Narcissistic Abuse, Shared Fantasy, and the Voice You Swallowed

In this voice note, I get personal about something I’ve been noticing across my community — in the comments, in my private coaching sessions, and in my own life: the impact of narcissistic abuse on the voice.I talk about what experts call a “shared fantasy” — when you’re living inside a narrative created by someone else, and you’ve subtly agreed to never challenge it. I share my own experience of being in a relationship for over 20 years where I couldn’t speak my perspective without a fear response kicking in: jaw tension, tight shoulders, a swallowed voice, a closed throat.I also talk about the macro and the micro — how I first noticed these dynamics playing out on the world stage, in institutions, and in communities before I had the courage to look at my own closest relationships. And I share what’s helped me when those old patterns still get triggered: singing.In this episode, I explore:* Why I put out content in so many formats (and the teaching philosophy behind it)* The sociology of shared fantasy — from governments to friend groups to intimate relationships* What covert narcissistic abuse looks like when the person doesn’t fit the “loud and aggressive” stereotype* How living in someone else’s reality creates physical symptoms: jaw tension, throat tightness, blocked resonance, and fear responses* Why healing keeps hitting a wall when you haven’t addressed the dishonesty in your life* How singing — especially moving from minor to major keys — works as emotional modulation* The role of harmonics in shifting your emotional state (and why I teach this in the Sound Healing course)If this resonated with you, here’s where to go next:🎤 FREE Voice Guide: https://bella-payne.kit.com/freeguide 🌀 Join The Healthy Voice Community: https://the-healthy-voice-community.circle.so/untitled-page 🎓 The Voice Liberation Method (7-week self-paced course): $97 https://the-healthy-voice-community.circle.so/untitled-page-1-e9c083 📰 Subscribe to The Healthy Voice Writes: www.thehealthyvoicewrites.com 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_healthy_voice/The Healthy Voice Writes is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to The Healthy Voice Writes at rawveganbella.substack.com/subscribe