Social Strategy Podcast, Episode 15. Welcome to the Social Strategy Podcast, where it's all about making most of your business with smart tips on what's working now in social media, online business, and good old fashioned networking. And now your host was also known as Ross PR on Twitter, Vernon Ross. Hey guys, what is going on?
This is Vernon Ross, and welcome to the Social Strategy Podcast, bringing you the best of online business, social media, and good old fashioned networking. So, this episode is actually a solo episode. That is right, I'm not bringing you a guest right now, I'm actually going to just talk to you about a couple of things that I wanted to go ahead and get done. It's been a while.
Actually, the first episode was a solo show, just announcing everything in the launch episode and all that we will be doing. And then from there, it has been a whirlwind, literally, of guests and opportunities, and everything that's been going on with the podcast. So it has kept me extremely busy, and also kept me from being able to record a solo episode, if I can talk tonight. Anyway, I wanted to go ahead and get this episode recorded, because I get these questions often.
And I teach a couple of classes, private coaching clients that I have. And this one was one that I did for a sales group. And I wanted to kind of share this with you. It's all about networking, and the steps and skills that you need for evaluating networking.
What I'm actually going to do is, in the show notes, I'm going to put this entire guide, and it's about four pages worth of stuff in the show notes for you guys to have, because I think that this information is vital. So I'm just gonna get right into it, so let's go ahead and go. All right, so we're talking about evaluating your skills for effective networking in this class. And this was about two, maybe seven or eight sales professionals that, you know, all deal in quite high-end sales, and they do a lot of networking, and they do a lot of events and stuff like that.
So I wanted to prepare them for their networking events, and for the conferences and trade shows that they attend, when it comes to actually establishing those contacts and those relationships and those networks. So before you attend any networking function, professional career conference, whatever it is, it's a good idea, or I would say it's really mandatory, that you evaluate your skills, what you have to offer, and actually what you're also looking to gain from that actual meeting. You know, during this evaluation, I'm gonna try to help you create a roadmap, and that's what this guide is going to do. Go out to the show notes after you listen to this podcast, read through it, and there's an activity at the end that if you do it, they found it really, really helpful, and I think it's gonna help you.
So, you know, one of the main things when you're talking about networking is you need to evaluate the skills that you have to offer. You know, the main idea is that you pay it forward when you're networking with others. You wanna basically offer to help. You don't necessarily wanna jump right in and go, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, how can I help you?
You know, I do this, I do that. But you do wanna make sure that you're able to contribute to whoever it is that you've found to talk to, that you've run into, or that you've actually targeted to build a relationship with. One of the things is that it is really hard to recognize those skills that you have within yourself, and most people just don't do a good job of self-evaluation. So what I always recommend is that you talk to another colleague or someone that you trust that's gonna be brutally honest with you about where your actual strengths lie.
Now, the danger in this is people can be sometimes a little over-critical depending on how well they know you. So, we're talking about someone that's close, they may or may not be able to give you, you know, 100% honest feedback that's not skewed with a personal relationship or something like that. One of the things that I recommend that you do is go out and get ShrinceFinder 2.0. It's one of the things that was a requirement for this class that I taught.
And in that book, it's going to tell you the type of person that you are. I recommend that everyone go get that book, buy the book new, because if you buy a use, there's actually a test that will tell you the type of person you are, what your strengths are, and what you should be focusing on. You can't do that with a use book. So, unfortunately, you do actually have to go out and buy.
There is a deal on Amazon right now. So just go out to Amazon.com and pick up a copy of ShrinceFinder 2.0. And if you get a chance, do that before you actually go through this exercise. So, the first thing that we actually worked on was, you know, talking about networking skills.
And there's a whole range of people's skills that you're gonna need in order to be effective networker. Virtually anyone can develop those skills. It's not really, really hard to do, but there are some things that you have to do to step out of your comfort zone. So, I'm gonna go through a little short list of some of the things that we talked about.
One of the things is the ability to approach others. You know, how hard is it for you to strike up a conversation with a stranger? And introduce yourself. Do you have difficulty doing that?
You know, what about nonverbal communications? That includes eye contact and even how you position your body. You know, how's your posture? These are things that you need to ask yourself when you're thinking about how do I go about networking?
