Mortal Kombat (1995)

God, it'd be one of my favorite songs about testing your mic. Top 50, easy. How did that song not win an Oscar that year? Yeah, right.

I just think it's kind of as far as, you know, theme songs to movies based on video games, it's got to be the best one. What about, well, there's that, of course, the Tom Jones Assassin's Creed song, which we'll get to. We'll get to it. If I knew any, even one thing about Assassin's Creed, maybe I could, yes, I end you, but don't.

Yeah, I got nothing. I got nothing. He wears a hood? Yeah, he's running around.

There's a secret brotherhood. He's wearing a hood. Yeah. There's something there.

Maybe. I don't know if there's something there. Well, we have fiends over here doing a Foley work. She's just crinkling paper.

Perfect. She's got her own ASMR podcast that she's working on. Just cutting through a bunch of heads of celery. Yeah.

She just, there's one claw just like straight down like a piece of paper. There's a video I see a lot when I go online of Disney Foley guys. You should see the thing they used to make thunder. Like a big drum with a crank on it.

Yeah. I love Foley guys. I know. And it's like, they don't do that anymore, right?

There's just like a sound library, I'm sure. Yeah, I mean, I have to imagine that it's the Foley, anybody who's like, you know, doing like the boots, you know, gravel kind of thing is just, you know, it's something super specific, you know, something you can't, there's got to be a bank of like a billion sound effects that you could pull from. It's like, I follow a few like VFX artists on Instagram. Love that.

Yeah. One of them, like one of the big guys I can't remember who like does a whole haunted house at his house for Halloween every year. Yeah. You shouldn't have time for this.

This is a travesty. I'm not going to get this man work. Yeah. Oh, by the way, welcome to the show.

Welcome. Play me. Game me. Game me.

Game me. Game me. Game me. I asked for you.

Play me. Play me. For example, I can't. King me presents.

Play me a king me production. Robin Dan. I'm player one. A.K.

Dan. Hell yeah. I'm player two. A.K.

Rob emphasis on player. I'm like to stick. Yeah. I'm player T.O.O.

Two. I'm player. We're like the ice climbers. You know the ice climbers from like Super Smash Brothers and what I'm coming from.

Yeah. Sort of a tandem duo. Totally. Yeah.

Equal. I get the boy colored barca. Oh shit. I got the girl one.

Sorry, bro. I'm not doing it. I'm not playing as a fucking girl dude. And we'll get to that.

And we'll. It's a week two. Yeah. Last week.

Double dragon. Yeah. A martial arts fighting game. Yeah.

Kind of street fighting game. Not Street Fighter. Ask. That's this week is the fighting game.

But not Street Fighter. Not Street Fighter. Real. Real tighties.

Thank God the episode title is the first thing people see. I think after, well, I watched, before we recorded last week, I watched some like quick, just like scrub through some like playthrough of Double Dragon like the arcade game and shit like that. And it is just like, it's not even, it's different than a side scroller. I don't know what you would call it.

It is somewhat of a side scroller, but it's like, it's where the ground that they're on is like on an angle. Yeah. You know what I mean? I think of the Ninja Turtles arcade game.

Exactly. Yeah. So, but in that sense, right, in the way that like double dragon video game, very slight in story to Ninja Dragon Brothers must fight street gangs. They must.

I think that movie is a success in translating that to the screen. Sure. They were like, like, yeah, they add some stuff. Yeah, they add some stuff.

Everybody else in the world was like, no, thank you. I don't like this. And to which I say, what did you expect? What did you want?

Mortal Kombat on the other hand, this week's film. Yes. Also, no real. I mean, the lore of the game itself is stupid and flimsy.

It's just like, well, yeah, there's a tournament of Mortal Kombat tournament where you fight to the death and you bring your special power. Right. And that's it. And if you lose, the bad guy keeps your soul.

Obviously. Right. And he says, sometimes he says, finish him. Yes.

He likes to say your soul is mine. Your ass is grand. The movie was like, that's perfect. That's just enough.

Yeah, that's great. Again, this, I mean, like the karate tournament movie at this point has been like, they've been doing it for a decade plus. Yeah. You know, even like enter the dragon two decades earlier is essentially that.

It's like, you know, they get Bruce Lee and Jim Kelly and John Saxon from different parts of the world among other people bring them to this island where this like crazy millionaire is holding a karate tournament. And you're like, all right. Yeah. That's cool, man.

You got these guys in a room. Yeah, exactly. So like that's kind of interesting. Right.

And then like Mortal Kombat comes out, which the video game, the arcade game comes out in 92. Yeah. All right. So it's like the groundbreaking stuff, especially when they punch someone through the ground, right in the game.

Yes. They slam them down on the ground so hard to hail into whoa, that's crazy. But it's like the video game having, I mean, when it came out in 92, people were like, this is the worst thing that's ever happened to humanity. This is like ultra violence.

Yeah. It's like the way that people, I guess used to talk about Call of Duty. Right. I don't know if they still do, but well, yeah, I mean, yeah, people talk about it the way that they talk about, frankly, like, like snuff foot.

Like this is so violent. Yeah. And it's so people, I'm sure played Mortal Kombat, but yeah. I think the thing that like freaked people's beans was like, that was the jump from like the sort of like pixel, you know, more eight bitty, cartoony looking thing to this like mocapped.

Yes. It looks real enough. Yeah. So where people are like, oh, you just kind of shot that guy.

Look at all that blood. Look at all the blood. Oh my God. That's a real human spine.

Yeah. Well, that's a thing. Whatever, like, you know, that shit is like catnip for kids, where they're like, oh, fuck yeah, I'm going to rip this guy's spine out. And then parents are like, what?

You can't rim a spine. I mean, spine out. I'll tell him. I'm just waiting for that call from the principal saying Billy ripped a boy's spine out.

So I mean, whenever society loses their mind about something like that, I'm always on board. Sure. I'm always I'm for it. Yeah.

I'm for society losing their mind. Mortal Kombat also a midway game. Yes. Midway.

This sort of their specialty is just like the most crass. Yeah. It can be violent. Yes.

Midway. I know Midway best from because like Mortal Kombat classic. My mom did want me playing that film. She wasn't knowing that I'm talking about this.

Yeah, of course. But I did play their sports games. Did you ever play? They had NFL Blitz NHL hits.

Yes. I forget there was a. There was an NWA. Not NWA NBA.

There was an NBA one. I forget what that was called. And there was a baseball one too, which was insane because he just like punched someone as they're running a second base or whatever. But the those games were so fun.

They were so much more fun than like. I would play NFL Blitz all the time. It's free. Like I had Madden whatever that year was and I didn't play it all that much because it's so much more boring.

Yes. Like you in Blitz you could like literally like rip the guys head off. Right. The field's like 800 yards long.

Yeah. Like every pass it goes like twice as long or whatever. Right. It's just action.

They were like they invented. So they invented the XFL. I was just going to say that they were like that game was so popular that they made a league that was kind of that they were shooting for NFL Blitz. Yeah.

Yeah. Tits everywhere. Yes. It's just like the most base like lizard brain sort of fucking shit.

I guess in the sense that in the same sense that Mortal Kombat is a lot like the ultimate fighting championship. Well yeah. I mean so you know how there's always some people do you get to some people have a gun. Yeah.

Yeah. Some people just have a fiery skull. That's so many fiery skulls in this thing. Everyone's just a skull.

Yeah. I guess that's true. Everybody is kind of just a skull. I like the the CG in this is bad.

Reptile. Reptile is bad. Unbelievable. In the sky there will be like weird like super imposed images like the one right it's like when they're on the boat just like about to transition into out world and somebody's like it's beginning.

Oh let me tell you what happens. Raiden says it has begun. It has begun. And then the stuff in the sky happens and then we go.

But the stuff in the sky is literally like a skull. Yes. That like sort of floats across the screen. That's it.

Oh shit. That's the beginning. Imagine how crazy it's going to be. And then Shang-Sang also goes it has begun.

Yeah. Like damn. Okay. So they agree.

But they're both confident. Yeah they are. They're both. Yeah.

So let's talk about. So Paul this is directed by let's see Paul Anderson. Now you're like boogie. Boogie Nights.

I mean we did watch Magnolia. I think that was last year. Yeah. We both really enjoyed that.

I'm just similarly sort of an ensemble cast. Yeah. Sort of Altman-esque. Everybody's talking over each other and whatever.

I've heard Altman's Mortal Kombat. It's four hours long. I would watch a four hour cut of this honestly. Or if there was more action.

