My anger built up against non-indigenous men, a colonial construct that created gender apartheid.

The following episode is a debriefing on the emotional impact seeing Nathan Chasing horse and the survivors of his abusive behavior bearing witness to his guilt.As I have mentioned, having cohorts, allies is vitally important. It takes courage to stand up to the challenge of holding space and bearing witness to the injustice done towards Indigenous girls and indigenous women.My message to my Cohort, my ally:It was one thing you &Rose saw me. You both saw what I did & the effort I put into exposing Nathan Chasing Horse. You both thought I was a good person, but I didn’t really understand. You both validated me; however, it took my people (the people whohoped I influence within my blog) for me to see myself. You were inside the courtroom when they all came up to me shaking my hand & hugging me in gratitude. All these years I didn’t realize the influence I had on all of them.This experience will last me for the rest of my life. My efforts to safe Roberta saved others. Roberta’s life meant something. It’s a self fulfilling forgiveness of self. I’m at peace knowing I did everything humanly possible inan impossible position.  At the courthouse I thoughtI’d met angry women like Mel.. R.., but recieved the opposite. This was what it was like to be in Roberta’s presence. Nathan & my brother did unforgivable acts to Roberta. You bore Witness by being present. My niece is dead while Nathan rots in prison. If Rose had come with you, the experience would not have been the same—and it would not have been as fulfilling for me. I came to complete myexperience, with you present as a witness—not as a protector. Your role was to bear witness and support, not to intervene or redirect. That distinction mattered deeply. Ronna would have pulled me away from what I needed toexperience, particularly finding closure with Lynette and others.Ronna crossed a boundarywith me by being invasive—especially when she said, “you’re at peace.” That wasnot hers to name. You had nothing you needed to be at peace with. Thatstatement took something away from the experience rather than honoring it.You showed up with intentionand effort. She did not. I feel that she is trying to claim an experience shedid not fully participate in, and without recognizing her own inaction. Foryou, this was not curiosity—it was commitment. For her, it remained observational.What mattered most was thewillingness to sit in discomfort. You did that. You placed yourself in anuncomfortable position, one that was not easy and not familiar. You decolonizedyourself by staying present, even when it wasn’t comfortable for either of us.I did the same. That shared discomfort was essential.Ronna missed that entirely.Instead, she remained outside of it, becoming a voyeur rather than aparticipant. What she took from me was not balanced by what she gave back, andI don’t believe she is aware of that.Inever expected this to happen, but it’s important for me to name it clearly.Effort matters. Presence matters. And witnessing requires participation, notinterpretation.