100% Welcome to the fourth episode of the winter bears the other fine finale the finale now Very similarly we have people the big wigs from YMH the head the behind the scenes guys right are all here To try to talk us into doing a show permanently on the network and what is the answer gonna be the answers are resounding no Absolutely not Chris you're already looking for housing, Texas. You're ready to move to Austin. You ready to fucking completely change right? You're ready to go.
No, um, this has been a great time. I've enjoyed hanging out here in the studio They have a lot of amenities. They do they have a whole staff. They do I'm actually pretty sluggish because I have I've continued to crush pastries.
They have a lot of they have a lot of snacks here Right. I had way too many croissants sure so I'm bringing 2026 this 2026 after Chris I'm bringing in sluggish. Yeah, and I'm ready to get home to beautiful New York City, New York City Now I'm ready to hold hands with you on our Delta flight back dude. I hope what's he to you Do you know I'm 5d I'm 3a oh we'll still hang I'll ask I'll ask my seatmate to switch Yeah, so you're not gonna sit next to each other now.
Here's the let's be on you can't even here's the problem You know not to start I mean wouldn't it be an episode of wouldn't it be a run of two bears without talking about the fact that we're in first class and complaining About it yes the one of the downsides of first class you can't as easily secretly suck your friend off sitting next to him Oh, because yeah, there's a real partitions there Yes back in the day you could do sneaky gay shit if you're in the back Yeah, back in the day I was always I was like being near the bathroom because I thought maybe people they were the least desirable seats So if any middle seat is gonna be open yeah a fat person I would get the one right by the bathroom and the worst was when it's a full flight and it smells like shit And your weapon thighs with another grown man. Yeah, but a lot of times it would work out for me And I would have a whole road myself and right I could get through by the way I'm the guy shitting sure someone's shooting in a bat in the airplane It is an insanely fat guy who got way too much pop eyes at the fucking food court Yeah, because they once you're in once you know you're flying there's no nutritional law zero rules you cry fucking I wouldn't use even I was broke I would probably spend more on snacks and even because I used to find the most budget flight I could yeah, and then I would go and spend like $40 on Haribo gummies and fucking fried chicken and shit I've almost missed flights. I've been they've called my name I've been in line at Chick-fil-A and I've just been like come on Literally was just working to get nothing better than watching the fact I run to its flight Yeah, one of the best things you can see if you're just like You know I'm in the terminal just waiting that I guy who does not usually run you can do yeah You're like this guy's about to pop like an ACL is on the verge. Yeah, just yeah My physical therapy degree pops up.
I'm like yeah, I can run over there. Oh, I need a fucking massage I'll do it up dude. I'll do it up do my shoulders are fucked up now I think well, what are we gonna do when we get there? We're gonna go into the Delta lounge They got some nice food and snacks there all freebies.
I have long this is you know I've become I've lost my Delta privileges. Wow. Yeah, I'm becoming a man of the people yet again Well, lucky you I have you have a guest I've only I've been hardcore with I leaned in to doubt I'm like it frickin you know what I mean Delta Special Forces. Yeah, I can get a plus one so you will be my honored esteem Thank you.
Wow. Wow. It'll be nice to be back if somebody's fucking guest now I will tell you that you know Austin the flights from Houston to New York City are much They give you the better planes. They give you the shit level planes at Delta from Austin to New York Austin is this bubbling city, but they don't treat it like that in the airport Houston They'll give you first class Houston to New York is Delta one lay down beds and all that this one is not even close to that It's partitioned off tight spaces.
Wow now. He and also no opportunity to fly into LaGuardia We have to fly into JFK, which is the worst I'd rather be in the back of a car with JFK You'd rather be wiping off this around brain matter for your lapels I'm fucking flying into JFK I really despise it and it just takes a lot longer to get to your home to my home And I do feel like if we're as you've mentioned if we're gonna complain about sitting first class in the privilege of the come along This is the show to do that platform where you do that it is the perfect two bears Topic to complain about the first class stopping you from doing gay shit. Yes kind of every element of the program Yes, like we're too rich to explore our late and homosexual desires now, right? Which is a problem Which is a problem and by the way, which won't be able to stay late for long I don't know I think I'm past it.
