New Life LIVE: June 4, 2026

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jim shares a recent conversation he had with Dr. Neil Clark Warren, in which he asked, “What’s the secret to a good relationship?” He said, “You have to be flexible, and when you’re adaptable, you do better.” Dr. Jim discusses positive adaptability. Based on research by Gottman, a healthy marriage has a ratio of 5 positive interactions to 1 negative interaction. How do I convince my wife that she needs to go to counseling in order to heal? Do I drag her to counseling, or does she need to go on her own? We’ve been married 12 years and have 3 children. I feel like she’s avoiding counseling because of her childhood trauma. How do I handle giving my granddaughter money for her high school graduation? She never thanks me when I give her a gift, and I want her to understand it’s important for her to thank me. I lost my father tragically in the 1990s because he was an alcoholic and had a heart attack in the home of his mistress. I took my kids out of school and stayed away from my support group because I was filled with shame. Can you help me understand why I had so much shame?