Navigating Office Cliques - Without Losing Yourself

welcome back to the career pivot accelerator the post for finance and accounting professionals ready to break free from career stagnation and pivot into their next big opportunity i'm your host peggy mcknight and today we're tackling a topic that can feel like a punch cut navigating office clicks and exclusive networks without losing yourself in the process does that sound familiar now let's be real in our industry relationships do matter even though we do crunch numbers and we love a good spreadsheet relationships also really do matter especially when we are talking about finance to non-financial people and need them to understand the bottom line you get it but when you're surrounded by a tight-knit group that acts like they're still in high school excluding you gossiping behind your back and making you feel like you'll never break in it's not just frustrating it's painful today we're going to talk about how to rise above the drama deal with those self-appointed ringleaders who love to exclude you and remember that life is really too short to worry about these small-minded petty people so grab your coffee or your stress ball no judgment here and let's dive in hello my friend let's start by naming the problem office clicks and exclusive networks can feel like high school all over again you've been at your organization for years you're good at your job and yet there's this tight-knit group you know like the perceived popular kids who act like the gatekeepers they don't invite you to lunch they don't include you in conversations certainly not important ones and they're quick to talk about you behind your back but never to you and then there's the self-appointed ringleader you know the type they make a point of talking to everyone else in the room loudly sharing their weekend plans or their latest project or anything that is just wonderful about them but they never once ask how are you or what have you been up to they know nothing about your life and honestly they don't care they're too busy maintaining their little power bubble making sure you feel left out so let's be honest this behavior isn't just annoying it can be painful it can make you question your worth your skills and your place in the organization and the worst part these clicks often hold the keys to opportunities they're the ones getting tapped for high-profile projects promotions or leadership roles while you're left wondering what am I doing wrong but here's the truth you're not doing anything wrong these people are small-minded petty and stuck in a high school mentality that they will never outgrow and life well life is just too short to let them define your career and your self-worth today we're going to talk about how to rise above the drama build relationships on your terms and pivot into the career you deserve all right now let's get into the good stuff the actionable strategies to navigate office clicks and exclusive networks without losing yourself I've broken this down into three key areas reclaiming your power building strategic alliances and protecting your peace so let's tackle each one first off is reclaiming your power don't let them define you don't try to fit in first up reclaiming your power these clicks thrive on making you feel small but you don't have to play their game here's how to take back control remember their exclusion says more about them than you if someone is going out of their way to exclude you talking to everyone else in the room sharing their stories but never asking about your life that's their insecurity not yours life's too short to worry about people who are more focused on gossip than growth second focus on your value you're a finance and accounting pro you bring expertise insights and results to the table don't let a petty ringleader make you forget that keep doing great work and let your skills speak for themselves don't let other people derail you because believe you me there are always people trying to get out there and derail others to make them look good and you look bad no no just keep doing that great work and letting your skills speak for themselves because as you are learning growing and developing you're getting stronger and stronger each and every day and then stop seeking their approval just stop you don't need their validation to succeed instead of trying to break into their click focus on building relationships with people who respect you and align with your goals here's a pro tip when the ringleader tries to exclude you don't take it personally smile stay professional and remind yourself their behavior is their problem not yours all right second thing to do is to build those strategic alliances find your people if you can hopefully your organization involves more than five people because if it's very small this could be very difficult however let's let's go through the steps of what i would recommend you do next let's talk about building strategic alliances you don't need to break into the popular click you just need to find your people and here's how you do it look beyond the click there are plenty of colleagues who aren't part of the drama people who value collaboration over gossip people who value results over gossip you get the picture right you want something tangible that you can really put your fingers on or sink your teeth into that gives results gossip that's like paper in the wind it's gone but first off start small invite a co-worker to coffee join a cross-functional project or connect with someone in a different department if at all possible it just would look beyond your immediate work colleagues and broaden your horizons as to seeing things from a different perspective which is why reaching out to somebody in a different department is encouraged because they're not involved in all of the drama especially if there is a very small finance department or