If there was more action. I think it's a little sleepy during it. I remember when this. That's why they play that techno.

I know. It's like when they're trying to flush a cult out of compound. I remember being kid and again this is like made for kids. But just being really into this and watching it this time I was like I thought this was going to be a little bit more fun.

Yeah. If this was see like so it's PG 13 which I think is antithetical to the game and like the whole idea of it. That is sort of the tension of the video game movie generally is like the rating standards or like the accessibility I guess relative to the rating standards. Like so much easier to buy a rated M game than you go see a rated R movie if you're.

Absolutely. Or was. I'm sure now maybe you can do whatever you want. I think you could just walk past the one guy working at the movie theater.

Yeah. The 100 year old man taking tickets. What you do is you go one popcorn please and while he's scooping the popcorn walk into the field and don't pay for any of them. Yeah.

When he turns around here. Or the 16 year old kid who does not get a spot exactly. He's got like Elliot Smith blaring in his ears 24 seven. Yeah.

Yeah. I guess but like so they knew they made a moral comment movie in 2021 it came out right. And that was rated R and it was like just much more violence which is like that's. It's a motherfucker.

That's like what we're doing. Yeah. Right. So I think right off the bat you're kind of like stuck in this but like they're making a movie called moral combat based on a moral comment video game for kids like what are you supposed to do like for bad kids for bad kids.

Yeah. Yeah. So Paul I like it is funny that he is credit just at the end it just says directed by Paul Anderson and you're like mmm. It's Paul W.S.

Anderson. It's the classic case of Bill Murray doing the Garfield movie. It is. He's got the Cohen Brown Joel Cohen or whatever even Cohen just what yeah the Cohen Brothers doing Garfield movie is something that again.

Bill Murray thought could happen. He's just been a wise ass right. He must surely he must love the paycheck. Yeah.

That's so Paul W.S. Anderson who I think at this point hasn't really like he's probably made some you know small stuff but this is like the biggest thing he's done up to this point. Right. It's got to be.

Yeah. He did a movie called shopping the year before which I'm about Dan easy based on a video game. They should that's what the Barbie movie should have been. There was an old Sega Barbie game.

Oh yeah we should just go shopping and you their pizza is flying at you at one point. Now. Imagine that in 2024. Yeah.

How do you think people would have reacted to it was just like if the movie was women be shopping. Yeah. That's that's the tagline that's on the poster is a women be shopping. Probably well right.

What Barb andheimer have been the fucking crazed out with the fact that two movies were coming out on the same weekend below everybody's fucking mind as far. Wait a minute. We got to waste when whenever like I see online like you know 30 years ago 40 years ago this weekend this was what was what the marquee look like and it'd be like seven absolute fucking bangers would stop every. Yeah.

Like I could go see I could go to the movies and see like any kind of movie at any point right and also if I went to see if I walked into any of these blind I would have a great time. You know and now it's just like you get one movie a week. You get one you get two movies a week once for boys and once for girls. You know what really bugged me was glickered gladiator and wicked people were doing and it bugged me because it's like you're not going to have it.

You get you get that man's name out of your mouth. If this is not Jiminy Glick and La La Land. I want no part of it. Have you watched Wicked or Gladiator too.

We talked about Wicked right? It's too CG or AI looking for you. Yeah. Yeah.

No. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

I tried to watch it. I got about. Good faith. You went in and good faith and you're like maybe I'm like I don't know I really don't know the story I know that it's been around for whatever 25 years does play and I know the general to just of it but like whatever I was like and it's a big sensation now everybody's like and all of those crazy interviews what are they all about.

So I'm like let me let me get this shot. I got like eight minutes in and I'm like this is this is too much to look at. Yeah. I feel like a dumb caveman like fire bad but maybe fire bad.

I don't know. But it's not fired. It's just fire though. Yeah.

Everybody thinks it's fire. She ate. Ariana eight. Yeah.

Oh my god. A big Cynthia Rivo energy big Cynthia kill. Not really getting into doing like she's a cunt. Did I do that?

Did I do it right? Yeah. I mean the movie is like almost three hours long and it's part one. Oh god.

What do you do to me? You know guys I'm 41 I'm going to die sooner than ever. Please. I can't do it.

I would rather watch a Mortal Kombat. Not in like a US guys kind of way but like really truly nothing has ever been less for me than like a three hour fan fiction of the wizard of Oz. Right. Which I'm like the original wizard of Oz like I like it.

I haven't watched it since I was a kid probably which it probably deserves a rewatch Dan. But I think I'm like you know it basically like it does this thing where you know it does the sepia tone and the color and it's all like beautiful and everything looks amazing in the movie. It's in Technicolor. It looks fantastic right.

Like all the sets the costumes that all of the music all of it right is just like it's this huge they ate they were right. Yes they were all fucking munched in cunts all but that out of t-shirt they were all munched in cunts. But you know like it David Lynch sees it as a kid and he can't shake it forever. Well I have to film a calf a dead baby cow.

I have to swaddle it like a child. Yeah I have to I have to film Kyle McGauklin leering at a woman through a closet. But this is just like it feels like an AI generated or like just it's it's one of those movies where there's like so much happening on screen and whatever it's like there are movies that come out now where I just feel like I walk out and I'm like I feel like I've been skull fucked. Yeah that's really just assaulted for two and a half hours.

That is like I remember watching like the Avengers like the Infinity War yeah and being like I can't that was the point where I was like I can't do this anymore. I'm out yeah it's too over stimulating and for nothing it's right it's jamming like skittles down your mouth just jamming them as many as you can fit in your fucking mouth. Vlogger I'm goosing myself with skittles. Yeah yeah just like over stuffing yourself and then you leave and you're sick and you've you have no new church you're malnourished right you know and like nothing you're like I don't even look I feel disgusting now.

That's why I only watch movies like Vimvender's Perfect Days. Sure the brutalist. The brutalist I've not seen the brutalist. I haven't seen it either but everybody I've heard from saying super chill not full about it.

Yeah I heard being thoughtful about it. It is people have been calling it the good version of Megalopolis which I take serious session I won't be hearing that. Yeah no slander please. Oh I guess I'll never see the brutalist.

I think it's the bad version of Megalopolis. It's my take. So alright back to the accusations of Zionist over the years I'm Megalopolis I'll tell you that much right now. That's right.

That's that new Rome that's not a real place. That's not a real place. Just Italian. Completely fictional.

That's all I see. Oh wow okay speaking of movies that are not overstimulating. Yeah. Mortal Kombat kind of boring.

It is a little bit boring for a movie called Mortal Kombat. It is a little boring. For a movie based on a game that people were like this is gonna fry kids brains because it's like yeah it's super violent but it's also just like yeah you turn it on you hear that song you're like oh my god right. So directed by Wes Anderson.

Yeah Wes. Wes Simplatin Anderson. Written by Ed Boone. John Tobias Kevin.

Drony. This guy's just going on and on. Do not hire him. But let's get to this fucking cast because this cast is not stacked.

Daring top of the top build Christopher Lambert the Highlander himself right as Lord Raiden and Asian character. Yes also like they completely redesigned him so that he looks silly silly silly. Yeah and he looked fairly silly in the video game. Yeah but at least he's like wearing fighting clothes.

Yeah that's true. And this he's just like he's like a monk in this like wearing ropes. He doesn't fight. He doesn't need to he's got thunder.

Yeah he's like this is another thing it's like this video game is sort of the they're pulling from all different things right. So like Lord Raiden feels honestly feels a lot like the three storms from big trouble in Little China. Those three guys just kind of one guy. So he plays Lord Raiden a guy the you know protector of the Earth realm.

The god of thunder and the protector of the Earth realm. Didoy. Didoy. I don't think his lines are dubbed over but they all feel dubbed over because that is because he does not speak like a human man.

He doesn't. He doesn't. There's also like there is a sort of they give him the a bit of the Candyman treatment where they like put his voice loud in the mix. Oh yeah.

Especially when he like first shows up. Yes. He's just also got that voice like that. Yeah very grab a top.

Yeah it's it's a bit whispery. Yes. Yeah. And I can't do it.

Part of it too is like his face doesn't move so any inflection doesn't match his face. Yes. Yeah it's all fucking weird. Except for when he laughs and goes ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

He's also he's kind of funny. He's kind of funny right. Would you be surprised to learn that he was born in Long Island. I'm sorry.

What? Here's a really bad look from strong island. No I'm sorry. That's a mistake.

It simply must be a mistake. He's from his let's say born in Great Neck Long Island. Chris or my parents family left the US when he was only two years old. Okay.

