My Soul Will Always Be Fat | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

hundred percent welcome to another episode two bears one cave we're here in Bert's lair it's been a minute dude how you how you feeling week why are you feeling weak some skin now and there's what can people feel like this is legal yeah powerful how are you so skinny what happened natural not using any drugs it's good it's just self-discipline you know I got a five in the morning and I go to the gym and then I barely sleep at night I do cold plunge I do a aromatherapy I do red light therapy awesome you know I get my vitamin D I say my gratitude I journal wow yeah all this stuff and I go right back to bed yeah no I'm so fucking tired of this health bit movement I just gave up on my jar yeah and it's been how long I just took my fourth shot Sunday and so in a month how much are you down 25 pounds that's pretty ridiculous man it's yeah it's I tell you I don't know I don't know if I would I would recommend it if it's a healthy I would you need to for your health benefits yeah so I sent you my you're Texas can my Texas can and it was I went to the doctor and I said my cardiologist and I have to work it for ways well and my doctor was like you went in pretty heavy like this is the heaviest you've been and I was like I think I was 275 last time he's like with you 74 and 275 the same pretty much yeah he made you made the point to say I'm only two 74 and then I told him you know I'm really strong so I don't know if you know this but muscle weighs more than fat you told your cardiologist this and he was like wow how much muscles are there I said I bench 325 this year and he was like really and then he just said casually I basically fit 315 in med school and I was like shut the fuck what are we doing why are you big time of me did yeah and then he said you know we have a machine to tell you exactly how much muscles in there and I'd love for you to do it and fucking Leanne was in there she's like book it book it I'll take him right now and so they took me and I didn't really totally fit on the Texas can machine like my arms are falling off it I couldn't get him close to me so I had to hold my arms tight and they did my deck scanning it was like I sent it to you I forget what my numbers were yeah but it was like 45% fat it was yeah I mean I don't think it was that high but it was it was hang on I'll tell you exactly I just texted it to you yeah I had it but it was 45% fat I think it was ridiculous it was like 40% fat at least but he said there was 90 pounds of fat sitting in my stomach yeah yeah that's your danger area so that's so do you so you are doing it for health reasons right like he told me you're not diabetic you're not pre-diabetic you know you're all your numbers are fine even my liver numbers are fine everything's fine he's like but having said that I think you need this to get rid of that visceral fat he was visceral fat the killer and he's like you know I'm looking at your liver I'm mammogramming it or some gramming it and he goes I'm supposed to see a line right here if I can't there's so much fat and he was like and he was like you need to lose that and so I said well I don't want to do it I don't want to because you know there's I don't know what the fuck but everyone's turned it I'm sure we get tons of comments going cheater whatever whatever they want to say about it that's how I felt yeah people used those epic I was like why didn't you just put in the work why didn't you just find self-control why didn't you do I always said that I did say that and then I saw any shimers pictures I was like holy shit looks like I'm amazing and the doctor said I can give this to you and you can take it or I'll see you in three months and you'll be 300 pounds and I was like okay and I came back and I was like and then one night I was just like fuck it I give up I give up I'm gonna do it and I did it oh two days later I'm in airport and I can't everything's disgusting I mean I can't look at food I can't I'm like I can't even have a drink I'm not gonna play the boss and I can't have a drink the people at private suite that take care of me all the time they're like they're like dude what's up and I was like I'm on that my gyro and they're like I don't like you like this and I just started violently throwing up for you did seven seven to ten minutes on the phone with me and I called the answer and I'm meeting about the thing we got coming up May yeah and she was on a phone call and I'm just in the bathroom and I mean it's like it's really weird I can't eat I don't want to eat and never want to eat like food I have no interest in food so it's working so it's working incredible and I panic like I benched 275 three times the other day so I'm like trying to make sure my strength up but I just don't like I don't know it it it pulls away so much of what I think may have been defining characteristic of me yeah yeah impulse and access and access I love yeah I love I love going getting three meals at a restaurant I've seen it it's pretty wild yeah it's insane so now you just ordered one meal like a crazy person I it's bizarre yeah I just go in and they go do you want appetizers and I'm like no and they're like okay like we can't get to drink and I was like I always try to get a drink I can like I can't drink you can't drink I can drink but it's not it's not like it was like it's the same I did I'm almost like I tried drinking an airport the other day and I was like well how long will you stay on it is there like an end goal or something like how will you dictate what they're not until I'm unrelated so you're gonna try to go all the way fucking 186 pounds hey you won't recognize me it's great you know I just I don't know I guess you're supposed to stay on it I have been farting so much we got we caught one right before we recorded in the mic here but I've been farting like crazy and I think it's like so I've been eating four meals a day that's the right and it's all portioned out right so hit these like macros and I'm eating 200 grams of protein which isn't that crazy but you still have to like you have someone making these meals for you yes yeah I'd like to get to that well that so it's great and it does feel like a chore I have to tell you like I don't know I just realized that I wouldn't if I didn't have it like as a plan I wouldn't be eating this first meal then I work out and then I have a meal afterwards then I have another meal and I have I wouldn't eat like I would eat I would be eating less food but probably my macros would be all off but the farts are like it's unbelievable and I have to imagine that their protein based farts right they're just so long so powerful I'm so proud of them but I just don't know if if I can sustain this level of farting forever they're the real I mean you