What about your facial expressions? Do they match your body language or your facial expressions kind of awkward, depending on the conversation, because you're not exactly sure how the person is perceiving you. So, one of the things that we actually got into that was really, really interesting, was how the donation in your voice actually goes up and down when you're making a statement. And this was actually a part and we really got into some deep conversations about this during the training.
What people will do is they'll say, so yeah, I can teach you about Windows XP, like they're asking a question. And when they go up on that donation at the end of a sentence, it shows insecurity. So, instead of going up on the donation in that sentence, because it shows insecurity, it's almost like a question. So, instead of insecurity, insecurity.
So, literally making sure that you lower the octave on the last thing that you say, because when you lower the octave on the last thing that you say, it actually makes a difference in the way that people perceive the conversation. I don't know, did you guys catch that? If you go up on the end of a sentence, it makes it seem unsure. But when you keep your tone down and active, it comes across a lot more confident, or does it come across a lot more confident?
It's really, it's a play in how you deliver content, but it is so vitally important when you're actually trying to establish that you know what you're talking about. So, we kind of got off on a little rant there and I'll get back into it. So, one of the things that I find a lot that happens to people when they're in conversations, especially in a not a sales situation, in a conference situation, or a room full of people that are networking event or happy hour event, is they don't know when to interject their thoughts into the conversation. And you have to basically, you look for cues on when you can step in.
Sometimes you actually just have to say, well, excuse me, can I jump in this conversation? That is totally acceptable in a networking situation. And it gives you a chance to introduce yourself, especially if there's a small group of people talking. You wanna try to maintain though, a balance of talking and listening, because what'll happen, and what I've seen happen, especially with sales types, is once they interject and they start talking, they stop listening, or they're only listening to be able to respond.
And that's just really not where you wanna be in this situation. You wanna be listening and keeping a balance and making sure that you're having a mutually productive and enjoyable conversation. Now, listening is probably the most important thing when you're networking, because what you're gonna be able to do, number one, we talked about it a little earlier in the training and it's not really covered in this document, but when you're establishing that relationship and that rapport with the people, persons, room that you're in, you wanna be listening for things that these people are looking for, things that they want, things that are important to them, and their challenges. One of the things that I will ask someone, depending on the networking situation is, hey, so what kind of stuff are you working on right now?
Or, hey, what's the most difficult thing that you had to deal with this week? And they may ask, well, why do you ask? And then I can go into a little bit about my skill set and what I have to offer and then turn it back around to them and say, so, now that you know a little bit about what I do, what did you have, that was difficult to deal with? And then we can get into a conversation because I've asked them a question about, hey, you've got something, I wanna try to help you with it.
This is how I'm qualified to help you with it. Now, tell me what it is that's going on, and now we have a connection back and forth. But I never would've got that if I actually wasn't listening to them and what their actual situation was. Another one of the things that we dealt with in this networking training, and it was only an hour.
It didn't take very long, it was a special little thing that I did, but it was fun. Sales guys are always fun, sales guys and girls, because there were girls in the room as well. I went on a little rant about social media, so this is for my social media peeps. I am guilty of it, but it is absolutely rude to do.
You gotta stop tweeting when people are talking to you. It's one thing to say, hey, what's your Twitter handle? And then you look it up on your phone and you guys are both looking it up on your phones to be able to connect online. If you're not in a room full of other social media people, you should preface it with a, hey, you mind if I follow you on Twitter?
I'd love to connect more with you after the event. Most people are gonna say, oh yeah, yeah, what's your Twitter handle? Then you pull out your phone, you go out to Twitter, you find what it is, or if you're gonna have four square, the person, you go, hey, what's your Twitter handle? I wanted to check in with four square while you're talking to them.
You don't just pull out your phone and start going about in your social apps, because it's rude. And not everyone is prepared to deal with you staring down at your phone while you're talking to them. And I think it takes away from the conversation. I think it takes away from the rapport because you're not able to engage with each other because you're engaged with your phone.
You can't do both at the same time well. So put your phone down, talk to the person that you're with with the exception of adding them to Twitter, checking in with four square or finding them on Facebook and that was kind of the end of my rant, but it was like, just stop it, stop touching your phone the entire time you're having a conversation. It just really irks me. And it's one of the things I tell them not to do, because as I was going through the class, there was a guy on his phone searching through his contacts for people that he couldn't at the event that they were gonna be going to on LinkedIn.