There is his father was a United Nations diplomat assigned to Switzerland and as a result he was educated boarding schools in Genevieve. There we go. And you know a lot of good it did him. Imagine what could have been.

Imagine your Christopher Lambert diplomat. Not Highlander. Which we haven't picked a movie for this Friday. That's still up in the air but we're probably not going to do Highlander.

We're going to do Highlander some other time. I think so. I think so. So we'll just watch a different Linden Ashby movie.

Johnny Cage. Johnny Cage Linden Ashby kind of the. I mean he's the comic earlier. He's sort of the Chandler of this picture.

He's a bit of a Chandler. Could I be anymore in that world? Could I finish him anymore? Stuff.

Stuff. Stuff. Stuff. Yeah Johnny Cage.

I'm not going to explain what Johnny Cage. Like he's a movie star who's like a Vamdam-esque character. He's a movie star who can do karate but people think he's a Charlotte 10. And all over the world the front pages of newspapers.

Yeah. Like Johnny Cage. Fake. Fake.

I like a world where that's front page news. You know. Yeah. It was just like pick.

I mean can you even think of a modern karate guy? No. I'm thinking of like a John. Any John Wick character.

I'm like not really. I mean it's like Donnie Yen. Right. He was in the last John Wick movie.

He's been in a bunch of stuff. Donnie Yen, martial artist, whatever. Even that is like a stretch for people to be like I kind of know who Donnie Yen. But yeah.

So Luke Johnny Cage. We have Luke Kang is Robin Shoe. Robin Shoe I only really know from this movie. I watched like I went on a you know Cynthia Rothrock is.

Cynthia Rothrock is an actress. She's a martial arts actress. Okay. She did a bunch of movies produced by Chinese companies.

She was like she was one of those like Americans that like moved to China. Learned like martial arts. Got into like the like Chinese movies as a martial artist and stuff. And then like made somewhat of a transition into American movies but not like never anything like big.

It was always like there was you know we're talking about like karate movies or whatever you have like Sigal and Van Dam at sort of the top. And then there are these other like knock offs of them. So like Jeff Speakman is another guy. I know.

Dan Shakin is that Jeff Speakman is like he's in this movie like the perfect weapon. He's just like a karate guy a martial artist who was like they were like we should put him in movies because he's he can do karate. Right. They're looking for the next big thing.

Exactly. Cynthia Rothrock was like kind of one of those and she had this her move like her signature move was the Scorpion kick where she would like sort of bend forward and one leg is planted on the ground and the other leg swings up behind her and like kicks the person like Scorpion tail. Yeah. No.

