My Trauma Christmas List

1. Scary Santa at the Grotty Grotto - creepy old man with beard fed to small children who are into monsters in stories and nursery rhymes.2. Shopping - really? Who needs yet another ornament. Battling the crowds for that very last toy that your daughter wanted. Imagining the pain when she unwraps the Chloe the Cat instead of the Wagalots Kitty that she so desperately wanted. Finding ‘yet another’ tie for uncle Bob. Fighting - oh yes, fighting for the last of the special brand Tom Smith crackers. Food? - That’s another story, later. Money? - Do I have enough? Can I really afford a brand new Rolex for the girl or guy I’m trying to impress? The answer is always, no - but you do it anyway.3. Sensibility vanished. Any semblance of normality has gone. People rushing, screaming, pushing and even punching to get to the till first, so they can attack another shop in the endless quest for treasure.Step back - do you see our primitive ancestors here? - hunters and gatherers, collecting what they can in a greedy frenzy, in case everything runs out. (Impossible I know, but the emotions and that sick feeling in your stomach that this Christmas might be another disaster, keeps driving you on to even more chaos and misery.) Step back - what if there were no Christmas. What if same people remained sane this festive season. I know, unthinkable. However we are Christmas abstainers. Like with any addiction, it can be done.This is an addiction, to being part of the tribe, to belonging, to being accepted (although in truth, if you were a fly on the wall when you left the room, you’d pack your bags now and leave). Tribal creatures fear isolation. They feal abandonment. They are weaker alone. When you are weak, I am strong. This is the game being played out every Christmas in the shops and Malls across the world. We are trying to be strong, to puff ourselves up to being the richest, most generous, giver. But all we do is empty our bank accounts for tat.The latest in the Christmas farce is Advent. This year, I’ve seen people posting vides of themselves giving advent presents every day in December. Not just little chocolates in Advent Calendars, but big, bold, ribbon festooned luxuries. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit deborahbutler.substack.com/subscribe