All right, everybody, it's seven minutes after the hour here on NBC, 1260 and 96.1 FM. It's The Daily Blender. And a good friend, your radio pal, Jeffrey O'Brien, Pam is not with us for a while. She's taking care of some things.
But right now, filling in for her is, do I get to see your last name? If you'd like to, yes. Okay, move that a little bit closer to you so that it makes it easier for you. Okay.
That is Melissa Zartman, the coolest last name on a chick I think I've ever heard. Thank you. Na, na, na, na, na, Zartman. It's Namtaz backwards.
Namtaz. Which one would be better? Whichever one you prefer today is fine. Namtaz, Zartman.
Sounds like an Indian superhero. I like to have my kit right cleaned. Anyway, Morris is in there pushing the buttons, taking your calls at 480-423-1260. And Morris, let me just start out by saying, leave her alone.
Leave her completely alone? Just don't touch her. Don't try not to look at her for too long. Don't make her uncomfortable.
She's filling in and we may need her another day. Well, I mean, but if she's going to do a good job filling in for Pam, then she's got to be able to take one of my varieties. No, really, no, no. I can take it.
You really shouldn't. No, you don't. Don't, don't, don't, don't. Trust me on this one.
Don't encourage me. He's a degenerate pervert and Well, that's a normal thing, right? I mean, for guys it is. Yeah, well, but he's about You know how they grade on a bell curve?
A bell curve. Okay. He's setting the standard for degenerates. Well, I'm happy to know you.
Thank you for raising the bell curve today. Whatever you do, don't go in that room. Okay, I'll stay out. He thinks it's like a Venus flytrap.
He thinks anything that goes in that room, he can touch and make noise. And it's not right. I'll remember that. You stay in there.
She doesn't go in there. That almost sounds like an on-air challenge. Send something in here and see if I can make noise. Well, here's what it is.
It's a warning. I'm warning you and I'm warning you. Just saying. If you go in that room, I'm not responsible.
If you come out of that room, well, it won't be good. So everybody behave. That's all I'm asking. I've got my kid gloves on.
Don't give them your phone number. Okay. Because he'll be texting you all sorts of filthy things. Oh my gosh, I'll just add it to my list.
I've changed my number three times. I don't know how he keeps getting it. Oh my gosh. No, he doesn't.
He's persistent. Oh yeah. I think women require persistency. I mean, once you've learned over the years how to easily obtain someone's phone number, address, and personal information, you can do it readily.
It's pretty much readily available on the internet if you know a last name. Thank you for announcing mine on air. Wait, I asked you if I could. It's okay.
I just gave you a fake name. Oh, sweet. I thought you used that name professionally. Well, that's a secret.
Tell everybody a little bit about yourself and then we'll start the show. Okay. Well, what would you like to know? You can just ask me, I know.
Well, what do you do? You know. I'll tell you what I do. I'm the marketing and sales director for Arizona Small Girls.
And it's a great fun job that I love. I enjoy going to all the events and meeting wonderful people. I'm always kind of out and about and I really enjoy it. I come from Ohio.
I'm not a crazy, crazy Buckeye fan, but I do have a little bit of that in my blood. That's where Morris is from. Oh, yeah? Yay!
What park? Columbus, Ohio. Actually, Lexington. That's the flower of Ohio.
What does that mean? Columbus is a beautiful, beautiful town. It is. Thank you for saying that.
I actually pulled it off with that fake smile, didn't I? I'm not sure if that was fake or not, but I think it's a beautiful town. No, really, from Lexington, Ohio, which is a very, very small town. The village of, actually.
And Mid-Ohio Raceway course. So it's the smallest town. I grew up, can you hear me? Am I close enough?
Yeah, I can hear you. All right. And, yeah, that's what I do. I lived in Arizona for about six years.
And I love it here, except for the last couple months. And, you know, that's it. So wait, wait, wait. How long have you been here again?
Six years. Six years. Well, you know about the summer, right? Here's what I think it is.
Oh, no, no, no. I have memory loss, I think, every year. Everybody does. I do it as well.
