...move along.

When my college reunion was announced, I began writing a poem. I missed the physical event due to the complications of our car being filled with water, but I finished the poem anyway. That’s what this is.A while agoAn age agoI left a Universityfilled with a stomach full of hope and half a head of let's just seehaving traded anecdotes and studied some and kissed some folks and sung a bit and played guitar I looked ahead (well, not too far)I broke a pipe and launched a hatand made no further plans save that I’d(while respecting social norm)not necessarily conformto labels, roles and shapes expectedby society’s architects.So if, in future situations,I was challenged by a nationwith a cruel acquired tastefor broken souls who knew their placeI promised to state(nay, I swore)“I’m not the droid you’re looking for”I didn’t think I’d say it much except job interviews and such where queries for positions billed concerned mere roles they wanted filled instead of work they needed done.(Which is a shame. I find work fun.)But much of what I’d hoped was lasting ended up as central casting.Some dates judged less on connection than a template of affection,then appeared somewhat annoyed when I explained“I’m not the droid you’re…”Looking for a fantasy projected?Status quo protected? Low risk liability and servile safe utility?Well, I’m not offering resistanceto this templated existencehonestly,what seems defiance to traditional complianceisn’t. It’s a never-endinglack of skillin bad pretending.A true momentis combiningthoughtsor energies aligningat long tablesin small bedswhispered softlyloudly saidI’ve found myself reflected best in timeswhen ego acquiesced to harmony with people whocombined to create ever-new ideas and possibilities.That’s what I learned in college.Easy? No; the path from there to here has been uncharted,vague, unclearchaotic, dangerous, disjointedbut I’ve not been disappointedwhat I’ve lacked, I’ve never neededserial failed ’til I succeededlong endured with low complaintgotten what I’ve given.Ain’t itfunny all the effort spent towardstrengthening a “permanent record”when no one’s checked my attendance,or my grade point average?If there is one thingthat I’ve protected it’s no image I’ve projectedbut my choice to go through wallswhen the world presents long hallways filled with nothing but locked doors.I’m not the droid you’re looking for.I hope you find the perfect model of your new automaton.I’ll just go about my businessand then quietlymove along.[ 29 May 2023] Get full access to :lowerblackpain at lowerblackpain.substack.com/subscribe