heard that yeah yeah it was really aggressive that's how they are all day my son like fireworks our farts have a sweet cherry tent to them really they're nice I like them you do like my jar of shits are pretty fucking awesome are they splattery or like oh they come out like crude oil just really cool like you just like you shoot at a deer and you missed it yeah hit a spot it just goes yeah yeah the shits are pretty nice yeah I got it's nice to be a person that doesn't that no one watches eat it used to just be a spectacle like this fucking guy I'm not gonna tell this in the special now but my niece was in the house I'm in Hawaii yeah she'll talk over why you so fat I was like Jesus I was just fun to find out your autistic well how long ago was that just a month months ago my voice like a couple weeks ago to go where's fat sticks and I was like oh he's he's in LA they're like we haven't seen him in a long time like yeah no he's still there they're like we want to see fat sticks I'm like okay I'll tell him well I'm gonna see him soon I'm still fat yeah otherwise I'm gonna be like I don't know this guy someone asked me I had a meeting the other day and this guy goes hey can I can I get fat astronauts and I was like what for he doesn't want to make it with you and Tom I was like I think that ship sale but he was like you guys wouldn't do it I was like no I was like Tom's on an 86 pounds and I'm a manjaro I think I'm gonna have to be just old astronauts yeah it's old astronauts we pivoted to just geriatric astronauts by the way if you want to get fat you have to come visit oh stop stop stop I'm dying to hear about this fucking pastry shop bro it's unbelievable I mean it is because I'm I have lost a lot of weight but I am I am I am and will ever ever will be fat my soul is fat it doesn't matter how much I weigh I'm always gonna be fat and my my always my weakest point was always pastries so it's like it is like my fat dream coming true hold on I have two questions I have two questions okay yeah number one and play the video what when did this tux shirt thing happened nice you saw something you're shirt in all the time no it's this day I went on there no it's at the two bears 5k well in Tampa you talk oh I got a lot of shit for that too yeah I know what is this tucked thing in thing is it I don't know I mean I just feel like I'm gonna start embracing it doing it more now that people are pointing it out I'm gonna do it all the time it's so off but it literally looks like they go Tom can you put this shirt on and you go on and they go and tuck it in please go yes sir well you know what I'm gonna do I'm gonna talk everything now I'm gonna talk everything I'm gonna do your shirt on your special no but I'm gonna ask him to do it in post yeah I want it I want it so we tell me okay tell me beginning dad I'm sitting with my dad my dad by the way recently just fell in love with Charles oh my god he my mom and my dad they're like have you ever seen Tom stand up and I went yeah and they go he is fucking hysterical they go but he's got this joke where he gives his mom too much jettables burn it is the funniest that he's so good it they go on you and Pete Davidson 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everything in between so they send them to the office and I go all right I'm gonna try them on I try them on they're ultra soft made with ultra soft baby I'll pack a fiber and it is literally as I put them on I said how is this legal this is insane thermo regulating warm below freezing comfortable when it warms up three times warmer than wool without the bulking and that's the part I like I am I can't have a bulking sock moisture managing feet stay dry all day long I put these on and I put on my hey dudes in them with them and I thought I was watching walking on sunshine these are durable no-hitch knit built for daily wear in real boots or just desk socks and I'm telling you they are warm as shit they are so frickin warm I the first ones I put on these no-show socks and I was just walking around barefoot on my house with these on oh my god they are awesome for a limited time hollow socks is having a buy to get to free sale head to hollowsocks.com today to check it out that's hollowsocks.com for up to 50% off your order a few parts just they're gonna ask where did you hear about them please report the show and tell them that we sent you he likes the capital one ads is that peak guy man he's likable you know his dad died in line 11 yeah you know he dated Kim Kardashian you know he has dad's all over and he's getting removed he was alive and I went ferry he go yeah I love this guy go do you like a stand-up he goes he does stand-up to I go yeah what do you know she capital one capital one and like and interviews he goes he's great on set Myers yeah he he's like the funny people like straddles he's a comic but he's also like a legit celebrity so he does like celebrity stuff too like he's very seamless to what's that yeah very seamlessly yeah so my dad says he goes he goes buddy what's up with Tom and fucking pastries bro there's I just went I just went and I was there yesterday and it was just like it it's a dream so what it is I just literally imagine if you walked into your favorite I don't know burger shop somewhere and then you're like hey will you come make them in my neighborhood and the people say how did it start how did it started in it started in LA five years ago six years ago where they had a pastry like bakery in LA that um somebody tipped me off to like oh do you like I was talking about croissants they go best croissant LA and I go where and they said this place Chinquetera West so I went and it legit was like amazing it was amazing and then I just formed a friendship with Jamba and Marlow they own it and he's the baker and she's his you know wife and business partner and so that's that right there and then I just kept in touch with them and I always said I wish you would do this in Austin and basically long story short they said let's do it and so we're building a restaurant right now like it's under construction right now but we have a pop-up shop which is the one you've been seeing online and that's at the Fairground Food Hall in downtown Austin right under the Wells Fargo building and dude it's I mean it's fresh baked homemade every day everything the croissants the focaccia everything is and it's and like they came up with new things the lat when I was there yesterday that was just unbelievable dude and people are coming in and the reason it's going so well is because of the quality of the food it's super legit it's the best stuff I've ever had it's great you know do you know do you know I not to get meta about this but do you know the death my comparison death by comparison you mean like as an idea like you know like people people beat