what you do when a very young person comes into your studio and starts pushing buttons all over your audio interface. You have patience. You have lots and lots of patience. All right, we have some important stuff to talk about today.
Not the least of which is patience. Two people that I know, two more people that I know have recently passed away have recently croaked as they say. I speak of it this way. I just, you know, eventually I'm going to croak.
You know, I'm not getting any younger. I got more years behind me than I do in front of me. But yeah, how do we move forward after that? Well, we're going to talk about that today.
That was weird. Oh, shit. Fuck. You know, when I say people come in here and start pushing buttons, they came in here and started pushing buttons.
And instead of my opening music, I got right, so I had to go and push more buttons backwards. All right, this is going to be a fun podcast. Am I going to take the really bad word out that I said, just, you know, when that all happened? I said a really bad word.
And I'm just trying to determine if I'm going to take it out. I don't know. I don't know. All right, people have been just disappearing on me.
People from my past. Now, this has been going on. This is nothing new. In April, my brother died.
And you know, that is still hard. That is, that is still hard. I had a girlfriend that I was in a five year relationship with. She died in March, hadn't talked to her in gosh, seven or eight years, but still she died and hard, really hard.
And I was asked, I was just asked at a little event that I was at, you know, you're Mr. Grateful Guy. Yeah, right? I'm Mr.
Grateful Guy. And you know, what do you do? How do you deal? I don't know.
I don't know. Okay. So I guess I do know, even though I feel as though I don't know, am I making any sense, any sense whatsoever at all? Am I going to leave the bad word in?
I'm still thinking about that. I'm positively thinking about that because I want to be my authentic self. But anyway, children are never allowed in the studio again, ever that that I will say that that that I will say. But what do you do when you are confronted with loss?
Well, if you're in my studio, you can see a little baby tiny urn right there sitting I'm looking at it. It's my brother. It's a little tiny bit of my brother that I'm going to go up to my sister's grave. And you know, this is I don't know if this is legal.
I have no idea if this I'm going to do it anyway. I'm going to take a little hand troll and I'm going to dig a little tiny trench next to her headstone. And I'm going to pour that in there. And then I'm going to cover it up.
And my children have instructions from me that when I croak that they do the same thing with me, they go up and they pay the and by the way, my nephew gave me this really nice metal miniature urn that my brother is in. I don't know what he paid for it, you know, but still, you know what I'm going to do with that? I'm going to take that and I'm going to throw it off the Dunedin Beach Causeway into the ocean. I'm going to take the top off of it out, throw that in.
I'm going to throw that in and then send that whatever microscopic bit of him is left in there. We'll wind up in the ocean because what do you do with an urn? I'm not going to throw it away, you know, into a garbage can. I'm going to respectfully throw it into the ocean.
I guess that's what I'm going to do. But anyway, getting back to the question at hand, how do we move forward? How do we move forward after loss? And again, I don't know.
But one of the things that I think you have to do is you have to feel your feelings. Okay, you have to allow yourself to experience that pain. You've got to lean into it and do it. You just have to.
And you're, you need to, yeah, this one's a hard one for me, but you need to seek support. You need to have friends that you can talk to. I have basically, I have friends, but I'm trying to think, who can I talk to? I guess I'm talking to you because I really can't talk to my kids about this because I don't want to burden my children with the grief that I feel from loss.
I just don't. Take care of yourself. Yeah, I got to do that. I've got to and I am.
I am. I am taking much better care of myself. I need to exercise more and I'm working on that. And then the other thing that I do and I do it, I do it, is I honor the memory of those that I have lost.
And I do that in weird ways and I'm not going to share them with you, but it's just because we're all different. And what is weird to you might not be weird to me and what's weird to me, but I, it's what I do. Healing is a journey. It's not a destination.
All right. What did I, a quote from Steve Jobs, from Steve Jobs. The journey is the reward and healing is a journey. So I guess that is going to be the reward.
And then I'm going to try and find meaning, try and find a purpose in the face of the loss. That that is what we can do. That is what we can all. Why are people asking me advice on this?
I don't know why people are asking me advice on this. One of the things that I have gotten good at is embracing change. I have friends. Oh my God, they don't even freaking want to hear about change.
They want nothing. I have a dear friend. I love her dearly. I love her husband dearly.
She will take a tell. They had a big screen TV. You know, the old fashioned one with the little projector, the big old, old, big giant box thing, had to weigh 500 pounds. It sat in their house in the tube, whatever is in there, started dying.
And you got to where you were just seeing outlines and shadows. And I said, it's time to buy a new TV. I don't want to change because the new TVs are all skinny and they're, yeah. Finally, the thing died.
And she had an emotional breakdown having to replace that television. And I guess that some people need to look for professional help. I have not done that. And, you know, I'd expect, well, I take that back when my mom passed away.
And this is, you know, been a while. This was 2005. I was a absolute mess. And I finally went to my doctor because functioning, I could go to work and I could function.
You know, but then as soon as no one is around, I was just totally falling apart. I couldn't drive across the causeway. I mean, it was bad. And I was, I, he said, you have something called situational depression.
We're going to put you on something and it's going to make you better. And then we're going to take you off of it. And so he put me on something and I'm going to tell you all a little secret. I'm going to tell you all a teeny, tiny secret that I've told no one.
If my wife at the time knew what I was about to tell you at that time, she would have had a thrombo. I got the medication. I never took it. I never took the three months worth of medication that I was supposed to take for my situational depression.
Instead, I concentrated on deep breathing and coming up with rituals and things like that. But I think the most important thing that we can do is we can embrace gratitude, because that's what this is. I mean, this is the daily grateful. And that's what we do.
We're going to be cultivating gratitude for the time we spent with that person or that thing that we lost. And we're going to welcome and support the love that we receive from others because they know we're going through some shit. I'm leaving that bad word in for sure. I'm leaving that one in.
I don't know about the first one yet. I'm still thinking about that. If I do that, I'm going to have to do something different with my hosting company. I'm going to have to tell them that I said a bad word.
I've never had to do that before. The other thing we do is we embrace the future. And that's what I'm doing. I'm embracing the future.
I love you all very much. We'll see you tomorrow.