Mourning Your Old Life — When the Person You Lost Was You

There is a kind of grief that nobody talks about — the grief of losing yourself. Not to death, but to a single moment that splits your life into before and after. For Kristen Toepfer, that moment was September 11th, 2018. And the person she had to mourn was herself.In this deeply personal episode, Kristen takes us back to who she was before the stroke — a nightshift industrial engineer at UPS with nearly 20 years on the job, a model traveling to LA and Nashville for photo shoots, walking New York Fashion Week and loving every second of it. She was fast-paced, on the go, and never once thought a stroke could happen to her at 36 years old. Then it did.Kristen opens up about what it felt like to wake up from a coma and slowly realize that the life she had built — the career, the independence, the ability to simply put her hair up or do her own makeup — was gone. She talks about the years she lost to not even knowing what was happening, the anger she felt at her past self for pushing through warning signs and smoking cigarettes, and the pity parties she admits she had along the way before learning to pull herself back out.But this episode is not just about loss. It is about what happens when you stop asking why me and start looking for what is still there. Kristen talks about the moment she found her new purpose — becoming a stroke and aphasia advocate — and how helping others gave the new Kristen a reason to keep going that the old Kristen never had. She is stronger now. More grateful. She doesn’t judge anymore. She notices birds and sunlight and simple things she would have blown right past before.She also shares what gets her through the hardest days — group therapy, her husband John’s hugs, and the daily practice of finding something to be grateful for before she even gets out of bed.And yes — the Amazon $2 story makes another appearance.If you have ever had to grieve a version of yourself, this episode will hit home.Subscribe, share, and follow Kristen’s journey at kristentoepfer.comJoin Kristen and cohost Billy Montana for monthly episodes filled with advocacy, education, and inspiring conversations.Together, let's raise awareness for stroke and aphasia and support each other on the journey to recovery.http://kristentoepfer.com