themselves up by comparing them yes other people right the people's joy right comparison is the thief of joy yeah so I'm sitting with my dad on the back every day when he was here at two we'd have a drink and a cigar yeah buddy it was tough to get that fucking drink down because I can't whiskey it sucks so much to not want to get day drunk or to not to just be like oh so my dad's like obsessed with this chart a bit yeah and between you and Pete Davidson my dad's and my dad's like so it's up to pastries I go yeah Tom's start a pastry shop I got Tom's more like a businessman and I started beating myself up I'm like I don't do shit yeah and and I was like God damn man am I what if I'm just a comic like what if I don't really have great ideas outside of it and then and I was really kind of beating myself up a little bit and Tom I swear to God it's the reason I wore shoes today because I saw a post to Kevin Hart did that day and he was like what's up everybody I got this tequila whatever I got this thing I got this new joint venture with Kevin or whatever and he's wearing shoes in the post and I was like I don't ever have shoes on I never brought shoes that's what made you think to wear shoes yeah yeah because everyone all the grown-ups were shoes you're just coming to this realization yeah yeah I'm always barefoot yeah I know it's part of who you are it is and then I was like and then and the reason I say this I think people can be guilty of this by comparing themselves even someone they love her or close with yeah and then feeling shitty about themselves can I can I make a point though about that real quick is that you're thinking about investment in one in one way but it's broader than that I'll just say this and then tell me if you don't think of yourself as an investor real estate I don't do any of that Tom if we am yeah but it's you guys like you own a bunch of real estate man that's that is investing you know the thing that saved me was I'm not good I you're good you're good at money and you're good at seeing cool shit and liking cool shit and knowing that if I like this cool thing other people like it like the like the two things that I can't mention are really I would just be scared to invest in because I don't know anything about it and this pastry shop I haven't been able to pay trees I mean I still can't right now but I haven't been able to pay trees and forever I do love croissants but then I was like oh I just do like I do like the full throttle thing for Daytona and then and like and the cruise like I just I just try to keep mine close to me so I felt better about myself but I was wanted to share this because I was like I was really celebrating you with my dad but in terms of feeling shitty about myself I know I was like I bet people do that and then all it takes is like that night I was like trying to I started journaling in the morning and I was journaling trying to write about like what's good about me well I think you have you're you're very much an ideas guy but like you know ideas guy you know I just like I had a meeting then like where do you see yourself in five years I really give a fuck about anything but just coming up with good ideas like that's like like an idea for a TV show or movie or fucking festival or a cruise or things to do on a cruise and like or or a tour or I or just comedy like I love I love the fucking I love I'll tell you what man I said this to my dad I your special is going to be so fucking big no boy are they now so it's coming out yeah it's coming out Christmas Eve on Netflix it's called teacher yeah it's you've been doing this hour for couple years yeah it's gonna be so fucking big dude well I mean I hope it's well received you always do but you know I also I feel like a lot as long as we've been doing it you also I got to this very comfortable kind of Zen place of when things come out you just go like and you know it's out of my hands yeah no but that's no but that's the I fucked up in my statement in my journaling yeah I was writing the things that are good about me and I was like oh I okay why am I comparing myself to Tom and business when that that's what weird thing to compare to my strong suit and I do not compare me to you and stand up like I look at this special I said my dad I was like casually in this conversation I was like Tom special this next special teacher is gonna be fucking really good and he was really and I was like yeah I was like he's been doing it for two years and I saw it two years ago and it was fucking incredible well two years ago your gas is up today bro no but I was but it's true it's gonna be so epic and I the same is like you know I think but I think it's crazy that you can I am I have no I have no comparison with you in comedy in that I think it's it's the thing we do that's the exact same thing and I don't look at it all but then I you like being like just the idea that like you buy a nice jacket and I go I don't even know what a nice jacket where to get one I know I know he totally are like a fucking toddler when it comes to like where do you get something nice dude someone someone asked me in the end what what would you say if Bert came home with a new car would you be upset and Leanne goes that would never happen she said it very confidently and like really she's like Bert wouldn't even know how to buy a car that's so that's so true it's so true I would I'd have to call Leanne and go hey can we get this car do you come down and get it for me you couldn't call like your business manager I mean I guess and then go go can you come down and get it for me but like and what's crazy is like I start I start I started like beating it's really started with clothes so I started beating I remember you're like we're two adults by clothes I was like what you know I don't know where to get I'm dressed in like a fucking middle schooler like but I guess but isn't that like you don't feel bad about it it's who you are you're you are flip-flops or barefoot and like t-shirt shorts or flannel open like that's who you are it feels so weird to be wearing shoes right now like it's inside a house I mean I know and it's like what like like I was like that feather looks really soft I don't own a sweater Tom do you want me to get you one I let's wait until this my job kicks in I would figure out a size yeah I put on a suit the other day for a photo shoot yeah and I was like I was like oh this crazy like this where it's so it's a weird wear suit and have shoes on and be tall and like a pair of like Chelsea boots yeah yeah it's so busy nice yeah no no yeah yeah yeah I was it's the holidays are here which means it's time to give the gift of smoothness whether you're shopping for your partner your brother or yourself we don't judge manscapes performance package 5.0 ultra is the ultimate upgrade from trimming