She's in this movie with Michelle Yoh called Yes Man. If in the mid 80s or whatever where they play like sort of a they're both cops and whatever. But anyway so she's in this movie and Robin shoe they do like an American version and then there's the Chinese version which has like Robin shoe in it as like sort of another character that was completely edited out of the American version. It's just this weird sort of thing that like yeah I'm sure maybe we do some sort of version of that now with like or maybe everything is just so homogenized that like you know all studios are like what we have to think about foreign sales so we all everything has to be the same uniform and whatever but anyway Robin shoe another martial artist right Luke hang not necessarily the blues Bruce Lee stand in but kind of well I mean there's nobody else really don't that and he's like that seems to be like the closest analog right to Bruce Lee was like the I mean he's the weirdly the one martial artist character in the Mortal Combat even yeah really I know look I know Sub-Zero's a ninja but he's a ninja with ice sure you know it's his main thing is that it's ice it's that's why it's his name instead of you know you know foot-fist way so you got him you have I'm gonna take it please please Gary Hiroyuki to go off thank you as Shek Sun this guy rules yeah I feel like I've seen him in other stuff he's in a bunch of stuff he's in a million fucking things he has a hundred and forty two credits on IMB but he's just he's been in so much so much stuff for just so long yeah right and I don't how old is he when he makes it so let's see born in 1950 so he's about 45 dude is pretty fucking jacked I'll I'm saying yeah he looks good yeah I'll say it something to aspire to when I turn 45 yeah I'm gonna wait until then really hit my stride but he plays sheng Sun the main villain in this and he's he's doing he's carrying the movie he's doing all the heavy lifting no one at all yeah and he's he can act and he could be like physical he's the he is the best actor in the movie second best actor in the movie is the Goro puppet dude it's impressive it is impressive I'm like why did we not keep going with this we could have had replicants by now totally yeah also I mean now that I mean you say replicants right but how everybody like how you know people are on the whole like AI thing and like robots our nyversa yeah yeah it was a generational talent you change the game but you see like how like what I post tech like shows and whatever there's like we're you know we're we're unveiling our our robot our humanoid robot right and it's like the most ghastly thing yeah of course it's just like yeah the face is all fuck yeah oh god sorry we're in person so I'm doing a lot more space work today but in everybody in the audience is like I don't know can I fuck it can it fuck me I don't know right but what are we gonna get like a Goro version of that fucking robot right like fuck humanoid like I get Goro is humanoid technically but like fuck the way you like so much more than that why yeah why do robots always have to be like two eyes in front of mouth like we don't have to do that you know like well Star Wars I think like kind of expands a little bit but even that is they're still like very humanoid it's true except for art to yeah art is like the one exception sure and everyone else yeah yeah you gotta point here right like well people don't like the boss and dynamics dogs yeah well because they're terrible yeah they're terrible but he would like a Terminator like skeleton right like the robot skeleton it just it has teeth yeah and it looks funny not some bolts we just food for robots it looks cool as hell but you know practically I'm like well I would just make like a 360 degree like ocular sort of yeah it's like a dome yeah yeah any what I'm talking about making Goro robots now but the Goro pop it does rule I like a lot it looks cool and crazy how articulate it is it's crazy yes and how like you know it looks like real and it like looks looks imposing you know it looks like big feet tall and like you know when people are like standing next to him and like fighting him or whatever you're like it's moving slow and shit but like at the same time you're like still big yeah still big like in the new movie obviously it's CG and it just doesn't obviously it just doesn't hit the same Goro computer Goro imaging so and alright so we got those what about the women we got Bridget Wilson the gals of Mortal Kombat gals Bridget Wilson Sampress is she married to Pete Sampress no I don't know that's funny I know that Bridget Wilson AKA Veronica Vaughn yes me it married to Pete Sampress how about that yeah Miss Veronica Ellen I tell you she is one piece of ace would you say you know from experience dude yeah yeah yeah no no I don't same year came out the same year as Mortal Kombat she was 22 or 23 she's better than that she is so bad and that's really I mean to be fair like she's like just really miscast you know she she's just blonde she really has she's really an affordable blunt we need an affordable blunt just play Sony Blade yeah they're like checking the back pages and like no no not that no I mean for a movie yeah like don't say that though yeah don't throw it away later but so she plays on you blade who is supposed to be like this badass sort of like SWAT soldier kind of person tactical she's got guns she's got guns you know shoot them up guns and also some fucking I mean in the video game she's got some you know arms on it right pipes but pipes is singing oh whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa to look on that um I'm not a martial artist so you was defying gravity and no one really only flies or anything that's actually well Johnny no Luke gang who does his bicycle kick yeah he does that he's defying gravity he is defying gravity um yeah British Wilson miscast but you know just sort of a placeholder almost like just a body to fill the Sony be like yeah basically yeah literally just be so in the trailer to get people in they can be like all your favorites are here including Sony blade yeah I mean they do hit on like the original Mortal Kombat cast right because it's only like eight characters or whatever in the first one so they get all of them basically and then you know there's you know Mortal Kombat 2 and 3 they start adding more characters and that's you know katana played by Talisa Soto another beautiful woman who isn't much of an actor doesn't it doesn't really do anything doesn't do anything except say in the Black Tower three challenges or whatever right fucking great Trevor Goddard don't know him but he plays Kano yeah he's uh he's having fun yeah oh I mean what a joy is an actor you're walking me like oh boy oh I got a male face boy I love that prosthetic because the eye is like downward yeah it's it's Halloween time it's Halloween I do I really like to see where he is sitting at the table eating and like talking to Goro and Goro is a big dog and I'm kind of yeah he's just like I am Prince Goro I am Prince I'm a four armed monster Prince and you disgust me and yeah is he in a turkey leg what could be grosser shiny turkey leg I like how Francois Petite plays a sub-zero I don't know who that guy is but you like his little name I like his little name I like that I like the sea has like a little thing on it yeah he's fully French I suppose yeah we we anyway he's a world class martial artist this is good this is good because these are like guys and masks they don't have to do anything yes except well he's scorpion we will dub in get over here and it will be funny yeah I love what he's like he says get over here he also says like go over there so I don't get down here I know which I don't think is in the video no it's not you ever says get down different just different prepositions yes it's only here yeah get in here get above here yes scorpion played by oh where you say no no go on Chris custom also yeah quick is it cameo if the person is not a popular actor T or just a sort of just casting a character actor I think it's just casting a character casting someone right but Peter Jason as master boy which hilarious right who is Peter Jason he is in a bunch of John Carpenter movies I'm I'm looking and I'm looking yeah okay he's in like didn't they live he's definitely in they live he's like one of the resistance guys you know he's like yeah he's the one like yeah he gives him a tour he's like let me tell you what's going on here right he's got a great voice he is a he played yeah master boy Luke Cage's mentor mentor I guess it's I'm really him I mean he turns around to shine so anyway deceitful very very to see phone care for that we're cold open of the movie I mean that's on plays over the new line cinema logo yeah and you're just like oh shit we are not waiting anytime like if you walked into the movie late you would have missed that moment it's great song it's so real cool oh yeah yeah I have a weird obsession with the music yeah so when I was a weird little boy turned into a weird little man just trying to be a weird little man I like so my dad was like strict about music that I like listen to right I wanted he wanted he was like you can only do to tell who I was going with the real version no but yeah my dad my dad only listened to the blues only right and he was a he was a bottle harmonica type of guy oh in yeah in his like the last like ten years of his life he learned to play the harmonica and then would impose that on every share that was everybody else's problem that it became evangelizing the blues yes so it was a real blues traveler that way so oh yeah so he only listened to blues which meant they're meant like in the car nobody had it and there were no options besides the blues and it was miserable right it's a sad music and then my mom was into like the stuff same stuff that your mom is into like the 60s 50s 60s kind of music ranking Valley in the four seasons or whatever or whatever it's just like a it does the spring field that's one thing yeah yeah but like I I would want to listen to like I remember being like 10 or something and wanting to get the metallic black album and they're just like no devil music right not knowing anything about it's fucking ironic considering Robert Johnson literally sold his soul to the devil if I knew that back then I would have thrown it in their fucking faces oh the man who sold his damn soul to play the fucking blues your devil music kids roll things are gone down a lot differently let me tell you I'm full of Mark Walker oh and I want to serve for dinner night so I just remember being like I could I would get soundtracks the movies because I was sort of like a backdoor way of getting like some music that I wanted to listen to but I remember getting the Mortal Kombat soundtrack so there was a soundtrack to this movie which is all like techno kind of stuff and then there's a an album that was produced that has that song on it right the Mortal Kombat song but then it has like 10 nine or 10 other songs and each song is dedicated to a character okay okay and so I just want to play a little bit of this yes okay so this is the wait don't tell me Sonia Luke hang nope right nope you're never gonna get it Chinese Ninja warts with a heart so cold death of fear oh wow I got nothing wait on Luke Luke nope I just thought because the audience cheering oh wait this is a good one wait I'm not gonna win Johnny Cage that's what he said oh sorry I thought he said Luke hang sorry oh I made it said Luke Cage all right all right Johnny Cage Johnny Cage yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah um really certain where these guys French or something I'm sure they're French yeah this is the most syrupy and syrupy and shit I've ever heard my whole life so that is fascinating yeah that was your favorite music so I definitely listen to this album a lot when I was like eight or nine years old I had like a disc man and I would play this CD right it's so weird looking back on that now you really liked like character so you really it's that's new it's Randy Newman-esque it's ultimately so like that was part of it was like I don't have access because like you know my dad wouldn't let me listen to certain music he certainly wasn't let me play Mortal Kombat but like this was sort of a way for me to again like backdoor imagine what was happening in the video game or like you know have some sort of frame of reference to this cultural thing that is happening you know what I mean so just a weird so kids would be like talking about Mortal Kombat you'd be like ah yeah scorpion I'll solve that's on revenge of course yes yes I guess he's the yellow yellow yellow one uh oh well let me tell you what I've