You go through the summer going, holy crap, I'm going to move. I've got pamphlets on where to go and I'm out of here. And then, and then the nice weather hits. You're like, ah, it's nice.
And then you forget on purpose because you don't want to think about what's coming up. So you shut that. I think everybody shut it out of their minds. I totally agree with you.
I shut snow out of my mind for however long I lived in, you know, Ohio. So it's very highly possible that that's what we do. I love snow. I love skiing and snow.
Snow's fun. Snow's pretty fun. Snow's awesome. Alright, well let's do this.
We've got a lot of stuff to do here on the show in a little bit. We've got Ask Dr. Jeffrey. We've got Dumbass of the Day on the way.
Some entertainment news as well. Right now, let's take a look at your headlines. Yes, economists say our national debt rises $3 million every minute. So Morris was having sex last night and our national debt rose by what?
A million and a half? Yeah, wow, that's amazing. You don't have to pay for any of it. Well, that's a bonus.
I didn't say you did. Oh. So an Outback Steakhouse in Ohio, of all places, accidentally served alcohol to a four-year-old. Come on.
Witnesses say they immediately knew the girl was drunk when she seemed to be enjoying her food at Outback. So that would give that giveaway. A Florida man who was released after being wrongfully imprisoned for 36 years got married over the weekend. I guess he just couldn't handle that freedom after all.
He wanted to be back in jail? Yeah, after having a wife for two days, he starts begging, I want to go back to prison. The food's better. I need the ball and chain.
Self-described spam king Sanford Wallace surrendered to the FBI for breaking into Facebook accounts and sending out 27 million spam emails. Yeah, note to hackers, if you want to avoid prosecution for spamming, how about not calling yourself the spam king? I mean... It's a little obvious.
You're the first person they look at. So Merriam-Webster Dictionary added the words tweet, bromance, and fist pump to its latest dictionary. Come on. To make room, they eliminated words no one uses anymore, like dictionary.
Or definition. Or intelligence. Donovan McNabb made his first start as quarterback for Minnesota yesterday. When asked how he felt about McNabb taking over for him, Brett Favre responded the same way he always does, by tweeting that photo is junk.
Send it right over. No big deal. So threatening messages have been posted at a White House Facebook page. The threats include undercutting the crop prices at the White House's Farmville page and tagging the White House in unflattering photos.
Are you talking about the game on Facebook? Yes. I hate Facebook games. Yeah, have you ever played any?
Just one, but it's an intelligent game on Facebook. Okay, what game is that? What do you think? Yes, I'll give you one guess.
Vampire Wars? I don't know. I don't play any of them. I always get a question.
Come on, let's talk intelligence here. Words with friends or enemies, depending on how you look at it. Well, you just play it out on your phone. Forget Facebook.
Well, those people on Facebook, you can find people on Facebook to play with you. That's my point. So you're Scrabble stalking. I am Scrabble stalking.
I played Farmville for a while, and then I got kind of bored. I was just in between jobs, so I had plenty of spare time. And I had amazing farm, and finally, I was just like, you know what? This is just a complete waste of time.
And I did something that nobody else has done on Farmville. I mowed over all my crops, and I actually, they could sell houses and then put roads, and I built a subdivision. I just used all my farmland for a subdivision. That's innovative.
I like Arizona. I had no more money left, but still, I had a bunch of houses. So everybody come, hey, Jeffrey's Farmville. What the hell?
I had like a whole city there. Welcome to the suburbs. I think I'd play that game. It's like Gilbert.
So, yeah, Contagion was the number one movie at the box office over the weekend. Gave the audience just what they wanted. Great acting, good script, and most of all, Gwyneth P I know, they just play one on TV. I know, and badly.
So I have decided, why not me? So now it's time for Ask Dr. Jeffrey. OK, Dr.
Jeffrey. We're going to do relationship questions. You can call us at 480-423-1260 if you want, but I've got some emails to answer. Before we go, do you have any relationship questions?
Because I'm good. I mean, I really am. No, she's pretty good. Really?