I think he would caught me I could have been groomed into a gay lifestyle, you know I could have been if somebody if I found somebody some older man who wanted to you know Lean me out treat me like his little fuck pig and then make and then make me, you know He buy me stuff. You know put me on our exercise regimen when I was broke Yeah, you know It wasn't too big sure it wasn't too much of a hassle to say there's a guy here's a guy who's looking up to you right now in Like his early 20s who sees a lot of himself in you right and you can't you kind of just said that to him and he he is In person hoping that happens to me. Well, he's hoping that that happens for him as an accident Right and so what he's saying to himself is okay, so what I could see him eventually getting in line with Tim Dylan Right, I just described is what Tim is looking for is exactly You know hilarious if Tim started if you're seeing behind the candelabra where Liberace makes all his boyfriends look exactly like him Yeah, if Tim took all these fucking twinks and started feeding them till they got fat as shit I'm like forced them to look exactly like it's like a fucking carbon. Yeah, I made them smoke cigarettes So they get a gravelly.
Yeah, they're all wearing Valencia. Yeah, you just as a fucking you guys an army of like fat guys and fucking designer Sunglasses in the ass. Yeah, but no, I think I think Tim tastes are to the twinkish side. Yes.
They are. Yes. They are two twinks So we're not we're not necessarily as tight, but you know think you could have ever been a Convinced to be gay man's played sexual play toys. I mean dude.
I mean what do you think that's foundational Catholicism? So I mean this is what the this is what the beginning years are right, right? So no, I don't think I think that for me the guy's you take the body of the Lord. Yeah, you put your tongue out daddy Give me a morsel of your body daddy My knees tongue open Do that first time you take it me and you try to get it on all floors.
Yeah You know it sucks about Catholic church now. They don't give anyone the wine anymore since COVID can't drink the blood of Christ Just the just the body. No, you can't drink the blood. It's not the blood.
That's why yeah, dude That's why you know now we have to just take the blood of Greek Orthodox because I haven't had communion in a while I've become a heathen sure but I did grow up in the church and they would make you I don't Like it was one spoon and they would put a little bread and a little wine in there And everyone eats off the same spoon and the piece would have a little cloth and wipe it off But yeah, no germs don't work And then I was like cuz I would you have to often follow a fucked up looking old because people who love coming here The old yeah, and you would you have to follow a really fucked up mouth. It's a dirty old mouth. Yeah, yeah Fucking shitty dentures like a frontier mouth. Yeah, yeah, I don't want to tell them out a trail And I asked my mom was like what like I don't want to leave germs are on it She's like God disinfects it with his powers.
Yeah, he's like God's down there like zapping every fucking union spoon and it would be pretty busy Yeah, dude the mind when the classical my whole life They would say like you know we would study for the test and then it was it with the most important part of it is you just pray to God Just getting a 10 on my ass. Yeah, but I'm praying I'm praying. Yeah, I'm praying. Yeah, I'm praying.
Yeah, I'm praying Oh, no, I'm answering your prayers during Nassau community college. There you go. No, it's New Year's Eve It's time to think about New Year's resolutions sure, you know goals for the year mine Good, why New Year's resolution last year to not cancel any comedy shows to say committed to what I say I'm gonna do and then I I canceled the last quarter of all my shows this year I just said nope. I'm not going I canceled Seattle Vancouver Portland I and I love the show the Northwest great great comedy town shout out all those people shout out to people of Columbus Ohio Then I canceled on I died no problems any of these towns.