learned like knowing like too much with the backstory but without having played the game whatsoever oh my god that rules yeah um a lot of fun a lot of fun there's a there's this other uh this is just another just Mortal Kombat song that isn't as popular as the other one it's not as good yeah it doesn't it doesn't have that fuck and that was the guy who yells Mortal Kombat he was in the commercial for Mortal Kombat that was like I remember the commercial being on TV and it would be like people running through the fucking streets and then one guy just being like Mortal Kombat and everybody you know like they hold up the Sega Genesis like cartridge or whatever and everybody just had a lot of fun with this this is that game that Bart wanted oh yeah yes it's the one he sold his soul for right interesting hey this is the thing about losing your soul the thing I mean movie yeah so cold open and now we're into the podcast yeah cold open up the movie we get into it yeah why do we take a little break oh sure we can take a break okay all right guys we'll be right back nice round two five and we're back and we're back flawless victory the movie the movie cold open cold open we see uh two guys a young younger man and older man and the older man is just beat shit out of this young guy it's like in a looks like some sort of temple yeah you know like a stone structures stone structure ancient you know I gotta tell you the movie looks pretty good yeah you know I was obsessed with all of the sets once they get to the island yeah like they're just like cluttered with statues and stuff like that yeah it's like kind of bright like everything you know it's like ancient but all very vivid bright colors I liked it I liked it I like how the I mean this is something I do like about it is that like the a lot of the exterior is or whatever they look really good because they're in real places right they go to whatever fucking like beach they're riding on there right right the that like temple with all the monks and stuff in the stone structure it looks cool then once they get like into like out world yeah we're we're we're on the set of legends of the hidden temple exactly and it looks like it definitely looks cheesier you know it looks like oh well that's a statue over there but I know that I could pick that up because it's made of styrofoam well one of them is made of reptile yeah and bugs maybe and stuffed with bugs stuffed with okay when you get to out out world it's all bugs it's bugs all the way down the statue will turn you into it yeah you'll be it'll be you right but but then when you when you get spit out watch for the bugs yeah there's a lot of bugs it's a lot of bugs this machine runs on bugs so this uh this older guy here we've learned is shanksun and this the younger guy is lukehang's brother and um he shanksun kills this this kid and then into the camera he's like he's souls mind your next age you're going down your next bitch next bitch um and then lukehang wakes up in colts wet right in a green room yeah the room he's about to go on stage at scb that would be hilarious if he was like he's the guest monologist yeah that's why he moved to the city quit the the priesthood or whatever yeah yeah so improv yeah he's passionate doing improv long form improv um I thought this was like I thought we could have played into this a little harder with like lukehang being maybe a little lower status and like maybe if he's in there like if he wakes up and there's like you know booze bottles around or like a woman laying next to him that he doesn't know who would it you know I mean like maybe life isn't working out like yeah you know what I mean like a little bit kind of a scumbum kind of vibe right but like so there's more of a redemption to his arc there's no redemption there's nothing there are no arcs nothing happens right like no matter how many times Raiden insists that each of these characters has a distinct work yeah yeah they don't right um we learn that like so you know it's so actually it's so funny when he's telling each of them what their character arc is yeah and burns revenge on Sonia yes he's like a na and then a revenge yeah i say revenge you both are revenge you guys are both doing revenge um yeah so uh so that's Luke hangs he wants revenge for you know his brother's murder right uh then we get the giant cage thing where you know we see this guy he walks into a warehouse and there are like four men in suits and they all have different weapons and they attack him and he fights them and uh there's that moment where like the one stuntman doesn't fall and he says this is the part where you fall down and you know and then they cut and it's a movie and and he's like this is why nobody fucking believes me is because i'm part of this piece of shit movie and whatever and he's like a real primadonna about the whole thing right and then that's where peter Jason comes in as his old mentor sensai perhaps yeah he's like this like schlubby white dude which is like yeah you're the best martial artist in the world and i should know and i should know i look like schlubby white dudes being great at martial arts is a thing from that time period it's like you know strip mall uh martial arts right um one of my favorite things the karate craze we talked about it tiger schloman tiger schloman and that sort of thing yes so he said he tells him about this tournament that uh once in a generation it's once in a generation and you uh you know you could put all of these he's essentially saying is put all these haters to rest you know make make your what essentially he's saying is make your haters the waiters at the table of your success that's right so um and then he in a very like weird sort of transition peter jason walks away but the way that he's walking is so like sort of robotic is like all right you have to walk exactly like this and then like transition there's like a transition where he uh trans transforms into shank son so that's whatever then we go to a nightclub a like heavy metal nightclub like fucking strobe lights of people dancing and we see so you blade with her team jacks he's there he's got regular arms though yes he doesn't have those metal arms yet not yet not yet but uh she's in there they all have fucking guns and they're just walking through this crowd of people dancing again i love like this feels like a video game with like NPC characters just like i have to go to a nightclub and fight this guy yeah but none of the side characters are paying attention at all no no one no one's someone's a mine when gun fighting yeah like like she shoots a guy dead or not dead i'm sorry the guys wearing a vest but shoots a guy like through play glass window that guy also by the way fire into a crowd yes the crowd nobody fucking does any nobody moves um in the new in john wick four there's a scene similar where he's fighting this guy and it's like it takes place in this nightclub just huge nightclub on multiple like levels of the nightclub through crowds and all this shit and there's gun fight and and everybody's just continuing to dance like it's a video game like they're just like background characters it's fun so whatever um she's looking for cano who killed her partner right she wants revenge fine fine we never meet this partner i don't think we learn the partners name nope no no doesn't matter quite so much um she's very upset about it though she wants to kill cano and so and then we find can't cano i love when he's uh he really like formally introduces what's his name shang son shang son he's like uh he's like i forget what he says but he's like isn't that right shang some master shang son yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and then we so we find out like shang son is getting all of these people for his tournament right and he's using cano to lure sonya blade onto the boat that is going to take them to outworld but it seems to have like uh i'll make you my outworld bride thing with her until he doesn't at all it is it doesn't it's almost an afterthought it feels like where the it like there's like he's like beautiful sweet beautiful sonya yeah yeah yeah the whole time the whole time he's like is like a fire style the whole time old daniel daniel but then he uh simply just like whole time they'll do it the whole time queen the uh but yeah then when it like you know when the the the cars are on the table he's just sort of like um i guess i'm gonna fight you to death yeah i'm i'm also like i'm from outworld so i'm not really great at relationships i don't know how this works i think i'm supposed to if i love you i'm supposed to fight you to the day i didn't have a good role model growing up it was just goro yeah it was goro in the emperor he wears a skull for a mask um so the like i had seen this movie but not a really long time but this time around watching it it felt the whole thing was shang son in sewn you know whatever i was like i don't know this i don't remember this for a fact but it feels like she's going to end up in some sort of a slave lea outfit yeah which she does um and you know it's whatever it's funny too because like it doesn't it's not good or bad because it has no effect on anything you know the outfit itself isn't like crazy it's not be either but i did think it's funny that they like do her hair differently yeah put her in shackles and and these are hair out give her a blow out no make her look like uh like an eight-gicks in the heavy metal yeah yeah i have a tonic a tan thing she just got an early convenience right now um that would be funny if he was just like shang son is just like i want to meet tony katann but i don't know how to talk to her next right tony katann versus the hood of a red convertible so um yeah so that's his motivation for getting sauna there and there all of these um in the luke hang he goes to his old temple with the monks talks to them and the monk is like oh fucking thing yeah i mean it's all it all of this stuff is like hablum it's dumb it's just like get these people on the boat get them into mortal combat right and the the monk that luke hang is talking to is like you know he believed in in shang son and this mortal combat thing that comes around in generation all this shit right and luke hang is like this bullshit i know it's bullshit and whatever he died for nothing and he's like and the monk is like well you know should uh lord radian shows up and there's this whole thing and radians like uh you know meet me there's a boat that's leaving out of the harbor you should be on it and then you could compete in moral combat whatever everybody goes to this boat or this doggy doo ghost boat scooby doo ass ghost boat um also the dock i love this the dock that they're they go to it's the middle of the night it's they're it's pitch black and they're just guys welding and making sparks yep they're just they're on the dock they're on like a carrier ship nearby and they're just firing sparking the overnight shift at the spark factory i love a spark factory in the movie just looks cool so we get our first little taste of uh these beloved characters interacting oh man luke cage right off the bat johnny cage sure sure luke cage is a marble guy right yeah he's uh he's got the he's very strong his skin is uh impervious to anything that's right and he's a strong guy but he that's like the big thing he's just can't be jonathan cage jonathan let's see here jonathan's john cage riley johnny cage gives his luggage to luke he's oh look at this he's such a premium he's got what five suitcases and he said right luke uh john candy and plane strings and all of the girls he's got a trunk that he's dragging around oh we've been funny jonathan's that no one thinks he's a real shower curtain sale you're like all the newspapers are like his wife is dead he's not really married um so yeah he sees lu luke and luke oh i'm all fucked up here luke johnny jonny cage luke and yes luke hang walks by and johnny cage says hey buddy uh you know take my bags onto the ship and lu lu was like you want me to do that he's like yeah i give you money you take the bags and he he takes the money and then he takes one throws one of bags over it and he's like thanks he just walks away and john cage says well hey and ask him to park my car so whatever you got like some of that and then we see sonya is like hanging back she's like uh staking the whole thing out and then she sees the crowd she's ready to fire your gun into it you're right and then she sees kano like out of the shadows get onto the boat and she's like i'm getting on the boat and then we're on the boat and the boat like sort of it comes out of this fog this mist right and then it's got the mortal combat dragon on it yep on the mast on