And I'm like, dude, stop, wait until we finish the training, then you can develop your game plan and pursue those people. Because right now you haven't gone through the LinkedIn checklist that I put together for sales professionals. So just wait, just wait, we'll get to it. It was really funny, it was a great guy though.
So another one of the things, and this actually was not the case with these guys, but self-confidence, self-confidence is one of those things that it's hard to do, and it's hard to display self-confidence sometimes with outcome across the cocky, or self-absorbed, or like you're just hot stuff, but you have to be able to let people know that you have expertise, knowledge, and skills. Planning is simple. A lot of self-confidence has to do with body language and that you know what you're talking about. And if you happen to stumble over a word when you're saying not getting flustered, slowing down, a little bit, especially when you're talking in a situation and it's a group, just slowing down, just a little bit, so that you can get your words out.
You don't need to, well I am so-and-so, and I hold this degree and I've got this designate, nobody cares. The point is that when you're trying to exude self-confidence, stand up straight. Shoulders back, chest out, stomach in. I mean, it is plain and simple body language.
Head up, chin up, look forward, the whole farm hand, shake thing, I don't know, that's a little more old school than I wanna go, but a nice handshake with a warm smile and eye contact will do so much to help establish the fact that you're a confident person and you know what you're talking about. And be ready to talk about your expertise when you're walking into a room. It really does help when people feel like you know what you're talking about and that you carry yourself like you're comfortable with yourself and that's just something that you have to get used to and you have to practice it. And I do urge you guys, practice it a little bit in the mirror, kind of get ready before you go out to events because we have a tendency to slow and get comfortable and try not to be noticed a little too much, but depending on the situation you're in, especially if you're in a sales situation or a pitching situation where you're pitching to investors or whatever you're doing, you need to hold yourself up to where these people don't think, oh, what's going on there, why are they so withdrawn and stuff like that and it gives away the wrong message.
And the other thing is positivity. You have to be positive. Walk into the room with a big smile, plenty of enthusiasm and a positive feeling. Get yourself ready for the event.
It is really, really hard for other people not to be inspired and not to be happy and not to be in a good mood when you've got a smile on your face and you're actually genuinely excited to meet new people. I get genuinely excited when I'm meeting new people in a situation. Like when I'm podcasting and talking about how to mic, I literally have a smile on my face, this big grin the entire time. And even when I'm going back and like editing shows, I'm like smiling in the whole time.
So I mean, I love podcasting and love talking to people and it's just something that I'm happy. And hopefully you can hear it in my voice when I'm talking. Well, I'm the same way when I'm networking when I'm at an event. I like meeting people.
I will just walk up randomly and start talking to people and it doesn't bother me at all, but that's me and I'm a little weird. But you have to be happy and positive and not worrying about what happened before or what you're gonna do after, but just being present in the moment, I think is the biggest takeaway that you can get from that little rant that I just did about being happy and positive. Be present in the moment. Make sure you've got positive energy going.
If you need to go to the bathroom before you go into the event, splash a little bit of water in your face, wake up and think about something happy. Listen to that new song that Farrell has, the whole happy song where you sing them because I'm happy. That's a great song to put you in a mood for going into a networking event. You know, one of the things though, you will notice that events and it goes to the whole positive energy thing.
I hate to talk about negative stuff, but you will get people that are negative at the event and they will complain about the event while they're there. Something will set them off and it doesn't have to be much. Like I was in that event and the wait staff was extremely rude and it was a couple of people and apparently they had a really long day. They didn't wanna work the event and it showed.
They were being rude, they weren't taking orders. They were pushing past people. It was pretty bad. The event organizer basically said something to the management there and it was quickly taken care of.
They replaced the service with other people and moved those people to other areas that were not nearly as busy. But after the little ordeal, which didn't last that long, there were a few people kind of peppered out throughout the event that kept talking about how rude the wait staff was and all it is is a desire to have something to connect with people with and unfortunately it is a whole lot easier to talk about something bad that happened and to get other people to chime in. You know, the whole misery loves company thing. It happens at networking events, trade shows and everything else like that.