I love these towns I just got to a point where I said I can't I just don't want to leave the family anymore I don't want to be multiple times owns away. It feels too far I am now on a quest in 2026 2027 to do shows just primarily in the original 13 colonies It's what I thought of as this would work for me If I'm on the eastern seaport if you're in one of the original 13, yes, there's a high chance I'm coming to you I hope you'll come see me and I don't mean to neglect the other parts of the country but just mentally with my family on I Just feel like I'm too far away. It's not good for me my mental state. So I'm looking to stay home Okay, that's beautiful a lot of jokes about the Atlantic Ocean sure, you know a lot of a regional stuff founding father material, you know All that stuff dude.
We could start shooting on the Algonquins The Iroquois Yeah, how fucking how gullible they were who gave us who traded Manhattan Delanape Delanape and the only reason I know that is because I've watched Colin Quinn's New York history That's how all of Brooklyn learned about history through Colin Quinn's it's awesome one man shows and him on weekend update Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course he was our hero of course that was a close you got to actual news Yes, just Colin is Colin Quinn a guy from the city being on weekend update. That's it What about you kid I was not when I was a kid I was actually pissed I didn't like conquin I was a kid what cuz you hated New York tuck thing I don't know I was just he was too like he was more about jokes. I was a dumbass little kid Like what year was he was he right after Norm? Yeah, like 96 I also you know it's so funny.
I love Norm You know a kid yeah, and his is a very dry style But I was my first SNL that I loved was like that all those guys got fired was like Sandler sure you know Yes, normal that stuff Yeah, and I only watched because my mother was a waitress at a Greek restaurant and she would come home with leftover lamb chops and calamari And so I and you wake up for that I would know I would stay up like I'd watch SNL yeah I was like fucking seven like we're talking like the mid 90s when those guys are I said I was literally six and seven years old Yeah, and I was staying up the promise of calamari or lamb chop actually gave me a yeah gave me a Education and comedy fellas you already know what time it is it's time to level up and blue chew just dropped something crazy I'm talking next level championship belt gold plated energy blue chew gold is the newest innovation from the number one chewable ED brand This is the four-in-one beast that's setting the gold standard for performance We're talking two ingredients for blood flow to keep that rocket pumping mixed with apple morphine and oxytocin to turn up The arousal and connection in your brain and body blue chew gold dissolves under your tongue and works in as little as 15 minutes That means you get it on quicker and stay in the game longer. I love taking this stuff It's helped me stay in the game Way longer than I even need to be make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at blue chew comm We've got a special deal for our listeners get 10% off your first month of blue chew gold with the code bears That's promo code bears visit blue chew comm for more details and important safety information And we thank blue chew for sponsoring the podcast this show is sponsored by draft Kings Draft Kings Sportsbook official sports Bedding partner of the NFL makes every playoff moment feel bigger Let me tell you if you're not pumped for these playoffs I don't know if you have a heart inside you I mean I I almost I almost want to get a job at Buffalo Wild Wings So I can really watch all the game I spend every week then they're watching the games and draft Kings makes it so much more fun if you have not tried draft Kings You are missing out on a huge part of football draft Kings has your back with early exit protection if the player You're in your eligible NFL prop that goes down at any point in the first half You still get paid cash come on bro download the draft Kings Sportsbook app use promo code bears That's promo code bears to turn five bucks into three hundred bucks and bonus bets if your bet wins in partnership with draft Kings the crown Is yours gambling problem called 1 800 gambler in New York called 877 8 open wire text open y 467 369 Connecticut help is available for problem gambling called 888 78777 or visit cpg.org please play responsibly on behalf of boot He'll casino and resort in Kansas past through a per-wager tax may apply in Illinois 21 over age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction In Ontario restrictions apply that must win to receive bonus bets which expire in seven days minimum odds required NBA League pass Honorary news until canceled additional terms at DKNG.com So audio limited time offer But I was not for whatever is my eight-year-old taste and I'm lying with Colin Quinn now I'm a huge the man I love our stuff But and I also think looking back those updates are really funny Oh my god, they're really fun epic and and you know He I think like in comedy like you have to have someone that you look up when here's what's wild is that was our thing SNL You have to believe that there are little kids right now who are 10 11 12 13 years old who they You're getting them into comedy. That's really There's some little kid right now that's like I stay up for columnarion lamb chops, too I see myself in him. Yeah, he's just watching fucking videos just on his phone waiting for yeah Yeah, it's funny because it's not tethered anytime anymore.