the mast and then and then it disappears back into the mist right and then we're on the boat and we meet like there's that one guy art i think right john cage oh the the guy who gets killed by gorro leon yeah art and he's like he talks though and he's like i really like your fight in london or whatever the fuck and us the viewer is just like i don't know who art is art's gonna die don't get attached yeah don't get too attached i don't want to learn too much about this guy because it ain't gonna last that's the only guy who wears a karate gi into the ring he does yeah everybody else is pretty lacks about it we do see that like kind of montage of two guys in karate gi is getting their asses kicked by no one yeah but it's supposed to be gorro i guess i guess so whatever they're on the ship raiden is there to the lonely island would love this scene yeah they're on a boat um there's that they go below deck right and there's that scene oh the cast of below deck right love this thing they uh there's a scene with shank son and then he brings out scorpion and sub-zero yeah i guess he's just gonna kill them on the boat yeah he's like again it doesn't matter the rules of this tournament are very lax it's it's all whatever it's all just like let's see everybody on screen here right it's we're like 20 minutes at the movie where scorpion wears sub-zero my question for you is is this like a level you fight on in moral combat you like the leaky boat yeah like the bowels of the boat i don't remember it but that doesn't mean it didn't it's you know it could be um i do like someone getting punched to hell though in the movie yeah that's good that's good that's good to do that um with scorpion subject like sonya pulls out a gun sub-zero takes a gun freeze it snaps in half right scorpion has his hand he just shows off his little guy in his hand he's got the the spear which is funny like in the video game it is just like a spear that comes out of it's his hand it comes out of nowhere whatever but in this it's like a little creature guy yeah he's got a little guy in him yeah and like it has a beak but it's also metal it is but it's alive it's alive it has like a mouth with a tongue in eyes yeah and when he's like and it's like a serpent sort of like chasing johnny cage at that one point i fight in the woods for no reason i don't but i mean i don't set that up they don't set it up at all it's so funny but the rose of trees looks pretty cool yeah how did you find that tree farm tree farm tree farm tree farm that's the answer um so whatever raiding comes down he comes down he comes down as like a ball of lightning or whatever and he's like everybody stop like this goes against the rules and you gotta fucking play by the rules right and he raining explains that um the emperor right who shanks on works for uh wants to has ruled out world for so long and wants to take over another realm and to do that you have to win mortal combat ten times in a row in a row and they've won it nine times in a row goddamn it it's a big one it's a big one all right a lot riding on this so that's like the stakes sure okay all right and then i don't know the movie happens the rest of the movie like everything that happens in the movie like it's just like a lot of unmodimated stuff it's just sort of like scene after scene of like things happening after scene and it's not it's not clear like they're they talk about this emperor he's not really he doesn't have a tight handle on this situation yeah we don't see the emperor until the last moment of the movie in the sky right he's a sky uh captain um i may have fallen asleep did you miss that part i think it fell asleep it's like literally in the last like sixty seconds of the movie i was out last night i watched this i started it at midnight okay so i think i felt like i watched most of this yesterday during the day but then last thing i got home from work at three a.m i finished it i i definitely like woke up to techno blaring yeah what better way to start your day yeah frankly um yeah so but there's like they go to this like i got the sense that like the the sort of like castle built into the stone or whatever thought that was gonna be like neutral ground but it's like everyone's having dinner and then shanghi and his guys just show up and start flipping tables yeah they're like he's like here's a little taste of what's to come yeah fucking dinner's over bitch yeah let's throw your food on the ground yeah um it's so messy uh all of these so he has like all his little army of guys which are just like super ripped dudes with like red hoods on yeah um and he's like this is you know i have to show you a display of what what's gonna happen i have to show off sub zero yeah we'll get how cool this guy is yeah we forgot to write more scenes for sub zero so let's just yeah exactly one of mine guys yeah i want to just i have to kill this guy so that that guy does like a little quick little shadowboxing like oh he's very fast he does kicks look at him right and then sub zero is just sort of standing there and we know that sub zero is blue he's blue he's cold as ice yeah like a sacrifice that guy yeah and so the guy does like a flying sidekick or whatever and sub zero freezes him and then he shatters like a Terminator 2 guy you know we'll go on to say that that guy's guts were all over the ground she always guts in everything like are we talking about man it's all frozen yeah what are you talking about bro it's PG 13 you saw snow yeah trying to trick me into thinking i saw someone's guts yeah don't lie to me please um but then are three sort of main characters right Lou johnny and Sonia they go exploring and they find kano um i love it like Sonia is so fucking stupid in this that she like you know they're hiding kano is sitting at that table like pontificating about whatever to goro this eight foot tall eight or four armed monster yeah and Sonia's like there's kano i'm gonna kill him right now and everybody's like stop well hold on a second yeah see i think he's friends with the monster yeah yeah maybe wait a minute um but yeah like she does have a gun she does uh no she does it oh her gun guy frozen snapped in half yeah of course i mean she could have put an end to this real quick script is pretty tight here you thought of everything wow it's like die hard to really use the whole buffalo you know so um they uh oh they also when they're like in they see it Lou sees um uh katana right right and there's just sort of some like uh that's princess yeah and she's we find out that she's ten thousand years old looks great um she is the emperor's adopted daughter we find out weird thing to throw in weird yeah i don't i don't care of course but it feels like this whole like um like uh like anastasia sort of thing you know like what is the romanovs right we're like there was some sort of a coup and like the emperor in world combat over throws this whoever was in charge of that world before kills the family except for katana who he takes as his adopted daughter for two uh they say in the movie two um established power or something because she is like continuity of government something like that yeah yeah yeah like this is a weird you know we're moral combat like defines like how you know what realm you're taking over and whatever like the continuity of power thing like i don't want to get too deep in the weeds here but what are we talking about i don't know how you guys do things in out world yeah yeah so whatever um katana is there and there's sort of a vibe between her and Lou but whatever we don't get much else the three of these guys they they leave uh this you know they were spying on kano and goro they leave that and they they get lost they see fucking uh they see katana there and she's like lead trying to like i don't know it doesn't matter whatever right it's all like it's like yeah and luke hangs like we should follow her yeah and they're like so he's like i don't know why i don't want it so he runs ahead yeah goes into this like little thick little cave kind of weird thing reptile sprays him gives him the the the Jurassic park noumen treatment yes he gets way knighted he gets way knighted oh that's one knighting ceremony you don't want any part of that's right and then the reptile just runs away yeah and those two show up they're like are you okay we didn't mention reptile reptile reptile is just like a three foot tall sort of it's it's like a CGI so like general sort of reptile yes right looks like shit but um i guess i i do like when you can see reptile like fully in color and it's all like yellow and orange and green and chili yeah uh it it just reminds me of like a very specific time in like computer graphics when it's just like we only can do like so many colors they're not very good and it looked like um like the production card at the beginning of a video yeah i have that little guy yeah you're doing the color balance whatever yeah yeah so that's clearly the thing it's like we need him to pop it's gonna pop yeah um but he's like shank son's little spy so he's like a chameleon right he like he can go invisible predator style right so there's whatever then they end up back in the dining room that they were just spying on they have to fight some guys then some more guys show up Raiden gets there it's just holding down again Raiden real party booger here and then we get like some fight scenes right we get like luke hang fighting that one dude with the dread box or the the braids right and then then that guy gets his soul sucked out of his body yeah soul sucker that's funny yeah um but then shank son shank son's gold diggin' out yeah he's like uh you know he says his soul is mine right and then you like you see him like remove the guy's soul yeah and then we're sort of like oh this is the these are the stakes like if you lose he will take your soul right and this is what that looks like um shank son also has the i guess the power of all of the thousands of souls that he has sucked um over the years right um that's fun every yeah and it's like we do kind of see like different types of soldiers he's sucked sure where it's like like a doeboy yeah yeah for getting samurai and there's a samurai in there um red coat yeah there's like a guy with uh you know swords there's a guy with like a big stick there's a mafioso yeah yeah he's shank son sucking my fucking soul all right um we got the sona cano fight which is it doesn't make any like like canoes you know this big like muscular dude yeah bridge well again like in over her head as an actress doesn't like she really is like really really selling the hits that she receives she's taking yeah yeah like she gets in the stomach and she just like she just like oh fuck yeah oh fuck it sucks oh i love you guys yeah um but like the punches that she's throwing whatever it's all about us once again we get a like uh non-martial arts actor in uh johnny cage yeah uh kicking really poorly yeah like knee bent kind of just like yeah yeah like you swing in his leg over like a like a low fence or something like that like that like uh uh sona breaks canoes neck in like this leg lock thing um and uh shank son is all bricked up about this he fucking loves that shit um we have the johnny cage scorpion fighting that the tree the rose of trees or whatever comes truly just like we cut and then we're there it's not part of the tournament i mean it is but it's it doesn't nobody else is there it's just like taking place right yeah there's no set up the whole thing the whole island is the tournament that's what i think like people are just like it's like a dangerous game but ever man for himself i guess interesting i don't know the roles are not like not super quick they're playing fast enough remember when luke hang and katana fight and nobody has to die yeah again like the janks i just shut it down he's like stop making googly eyes at each other right yeah it's not fun yeah fucking kiss and get it over with you so the johnny cage scorpion fight right starts in the woods then they go to that like scaffolding like hell yeah right um that's all fun stuff get over here come down here get up here yeah go over there glasses off here dad try hair up glasses on glasses off um johnny cage he wins the to fight he went he went into fight real good the the get over here the thing the little guy is taking off the board immediately yes lambs full speed into a tree into a switch yes you go squish yes um how's he win that fight johnny cage yeah um scorpion takes off his mask we're going to just a fiery skull that's right and he blows fire at johnny cage who has a shield they use the edge of the shield to cut scorpion's skull and a hat that's right um then we get the luke age katana fight