My Therapy Reflections #11 - When Hope Runs Out (Almost)

** Content warning: This episode discusses suicide, suicidal ideation, and severe mental health crises. Please take care while listening. In this episode of The Dysregulated Podcast, I unpack my latest therapy session — one that left both my psychologist and I scrambling to try and understand thoughts and feelings that were much more serious than ever before. The stakes couldn't be higher; this was very much a life-or-death scenario.These looping dark thoughts come from deep within my psyche, much deeper than the usual storm of emotion-fuelled suicidal ideation. This time, it was cold, logical, calculated… and that makes it so much harder to fight. For the first time, I had a clear plan. It felt less like an impulse and more like a grim conclusion my rational mind had come to — and that’s terrifying.After opening up fully, my psychologist had no choice but to call the NSW mental health line right there in the room. It was confronting but also reassuring to have her there advocating for me. That call has now led to a referral to the Newcastle Community Mental Health Team, with hopes they can triage me properly and maybe even secure an extended inpatient stay to finally sort out these meds.--Follow my journey through the chaos of mental illness and the hard-fought lessons learned along the way.Lived experience is at the heart of this podcast — every episode told through my own lens, with raw honesty and zero filter.This is a genuine and vulnerable account of how multiple psychological disorders have shaped my past and continue to influence my future.--Follow The Dysregulated Podcast: Instagram – @elliot.t.waters Facebook – The Dysregulated Podcast YouTube – The Dysregulated Podcast (Official Channel)Created by Elliot Waters — Inspired by lived experience. Mental health insights, real stories, real conversations.