Myths, Sex, and Misconceptions: A Therapist's Take

If you have been in a long term monogamous relationship, this chat is for you. If you are in a new relationship, your passion is high and you may have zero desire issues. In the beginning of a relationship, passion is high, intimacy and companionship are low. Over the course of a long term relationship, passion decreases and companionship and intimacy increase. For the couples out there who are struggling with their sexual relationship, don’t worry- you are in the majority on this one. What is actually “normal” is to have problems in the bedroom. In the minority are the people who are having sex like rabbits. Hopefully this is good news to you. You and your partner are not alone and there is hope.Most couples struggle with their sexual health and avoid talking about it. Even in a therapist’s office, this topic can feel too personal and far too sensitive to even broach with an experienced couple’s therapist. . I use to put the book, 50 Shades of Grey on my book shelf to help start the discussion of sex in my office. So my clients would look at me and say, why do you have that book on your shelf and I would say, it opens up discussion about sex. Early in my career this reflected my own discomfort around asking the question. But what I have learned is that what is happening inside the bedroom is analogous to what is happening outside the bedroom so it’s an important question to ask.People are often afraid to tell their fantasies, what hits their brakes and accelerators for desire what they like or dislike or would be interested in trying out of fear of hurting their partner. Sex is personal and can be handled with sensitivity to each person’s feelings in a nonjudgmental place to explore how to improve your sex life. But there are some myths that we have to debunk to get there. Today we are going to explore a few of those myths. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit abbeysamide.substack.com