The thing I think about most especially when I'm on the go but also when I'm sat here in the dire of a CEO studio is the Wi-Fi and internet that we have to work with. In fact anytime I'm filming away from the studio one of the first things I do is when I arrive I open up and do a speed test to see how strong the signal is and the number of screenshots I've said to my team about Wi-Fi signals at different occasions is actually pretty crazy it matters that much to me because it's such a competitive advantage to have fast Wi-Fi because on any given day if I'm recording let's see hours and hours of footage with a podcast guest I then often have to have my team send that across to our London team who then do the edit. So fast Wi-Fi internet is not nice to have it is absolutely business mission critical. So when it came to finding the best provider who can supply internet Wi-Fi to our new LA studio which I'm saying right now we look to every single option and of all the providers the one that came back with this day's connection as well as being the cheapest was today's sponsor Spectrum Business.
Spectrum Business keeps businesses of all sizes connected with fast reliable internet advanced Wi-Fi phone TV and mobile services. Millions of business owners already rely on Spectrum to keep their operations connected. So if you want to join them head to spectrum.com slash business to learn more. That's spectrum.com slash business.
Restrictions apply. Services not available in all areas. You talked about relationships at the start of the podcast. You said you had much luck there when we were talking about knowing you're enough.
Yeah. What's going on? Yeah this is a real problem. So there's a few like narratives that I've bought into subconsciously.
One of those narratives is that I am like a weedy nerd kid. This is the kid that I was when I was 12 years old and getting slightly built in school and getting grades and stuff. But like not really have anything not being valuable as a human being beyond the fact that I was generating HRs in exams. That's the one side of it.
There's another side. What's the other side? The other side is if we're keeping it real. It's like I think it's around masculinity and what it means to be a man.
And if one was to hypothetically read wiki how articles and how to get girls or even the vast literature on the topic there is a big thing of women are attracted to men. Like you know someone who is a man someone who leads someone who's like alpha those sorts of those sorts of things. And I think my kind of default way of being is very not that. And like my idea of fun is singing Disney songs and playing board games until took off in the morning with a pizza takeaway.
Rather than something that a more like a macho alpha type person would be. And so on the one hand there's that thing of just be yourself. Of the authentic self etc etc and I'll go like that for who you are. And on the other side is the thing of you will objectively get more success with women in inverted commas if you sort of are more of that alpha type personality.
Here's the problem here. On that particular point before we move on because I'd love to hear what you're going to say. But it sounded like you were saying do I be myself in downtown listening to Disney even though it might return a lower quantity of smoking hearts potential partners. Or the alternative to that is do I be a masculine guy and act outside yourself to generate more smoking hot partners.
The issue you have is you've got to zoom out and you've got to think about the outcome of both approaches and how sustainable both approaches are. All you can be is yourself for a long period of time. And if you want long term results that's the only option you have. Of course you can act as something you're not and pretend you don't like Disney and not listen to play board games and stuff.
And you might meet the wrong person for a short amount of time. Because it will be a short amount of time because that relationship will capitulate the minute they find out who you actually are. And this is you know yeah this is this is always for me the answer is you have to be yourself you have no choice in that. You do have a choice in being able to kill some of those confidence issues which might be self-sabotaging at key points in the relationship where it turns into insecurity and results in jealousy.
And if you're coming into why the fuck is this person with me the chance of you exhibiting jealous behavior and controlling behavior and manipulative behavior and insecure behavior and where are you why haven't you here why haven't you checked me that fast enough is high. And for me that will put undue pressure on something that might work otherwise. So go ahead and work on the confidence issues but never ever dare change who you are. Like the things you intrinsic do not change those.
Do not try and act outside of those because that is that will lead to really short-term results. And you don't actually want to be with anyone for 50 years that doesn't want to dance and listen to Disney movies with you. You don't actually want society telling you about smoking hot but you don't actually want that. You won't return joy on that.
You'll return status from walking in with a smoking model that has a brain but you won't return joy in the long term. And that is the goal. That's an all-star. Does that make sense?
It does. Yeah. On the note of being yourself. The thing that I feel a contradiction is that on the one side there's kind of be yourself and on the other side there's like choose yourself.
And what I worry about is what if this person who I am i.e. the kind of nice guy who enjoys Disney and board games and stuff. That's a result of accidental experiences that I haven't really chosen for myself. And should I instead be thinking okay who's the sort of person I want to be?
Although having said that I don't want to be anyone who doesn't sing along to Disney songs. And you sing along to Disney songs not because you're now being forced because you enjoy it. Yeah. So that's part of the answer to a lot of the things we've discussed before which is going in the direction of things that make you feel good.
Don't suppress things that make you feel good because then you'll feel shit. So if that makes you feel good that is as far as I'm concerned you've explored and exploited as you say and you've found something you enjoy it. And don't sacrifice that for what? For a pretty woman to be stood next to you.
That's not that trust me will not be enjoyment. That'll be status. That'll be extrinsic approval which is very different from internal fulfillment. So I would never disregard those things.
However you can as I've done over the last year and a half say do you know what? When I look at my values and who I actually want to be internally my health this is what I've done is so foundational to everything. I really managed to almost like hypnotize myself somehow into knowing that me being in good shape and me being someone that goes to you every day and prioritizes that my health is my first foundation is in line with my happiness. The change in my life the thing that's put me in the best shape of my life ever was before as I said in this podcast me working out was all about women.
The minute it became not about women it's stuck because because yeah for so many reasons. I mean I enjoyed the process and I removed wanting six back and I basically don't have any gym goals now whatsoever. My goal is to go every day. It's stuck.
It became intrinsic. It was for me. And now I go every single day and the minute we finish this conversation my PT's waiting for me and I went yesterday the day before I go to the day tomorrow every day. I don't care.
I'm not doing it for anyone else. It's a six. Interesting. That's why your relationship will fail if you're with a person that you're with for some reasons.
Okay. Yeah, let's make a lot of sense. The thing I think about most especially when I'm on the go but also when I'm sat here in the bar of the studio is the Wi-Fi and internet that we have to work with. In fact anytime I'm filming away from the studio one of the first things I do is when I arrive I open up and do a speed test to see how strong the signal is.
And the number of screenshots I've sent to my team about Wi-Fi signals at different locations is actually pretty crazy. It matters that much to me because it's such a competitive advantage to have fast Wi-Fi because on any given day if I'm recording let's say hours and hours of footage with a podcast guest I then often have to have my team send that across to our London team who then do the edit. So fast Wi-Fi internet is not nice to have it is absolutely business mission critical. So when it came to finding the best provider who can supply internet Wi-Fi to our new LA studio which I'm saying right now we looked at every single option.
And of all the providers the one that came back with this day's connection as well as being the cheapest was today's sponsor Spectrum Business. Spectrum Business keeps businesses of all sizes connected with fast reliable internet advanced Wi-Fi phone TV and mobile services. Millions of business owners already rely on Spectrum to keep their operations connected. So if you want to join them head to spectrum.com slash business to learn more.
That's spectrum.com slash business. Restrictions apply. Service not available in all areas.