Yeah, you'd be surprised. You won't be that surprised. So you have any questions? Not right now, but I'll think of one.
A good one. Even questions for other people who are having issues and troubles? Let me toss it around for a second. Alright, well, watch me shine in this role.
Just watch me. I'm watching. Alright, first, email comes from Jenny in Fountain Hills, and she says, my husband and I are expecting our first child in three months, and my belly has gotten huge. Wherever I go, people are always asking me what I'm due and if I'm having a boy or a girl.
The weirdest thing, though, is that strangers are always touching my body without even asking me. People do feel like they can just touch a pregnant woman anytime they want. One guy grabbed my waist and said, oh, you're really filling out. Other people will just touch my stomach because they want to feel the baby.
They'll put their hand on you like that. Yeah. Say, ooh, is there going to kick? Is it gonna kick?
I'm gonna kick you. Other pregnant women deal with the touching uncontrollably. Why do strangers want to feel the bellies of pregnant women? Alright, most people just want to see, it's like the miracle of birth.
They want to feel the kick. If Morris is touching your stomach, it's for completely different reasons and you should call the police. I agree with that. I was just saying, I'm going to get one of those fake pregnancy suits so people come up and touch me once in a while.
That'd be the safest way to touch you because it'll be touching a giant prosthetic out in front of you. Yeah, which, by the way, okay, leave it. Leave it. Walking away from it.
Yeah, so I always, you know what, I've had a few children. Prosthetic? Thought it would be fun on the big pregnant belly when you get to about nine months to paint body paint it white and then like make it look like a Pan Am, like the front of a plane. Oh my gosh.
747, because it does. It looks kind of like that. It kind of does, depending on if it's a boy or a girl, you know, the way that it sits, high or low. I get that.
Right. Well, if it's a 747 here, if it's a girl, then you'd be like a 777, whatever, you know. Right. But so I guess the question is, why do strangers want to feel?
It doesn't matter. You should tell them to knock it the hell off. If somebody comes up to you and starts to touch you and you don't want them to touch you, you're perfectly in your right to say, please don't touch me. And I don't know why people feel like they can just do that.
That always bothered me when people think they can just come up and just touch you without asking or touch your baby without asking. You know, it's personal space stuff. So why they do it? Well, who cares why they do it?
You just need to tell them to knock it the hell off. I agree with that. It's like a close talker. Oh, yeah.
I don't like that. I don't either. You keep backing up and they keep walking forward. How come close talkers never seem to take the point?
I've actually done this. I put my hand on their shoulder and like held them back and said, really? Of course, then they're like, why are you touching me? Yeah, exactly.
You're not supposed to touch me. I hate the jackass in line at Circle K that wants to stand two inches behind you. Like it's going to get out in front of the line any faster. Hot breath on the back of your neck.
Yeah. I hate that. You just want to lean back and just lean back. Put your head on the shoulder and go, so what are you doing later?
Hey, dude. Freak him out. All right. Here's another one.
This is from Steve in Mesa. He says, when my wife and I got married two years ago, we had a strict policy that we were going to keep our bank accounts separate. All right. It's not that we just didn't trust each other.
We were just very independent and we want to keep our money that way. Because we don't talk about our personal finances that much. I have no clue how much my wife makes. She did split the mortgage payment with me, so I have a vague idea of her income, but I don't know the exact amount.
Is it odd that my wife and I haven't told each other how much we make every year? Do other couples not share their salaries with each other? That's odd. That's a little weird.
Yeah, because, well, maybe you could Google it. What does she do professionally, you know? You get the only good idea, though. Oh, OK, gotcha.
So, but here, I guess if your arrangement has always been that way, why do you care as long as she makes her half the rent? Good point. But if it works. I mean, because the biggest thing married couples fight about is monetary situations.
So if you're not having that problem and everything's worked up until now, just leave it the hell alone. Yeah, is it weird? Yeah, a little bit. But you signed a prenup.
Either way, it'll be half yours if she makes more than you when you divorce her anyway. Only you would think that way. Only you would think that way. And only you assume she makes more than he would.
