Much Ado About Mischief at Chateaugay Lake

[INTRO MUSIC: Haunting yet playful, a mix of eerie water drips and ragtime banjo, punctuated by the distant chuff of a steamboat.]NARRATOR (in rich, formal cadence):Welcome, intrepid listener, toThe Mirthful Menace, where the waters of Upper Chateaugay Lake ripple with mischief, and laughter echoes unsettlingly across the pines. Here, we present the curious case of a cryptid so perplexing that it has confounded loggers, rattled philosophers, and scandalized steamboat pirates.But first—a caution: This broadcast contains accounts of spectral pranksters, accordion-related tragedies, and the reckless abuse of breakfast meats. Those of a delicate constitution may wish to retreat to calmer waters. The rest of you—skeptics, believers, and those simply lured by the prospect of an amphibian with impeccable rhythm—are advised to proceed with a paddle at the ready.Steel your nerves. Steady your ham. And prepare for a tale both inexplicable and inevitable.This isThe Mirthful Menace.[MUSIC SWELLS: A discordant honk of a stolen accordion, followed by a splash.]