Moms Behaving Badly: Mom, Bully, Stalker (Part 1)

What happens when the person your child turns to for protection is secretly the person hurting her? In this episode of Secret Passage: Moms Behaving Badly: Mom, Bully, Stalker, Dana and Jacky examine the bizarre and deeply disturbing case of Kendra Licari, the Michigan mother who secretly sent anonymous, harassing messages to her teenage daughter Lauryn and Lauryn's then-boyfriend, Owen. For months, the teenagers and their families tried to figure out who was behind the messages. Friends and classmates became suspects. Relationships fractured. Law enforcement became involved. And all the while, Kendra appeared to be another concerned mother trying to help uncover the person tormenting her daughter. Then investigators traced the messages back to Kendra herself. Following the case featured in Netflix's Unknown Number: The High School Catfish, Dana and Jacky go beyond the shocking reveal and ask the question the documentary leaves hanging: Why would a mother do this to her own child? Jacky brings a therapist's perspective to the conversation as they explore attention-seeking behavior, betrayal trauma, attachment, empathy, control, jealousy, possible psychological motivations, and the enormous difference between explaining someone's behavior and excusing it. They also examine some of the most uncomfortable questions surrounding the case: Was Kendra trying to keep Lauryn dependent on her? Why did so much of the harassment revolve around Lauryn's relationship with Owen? Why were some of the messages sexual in nature? What was Kendra's end goal? Was her remorse about what she'd done—or about finally getting caught? And how does a child rebuild her ability to trust when the person who was supposed to be her safest relationship became the source of the danger? Kendra ultimately pleaded guilty to two counts of stalking a minor and was sentenced to 19 months to five years in prison. She was released in August 2024. And perhaps the biggest question: Can a mother and daughter ever truly repair a relationship after a betrayal like this? WANT TO GO FURTHER DOWN THE PASSAGE? Tell us what YOU think about this case. Send this episode to someone you want to debate it with. FOLLOW THE SECRET PASSAGE 📸 Instagram: The Secret Passage Podcast on Instagram 🎵 TikTok: The Secret Passage Podcast on TikTok 🎥 YouTube: The Secret Passage Podcast on YouTube 🔐 JOIN US ON PATREON The conversation doesn't end here... Join The Secret Passage Patreon community for: ✔️ Early access ✔️ Exclusive therapist breakdowns ✔️ Bonus episodes ✔️ Behind-the-scenes content ✔️ Research, books & case resources Join The Secret Passage on Patreon 📩 HAVE A CASE IDEA, QUESTION OR COMMENT? We'd love to hear from you! Email The Secret Passage This episode discusses cyberbullying, emotional abuse, sexualized harassment involving minors, and suicide-related threats. Further Reading & Watching Netflix — Where are Kendra and Lauryn now? Read Netflix Tudum's update on the Licari family TIME — The true story behind Unknown Number Read TIME's account of the Kendra Licari case A&E — The psychology question This article specifically examines the comparison some people have made between Kendra's behavior and "Munchausen by Internet," while exploring the dangers of trying to attach a clinical explanation to behavior without sufficient evidence. Read A&E's psychological exploration of the case People — Did Kendra tell the truth? Director Skye Borgman discusses her lengthy interview with Kendra, Kendra's explanations for her behavior, and why the documentary doesn't necessarily validate Kendra's version of events. Read People's interview about Kendra's account