Ned, The Rat King

Being spat on in Madrid as a nine-year-old, then returning home and being spat on again because you'd been to Madrid, is a travel experience that doesn't feature in many tourism campaigns. There's also a legitimate theory that energy drinks only feel unhealthy because of carbonation — La Croix gets away with the exact same thing — a bathroom altercation involving a man who had every stall available to him and still chose the one directly adjacent, and a small child who told a full doctor's waiting room her mother's specific underwear brand. The godfather renewal system is explained, CPR dogs are assessed for compression quality, and "well-loved" is formally retired as an acceptable way to sell anything. Find us on Instagram @nedandjosh