to freshening up this is your all-in-one grooming kit that keeps you clean confident and ready for any festive occasion head over to manscaped.com and join over 13 million men who worldwide trust Manscaped use the code bears for 15% off your entire order I've been using Manscaped for years and I could not be happier with all their products the performance package 5.0 ultra has everything you could possibly need the lawnmower 5.0 ultra groin and body hair trimmer the weed wacker 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like hitting the undo button for your bad decisions I also take glutathione glutathione every night but for your bed it is good for your for your organs I'm not a doctor so I'm gonna tell you what I take it for but you know what I take it for and by the way I saw Gary Breca was talking about this stuff and I trust Gary Breca but you know why because Dana White's in shape and Dana White's not supposed to be that skinny if Dana White looks good dude anything I try so if you want to try rotatricians NAD plus the glutathione whatever they've got a bunch of stuff over there they're giving 20% off with code bears that's R-H-O nutrition dot-com and use code bears for 20% off yeah I gotta tell you yeah I fucking I was so surprised I was like wait you're in I didn't know that you were that into that oh well yeah I mean it's I had three of the musicians that were performing that night I had them on my podcast oh wow yeah so it's funny I have to say this and I'm I got so much unwarranted credit for for from record it record exacts you know record exactly there's one thing I know about you is that you love unwarranted credit keep going yeah you got a real kick out of I'm sure so we go to the CMA's they asked me if I would present Stephen Wilson Junior some friends of Stephen Wilson Junior and I had him on the podcast and I had him very early before he had really broken I guess is what now here's the deal I found him somewhere so I'm not the one that saw him on a street corner performing I'm on the Internet so he had clearly been doing stuff you love that you love when you found somebody on on the Internet early I did I had seen a band called the Red Clay strays yeah on the Internet and and ran only one time we were at Zaines and I saw them standing in the back and I knew there was a guitar and I made this fucking heartfelt like if you've ever been in love or if you want to be in love if you've had your heart broken or if you're with your chick the greatest on this I've been played is played by that band right there and if they'll come up on stage and play it and the Red Clay strays came up on stage and said she comes from silver spoon and sang that on stage and it was fucking incredible and then I became friends with them had them on the podcast now these are just two examples I've had Ernest on the podcast I've had Hardy on the podcast I've had some really I've had Marcus King on the podcast I've had some really crazy I've had some really crazy people on the podcast to play music and in in the green room it was like yo you're the guy that breaks these artists you know like I was like yeah I just have to taste and they were like they were like it was it was really hysterical and Leanne's like hold on Red Clay strays I've been on like Theo's podcast like six months before years I was like I know shut up and she's like hold on Stephen Wilson Jr didn't you see him on a podcast out of Atlanta and I was like Leanne shut the fuck up it's so but it was the backstage Tom was fucking insane at the CMA's it was every music star you could ever imagine and this is the wild part you do the red carpet for the CMA's and we do the you do the such a weird ring Jesus it's old people ring yeah why do you have that cuz I know yours is the best ring that's the it's raining man yeah yeah so we're at the red carpet now the red carpet is for an event like this there is no hierarchy it's when you get there is when you stand in line yeah and and it can be up to about 30 to 45 minutes and you are standing with celebrities are all setting with their publicist waiting in line it's it's that's how it is it's not no hierarchy now granted if fucking Vince Gill comes news get a lifetime achievement award they walk him through first but everyone else even Shabuzzi is all they're all sitting there Leanne's at land I'm at the front we're with Chris O'Donnell and he's in front of us and Leanne sees the red clay strays and she goes one of them boys doing all the way back there I go Leanne let it go she goes well hold on hold on I'm gonna go get the nation you wait in the back and I go Leanne it's don't she just goes back gets the red clay strays and all their wives she knows them all and brings them all the way up to the front and goes guess what else is back there grab Stephen Wilson Junior brings him up front and causes the biggest bottleneck you've ever seen in your fucking life okay she just wanted to all because she goes well I don't if we're gonna wait I want to hang out my friends I want to talk to them and Leanne's really close with Stephen Wilson Junior's wife whose name happens to be Leanne as well oh really oh yeah and so so but then I ran into Steve Martin how was that not great really did you corner him did you like oh my god oh my god oh my god I'm the biggest fan of my god I love all your stuff I said we've had to read prompter back back he was up before me so he read prompter and then I read prompter and we were just he was in a room and I'm waiting behind him and it's a little booth and then he turns around to walk out and I said to the person like outside she goes it's Steve Martin and I went holy shit he first was big as fuck he's a guy I thought he was 6'2 but he's a 6'2 but he's big and he goes he's like I go that's Steve Martin she goes I'd be mad him I went no I've never met Steve Martin she goes you should need him I said can you introduce me to him she goes I don't fucking know him and I go I know but can you just say Steve this is my question she goes no I don't you introduce me and I go no I want to I want to meet him and we're saying that's like five feet from him yeah and then he just turns around and he kind of walks like try to get past me and I block him and I go hi and he was like hello and I said my name is like I was like he's dressed like he's dressed like like a fucking steampunk hippie yeah it looks like his earring went through his headband his headband had a hole in it for his earring that guy is fan fucking tastic to watch I love watching Billy Bob Thornton anything well I will tell you this time you love to meet him really he's walking by I said Billy Bob he's fan he walks up to me he's walking by with publicist he stops comes up he goes how you doing I said good he said what's your name I said Berkra's gonna stand up to me and