Navy Submarine Commander on Real Stoicism vs Social Media Stoicism

Send us Fan MailIn this episode of American Masculinity, licensed therapist and veteran Tim Wienecke talks with Commander William C. Spears — an active-duty U.S. Navy submarine warfare officer and author of “Stoicism as a Warrior Philosophy: Insights on the Morality of Military Service.” Full fact-check notes, sources, and extended show notes for this episode are available at www.americanmasculinity.com.This is not the internet version of Stoicism. We’re not talking about pretending you’re unbothered or building a hard shell. We’re talking about what you actually do in the moment when you’re angry, disrespected, anxious, or under pressure — with your partner, with your kid, with your team, or in a life-or-death environment.We break down how anger really works, why Seneca called anger “a brief madness,” and why “calm” is not weakness. We get into the Stoic psychology pipeline — impression → judgment → emotion → action — and why catching the judgment in the middle can save you from saying or doing the thing you regret.One of the biggest topics in this conversation is control. Stoicism teaches that you can’t control the world, outcomes, or other people. You can only control your own judgments and your own actions. We talk about how that idea shows up in submarine command, in fatherhood, and in day-to-day conflict. This is also where we connect Stoic practice to modern therapeutic work like CBT without pretending they’re the same thing.We also dig into roles and identity. Are you acting like “the tough guy,” “the partner,” “the dad,” “the leader,” or are you acting like the person you’re actually trying to be? Stoicism doesn’t tell you to stop caring. It tells you to act with virtue inside those roles — and refuse the parts of any role that demand you become something you can’t live with.You’ll leave this episode with three practical tools:A one-minute nightly audit: “What’s mine to control tomorrow, and what isn’t?”A way to interrupt anger before it takes the wheel.A question you can use all week: Where have I overused armor and underused awareness?About the guest: Commander William C. Spears is an active-duty U.S. Navy submarine warfare officer and an independent scholar of military ethics. He’s the author of “Stoicism as a Warrior Philosophy,” which explores how ancient Stoic practice applies to modern military decision-making and moral stress.Required note: Commander Spears appears in this interview in a personal capacity. The views he expresses are his own and do not represent the United States Navy, the Department of Defense, or the United States Government.Full citations, sources mentioned in this conversation, and extended show notes: www.americanmasculinity.comAmerican Masculinity is about men, pressure, anger, and responsibility — without pretending you don’t feel it. New episodes weekly.Shop local bookshops with bookshop.orgBookshop.org is a non-profit that helps local bookstores deliver books directly to you by mail.Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.The American Masculinity Podcast™ is hosted by Timothy Wienecke — licensed psychotherapist, Air Force veteran, and men’s advocate. Real conversations about masculinity, mental health, growth, and how men can show up better — as partners, leaders, and friends. We focus on grounded tools, not yelling or clichés. If you have questions or want a tool for something you're wrestling with, leave a comment or send a message — your feedback shapes what we build next. Note: While this doesn’t replace therapy, it might help you notice something worth exploring.