My Childhood Sexual Abuse

I was sexually abused as a child and it still impacts me at almost 60 years old. It took me a long time to be able to tell this story and to look back at the psychological impact that these terrible experiences had on me. It was a confusing time where I lost so much of myself, but telling this story has been cathartic. If you need help there are resources below.    Key Takeaways:    [2:45] My mom was a stay at home mother and my dad worked a lot  [4:20] First instance of sexual abuse   [6:46] It happening again and feeling terrible for not saying anything  [9:40] First physical incident and the fear it created in me  [14:28] Being abused constantly in 5th grade [18:04] Setting fire to my clothing  [19:07] My social life began to tank in 5th grade   [21:30] Being aware of my sexuality   [23:35] Being abused again, but having a better understanding  [25:07] Going to the ER for asthma and feeling safe in the hospital  [26:32] Being abused in 6th grade and hypervigilance  [28:59] Having to get my siblings ready in the morning [31:08] Beginning to understand the full scope of sexual abuse  [33:16] The last abuse attempt and telling my mom  [35:23] Looking back on the psychological changes in me  [37:41] Family history of abuse and generational trauma     [39:41] Struggling with sleeping with a lot of people in my early twenties  [42:54] Isolating myself, depression, and exhaustion   [45:14] Reexperiencing trauma and hypervigilance  [47:14] Parental support helped save me  [47:44] My response to sexual abuse  [50:41] How being abused affected my parenting  [52:33] Getting very sick in the hospital and not eating  [53:59] The good and the bad in my life  [56:18] Releasing these words is cathartic to me  [57:14] Victims are not at fault for being assaulted  [57:39] Losing parts of myself, but continuing to push forward   Resources:   Twister Movie National Sexual Abuse Hotline National Domestic Abuse Hotline Helping Survivors Connect with Barb:   Website   Facebook    Instagram   YouTube   The Molly B Foundation