he goes oh nice to meet you having fun here and I was like yeah I'm having a great time and he said I'm excited to see the regular straight I said yeah and I knew some like inside scoop yeah so I was like I was like yo they're the thing they did for land my man or whatever is TV show I was really fucking incredibly good you heard it and I said yeah and I'm like oh shit my troubles they played it for me like I did a podcast and they played it for me I was like yeah and I go be your version the thing and and he was like hold on you heard that and I got and we were like a five-minute conversation that's great and I was like oh shit he was a fucking blast he's the man yeah but we sat we sat behind Lil Wayne and X the plug in big X the plug big X the plug they were at the CMA's Lil Wayne bought four tickets what Lil Wayne bought four tickets big X the plug is fucking awesome he's great he's awesome everyone stopped by to say hi to him and Lil Wayne and Lee and I did not speak for two hours we sat in our seats behind him and just did this yeah it was everyone it was it was a who's who of country music and we had a fucking blast that's awesome man I'm glad you had a good time and wait so this all started because you wore a suit so did you not like wearing it or did it fit well did you feel good in it uh I feel good I feel good in that suit I feel good in that suit usually I couldn't button it so I want to button it I get to buttoning it size yeah but you're probably there now no not yet I still can't Jesus Christ Tom yeah yeah there's one if you go to the almost the far right picture it looks like I've abs far right oh wow it's great CGI that was that was uh it's my coach to move it's nice to have a move you have a move yeah I get very uncomfortable on the red carpet yeah I just do that I just go like and then they're like over here and I'm like I'm like I make like four faces I'm like hey can you take your glasses off and I'm like okay okay yeah they get real aggressive wait do you bring do you bring Christina with you when you do the right carpet well I've only done it a few times so she was with me she's been with me like once or twice but um the other times I've been alone yeah I feel so weird oh they always and this is like so crazy but always like all right let's real quick we'll get one with the Bert Lee Ann and now can we get rid of the wife all right over off yeah yeah yeah and then it's just me and then Lee Ann's like waiting for me yeah I feel so weird I'm like boy wait for the picture no no we don't want that get out of here yeah move her can you get his ball down here scooter over to the side it's mom Jesus yeah what was that picture that was that was yeah that was the premier wait am I didn't I got a red carpet I was there oh this must be awesome no that was LA you were there real yeah you probably have shots in that too oh do not pull up that fucking picture why oh that's like what that's me at my worst is it really that's yeah that's last May red red face fucking pimples all over my cheeks no makeup is before I mean my skin look my skin looks better on manjaro your skin does look good it fine for whatever reason it just started to help you clear up some it cleared up my skin entirely or whatever my diet was doing to my what was the acne from was that from eating to no it's they said it was Rosacea okay what's that was really sure that's from drinking right it's from alcohol heat a lack of sleep it's like everything I do but it's my yeah it's my party your fucking identity yeah yeah yeah it's just like no shoes no shoes rosacea shirts off you get it no it used to be a time I did a podcast with Sebastian and I did the two bears and he goes he's and he had makeup on yeah your skin looks amazing and he goes I'm wearing makeup yeah I saw that I saw that I saw that where makeup he goes it's like yeah there's cameras where there's fucking cameras yeah you didn't think about wearing makeup I can I tell you I think I've aged out of podcasting yeah I think I'm I'm wondering like I the podcasting I I loved yeah was the broken podcasting like the yes and like I enjoy like I enjoy Pete Sebastian podcast it's one of my favorite podcasts I only watch the clips really I enjoy clips I don't watch listen to podcast I watch clips Pete Sebastian's clips are the best fucking clips so the best fucking clips there are he has Sebastian the other day if he makes out with his wife yeah no I don't make out with my wife I'm given like a kiss on the forehead then and like the Sebastian makes me laugh so hard you know he got me in the ropes we did a pot we did a thing I think he said he had I saw a clip he has multiple ropes right he has seasonal ropes seasonal ropes yeah and I started wearing robes how you like it I really fucking enjoy it winter robes gotta be the best robe I think winter robe winter robe so I'm in I'm in Ohio at the Schottenstein Center right University Ohio yeah and cold Ohio State Ohio State Ohio State and I'm in and I got this robe from Naples where I spent my birthday it's a really nice robe and it's a winter robe I've never Tom if when I get off the tour bus and I go into the venue I am always always shirtless in basketball shorts barefoot that's it that's what I everywhere I go no matter what the temperature is if it's really cold maybe I'm on a sweatshirt but I'm always barefoot and I'm always in basketball shorts yeah but then I put on this robe I go you know what I'm on the road in there Tom four people took pictures of me like that work there they're like oh look a big time and just take a picture I look like the most arrogant walking around in a row yeah but they're comfortable shit so comfortable dude that's why they're hot sellers yeah do you have a ropes I do have I've been given a few robes I think what ends up happening is this you just go like oh yeah I guess I like I like the idea of being a robe guy like I like the fantasy of it but whenever I get them I never use them so it's a bad gift for me because I just I just never wear them I've worn it I've worn you know like the day I got one like as a gift I put it on and I feel like in 20 years of hotels once or twice like you know what they have like the road but it's not my go-to I just I don't know I just never find myself putting it on I just know that's Leanne Leanne always gets the robe at a hotel really and then if she likes it she buys it yeah Leanne's a massive robe person oh she does them at home oh Leanne is a wild robe person that checks out yeah I was I was I was I was steals my robe so she has an FSU robe that I had yeah and then this weird with this weird like like kind of like a hippie pattern robe but I was always in a robe dude my seven year old is gotten into suits it's so insane I wore I wore suit like a couple weeks ago and he goes he goes hey you're wearing a suit