Moments #59 - Nobody Told Me What To Actually Look For In A Partner — On Support, Village And The Things That Matter When You Have Kids - Tiffany Scott (Sanya)

When I was dating I was filtering for career ambition and drive above almost everything else. Nobody told me that the game changes completely when you have children.Because it turns out that what actually determines how you show up as a mother — whether you can work, build something, stay fit, stay sane — is not your own ability. It is your capacity. And capacity is shaped mainly by the support around you.For me that support comes in the form of my mother in law. As someone who lost my own mum young, that village is not just helpful. It carries me. And it made me think about everything I was not filtering for when I was dating. His parents. His level of kindness on a bad day. Whether he could hold the children independently and fully. Whether your parenting styles would complement each other over the long run.Nobody tells you to look for that. But maybe they should.In this episode:→ Why it is not ability that determines what mothers can achieve — it is capacity→ What I was filtering for when dating versus what actually matters when you have kids→ The village, the in laws and why their support changes everything→ Why parenting styles that complement each other matter more than shared interestsAnd honestly? I did not plan any of this. I just happened to fall into the right village.