Well, I think that's what he's wondering, is if she makes more than he does. He's calculating it, yeah. I get that. It doesn't matter.
Because if you've started that way, well, that's the way you are, unless you want to combine all your accounts and then everybody knows what everybody's doing. But don't you guys do tax returns together? Yeah, you have to unless they have separate businesses. If you guys are doing a tax return separately and taking a hit because of it just because you guys don't want to know what the other person makes, there's bigger problems there than just how much, you know, somebody's keeping their salary from you.
I totally agree. These questions are like questions I can say, dump him. You know, I can't do anything with this. I don't know, dude.
Just, what do you care? Alright, Kurt in Gilbert says, I love my girlfriend, but she's the most passive aggressive person I've ever met in my life. She's the type of woman who will give me the silent treatment until I apologize for something that's made her angry. There's another thing she does I don't understand.
We'll get in an argument and afterwards she'll post angry status updates on Facebook. It's obnoxious because we're already mad at each other. Then she has to get all 400 of her Facebook friends involved, too. That is so hysterical.
Why does my girlfriend have to post an angry status update every time she's pissed at me? Is it a girl thing to be that passive aggressive? No, actually. And I shouldn't talk about this, but my, I don't know, significant, I don't really know what to call him.
You've got a boyfriend in New York. No, he's not in, well, he's in, regardless. He is passive aggressive. You know the whole quiet thing?
Yeah. He does that to me. She's quiet and then all of a sudden you see something posted like, no, no, no, no, no, no Facebook, just the other. Yeah, so the point is, Kurt, is that women don't hold the patent on passive aggressive.
I would agree with that statement. So it's not a girl thing to be passive aggressive. No. But I think it is annoying.
It's very annoying. I've had this happen where, you know, you don't know what's going on until you see it on their Facebook. And you're like, what the hell? Why don't you just talk to me directly about it?
Why you gotta, because everybody knows we're together. Then they know you're talking about us. Now you're, you know. Well, she was probably trying to get, you know, allegiance behind her, for her side, her case.
Hey, yeah, I know. I say, I still see why that's frustrating. Kurt, number. All right, next.
I like to think of myself as a guy who's pretty trendy, says Devin. What's that say? Oh, Sun Lakes. OK.
I like to think of myself as a guy who, if you're not trendy, if you live in Sun Lakes, Devin. I want to retire at Devin's. Yeah, he's young, so you need to get the hell out of there. Anyways, I like to look good and wear whatever clothes are cool.
Last month, I took a girl on a date to a concert and I decided to wear my skinny jeans. I'm sorry, you said you took a girl to a concert. Skinny jeans? You really say that?
He's wearing skinny jeans. I don't think those are in style anymore. Devin, are we, is this a question about something else? Like how to help you come out?
I'm not, anyway. She made a crack about me being a hipster and she has no guy friends who would ever be caught dead in skinny jeans. I think I agree with that. I know, I think That's about all I got for you.
I don't know. Amy Smart and cable home improvement guy Carter Oosterhouse got married Saturday. Your documentary claims that George Harrison had hundreds of affairs and that he had at least a heavy flirtation with Madonna while he was producing Shanghai Surprise, her movie with then husband Sean Penn. I would not be surprised at what that says.
I agree. Sean Penn. Yeah. A home that Jack Nicholson owned but was renting out to someone else burned down Friday night.
Bummer. Yeah. Jack Nicholson. I always get Jack Nicholson and Jack Nicholas confused.
Jack Nicholas is a golfer. Jack Nicholson is just a famous swordsman. Oh, awesome. Thank you for that clarification.
And actor. Awesome. Despite doing a reality show together for Oprah's network, Ryan O'Neill says he and his daughter Tatum are not on good terms. He says, quote, We only reconciled on the show, not in real life.
We don't speak. In fact, we're further apart now than we were when we started the show. So thanks, Oprah, for all your help. What a train wreck of a family.
