I feel like almost every message that God gives me these days centers around something like it's okay. It's okay. I just recorded a couple minutes ago that it's okay to be a victim if you've been victimized It's okay to feel the feelings that you're feeling after going through something traumatic in life that God doesn't fault us for being human and now Today like for this episode We're gonna talk about how it's okay to have questions and not know what to do and to not have it all figured out It's okay. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves to have it all together or to at least look like we have it all together and To just know what to do to have everything handled and you know, I'm just gonna say it.
It's impossible There are some seasons when it appears that it's possible and that we have it all together But then let something change Let any kind of a transition happen something unexpected happen and it kind of shows us we don't know what we're doing Sometimes like that's okay. It's okay to not know what you're doing I didn't know that Even though I'm so in love with my husband that marriage would be an adjustment. I Oh my gosh, marrying Byron is one of the coolest things I've ever gotten to do. He is the love of my life I just adore him so much but Being married to him is kind of like everybody says that marriage shows you who you are I haven't seen that part of it yet because we've all like we've been close for years and years, so Like whatever dynamic That we've always had it's still there now like we're best friends first and like husband and wife second And I'm saying that just to say I understand him pretty well.
He understands me I've known for ten years. So there's not a lot that he could do to surprise me. Sometimes he does with little things like I just found out He doesn't like catch up. I've known this guy ten years.
He doesn't like catch up I think he was having catch up with meals with me because he liked me so much Like I would cook sometimes and put catch up on the table and he'd use it, but he just told me he doesn't like catch up anyway I just think that's so weird. He prefers honey mustard or barbecue sauce like just something with more flavor. I get it He's a foodie But anyway, what I mean about marriage being a transition is like I was misindependent for years I was known as Miss Single my siblings would make jokes about my lack of a romantic life I can't repeat them here, but they were not always nice I was just kind of known for that and I had a plan I wanted to Just kind of be by myself into my 30s. I was even thinking about never getting married I didn't really want to have kids earning of that.
I just I wanted to work for Jesus I wanted to write books I wanted to travel have my own place have my own space peace and quiet that kind of thing and then My friendship with Byron became something more and I couldn't imagine not being his wife at a certain point last December in 2022 I Just knew I wanted to marry him and my plans were changing and my idea for my life was changing and it's kept changing now We're gonna have kids and in the next few years. We just want one, but it's years away still I'm not I'm not I'm not ready for that yet, but I wasn't expecting to need someone To be a person who needs someone or to be this woman who's so obsessed with her husband But here we are so like that's been a transition in a part of myself. I didn't get an anticipate so even the good things in life can Can surprise you and kind of knock you off balance for a little while I've always been like a little bit of a workaholic I just love what I do so much and now I have to fight to work Because if I have an opportunity to be with my husband All the hang out with him and not want to work so my work ethic has changed. It's just I want to be with him all the time We're in that like fun newly white stage.
I'm just obsessed with him and I've never been a girl obsessed with any guy ever I didn't really have crushes growing up. I wasn't boy crazy never had that stage So this is it's kind of new mine came in my 30s Even yeah, like good things can can bring about a certain level of Unsurety uncertainty uncertainty is the word Like learning how to share my space with him has been a transition. I also left a full-time job that I had in July of 2023 and have been kind of trying to figure out what my next step should be so that's a question It's kind of up in the air and stuff with my family from like the abuse that we went through That's always throwing the curveballs Because me and my siblings are on various levels of healing with that Some haven't started at all and are kind of still on the downward spiral path doing drugs and stuff And so it's hard to have my family and sometimes I don't know what to do to help or to keep myself safe I don't know what to do So my life is kind of filled with questions in this current season where I'm figuring stuff out and sometimes I really get Impatient with my with myself and I think I should know what to do. I should Be certain on what job I want next or if I showed if I should just focus on books if book sales are high enough for me To not work at all that kind of thing.
I don't know. I don't know I feel like I'm figuring a lot of things out right now Sometimes I change my mind about wanting to wait a couple years to have a baby and I want one now and then I don't know and I just I don't know a lot of things I know that that God's got me and I want to keep doing ministry And I love my husband. I love him so much those three things I know a lot of other stuff though their answer and I even thought about putting my condo that I just got up for sale And the next few years, but I'm not sure about that either and it's just I get stressed out and I'll go on walks and On my last walk where I just felt like well life is too much Just it gets overwhelming to have questions and to not have a lot of answers I went on a walk to kind of talk with God That's what I do I'll go outside and kind of silently praying my head and sometimes he answers me Sometimes it's just silence and peace and that's good to but the last time all I felt him say was it's okay It's okay, and I was saying God I know I'm in a transition and I don't know what to do I don't know what the future holds for me And I feel like I'm in a time when the decisions that I make are really gonna impact the rest of my life and Every statement he was just saying it's okay. It's okay.
