on your chimp. I'm not saying that.
And the second point is you gave me an answer there by saying I want to be this compassionate guy. And people say, surely everyone writes the same list. Absolutely not. In the 90s, when I started to really pull this together and was looking at the new science, clearly, probably now worked in the field of forensics.
And if you take a typical person, so we'll take you as a typical person, and we say, what would you give? You give me the right list. Peaceful, calm. You'll go through integrity, honesty, compassion.
That is really common on the list. However, when you get to psychopaths, they wouldn't put these. And when I asked them, they did not put honesty. They did not put compassion.
They were not relevant. They had a very different list of who they would ideally like to be. And it wasn't pleasant. It was all about power.
It was all about ego. These are what I'm critical. This is what I'm going to be. So actually, the human in that person is not the good guy.
I used to say, it's often the chimp in them that's the nice guy. They actually humans are not so nice at all. So it isn't the good guy, bad guy. That is not at all what the model is.
It's saying we all have these systems. Let's find out who we are, what kind of chimp we got, because they're spread and characteristic. And then what have we got on our computer?