Now he's biting the only hand that wants to feed him right now by giving him that horrible reality show. I agree. Ellen DeGeneres is developing a sitcom with NBC that would star her wife, Portia de Rossi. Did I say that right?
I think it's Rossi. I don't know. Doesn't matter. It sounds good.
All we know is that it's about dueling sisters and Portia would play one of them. Hmm. Interesting. Justin Bieber is thinking about starting a family, but not quite yet.
Justin Bieber? Yeah. He says... Has he hit puberty yet?
No. You can't start a family until you hit puberty. What is he, 14, 15? No, he's like 16 or 17, but he still hasn't started puberty.
Some people blossom late. 25, 26. He's going to be one of those people. I wonder if, like, they're giving him some sort of hormone therapy to keep him from catching puberty because then once he does, they're afraid that he'll get awkward looking and he won't have the same voice.
I wonder if he's a eunuch. I think he is. He's already very awkward. They snip the Bob Barker.
They, you know... Yeah, yeah. Hopefully they don't do that. Your voice is always high-pitched.
He's, like, wanting to be a father by 25, 26, so, you know, he wants to see himself married and looking as a family man. He wants to be a young dad. He's like, I'm not looking to get married now, but definitely want to be a young father. Maybe he could do it backwards.
I think he's just going to have to adopt because there's no way that he's actually working with real ammunition. He's a little guy. Yeah, I agree. Will Selena Gomez be part of that family?
It's probably too early to tell, but he says, quote, she's amazing. She's my girlfriend right now. Justin, who's 17, was the product of a single teenage mom. He says, quote, I didn't have a lot.
I grew up in geared to income housing. It was always rough for me. We went to the food drive all the time. I always thought if I ever get rich or famous, I will help people who are less fortunate than me.
Well, that's nice, Justin. Hey, Bieber, we get it. You came from humble beginnings, but you're really annoying right now. You say you didn't have anything growing up, but I noticed in the clip for that movie, it looks like you had a drum set, a keyboard and electric guitar.
I mean, he had thousands of dollars worth of gear. Probably had more than some people. Yeah. No, people are going, so what?
Well, this year he even helped with a food drive in his hometown. So he says, I'm just saying, right? Elizabeth, Elizabeth, Elizabeth, Elizabeth, just say it fast. You don't have to pronounce it.
That's what I do. It's the latest celebrity to do one of those. I'd rather go naked and wear fur ads for PETA. If you're wondering who she's talking about, it's George Clooney's ex-girlfriend.
Yeah, didn't last long either. I really thought for George, it was an eternity. Gosh, she's dating some really young, hot guy now, apparently. Won't go figure.
And while she is naked and looks fantastic, all her naughty parts are covered. Meanwhile, George Clooney is still running around with former raslin' babe Stacy Kiebler. Isn't she the girl from Twilight? I don't know.
No, no, no. I thought she was the girl from Full House. She might have been in Twilight. I don't know.
She was a WWE diva. Oh, are you serious? Yeah, she even met with... I WWD don't care.
She's very hot. She was on the cover of Maxim a few times, too. I think she had a Playboy spread. I don't know.
Really? All she has to do is one wrong move and she's toast. Clooney is the man when it comes to being, like, a swingin' single. He's got that old school sort of slickness, kind of like back in the Rat Pack days, you know?
And that's why they made Ocean's Eleven, because everybody's like, good lord, that reminds us so much of those guys. He's a combination of Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin. That's what he is. He's walkin' Rat Pack personified.
He's timeless classic, yes. And then, Pitt could have been in that club, but he ruined it. Now all he does is carry diaper bags all the time. He deals with it.
He didn't ruin it. Come on. Oh, Angelina Jolie shows up with his nads in a bag on a regular basis. You know, they're in this little chain purse.
I think that's a good place for them to be. I'm sure that he's not complaining about that. I mean, look at her. She's Angelina Jolie.
Yeah, you get to think. Is there a balance? Like, when she's massively beautiful, yes. But he has to carry diaper bags and he has to learn 12 different languages just so he can tell his kids it's time to eat.