I look like an asshole and I go what he goes I look like an asshole right now I don't look like an asshole yes I do you have a nice suit on look at me with a stupid shit that I'm wearing I go you look totally normal and fine like you have a nice shirt he goes no I look like an asshole and you look good in a suit I want a fucking suit alright dude I go yeah we can we can get you as soon he was looking at my and then he discovered hair product he goes where's the stuff from my hair I look so fucking stupid without that shit in my hair like he's really getting into like his appearance that we walk out of the house and he's like how do I look like I look great he goes to my hair look stupid and I go no he goes all right and then I if you go to touch and he's like you're gonna fuck everything up I'm like dude you know we call him Joe Pesci right because he's just like that 24 seven I swear to God and that yeah any time he's not yeah my youngest is so crazy with the fucking docile one hell no hell no he's look he's he's spicy dude all times yes super spicy yeah it never acts fucking yeah that's him dude that's him right there that's my seven-year-old son so did you get him a suit yeah yeah I got him a suit what does he look like in a suit I mean it's it's kind of adorable but if you say that he gets mad so yeah you gotta be like you look great cool and you can't show like if I go buddy he's like fucking say that shit in front of people so does he look at himself in mirrors and stuff yeah like especially yeah if we're walking he's like all right like he's a really concerned about it's kind of adorable he's like everything all right I go yeah you look great man he's like here this cover I didn't discover mirrors until I was in eighth grade you yeah I never I never I remember the day I realized I got to put myself together a little bit yeah I had not watched my hair like a week and it was like greasy and I went to the bathroom and it swells in eighth grade and I think that's when I also started liking girls a lot yeah like usually yeah and I was got one of the bathroom I was like goddamn it I look like a piece of shit yeah and I was and I looked at a full tonight's mirror and I was like is this what I fucking dress like I was like Jesus Christ no you realize you're still having those thoughts today today look at these are like nice jeans they look nice man we talking about I look like a fucking I look completely normal dude your jeans and a t-shirt and sneakers fuck him you look totally normal what do you I've been dealing with this I've been dealing with this one crisis for a long time which crisis is that about my appearance my clothes but why okay if if dress is that important why don't you just like have a you know you live in LA you can just call a stylist and be like hey I want some options and then they'll just give you a bunch of options okay we do that we do that and we do other photoshoots and I get all the stuff and then it sits in a different closet well just don't do that make it make it make it like give it like like like priority placement in your closet where you get dressed like actually I feel like when I put on those clothes on putting on a costume that makes sense yeah and I think you should be comfortable you should wear whatever the fuck you want to wear when you when did you switch your clothing like was it when you started losing weight um you didn't have a suit when you were like the kings of comedy size I've always had a suit but I haven't had multiple yeah I probably got more of those but I always like nice clothes always really always I always like when you were fat you okay you're the one that introduced me to Air Force once yeah did I yeah I was in a car with you when I said why are you wearing those shoes you said you've never worn Air Force once I said no I've never seen I don't even know what an Air Force one is you said they're really comfortable and I went okay yeah I bought a pair of Air Force ones and I began wearing Air Force one well I mean I mean I always I always liked nice clothes and like different clothes sneaker shoes I always did you dress did you dress sharp when you're in high school um I think I always had like pretty well not where you'd be like oh my god but like yeah people you go like oh you care about what you wear yeah I think to a degree and then I probably the worst clothes that I ever wore was probably in the couple years after I got to LA you know so I was just like the poorest and like I kind of embraced being like a sloppy comic for a couple years okay that's when I met you yeah so that's when I was probably like the least and I also thought that like oh like I remember one time I went to do a spot and I had a t-shirt on with a hole like a notable hole in it and like a stain and one of my friends is like are you gonna wear that on stage and I go yeah and he was like why I was like well you know like this is like I'm like two years in stand up and I'm like well you know like I'm it's almost like fits what I'm like how what I'm talking about he's like I think that's a little not like that's a little much like yeah he's like you're forgetting that like audiences like looking at you like you have like holes in your shirt and I was like oh I was like all right and so I probably just like cleaned it up a little bit and but I was also just I also feel like what you're wearing right now is like that's the unofficial stand-up uniform like t-shirt jeans and sneakers right and so yeah even to this day like I did shows last weekend I mean I was just in a t-shirt and jeans and sometimes a jacket like that's still like how I like to perform but I feel like in life it's more fun to just wear whatever the fuck you want to wear I mean I just I just do like nice clothes I don't think it's that crazy I went to a meeting I went to a meeting and I put on an outfit so it's like a big meeting yeah there's a bunch of a bunch of Hollywood people yeah and I was like I'm gonna put on outfit and then I kept putting them on and I kept trying on different outfits yeah and I was like god damn it I said I was like the thing you got it like because I'm struggling with it I'm just gonna be myself that's why I wear flip-flops jeans and a t-shirt I think that's the key to it is to be yourself but also the thing I think I'm struggling with is like okay let's use big J's an example okay okay guys got a definitive look all right totally and he's had that look for like yeah it's who he is so then I think my question is will big J dressed like that at 75 like he's got a cool look yeah that's a good question we really don't know so like do you know the comics that like they're like they're like they're trying to like live young they're young and then they don't they don't age with their clothes like losing one of the things I saw the podcast