Navy SEAL Commander: What's Making You Better Probably Isn't

Send us Fan MailThe Grateful Podcast with Jack Wagoner episode 137What if most of what you're doing to grow yourself isn't actually growing you?Rich Diviney spent 20 years as a Navy SEAL commander. 13 deployments, 11 of them to Iraq and Afghanistan. He ran selection for one of the most elite SEAL commands in the world, deciding who was good enough to operate at the apex of human performance and who wasn't. He has written three books on optimal performance, trained leaders at Google, McKinsey, the 49ers, and McLaren, and built the SEALs' "Mind Gym" to teach operators how to train their attention as deliberately as their bodies.In this conversation, he laid out almost everything most people are doing to grow themselves that isn't actually working. The gym isn't growing you if you don't dread it. Optimism alone is inert without action paired to it. Faith and confidence are not the same thing. The narcissism that gets you to elite places gets ripped away the moment you arrive. And when you stop pushing into real discomfort, you don't plateau. You start dying.We go deep on what actually develops elite performers, why most leadership advice misses the layer beneath behavior, the neuroscience of the anterior mid-cingulate cortex, the trap of optimizing inside one domain, and why faith is belief without evidence and confidence is belief with evidence (and why both matter).If you've ever felt like you're working hard at the wrong things, this one's for you.⏰ TIMESTAMPS0:00 — Cold open1:45 — 21 years a SEAL. Where did this start?2:15 — Twin brothers, Chuck Yeager, and the dream of flying jets4:25 — Why he chose SEAL (the narcissism nobody admits)7:30 — What replaces the narcissism once you arrive8:21 — "Any narcissism that gets you to BUDS gets ripped away minute one"11:24 — Victor Frankl, the choice point, and the duality of gratitude and ambition15:30 — The neuroscience of feeling, thought, and action17:07 — How founders and executives use this in everyday life19:18 — Bob Proctor, paradigms, and the 97% of thoughts you repeat22:00 — Driving, road rage, and the expectations we put on strangers25:00 — "Don't be that guy" (the SEAL principle that travels)27:30 — Sonder and radical empathy30:33 — Why Simon Sinek's optimism alone doesn't work32:37 — Realistic optimism, faith, and confidence35:41 — Carl Sagan: faith is belief without evidence38:06 — Trust is generative. What does that actually mean?40:30 — The day I betrayed my own trust on a run42:22 — The anterior mid-cingulate cortex (and the Andrew Huberman story)43:54 — "When you stop growing, you start dying"45:38 — Are you actually tickling the part of your brain that grows you?47:38 — When your morning routine is making you weaker50:14 — Looksmaxing, gym culture, and the trap of one domain53:36 — A Maslow's hierarchy of hard things55:30 — One question I should have asked🔗 GUEST LINKSBook: The Attributes - https://www.amazon.com/Attributes-Hidden-Drivers-Optimal-Performance/dp/0593133943Website: https://theattributes.comInstagram: @rich_divineyLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/richdivineySupport the show☕ Magic Mind — My daily performance shot:→ https://magicmind.com/wagoner20Use code WAGONER20 for 20% off a package or 48% off a subscription.🧠 More from Jack:► Website: https://jackwagoner.co► Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jack_wagoner_/► 1:1 Coaching: [email protected]📺 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Jack_Wagoner⸻🎙️ About Jack:I moved to France alone at 16, started my first business at 17, and launched this podcast because I kept meeting people who had the answers to questions I didn't even know I was asking.  My philosophy: you can set massive goals while being deeply fulfilled right now. That's the duality of gratitude and ambition.Subscribe and turn on notifications so you never miss an episode.Stay grateful, stay hungry.