I don't know. I don't know, Jeffrey. I think I would like to be Brad Pitt, but I'm not just saying. You'd like to be Brad Pitt?
Loving Angelina Jolie! Oh, stop the music. Stop the music. All right, Morris, let's close our eyes.
Let's take a moment with that. Okay, we're done. All right, good. Bring the music back up.
Let's go ahead and continue. All right, well, speaking of Playboy earlier, Kim Kardashian is not trying to buy back her own sex tape. Whoever's trying to buy back the Kim Kardashian sex tape, it's not Kim. It's probably Bruce Jenner.
Right? Or her wonderful mother. Or Jessica Simpson's dad. I actually saw her in New York this past weekend.
Oh, yeah? I was there for the first 10 minutes and she was walking down the steps at, and I'm going to screw up the name of this hotel because I'm pretty much on a roll today, screwing up the names of things. It starts with a G. Gavin'sport.
Something very fancy. But, yeah, she looks great. I just don't know how somebody with that much fake eyelashes and makeup can, like, go around during the day. Kim Kardashian or Jessica Simpson?
Oh, Kim Kardashian. Jessica Simpson. Jessica Simpson's got a billion dollars. I like her, too.
A representative for the anonymous buyer of the tape insisted to TMZ that it's not Kim or, quote, anyone even remotely associated with her. A source close to Kim backs that up and adds that Kim is, quote, very curious who's trying to buy it. Probably an ex-boyfriend. Although, can't you just go online?
Yeah, hasn't been posted. Everybody has seen it. It's old news. It's nothing anybody cares about.
So, you know. Yeah. Jennifer Lopez and Hangover stud Bradley Cooper. Love him.
Might be copulating. They were spotted having dinner Saturday night at a place called Per Se in New York City. Hmm. Whether or not it was a date is currently in dispute.
A source tells TMZ it was indeed a romantic encounter. But another source tells People magazine that it was a business meeting. And they were, quote, in discussions regarding a project. I mean, I think that's a weird couple.
Not going to lie. But... Just because they're copulating doesn't mean they're a couple. Isn't that what that means?
I don't think... Why is that so weird? That's a weird... I don't know.
Brad Cooper and Jennifer Lopez. Right? Yeah. I don't know.
Is it any weirder than her and Ben Affleck? No, not really. Good point. I guess in Hollywood it doesn't really matter.
Who do you see her with? Who should Jennifer Lopez be with? Well, she's had, what, like six husbands? So maybe she should be...
Nobody should know. I don't know. You think nobody should be with her? Yeah, maybe.
I think she's an icon all on her own. She should just stand in her own one. Or is it just more you think Bradley Cooper should be with you? Oh, he's hot.
I think you've gotten to the point there. I'll take J-Lo. You can have Bradley. How's that?
Okay, cool. Beyonce is craving Oreos, gherkins, bananas with ketchup. It's time to play What's Pregnant Beyonce Craving. What the hell is a gherkin?
I have no idea. According to Britain's not always reliable son tabloid, she's been whooping down Oreos, gherkins. Maybe that's what they What? How you doing?
Why? I'm sorry. There. You want me to go on that side?
I thought you wanted me to move over. No, no, I said we may have you. I said not yet. Oh my God.
Why aren't you listening to me? I don't listen. I'm a small child. Oh.
She's not listening to you. She's doing a good job filling in for Pam. No. Pam doesn't do either.
Nobody around here listens to me. This is The Daily Blender, and we've got about eight minutes left, so how about we do this? Pop quiz time. That's right.
Time for a pop quiz. All right, we're going to see, Melissa, how much gray matter you have bouncing around up there in that brain of yours. And well, we know about Morris, but basically, I'm going to ask you guys these questions, and we'll see who gets the higher score. OK?
OK. All right, here we go. Pop quiz. Pop quiz.
Hot. All right, here we go. The Houston Oilers were originally called the Steers, but the owner... Can you let me finish the question?
I thought you did. The owner changed the name because he thought people would make fun of the team named after a castrated bull. So it's true or false? True.