with Louie yeah and you look great that podcast that jacket looked awesome thanks man and I'm Louie look good and I was like I was like okay so when you get older is a comic are you supposed to start dressing a little maybe a little more adult well I think it's a total fucking choice I mean like I think the reason that big J like why this works for him is because it's completely authentic it is it's authentic to me it's completely who he is Louie you know yeah he's 58 years old and he's wearing yeah he's wearing like jeans and a flannel and like it's I feel like every time I've seen Louie over the last decade he pretty much is like like you're saying like he's like t-shirt jeans boots you know there's a picture I'm making out with his new girlfriend on the streets of New York nobody does gossip I do sometimes yeah he has really cool boots on he has he had cool boots he always has cool boots I have to tell I cannot tell you but you have to ask me off Mike to tell you about the jacket that I had on because it's just I'll just tell you now to tell you later okay he's always had cool boots did you hear what what Vincent no did you hear what Quinton Tarantino said about Paul down oh yeah what the fuck what is that what is that why the fuck that was so wild it was it felt like it was not it was not it was not measured at all it was so fucking right I can't tell you though I disagree with him but I love that he said it yeah kind of great on both parts what's one of the thing is crazy is like that movie is at least as as far as I knew his good friend or maybe formerly good friends movie like it's it's like talking about a close friends movie right like yeah he and PT Anderson of I don't know unless they had some falling out but also it is usually if you're in the business like the harsh criticism of a performance by somebody who's also in your business it's kind of wild it feels like there's something personal here you know yeah he's weak sauce man he's a sister she ruined the movie he said is that we said can we get the clip because yeah let's see the clip I here's the thing I that I I I who is Millie Bobby Brown I've heard her name so much and she's not related to Bobby Brown or or Miley Cyrus yep here we go is this the thing if I had um of a criticism about the film it would it would fall to Paul Dan was performed not that the performance is bad there's nothing bad about it it's just it doesn't compromise it's just not in the level and caliber of Daniel Day Lewis and if the two characters are meant to be combats throughout the film then Daniel Day Lewis is is Muhammad Ali and Paul Dan was your core okay okay here's what's crazy is there more because the other stuff is like he just says it's not a bad performance and then all sudden in the text it says it says it's yeah weak sauce and like the worst actor and sag like that's really fucking harsh man you really says that oh man this would bum me out if this is a case of the internet being the internet oh like it's not entirely true it's like the internet I think the internet said it's worse right now with yellow journalism whereas like this is saying the most interesting guy ever weak sauce the weakest actor in fact like that is so inflammatory to say like you'd have to feel like it's personal at that point you know yeah but when you hear it like that you're just saying like well he's a director and he's assessing his friends movie and that's pretty measured he's just saying that like Daniel Day Lewis is like other level is essentially how that comes across you know yeah I'm wondering if like I don't know if you guys can find anymore let us know yeah I think the rest of it's behind a paywall but let me keep working all right go ahead no that bothers me because they're when you take it out of context like that and you read it you're like what the fuck by the way it is it's worth pointing out since we're obviously done podcasting for at least a few years that we'll have so everyone's favorites coming back Chris and Stavi are gonna come in and do some episodes and you guys will enjoy the show again yeah for about a month and also I always want to say that like this is we're getting towards at the end of the year this year was pretty pretty rad for for like the poor sorry for the two bears poor Oso's world you know this year alone we had another incredible second time doing the two bears 5k and as promised we'll definitely keep that going so we'll have like announcements about that soon I think it's like the most positive thing that's ever come from our entertainment careers is like the that whole movement feels really special and so if fans really love the only fans idea I think right that too but aside from that I think the 5k has been a fucking incredible thing looking at the swings we take some swings and some misses yeah you know yeah two sports management two bears racing both failures bill failures but two bears 5k porosos been great doingers I will say this we have the every time we do these events they're always genuinely super fun for us whether we do like bottles and my favorite thing are the bar takeovers those are actually very very fun and we did we did events in Dallas we did in Austin we did FSU we did Tampa Chicago Phoenix in apolis they're always so fun we're gonna keep doing those fun together I will say that that's really fun together understand it's tough for us both together in the same city but when we are together like if you had my highlight of the year with now the doubt was a four-state Alabama game oh my god there's a highlight of the year it was my highlight of my year we still had it was fun into another level of like being there I had never also seen you in Tallahassee which is just fucking wild to experience the unofficial mayor of Tallahassee and then going to the game you know I'm a lifelong fan and so like I've gone to game there before but like when it was season opener and the tension of like hey Bama's in town which I think every week whenever they go anywhere that's what those people feel like oh shit Bama's here and you know the new state like the upgrades to the stadium it all had like this electric feel and then we got to see just you know a great game and CFSU play dominantly and then disappoint us as the season went on which is always fun as a fan but it was such an exciting day to be there and then we you know we did we did events we were with people like for 24 hours straight we were just like it was crazy it was crazy you know you I gotta give you credits you know we're doing you have you heard about the full throttle thing we're doing no but rather I'm doing so when we went to Daytona 500 two years ago yes you were like you could be the mayor oh the Daytona 500 I was fucking great I was never saying like it I still talk about it so I reached out to NASCAR and