I've been in a couple of trade shows where, you know, people are talking to other trade vendors out there and they're talking about, you know, well, this particular thing is, it sucks as far as this product is concerned or like tech conferences you'll go. And because someone has a beef with a particular product, they're just going on and on and on about how horrible the product is instead of focusing on the good things that they're actually there to learn. And it also happens at networking events. So if you find yourself in the situation where you've said more than one negative thing or a negative thing about anything, stop for a second.
Remember why you're there and move away from the other person that you're being negative with and go introduce yourself to someone else who's not talking about the situation that you're talking about or redirect the conversation to something positive. It just, it takes away from you and it takes away from the event. In the relationship that you form with that person won't be very meaningful because more than likely you won't really connect. You may exchange business cards, but you'll end up talking more about stuff that doesn't matter and you'll feel like the networking event was a bust.
Yeah, it was a nice happy hour to go to, but I didn't really get anything out of it. If you leave a networking event saying that, then you weren't talking about the right things because there's really no reason that if you go to a networking event, it's full of other professionals, other peers that you don't get something positive that you can take away, something that you learn and something that you're able to offer others to focus on your skill, your trade, whatever it is that you're talking about. One of the other things that you may want to consider is being self-aware. You have to understand your strengths.
I don't like to focus on weaknesses because you already know what you suck at. You just do. You know what you suck at. I know what I'm bad at.
I know what I'm not good at. I don't need to sit up and really talk about it because it doesn't serve very much purpose. In this short podcast, I'm talking about networking. It just doesn't serve a point.
What we're talking about here is your skill sets, the things that you're good at. So if you're good at starting random conversations about things that are going on in the news, do that. It doesn't take a whole lot to connect with other people at networking events. So just focus on the things that you're good at.
And everyone's good at some point in conversation. For instance, one of the things that I've found that I can connect with other people with a sci-fi. Most people will have some type of science fiction, something that they're a fan of, or some TV show that they like. Something on Netflix, something on HBO, some video game, speaking of which Ashlyn, I finally picked up Bioshock Infinite.
I will be playing it this weekend. So just wanted to let you know that. You can just randomly ask people, hey, you know, do you happen to know about such and such? And they'll get into it.
Those walls will come down a little bit. And you can start finding other things that you have in common. At the end of the show notes, there is an activity. And basically it's three different things.
The skills you have to offer, jot those down, the skills that you're seeking to gain. So the things that you want to gain from other people when you're talking to them, trust, just having a conversation with someone else. For instance, like a hiring manager or someone like that. That's, for instance, you're online and you're networking.
And there is a particular job that you're looking at. And you're trying to make a connection with a hiring manager. There's a whole list of steps that you do to make that connection with a hiring manager. But just in the conversation, if you're at a live event, and you find out that someone's an HR manager or a hiring manager, they're a recruiter.
One of the questions that you should ask, is like, oh, you're a recruiter. That is an interesting job to have. What's one of the things that just bothers you about candidates when they come to you to apply? I'm pretty sure you've got some good stories.
And then just let them go, because I know a bunch of recruiters and they all have stories, crazy stories, about crazy candidates that came to them about some job or some position. And then just ask them tips. It's like, well, what do you recommend that people do for such and such and such and such. Now, of course, if it is a recruiter or someone like that, that is at the company that you're trying to apply to and you're trying to get to know them, you may just want to just straight out ask, what are the things that you look for in a star candidate?
How would I best position myself for an interview there? It's okay to ask those kind of questions. It just is. The other thing in there is to have a goal for your next event.
So the next thing that you're going to go to, this actually happened to be the thing that they were doing, but have a goal for your next event. I want to build three meaningful relationships, if possible, at the next networking event that I go to. But however, I actually only shoot for one. If I can make one really good, strong connection at a networking event, then I've done my job.
Because that one connection can lead to so many other things. I've been to events and I've made one really solid connection. And those people have turned into customers and clients, or I've been able to refer them to other people that offer other services just as a way to serve them to make sure that they got what it is that they were looking for if it wasn't something that I could offer and really helped me in being able to achieve the things that I want to achieve. Because I've helped someone else get what it is that they want.
And I think it's a ziggler that said, you help enough other people get what they want. You'll get everything that you want. It's something like that. And I know I messed up the quote.
I'll put that in the show notes so we can get the correct stuff down there. It is vitally important that you make sure when you're networking that you're contributing to a conversation and that you're contributing value, just like online. It is really no different. So when you're blogging, when you're tweeting, when you're doing stuff on Facebook, whatever you're doing, make sure that you're contributing.