It's actually false. Yeah, the Dallas Cowboys were originally called the Steers. Oh, very cool. Did you know that?
I did not. No, I didn't think so. Their owner changed the name for that reason. All right, Cardinals got their name when the owner called the team's jerseys Cardinal Red, so no one would know that he bought them used from a college.
That's false. I'm going to say true. It is true. Woohoo!
Paul Brown, who owned them, says, all right, fine, I'll name them after me. The Browns. I'm from Ohio. Hello.
I should know that, right? I'm from Ohio, too. Oh, you are? And he's, you know, supposed to be a football guy.
Oh, a football guy. You're not into football so much. Not so much. Yeah.
The man who won the Name the Team contest for the Pittsburgh Steelers was given season tickets, which he has renewed every year since. False. True. Actually, false.
He renewed them for 63 years before dying in 2003. Oh. That's a trick question. Yeah.
So now it's a tie. Thanks, God. All right. Philadelphia Eagles got their name because the owner insisted on having the team name that began with a vowel.
True. False. Eagle was the symbol of FDR's New Deal, which is why the owners picked it. All right.
You want to stay with football, or should we move on to current events? Football. Current events. I'm going to go with her.
Yes. All right. Let's see. Now, I'm going to start the question.
You guys have to finish it. Okay? Oh, boy. Justin Bieber says by age 25, he wants to start...
Having a family. Puberty. Puberty. You are correct, Morris.
Oh, man. Point for Morris. Usually, Pam keeps score, so this is hard for me. Next time we do this, you have to keep score.
Okay. No problem. Insiders say any day now, Paul McCartney will what? Die.
Record a new album. No, I'm sorry. We're looking for be indistinguishable from your grandmother. Oh, yeah.
He's getting pretty old. No. Rosie O'Donnell says she's much nicer now thanks to... Prozac.
Chocolate. Actually, we're looking for the KFC double down, but I'll give you some credit for that one, Morris. That was probably correct. All right.
Khloe Kardashian screamed at her mom in New York after her mom told her to... Stand up straight. Look more like a woman. Actually, we're looking for stop swatting at planes and climb down from the Empire State Building.
Hardcore Kardashian. Oh, my gosh. Angelina Jolie appeared at the Toronto event Friday with a purse. And her kids in it.
What was with the purse? It was filled with diaper wipes and pacifiers. I would go with that answer. Sorry, we're looking for filled with Brad's dance.
Oh, that's right. And finally, person of interest is... Anyone? Anybody on an airplane that looks like they might have a bomb.
Suspicious. I'll give you partial credit, Morris. We're actually looking for a person of interest is what Tony Danza isn't to Hollywood casting agents. Aw, Tony.
So there you go. All right. Looks like Morris is the boss because he just actually, for the first time in a long time, has done better on the pop quiz. No, I beat Pam once last week.
Huh? I beat Pam once last week. What you guys do on your ride in is none of my business. All right.
Time now to find out who is not bright. Let's find out who is your dumbass of the day. All right. Dumbass criminal for the day comes from Mount Prospect, Illinois, where dumbass Hecum Garcia broke into Mr.
Beef and Pizza restaurant. So he breaks in there, gets the cash register, takes that thing apart, gets all the cash out of it. And so after he went through the register, there's some tasty treats in here. He's like, oh, you know what?
I'd like to come to this restaurant for the food sometimes. But nothing's made. So he grabbed himself some chicken tenders and a handful of fries, went back to the kitchen to prepare them and cook them. Bad idea because the video surveillance cameras then in the bright light of the kitchen were able to record everything.
And he was easily identified. And now he's under arrest. So there you go. There is your today's dumbass of the day.
That's seriously? Well, I like it, Melissa. You got your mouth open like you can't believe it. I can't believe it.
This is nothing to compare to some of the dumb asses we've had on the show. Yeah, this one actually makes sense. If I ever robbed a Long John Silver's, I would have to stop and make some fish. That's just dumb.
That's just dumb. You take a takeout. Fast food. You just stole enough money to go drive through another one.