I was like yo can we throw a party medium rare yeah same people to guys parties shacks parties prompts beach party and that's happening February 14th Daytona I've thrown a party the night before the Daytona 500 I got Leonard skinnard headlining and I got a blow I got earnest and I loved it the forts in the middle of that yeah you guys fucking perfect that's a great Daytona at the great Daytona at beer barbecue yeah Daytona people love for us but that was pointed out to me and I gotta give you credit that my favorite moment of this year without a doubt about it may go down as my favorite moment of my life was the pump up speech before the game and you were the reason it went well that was fucking awesome that was great we got drunk that morning yep and all I get sent all I get sent is me taking my shirt off and whipping around my head and all these kids and colleges taking the shirts off and whipping around their head yeah it's I don't think they're tethered I think take I don't own taking your shirt off but it does fire me up and I see it of course when I see those all the boys their shirts off it's awesome they have you doing it Ohio State went to Ohio State came and the fucking athletic director or whatever comes up he's like hey could uh first uh first defensive possession can you go over to the corner take a shirt off front of kids I was like buddy that's my thing yeah I did it was like it's I love it I love it no it's a moment it's a real pop it's a real moment we've had a crazy year it was a crazy year you know bad thoughts came out which was really exciting I mean I'm in huge size picked up for season 2 we're about to shoot that uh yeah we're both doing Christmas day we're gonna both be at the Netflix NFL broadcast yeah my special comes out Christmas Eve and so Christmas Day I'll be at that game you're gonna be at the game you have something coming out have you announced that yet do you know okay I'll announce it I'll announce Christmas day okay sure I'm about to wrap up a tour I'm so thankful for the tour by the way for everybody who listens or watches that came out to see me on tour it was the most fun and like fulfilling tour that I've ever done and it's about to come to an end so I'm super thankful for that I also want to say we had like amazing amazing guests that came in for the year like you know we had McConaughey here James Allen to a salad to a salad the undertaker came in you just had you just said one with Mel that was great Mel Robbins run yes and then Sebastian this we've done and listen I just want to say this we're doing obviously you're seeing that we're doing less together we're doing more with guest bears and we're getting having stopping and Chris do them our schedules are swamped we're not doing it because we're not doing it because we're going to collect the podcast yeah I mean the reason that this happens is like I have such immense responsibilities on my season 2 show and then I'm gonna be shooting it for a while and then I'm also in post and I'm part of the prep it's just super demanding and you just have to like try to figure things out when you can you have a show and you're on tour like it's just the reality of our lives man it's and this year is gonna be kind of chaos it will be and I know that because looking at my schedule it's it's gonna be it's gonna be rough and we're not we're not trying to neglect the podcast I wish we could do I wish we could bang out one day on the road where we go in we do a live podcast out of part take over and I wish we could I wish we could streamline I can be honest with you I wish I could be in Austin more often well because I really enjoy being in Austin because I tap the fuck out and it's not like you know if we go to do some live events that would be really fun like we'll do some some live ones during the year we can figure out like a day here to day there doing live ones could be really fun those are always a good time in I really like doing those two and so so I just want to say to the fans that love the podcast and are bummed that maybe we're not as together as often or the fans are excited that we're not whatever I love this podcast I'm I'm changing broadcast in 2026 to less because I just don't have time for it yeah I'm changing something's burning to less so I don't have time for it and I and I and I hope people still tune in when I do post them but I can't do what I've been doing I put out 156 episodes a year it's a lot all I thought to myself Tom is I really love Seinfeld but if I saw a hundred fifty x hundred fifty six episodes of Seinfeld a year I get pretty tired of him yeah so I was like I just I think it's good for the world to get less burnt cool yeah I mean everybody just needs to like you know you have to like figure out something that works for everybody does right like and yeah I feel like my bandwidth I can't handle the amount of stuff I'm either it's just too much too much and I have a feeling that it's going to get 2026 gonna be pretty a pretty intense year and I think I but I'll tell you what it starts off with your special Christmas day that's gonna be fucking big I'm super stoked I really hope you guys will check it out you could probably mark it now in your in your queue you can be reminded of it but yeah can you put it can you put it in this reminder already I think you can I think you can if not if not today it's within days you can definitely put it in yeah and I think what would be great is a video of you sitting with your family Christmas morning by the tree watching Tom special with the whole family you know parents grandparents kids that niece that just got out of rehab and the aunt who's believes that the shakers maybe had a few good ideas but I'll tell you right now the rehab needs to love it of that that's gets a love it she'll like it a lot yeah where did you shoot at Milwaukee shot Milwaukee at the Riverside beautiful theater beautiful theater it's a great theater and by the way permission to party I'm still touring for 2026 I just announced a month of days I'm in Tampa I'm doing a bunch of uh and then I'm yeah and so we should be good awesome yeah it's great but uh but yeah 2026 gonna be a wild year night I just want to say to the fans that we we are we are cognizant to make sure that this is a priority for us and that we don't lose you guys and we put out good episodes that you enjoy with guest bears and with gazos and with each other um and we hope you guys are just ride with us consider better um I'm going back to old bird do it man yeah there you go fuck fuck my inner dialogue yeah fuck this is who the fuck I am that's when you feel like yourself it's my leg purple all right I gotta shoot up my gyro okay call your cardiologist and tell him your leg turn purple see what he says I love you Tom I love you too I'll see you guys next week bye