My Struggling prayer

My struggling Prayer I struggle.. with the cruelty of the world The uncertainty of the future The unfairness that exists The self indulgent nature of people The expectancy of everyone To be handed things To be given what is not earned To trample on the very nature of my humility And expect me to release fortune cookies To disregard the nature of love kindness and understanding To put forward the interest of revenge and ownership I struggle Everyday To not lose all control To not shove everyone and anyone down a hole 🕳 The deep darkest hole possible Away from my ever so vulnerable feelings Away from my ever patient nature Away from my heart that beats The rhythm disrupted by…. The inconsistencies of workers The incompetence of employees The demeaning nature of the working class That refuses to take ownership That refuses to face up to reality That refuses to stand up and tall That refuses to lay in the bed that they have sown I struggle Much so often To Not offend anyone Not to criticize an individual For their lack of knowledge For their lack of passion For their lack of determination For their lack of discipline I struggle Ever more so slightly With… my anger…. My frustration… My annoyance… My patience….. I struggle With control Not of the present Not of the past Not of the future But of myself To not take it personally To not take it as an attack against my very being To not feel abused by the very people I am trying to help Lord help me stand tall Help me walk the line that you set forth Help me lift up my head when it all feels heavy When it all feels hopeless When it all feel damning Lord… help me be a better man A man of a virtuous nature A virtuous man A man after your heart Provide me with shelter From the hail storm of life From The blizzard of the days From the heat of the midday sun As I stand not as man Without God, But as a human fully focused on the Lord For guidance For help For a friend For a father To paraphrase the words of Shadrack, Meshach and Abednego Even if my God does not save me I commend my spirit into your hands daily. For my hope and faith lies in you For all the days of my life