No, you can just see comedy whenever you want whenever you want Yeah, yeah, I hope there's some fat little child who's watching who's inspired by my comedy So I got so near as Eve coming up. I of course did the one thing that my family asked me not to do they've Worked and they said please can you just not work for the holidays? It's also by the worst gig in the world 1000. Yeah, so instead I've done I'm now doing two shows at the Count Basie Theater in Red Bank, New Jersey Great theater.
Yeah, of course now my you know beautiful, you know wife and children have instead of being able to sing the comfort of our home I've now gotten them hotels in the outskirts of Red Bank, New Jersey What a finest tourist districts Red Bank, Jersey. They don't have any type of like nice hotels where I swear got to have them in a holiday express Symbolic symbolic what their life with you is gonna be yes So now they're have to stay Jasmine has to now, you know put on her finest near as Eve gown and stay huddled up, you know They're not gonna come to the well, you know, I got that you know little babies We're gonna have the dog with us so you know you're Siberian us so now we're staying in literally two queen beds is that the most extravagant? I could get for two fifty night is two queen beds in a Holly and Express Jersey and but I have promised that I'm not working years day and any really that much in January so we'll do something But that is gonna be my New Year's Eve is is having to slug it out to Count Basie theater with James matter And then the great Mike and that's a nice and I said I'm a good But my family is because we did it I did a paramount on Long Island two week two years ago And you know it was good enough time But jazz like don't do it again and you then I did I took last year off and then I immediately forgot what she said and I booked myself I booked the show on New Year's Eve January of this year so I booked it here in advance So I was like I'm immediately making sure to go against you. Yes.
Yes Actually, the first thing I do this year is make my wife mad Yes, or my not yet wife not yet But she's told me though that she wants to she wants me to start saying it publicly So I start to get my mind to the idea like this is what's happening and she also was like we've been together long enough It's kind of weird you're coming to my girlfriend. It is it starts to become very trashy at a certain point Yes to be a little friend when you have multiple when your kids are like have like for have a form political opinions Yes, and you still call the woman that you had them with your girlfriend. Yeah, that is trash. Yeah, yeah Yeah, you live with her if you guys were divorced or you know were co-parents you are in a her name's on the deed Yeah, you're in a committed relationship.
You have a child who's like 10 years old. Yeah, and you're like my my chick Yeah, my girl my child's filling out college applications. I'm like that's my girlfriend. What she thinks Now I've done two regrettable things here.
Okay, here's Eve show right back to Jersey also I just sometimes you just can't get away from New Jersey can't get away from the roots I said yes after multiple asks me saying no no, but then finally just wore me down I am now doing I am now roasting the cast of the Jersey Shore in the state of New Jersey at the Borgata A thousand people in their arena. I am now. I've never roasted in my life I have no idea what to do or say and I said and I said yes because they offered me just enough money and a free weekend stay at the Hard Rock Wow, so that's really coming to that Jasmine is okay, but yes, so she was like that and but even that I'm like Come on people going to vacation. It's Atlantic City That's what she said she's like you know Chris like when you're gonna understand it like a vacation in Atlantic City is an Vacation for me like you like you also went in fucking December January.
Yeah in the winter you're going to Atlantic City Yeah disgusting. She's like you know like what about going to Puerto Rico and all that I'm like well I don't know if they have a comedy club in San Juan, so I couldn't I'm like I'm I'm gonna is somebody gonna pay me to make fun of J Wow's plastic surgery in San Juan Yeah, I don't think so yeah, so it's like what the hell do you want me to do and she's actually even that's been a big Right with her and I do understand it now, but she's like why does every single vacation we go on as a family? Why do you have to do stand up at the beginning or end? I'm like it's not pays for the trip.
