My Past, My History (TRANSCRIPT AVAILABLE)

In this episode, I will be discussing my history with the topic my inquiry questions. I have a crazy past with this topic and I am excited to share my story in this episode and explore the topic further in future episodes. Thank you for listening! Also, if you are interested, the YouTube video I discuss in this video is linked below. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9tbwmIBTTtk TRANSCRIPT: Hey, everybody, so I'm not really sure how many people listen to this, this episode is kind of vulnerable for me. Let's get into this- back with another episode, and using this as my EIP Composition 1. I chose a Podcast because I would rather talk about it than write an essay. I like writing- um I guess I am kind of nervous and saying um a lot. But, it is hard for me to not keep up walls- I am the type of person who does not like to be vulnerable- it is how I have always been. I like to be closed off- I feel in control. Being vulnerable in this episode is kind of difficult and a challenge. The only people that know of this would be my friends and family- talking about it helps myself and others be more comfortable with being open. My EIP questions relate to disordered eating, nutrition, dietetics, eating disorders, the gym, etc. This podcast is regarding my past with this topic to establish relevance. I have never really gotten to write about this academically, but have written something about this before, which I will discuss later on. Writing has always come easily to me and I enjoy using vocabulary to get my point across. The first thing I want to discuss is the background- when I was five, I was diagnosed with OCD. OCD is more than organization- it is a voice in your head that tries to control your life and convinces you something horrible will happen if you do not listen to it. It makes everything more difficult and my voice grabs onto food. I am a perfectionist, especially when it comes to food. My OCD grabbed onto food my sophomore year of high school after a blindsided breakup and I felt the need to control something in my life. This need soon turned into complete, full-blown, OCD obsession. I started eating eight hundred calories a day and that's it- which soon turned into seven hundred, then six hundred, then five hundred. At this point it had been six or seven months, and I had to stop cheerleading, stopped all exercise, could barely walk, was severely underweight, had bradycardia (irregularly slow heartbeat)- was very sick and was dying. I could have gone into cardiac arrest at any moment. My hair was falling out, I was pale, I was freezing all of the time- I almost had to go into inpatient treatment and withdraw from school. However, my family helped me start seeing a nutritionist and a therapist who helped me through beginning recovery. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, the fight this requires is every single day and it is beyond belief. Eating disorders can seem like a joke and get thrown around a lot, but they are very serious. It is another voice in your head controlling your life and screaming at you if you eat or do something it does not want you to. Overcoming this was quite the challenge- but it is a choice and a battle every single day. When I was actively going through recovery, I was attending a youth group at my church. The church was looking for youth to submit their testimonies and stories to make a video of and publish it online. My group leader encouraged me to submit my story, and it actually got chosen out of thousands. I did make the film, and it was published and shown to thousands of people. It was pretty cool, but Ade me be vulnerable. It is cool to reflect on it and see where my life and writing are at now. I hope someone else will benefit from my vulnerability. I love to reflect on how I communicated this story- I feel this is relevant because it establishes my background regarding this topic and shows why this topic is so important to me.