And I think that's one of the keys in effective networking and one of the tips that I'd like to leave you with. So with that, guys, I'm gonna go ahead, get out of here. Thanks a lot for tuning into the podcast. There have been some awesome, and I do mean awesome reviews online.
I wanted to make sure to thank you guys for some of the reviews that I've been getting online. And a couple of them really, really stand out. And it is just so humbling to get this type of praise from people that I've just gotta reach a couple. Okay, so check this one out.
This one review is from TobySellDotto, from Super Agents Live, check his podcast out. But it's titled, this is a fabulous show that gets to the nitty gritty. I've interviewed many social media experts from strategies like Cal Goslin, with over 250,000 Twitter followers to big brand strategies like Rebecca Radis of Better Homes and Gardens. I find it impossible to get them to break it down into clear concise chunks of actionable advice.
Somehow, Vern does the impossible and delivers crystal clear info. I need to learn from him. This show is well worth the follow. TobySellDotto hosts The Super Agents Live, wow.
I like try not to read that every day, but boy, what type of validation that is for what I'm trying to do. And it is one of, actually, you know what? It is the best review that I've gotten so far online. I have to just laugh every time I see it.
Not because it's funny, it's just that it is so humbling and I feel so good about being able to actually contribute, getting good guests, and breaking down the facts. That is what I've been trying to do. Another one is a good friend of mine that I met at New Media Expo. She is so awesome.
It's Melissa Mills-Wilson, Vernon really tries to make episodes valuable by getting the most out of each guest. He tries to ask questions that his audience wants to hear. The answers to definitely recommend giving a listen. And here recently, Cassie44, thank you so much.
Another five-star review. This is a great podcast. I'm so glad I tuned in because interviews are great. A really great mix of topics inside an amazing guest.
You know what? I could not ask for more from people. And I've got to read a couple, just one, maybe two more from Stitcher. This one's actually from John Lee Dumas, entrepreneur on Fire, which I was just floored when he posted a review to my podcast.
This podcast rocks with content and action pack info. Love it. So I guess I was doing pretty good for, you know, John Lee Dumas to actually comment on my podcast. I really, really appreciate that one.
And there's just so many more. Like I said, guys, I cannot express how thankful I am for you guys taking the time to review and rate and subscribe to the podcast. But I need more. I do need more ratings reviews and people subscribing to the podcast.
The more reviews you have in iTunes and Stitcher, the more subscriptions you have in iTunes and Stitcher, the better your show does, the higher it is up there, the more people see it and the more information we can get out to people that need this information because people need this information. There's so much good social stuff out there, business advice, and I want to try to get it out to as many people as I possibly can to remove any excuses from staying where you are and not pursuing your dreams. So that's why I X4 reviews and ratings every show because I want to be able to get the show out to as many people as possible. And remember guys, this content is free and these guests come up for free and they contribute their knowledge for free.
And a lot of the stuff that they talk about, people actually pay for, definitely make sure to check out the podcast, rate and review as if you have not had a chance. And I really do appreciate it. Coming up in April, I'm going to be speaking at University of Missouri, St. Louis Digital Conference.
I'm going to be Cote MCEMC, is how you spell it? MCE with Edward Domingo, his local guy here, really great guy. I'll also put some information in the show notes about that event, really happy, really excited, very, very fortunate to have an axe to do that. If you're in St.
Louis, you definitely need to check out UMSEL's Digital Media Conference. It is great, Perry, Drake. Thank you so much for considering me, offering me that opportunity. So guys, definitely make sure to check out UMSEL's Digital Media Conference.
That is UMSLdigitalConference.com. You need to attend this event. It is on April 2nd, and there are a ton of companies there. APB, Audible, Bonfire, CNN.
CNN, person from CNN is going to be there. I mean, all kinds of stuff. Google, IBM, Lockredome, Local Guys. Of course, Techly, Nielsen, Proficient, Yahoo, Twist.
There's just everybody's going to be there. There's no reason that if you're in digital, you don't attend this event. You just have to. So make sure you check it out.
UMSELdigitalMediaConference.com. So honored to be Cote MCing this with Edward Domingo from Techly. I hope to see you guys there. And with that guys, I'm going to go ahead and sign out.
And I will see you guys in the next episode.