the gossip is running like wildfire then going to a different department would be recommended in order to contain your sanity if you like another suggestion would be to leverage your linkedin profile the office isn't the only place to build relationships connect with industry peers former colleagues or even leaders at other firms share insights comment on posts and build a network outside this toxic bubble you might currently find yourself in again it will help you see things from a different perspective a better perspective a more objective perspective rather than the pettiness that is going on in the office and then third find a mentor or sponsor look for someone who's been where you are someone who can guide you advocate for you and help you navigate the politics a mentor who doesn't have to be a part of the clique certainly not a part of the clique they just need to believe in you remember relationships should feel reciprocal if someone's willing to gossip about you they're not worth your time focus on alliances that lift you up not drag you down and then finally protecting your peace set your boundaries and stay true to yourself all right let's talk about protecting your peace you can't control the behavior but you can control how you respond and here's how to stay true to yourself without being triggered by these emotional stunted people set boundaries with the ringleader if they're constantly excluding you or talking over you they don't engage politely exclude excuse yourself from conversations that feel toxic and focus on people who respect you for example if they're loudly sharing plans but ignoring you don't feel obligated to listen walk away and focus on your work again these people like an audience they like a crowd around them because it boosts them up in their ego because they think that these false gestures that they have gathered are actually people that they could have around them when that could be the furthest thing from the truth right next up is don't stoop to their level i know it's so tempting to gossip back or call them out but that only feeds the drama stay professional stay focused and let your results do the talking if anything if they keep talking because they like the sound of their voice that's another characteristic trait and they don't really like to listen or certainly listen to you then if you have repeated yourself and you feel like they're talking but yet you thought now is the time to say something and then they're still talking and they deliberately are doing that over you a you don't know if it's deliberate or not so here is what you do rather than stooping to their level and don't feed into the drama just remain silent silence is golden because i can tell you my friend it will drive them nuts silence is truly your superpower and golden especially when it doesn't feed the drama they have nothing to go on and then finally protect your energy dealing with clicks can be exhausting like you have no energy especially when they're gossiping behind your back you know that niggly feeling that something's not quite right something's always off but you can't quite put your finger on it like you've walked into a room and all of a sudden everyone goes silent and you think what's up with that you you get what i mean take breaks step away from the drama and remind yourself their opinion doesn't define you life is too short to let petty people drain your energy the key is to remember that you're not here to fit into their mold you're here to build a career that aligns with your goals and values that's how you pivot into the opportunities you deserve all right now let's bring this to life with a real world example i recently spoke with lisa a senior accountant who felt stuck because of a toxic click from her firm the ringleader was a self-appointed popular manager made a point of excluding lisa from conversations gossiping about her and never once asking about her life it was painful for lisa and she felt like she'd never break in so she decided to take action first she reclaimed her power she stopped seeking her approval and focused on her work then she built strategic alliances she connected with a mentor in another department and volunteered for a high-profile audit project finally she protected her peace she set boundaries with the ringleader politely declining to engage in her drama six months later lisa's mentor recommended her for a promotion and she's landed a role as a controller at a different firm away from the toxic click her story shows that you don't have to play their game to succeed you just need to rise above find your people and stay true to yourself all right my friend let's wrap things up today we've covered three key strategies to navigate office clicks and exclusive networks without losing yourself reclaiming your power building strategic alliances and protecting your peace here's some homework for you i want you to pick one action from today's episode and commit to it this week maybe it's walking away from a toxic conversation staying silent if they're talking over you and remaining silent connecting with a new colleague or reminding yourself life's just too short to worry about petty people small steps lead to big pivots before we go i want to hear from you what's the toughest click that you faced in your career and how did you handle it i'd love to hear from you you can leave a comment below in the comments on this platform or i can be found on instagram facebook or linkedin please do reach out i'd love to hear from you that's all for today my friend thanks for tuning into the career pivot accelerator if you enjoyed this episode please subscribe leave a review and share it with a colleague who needs to hear this until next time remember you don't have to fit into their click to pivot into your dream career life's too short for that this is your ride let's make it happen bye for now you