National Treasure

Hey, did you know that Benjamin Franklin was a known grave robber? It’s true. You should look up that letter where he eloquently lists the reasons why old women are far more superior sexually to their younger counterparts. It boils down to them having to try harder because they are no longer beautiful, are super grateful for it, and don’t worry about how they look because “as in the dark all cats are grey.” Oh, and their vaginas don’t age as fast as their faces because science. Anyway, enjoy these idiots talking about a significantly less interesting Benjamin Franklin for a while. Ya, that's who Nicholas Cage plays, Benjamin Franklin Gates. I just learned that, and now I like this movie even less. It’s time to steal the Declaration of Independence, National Treasure!