My fear of loss: Listener question

Happy New Year! I'm so delighted to be in your membership again for another year. You truly transformed my experience of life last year for which I'm most grateful.There appears to be immense confusion again here so I'm hoping you can address it in a podcast.I'm loving the life circles course so far and I have identified quite a few of these! No surprise!One that is particularly confusing for me is around my husband.After a call with my coach last week I realised that I have a huge fear of separation from my husband; of repeating the loss that happened to me as a child when my father left. You might think therefore that with this programme I'd do everything in my power to make sure he loved me or I would be controlling of what he does and where he goes. However what I notice is almost the opposite. I get annoyed with him being so lovely to me (?!?), find him 'too needy' and have regular thoughts of whether I'm with the 'right man' - despite loving being with him. All of this creates an internal separation - it's as if there is a subconscious programme to keep him at bay.I know from working with you to sit with the feelings and not try to escape them but nothing seems to shift. Perhaps that's because I'm so desperate to see something here!?I'd love to hear you talk to this...Thank you so much for your incredible work.