and the whole time katana is like you have to go to the temple and there will be three challenges and all of this stuff they and we're back and we're back um all right so uh we're talking about fucking moto comment what yeah um we were just concluding uh the fight between luke age and uh oh no we talk about how when you go to the outer world outer world uh you gotta go in the dark tower yeah yeah the nexus of every universe yes and you got there's gonna be three things first you gotta face you know what the three things are one was like your worst the last one's your worst fear one is like your second worst fear and then your third worst fear really is just like what the second one is yourself i'm working backwards here so last year worst fear second yourself yeah first is just like i want to say like honestly just like a strong guy you're like your worst enemy or something yeah the biggest guy your worst enemy in this case a weird little reptile yeah so they lu fights sub-zero right yes there's uh a bucket of water that radon oh right that's the other thing katana's like in your next fight oh he was the element that gives life it's like just say water yeah just say water don't you don't have to be so fucking correct just say you're fighting sub-zero use water yes um radon drops off a couple buckets of water dips out and then sub-zero comes in he gets you know starts this uh uh uh i don't you know it's big shield around yeah like a fish i shield essentially that keeps like swelling outward and lu tries to get through it and he's like oh my hand is cold too cold then he knocks over one bucket of water he's like water the essence of life and then he takes a bucket of water and throws it at sub-zero which forms a little spike big spike yeah go right through which is i mean that's the best way to get away with murder game i've heard that i also killed some beat someone to death with a leg of lamb and then cook and serve it to the cop who's investigating the case oh it beat somebody to death with a leg of lamb um so sub-zero dead scorpion dead right two of the coolest kind of characters so you just took off the board there but whatever yeah pretty effortlessly um then we got yeah the montage we were talking about with the other karate guys fighting goro but we don't see you like goro in action really and then he fights that guy art and everybody's like oh art you're gonna die yeah like you're i like when people are like keep you like get up get up art yeah as art's getting it just absolutely tossed around by this big guy yeah um so art gets killed and for some reason like it's not really um it's not like a strong connection between art and the rest of our gang here but they're devastated well that's the thing is like johnny cage talks to art on the docks before they get on the boat yeah i don't think anybody else really talks to art but sonja is like no like this is mortal combat yeah what do you think was gonna happen when he fought that i've got a forearm it's like the guy who wore a freaking karate gear like a nerd yeah like a fucking nerd all right um so art dies and then uh uh johnny he's like i um i'm gonna fight goro and and he does and he fights goro and he says i have a plan yeah and it's a good one it's a good plan um kick him in the nuts yeah which so johnny does uh he you know does a split and then a punch right to the to the nuts which is a move in the video game the split punch the split punch right which um so he punches goro in the nuts um you know his eyes go cross he goes whoa i love his lower arms are holding his balls yeah while the upper arms are going like sort of up in the air like whoa real this these are artists it would have been i think maybe funnier if all four arms were grabbing the nuts but to show just how bad it hurt yeah yeah so just the puppet like goro's face of being like like literal like well i can't believe i just got and then uh johnny he's like how that really hurt my hand and then he runs off johnny's nuts are strong yeah he's got four nuts it's a big ball bag um runs away uh runs through like this little cave system and then gets the edge of a cliff and goro chases into this cliff and um really johnny kind of makes a quick workout he just kicks the ever loving shit out of him and sends him over the edge of the cliff of course he gets his you know his little guy in there yeah like in the beginning remember what i said this earlier yeah goro's hanging on by one hand he says this is the part where you fall bitch i feel like if you had four hands you can maybe get out of the situation right probably get one one of those hands f***ing on yeah spider crawl your way up right big strong arms like that big strong i got big strong goro's coming up in me four arms three goro on their testicles tears in their eyes they've been hitting the nuts he's won the tournament nine times nine times one more time that's all we need it's all we need and then we need one more and then we take over the round i'm gonna make it a big beautiful round um don't trump it's sort of the goro of uh the shanks on imagine him doing his little ymca dance with four arms oh boy people would f***ing love it yeah he grew another sort of arms just for us um so uh shank the flag with four arms shanks on um feeling the heat coming down his his boy goro just got iced but also um johnny yeah right this is where he's like all shanks on is like i challenge someone i'm gonna fight sonya yeah right he's like that's what he's like i i challenge sonya blade and right in his like you coward you can't fight a girl that's essentially the vibe yeah it's like you know you have to fight lu like dude that's don't f***ing like don't play around here but he's sort of like yeah if someone makes a deal with him though right like johnny he's like i want to fight goro next and then what he says i'm going like i challenge goro and everybody's like dude he's going to kill you and and he's like i don't care like i have a plan and whatever else and i think that's when radian is like oh they're finally learning or whatever yeah it's again it's all very loose every scene it feels like slightly independent of the rest of the scene you know it's just like i don't know what the motivations are but shanks on kynapsonia takes her to a more distant deeper bit of outworld off of the island into the the bad neighborhood it seems like it seems like the island is like some like nexus point yeah in between sure remember when sonya looks at her compass on a watch it's just spinning like crazy yeah whoa whoa whoa actual outworld it wants peaceful land once peaceful land has been destroyed yeah it looks like shit looks like hell razor world yeah go in the second one yeah yeah oh it looks bad looks really bad hell razor f***ing rips so when in the second one where that that lady she's got uh tits and no skin i'm glad i didn't see that at the young age i would have hated to have a negative association with no skin uh so lu and johnnie they go to outworld um they're walking through here they're like weird like guys sort of like running across the screen and shit it feels a little like escape from new york where there's just like sort of like weird f***ing people like just around you know like i don't know i have no context for this i don't know what these people are lu spots reptile he's yeah reptile is camouflage like in the bricks of a wall and he's like lu f***ing sees right through his f***ing clear chameleoness and he just he grabs him and then they fight and he's yeah so there was big like statues statues on the ground yeah but the chest cavity is open yes he throws reptile into one of these it closes around him we see these like little tendrils shoot out and grab reptile yes and then it transforms into reptile from the game right a guy in a green ninja suit yes so instead of the yellow of scorpion or the blue of sub-zero green reptile yes then they fight and he's crazy let me just say f***ing crazy style reptile this guy's loco um and he's he's relentless and lu is getting fresher he gets so many does his famous bicycle kick yes which is cool it is cool um also uh reptile's mask here is very bayoness very bayoness yeah you were get over here i was born in our world yeah get over here go over there go over there but finished him finished him yeah it's over already done um so they fight um lu does his bicycle kick thing great stuff doesn't make the noisy makes in the game where he's like yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah um and then the statue lands right bust open bugs everywhere reptile is like kind of the CG reptile is crawling out of the thing and then lu steps on him crushing him i guess um so then we get to like this is like the boss level now they get to the tower thing right um that whole like three challenges thing you think it's gonna be like levels that we're going through yeah it's presented as like uh indiana jones like there will be three riddles or puzzles that you'll have some tasks is what you think yeah none of that really instead uh johnny and lu kang they do the han and luke dress up like stormtroopers yeah just like monks yeah katana's there too katana's there too should do anything though um but they have what's her face uh so we played they were like this is when she's in her okay so it's more like when they dress up like the gomorin guards more yeah more like yeah more like when i'm gonna drop out of the world because she's in her slave outfit she is in a slave outfit she's got the arms like uh tied like uh king kang yeah style i guess he's gonna fight her while she's tied up yeah he's like this is sex right oh jeez um it's his culture listen this is his culture okay um now and then lu is like you and me buddy we got a fight and shank songs like we do have to fight but only after you fight like seven other guys my little bad guys my little bad guys and it's right those guys that we talked about it's like an old like a dead baller a baseball player yeah but it's like seven different slightly different martial arts guys um lu kang does the thing where a guy swings a blade at him he catches it between the same and that's gotta be so hard oh god oh my god a moment too early your hands get cut up a moment too late you're dead you're dead it's a risky move it is um so he fucking defeats all these guys pretty quick like blink and you miss it quick and then he has to fight shank song um and he does and um they what this is again this doesn't last very long either just fight real quick they fight real quick there are spikes that come up from the ground oh yeah oh yeah again we're just like checking all the imagery of the video game off yes they fight shank son ends up getting impaled on the spikes and he dies um and you see like his body just like disintegrate and into whatever a skeleton um lu has a moment where he sees the soul of his dead brother and he's like you're my boy very very similar to double dragon very similar to that yeah um no and then there everybody's like guys we did it high fives all around we fucking rule we beat Mortal Kombat we beat the game we beat the game game over baby and then the emperor appears in the sky and he says you know he's like you fools uh you know uh i will you know i will return the combat annihilation yeah i will defeat you and Raiden says something like i don't think so and then Raiden Sonia Lou Johnny and Katana in a line right all sort of drop back into their individual fighting stances and then it's like doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo more dog and then got to credits directed by Paul Anderson okay so that's what i miss that's what i mean that's it um so it's also like buddy counter resets it's gonna take you ten generations to even get close to this yeah my man what you don't look good luck um i know i haven't seen annihilation in a really long time but that i just remember that one being more of like we need to just add more characters more characters more fighting yeah the better movie yeah um the character of Raiden is recast probably smart um by uh James James Remar who i know that name you know this guy he's in the Warriors he's uh you know busy in the Warriors he's like um he's one of the Warriors um he's thanks not helpful i know he's in 48 hours um he says like he's one of the hours he's one of the little hours um he was originally in yeah you know the guy i know this guy i know this fucking guy come on come on it's James Remar it's James Remar he was originally cast as Hicks in Aliens um but he had such a bad drug problem that they had to fucking fire his ass and recast it with Michael Bean who also seems to have had a major drug problem in the humorous english fellow uh oh they also recast Sonya oh did i yes