My reflections on sex, intimacy and what recovery really means following episode 3

What if the pressure was off getting back to how things were and instead there was a curiosity to discover something you didn't know before?In this short solo reflection, Dr Sula Windgassen sits with what stayed with her from the conversation with psychosexual therapists Kate Moyle and Lorraine Grover in The Dark Place Between My Legs, an episode about what happens to sex and intimacy when your body changes.The concept that wouldn't leave her: recovery and discovery. The idea that when illness or physical disruption changes your sex life, the instinct is almost always to try to get back to how things were. But the assumption that before was the gold standard can quietly close off something more interesting. What if before there were issues you’d not registered? And what if turning towards this difficulty, rather than away from it, opened up a richer experience than you'd had before?Sula also unpacks the distinction Kate made between sex and intimacy - two things we often treat as interchangeable, but which are not the same. When that difference gets blurred, losing one can mean losing both. Understanding the gap between them might be exactly where things start to shift.There's also a reflection on something almost every clinician listening will recognise - how uncomfortable the medical setting makes it to ask about sex. And what it costs patients when no one does.This episode ends with two quiet invitations: curiosity about your own assumptions, and a broader exploration of what intimacy actually means to you.Honest. Warm. Worth fifteen minutes of your time.🎧 Full episode - The Dark Place Between My Legs: Sex, Intimacy and What No One Tells You.This episode is supported by Convatec and the me+ Emotional Wellbeing Programme — a free holistic support programme for intermittent catheter users.Visit www.howwereallyfeel.com/in-partnership-with-convatec