Yeah, you have questions. That's okay. That's okay It's okay, and at first I was like this is not helpful, but then I got the point I took a deep breath and told myself like oh It's okay. It's gonna be okay.
It's okay. It's okay to not be sure right now and to have to work through Questions and to be in transition and to not really know what I'm doing right now. It's okay I'll figure it out I'll figure it out when I need to God will show me which way to go when a decision has to be made But right now if I'm just if I'm asking questions if I'm wondering if I'm kind of working through the options that I have That's okay He says this it's just he gives us really great advice in Proverbs 3 about this Where we're told trust in the Lord completely and do not rely on your own opinions with all your heart will lie on him to guide you And he will lead you in every decision you make that was Proverbs 3 5 another verse that is really helpful when you have questions and you're dealing with a lot of uncertainty is James chapter 1 verse 5 where we're told if anyone longs to be wise or wants wisdom ask God for wisdom And he will give it he won't see your lack of wisdom as an opportunity to scold you over your failures But he will overwhelm your failures with his generous grace and in the footnotes It also says that Or with an open hand so for the part of this verse that says that he won't see your lack of wisdom as an opportunity to scold you over your failures But will overwhelm your failures with his generous grace We can also say or he will overwhelm your failures with an open hand with an open hand God is here for you in your questioning and he's never gonna yell at you for having quite having questions or being uncertain he sets it's down various life paths all the time and like it can seem like we're taking a really steep like a A sharp right turn sometimes where he throws us a curveball and we're facing options We never thought that we would have to face and we're going through things we didn't anticipate and like we're saying Hey, God, didn't you tell me to do this? Why are you having me face these options that suck?
I thought you'd have my back you told me to set out on this path and this path has led me to tough options Tough choices that I don't even want and I don't know what to do God still set you down the path. He doesn't want you to turn around He'll tell you which way to go but it's okay to be questioning things that you didn't really see coming or or things that you're just You're not prepared for it's okay to not be prepared. God's the one who gives us what we need And he'll make sure that you have what you need when you need it But ask him ask him for wisdom. He won't call you dumb for needing it Everybody can can use a little bit more You know wisdom and instruction with life.
Life goes everybody curveballs whether we do the right thing or the wrong thing It surprises us all I never thought that I would fall in love with my best friend to be honest with you Everybody always tells us that they saw it coming years in the making But for a long time we were just really close friends and we're content to be that way and then suddenly it was more than that I didn't plan it. I didn't see it coming. It's been the greatest blessing But it's also sort of knocked me off my feet and sometimes I don't recognize myself I'm really happy so happy, but I'm also living a life. I didn't plan.
I didn't plan to get married at 30. I didn't Plan any of this it's wonderful, but it's just it's not the path I saw for myself It's what I'm glad that I'm on though And it's just like even with happy changes changes scary change brings questions change brings fear It's okay. If you're going through a lot of change in your life or something's just going on that Took you by absolute surprise as god for wisdom asking to leader steps. He really will He really will and try not to rush to make a decision before you're ready And before you know that it's the right one don't agonize over it But just wait until you feel peace about which way to go.
That's what I knew I wanted to marry him I'd always questioned like how do you know that the person you're with is the right person for you I would ask God for science. He wouldn't give me science about like a spouse And so I was always second guessing But how I knew that it was the right thing is I felt peace about being more than friends just peace And excited and then when we started to discuss getting married I thought so much peace about that too. I knew that it was the right thing And it didn't happen quick for us. It happened after Um some failed previous tries at being romantic We had tried to be together twice before when I was in my early 20s and then we thought that doesn't work We'll just be friends and so we were friends for five or six years And then yeah, the piece I'd wanted the two other times that I was with him it came We don't really control When the timing is right of certain things in life.
It just sort of happens that way So life is gonna happen two years sometimes and it's also gonna happen for you and for your good God knows what he's doing So just trust him trust in the lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding and all of your ways acknowledge him Trust him and trust that he'll guide you in the ways to go But yeah, that's it. That's it. That's today's lesson. Just If you're in a season of transition, don't freak out or freak out but go to god and just keep trusting him I'll get you through it.
Okay. Bye