Sandra Hess please Sonya oh they got Hess um yeah and it's just kind of like whatever it's a worse movie we'll say um you said there was more fighting though there is more fighting um you get like jax is in it jax is in it uh smoke is in it we talked about all this already yeah we got all that shit um they kill off Johnny Cage immediately immediately like in the before it feels like before the opening credits are even done like in it picks up immediately after this movie you know what's funny about that is Johnny Cage also recast well yeah they recast they were like they killed him they're like we don't even want the new guy um so yeah it takes it picks up immediately after the this and i think like the emperor like makes a bunch of rocks fall down on Johnny and he gets killed in a rock slide yeah man slide down to the situation oh god um yeah baraka isn't it baraka okay i've got nothing to say nobody has anything to say finish him uh uh uh well flawless victory in the 20th of general election uh um what if that was finishing move that's his finishing move is a drone strike all right so that's mortal combat right i think it's like at the time 1995 you know few years after the video game is out like it's a pd13 movie it's four kids really i think it's like effective as like a bad video game turned into like a bad movie you know it captures the spirit of how bad the video game is well that's i mean that's sort of the thing with all of these video games is that they're like you know at least early on they're very slight it's just like it's one thing you know it's fighting or you know uh shooting or you know double dragon it's fighting you know like fighting guys who are shooting at you bros it's all the same kind of stuff so like making a movie out of it you have to like add in a bunch of shit and they don't always pick the right stuff to add right you're like i don't want a ton of back story here just make it like a more fun tournament right the the new movie is interesting because it it's well for once rated r so they can be more violent right they don't actually get to the tournament it's all sort of like what yeah it's like a waiting for gato yeah it's yeah it's waiting for goro my man my fucking doggy um for goro oh my god i'm i'm really happy yeah so the universe just lines up sometimes that's that's something that nobody's ever said i know that's a new one that's a new one maybe but it's uh it's uh the main character i forget the guy's name but he's also not a character from the game right so it's this sort of he has uh if i'm remembering it right all of these characters you have so many you have johnny cages in it he's gonna be in the sequel there is a sequel coming out either this year or next year but all the characters in it they have like a power right so like you know like a cano in the video game has like a laser eye right right so but like all of these people they have to achieve something like they have to reach some sort of thing and then they get the power and i know yeah yeah so the whole movie is them getting their it's an origin story for every character in Mortal Kombat kind of and then they like that everybody gets their you know designated power and then they're they're sort of dubbed once they do that then they can then they're eligible against for Mortal Kombat so it ends with them kind of going off to the tournament but there are a bunch of fights before that obviously they're gonna fuck it's Mortal Kombat right so like they go to different places they go to like different realms and fight guys and you know there's a bunch of characters that you see and they do moves and it's fun and stupid and whatever but it's there's no tournament i think the new movie is supposed to be like the tournament or whatever there's more of backstory for like sub-zero and scorpion where they're like uh can we split the difference and just have a little bit of backstory and just have it be at the tournament so like i think the backstory stuff is like totally inconsequential to anything i guess i don't mean backstory i just mean story yeah i know it is like it's all of these like sort of it's just like i don't know elaborate things to get people in certain situations right elaborate set up certain situations where perhaps they'll combat one another exactly um mortally and mortally um and combat starts out again i forget the guy's name one of the characters has like the hat with the blades on it right yeah and he's in the movie he definitely throws that hat right isn't that means is it isn't the peaky blinders oh yeah yeah it's the razor blades in their hat or so oh i keep my ways blaggy more you know why they call me peaky blinders because there's razor blades right in me i in me i in me yeah therefore peaky blinders in it oh okay british people man i remember i think i think the i think the movie is kind of fun you know it's like a little bit more fun than this oh i think the violence sort of just makes it sillier and more fun to watch yeah um but whatever um but this movie this movie yeah so you have to rate it out of five on letterbox.com slash kingney god do you have the letterbox up yeah excellent um take it in on my phone what i would give this movie three stars what would you give it Dan one two what do you get what do you think yeah like one and a half stars really yeah it's not good you think it's worse than double dragon yeah probably okay it's like well it's on par all right i'll say two gentlemen's two gentlemen's two because it's like it's really not good and you take goro out it's like this long boring movie i've ever seen in my life but if you take goro out of anything you got the most boring shit ever had i miss him i miss him so much much um i'll we could go with two stars i think that's fine would you give it the coveted like i wouldn't yeah i you know how i feel about the like button i see no point um and i see no point hitting the like button for this i don't know this is no exception i think you know there are movies from my childhood that i will like every once in a while rewatch i don't think this is gonna be one of them no this is no no like they're bad movies from my childhood that i'm like this is still fun and i like it i wouldn't sit down sit someone down and watch it like oh this is like a fun campy well you know what to is like you have blood sport the van dam movie which is essentially the same thing where they're like they're it's called the kumite where all of these fighters from around the world gather for a tournament and it's all different kinds of martial art styles and you know van dam's doing his like crazy sort of like he's fully coking down and whatever else and it's a lot of fun to watch this is not this has like a guy that shoots ice out of his fucking hand and like a guy with a spear coming out of his hand and it's not as fun i think the most fun part of the movie or when people are like yeah shadow fuck shadowboxing or whatever like right well like getting ready to find like oh that looks cool that looks cool that looks like something cool is about to happen right but then nothing really cool happens also when reptile shows up i'm like that guy's crazy yeah that guy's a little psycho this like more combat should only be fun and this is like only kind of dumb yeah um so i'll give it two stars two stars two stars and what would you say about it even um that's a good question uh two stars one star for every two goro arms for every pair of goro every two arms that goro has uh yeah i'm calling it that's a that's the review that's it well yeah that's fine okay finish it the review nice so all right um we haven't picked out a movie no there's so many ways we could go with this and there's this much like the island that they fight on is sort of like a nexus point between worlds yes so too does moral combat like it there's so many ways we could go with the bonus episode this week of course we don't want to burn a highlander no he should have been in the tournament highlander kind of was that's the other thing Raiden doesn't even fight yeah in his annihilation he does fight when he's James Remar he fights good good he also gets a haircut he has long like white hair in that he has like uh i think it's high tight yeah yeah yeah it's the military yeah um yeah his parents sent him to military school second movie um but yes okay we don't know what we're doing it's gonna be a surprise to you it's gonna be a surprise to us hopefully rob and i watch the same movie yeah maybe that's what we do we don't talk about it and we just figure out if we watch the same yeah i mean we i said it's hard because like i don't want to watch like the only chris verley and bear movie worth watching is highlander right um i don't want to watch billy medicine i don't want to watch billy medicine either because i feel like that's burning a so like what would you even say about be like what's it's funny when normich annald's there yeah i would be doing the chris verley s&l bit about chris verley in the movie i would just be going oh did you hear him say chalamae at the golden glo hi chalama chalama he did do it like that he did it yeah niki glazer hosted the golden glo it was like tim shellman your name sounds like something oh i'm saying and she's like sandlers here right can you just do one yeah i think they're like you hear the like the microphone gain like yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah very satisfying that's good yeah what a good sport um the kind of rules i think yeah i think you might you might it's good not to know too much about it's it's really good not to i'm sure they're bad i'm sure they're quite bad but uh but i really appreciate him not telling anybody yeah like just keeping them to himself you know people used to be able to just keep it to themselves and i'd like to them more for that knowing your place is just a guy who got insanely lucky yeah and no one should care what you have to say yeah yeah um yeah so we'll do billy medicine yeah like so and there really aren't a lot of bridging wilson movies uh linden ashby what were we even talking about there we can watch a hell ashby movie yeah we go that'd be good it's father no it's not okay i think um i was thinking we could watch another uh paul anerson movie paul ws anaxow yeah but yeah we're already doing he's so already overrepresented in this series that was the i mean that is a what is oh my god oh no he doesn't do it no sorry sorry sorry i get to start well it's all it was all we do this on our own yeah yeah we can figure it out but um yeah that's i mean that's it that's more combat okay so next week oh on the main feed on the main feed right because that's what we're doing so we did more comment next week is 2001's final fantasy the spirits within yeah i've never seen it um i hope you like video game cutscenes because this is the world's longest one yeah i i think i saw this in theory i was like so i never played a final fantasy that i was just gonna say i'm not a final fantasy either i remember getting one and learning that it was like turn-based combat and i was like i'm so out on this i'm way too attention deficit me too 100 it's the same like i remember seeing commercials for final fantasy and thinking it looked awesome yeah and then i would get the game and it didn't look like that no it looked like like an eight-bit or 16-bit like video game like a zelda or something right right the cutscenes do look good yes they do they always do like a really good job with the cutscenes and then the gameplay itself is just like it's a fart right and total turn and it uh one of the things for me is like not knowing the lore behind all of it and there being like a million versions a million different right a dis you know i really yeah they're like there's several like final fantasy like one through a hundred but then there's also like oh in this country it's part two in our country it's part five like all of that kind of stuff i i don't know if it's the ADHD or what but i i want no part of it it's too sloppy and i can't you know get get your ducks in a row and then come talk to me you know well as i understand that this movie is like nothing to do with the great the series the game series apart from the name um a lot of heavy hitters in this cast i think uh yeah Baldwin the murderer the man slaughter uh he's a man slaughtering folks was he acquitted though well legally should we not call him the it was dismissed because of a mishandling of evidence oh interesting isn't it?

who's shemmy's in this too so that's oh that's fun yeah so we'll be doing that next week and until then game over game what was our uh where we say we're gonna end with like finish wasn't it just game over game over