Money In Marriage: It’s a Matter of Value with Shaunti Feldhahn

What would you call a marriage where spouses see “eye to eye” about money? Some might call it bliss.It’s true that most couples at least occasionally quarrel about their finances. But could a better understanding of each other’s values help spouses avoid that bickering? Shaunti Feldhahn thinks so, and she joins us today to talk about it.Shaunti Feldhahn is a Harvard graduate, former Wall Street analyst, social researcher, best-selling author, and a prominent public speaker. She is the co-author of Thriving in Love and Money: 5 Game-Changing Insights about Your Relationship, Your Money, and Yourself, written with her husband, Jeff, and has co-authored several other books with him, revealing impactful truths about relationships at home and in the workplace.A Lesson Learned Over DinnerShaunti and her husband, Jeff, learned this lesson early in their marriage. Living in New York, they often ate out due to their demanding schedules. However, a seemingly small issue—ordering a Diet Coke—would trigger recurring arguments. Jeff, concerned about their financial future and mounting student loan debt, saw the expense as unnecessary, while Shaunti viewed it as a simple enjoyment that enhanced her meal.It wasn't until years later, during their research for their book Thriving in Love & Money, that they realized their conflict stemmed from differing values. Jeff prioritized financial security, while Shaunti valued the experience and enjoyment of a meal. Once they uncovered this, they could communicate more effectively and honor each other's perspectives.The Root of Money Conflicts in MarriageFinancial disagreements often arise because couples fail to recognize and respect each other's values. In Shaunti and Jeff’s national study, they found that:67% of couples in financial conflicts believe their perspective is the logical one.Couples often perceive their spouse’s spending habits as irrational simply because they prioritize different things.For example, one spouse might see value in spending money on a gym membership for networking and health benefits, while the other might believe household essentials from Costco are a better use of resources. The key takeaway? Neither perspective is wrong—both are rooted in deeply held values.The Power of CommunicationThe solution to money conflicts isn’t just budgeting or financial planning; it’s communication. It’s crucial that couples discuss not just what they want to spend money on, but why it matters to them.By having open and honest conversations about financial priorities, couples can:Build mutual understanding and trust.Find compromises that respect both perspectives.Create a financial plan that aligns with their shared goals and values.While couples can work through these issues on their own, it can be very beneficial to seek guidance from financial advisors—especially those with a biblical perspective. Kingdom Advisors, for example, are trained to address not just the numbers, but the relational and spiritual aspects of money management.Advisors can help couples navigate tough conversations, align their financial goals with their values, and ultimately steward their resources in a way that honors God and strengthens their marriage.At the heart of every financial decision in marriage lies an opportunity to foster unity rather than division. God cares just as much about the marriage as He does about the finances. By understanding and honoring each other’s values, couples can turn money from a source of conflict into an instrument of peace and purpose.————————————————————————————————Shaunti Feldhahn’s full article, “Money in Marriage: It’s a Matter of Value,” appears in the 1st issue of Faithful Steward magazine. When you become a FaithFi Partner with a monthly gift of $35 (or $400 annually), you’ll receive Faithful Steward magazine and other exclusive resources to help you grow as a faithful steward. Visit FaithFi.com/Partner to learn more.On Today’s Program, Rob Answers Listener Questions:My husband and I sold a property, paid off all our debt except our mortgage, and I’m rebuilding my savings after a $14,000 home project. Once my savings are fully restored, should I start investing? And if so, should I invest all of it or just a portion? I’d be looking at about $112,000, but I’m cautious and not experienced with investing.Resources Mentioned:Faithful Steward: FaithFi’s Quarterly Magazine (Become a FaithFi Partner)Thriving in Love and Money: 5 Game-Changing Insights about Your Relationship, Your Money, and Yourself by Shaunti and Jeff FeldhahnOur Ultimate Treasure: A 21-Day Journey to Faithful StewardshipWisdom Over Wealth: 12 Lessons from Ecclesiastes on MoneyLook At The Sparrows: A 21-Day Devotional on Financial Fear and AnxietyRich Toward God: A Study on the Parable of the Rich FoolFind a Certified Kingdom Advisor (CKA)FaithFi App Remember, you can call in to ask your questions every weekday at (800) 525-7000. Faith & Finance is also available on Moody Radio Network and American Family Radio. You can also visit FaithFi.com to connect with our online community and partner with us as we help more people live as faithful stewards of God’s resources. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. 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