She's like stop with that Every other adult goes away. It just goes away. Yeah, no one go no one an accountant doesn't fucking Go to a Marriott in Tuscany and say hey, can I do your books and try for a free hotel room? Yeah, they just work before the vacation.
Yeah, like that's that is again you being too stupid to understand things You're like well I have to pay for it while I'm there and it's like no dude You could just do a different you could do a gig the week before yeah, and if you could go to Columbus Yeah, right is that canceling you could just kept Columbus on the books use that money to pay for Puerto Rico You know, I'm saying how that works Chris, but it's yeah, we're not a direct you think we're in a barter economy still We're like can I tell some jokes for hotel rooms? No, just give us money I'm still living in the original 13th century I'm bartering with the Lenape to get goods and services to get us for the winter here Yeah, we have seven goats for the family so now so I'm actually nervous about this Jersey Shore Rose because I've never Rosed anyone I've never been a single roast ever zero and now listen the guys who crush out You know of course like, you know the Colin Quinn's the Tony Hinchlifts the Nikki Glazers these guys they're professional roasters They do it in a way that I marvel at I just have never been interested in being mean to someone else Yeah, I mean it's just not my thing I get I think the roasting stuff is really overrated I think like I miss when it was the because the original is fun It's like your friends who you shit like I want the only roast I was in doing so It was like if it's like your roast and it's like all our friends Yeah, and we're all shitting on each other like a loving yeah like way where it's like yeah You can make fun of like I just remember when when I first moved to New York Rose battle was the big thing sure right and pretty much you had to get stage time anywhere You had the way you worked your way and was do a roast battle so I did a couple and it's like and I dealt I roasted Ian and Nick and Molly and they were fun Those are my friends that was fun, but then it got to the point where you're just roasting people you don't know Yeah, and it's just like you just meet up with someone and it's like and then you just kind of alright Everyone just takes turns telling each other the worst things that ever happened to them Yeah, and then like so a straight you meet a stranger and they go okay So I got my mom has cancer. You probably get some good out of that Yeah, and it's like this isn't what comedy is yeah, and then it's also like I know them a little bit the cast of the Jersey Shore and I like them and we get along and it's like now I'm gonna say hateful things about them and probably blow up the relationship Yeah, I stay at the hard rock Yeah, I'm sure the hotel the casino buffets pretty good. Yeah, that's real But I mean they know what they signed up for that's real for the roast But I don't know I just think it's strange to roast someone you don't you knowing them a little bit makes it slightly better I think it's weirder now that we just roast people we don't know at all Yeah, and sometimes they're all this yeah You just you take a guy out if someone's fat you can make the same jokes about them that you do you know Yeah, it's just like paint by numbers that's all it is where I prefer when it was like and the great people that are great joke writers Can still find a couple ways around that you know yeah, but I don't I think I feel like I feel like you gotta really know The people for it to be fun.
Yeah, cuz then it's friends busting each other's balls Yeah, and also I'm sitting with this feeling I book this like a month I'm sitting with this feeling like just it's the only thing That's coming up that I'm like regretting and I'm like I'll do stand up I'll do stand up for people that don't speak English of course and just have fun with it in my own way I love doing stand up. I show you've ever done. Yeah, I like you more. Yeah, this is on our love This is yeah, these ideas are communicated to us.
Yeah, I'm like dude I gotta do more shows in Bangladesh And but I realized like oh I took a gig cuz I was like oh Jersey sure sure I'll do that and then I realized like There's been a lot of realizations for me in the past this past year I'm like oh wait a second I would just immediately say yes to something because it's like you have anxiety about your careers gonna go away or something Like I'm trying to be like moving forward. Hey like just have some confidence in yourself and your own abilities that you'll be okay You don't have to say yes to every don't say the majority of things you don't want to do Yeah, just say yes, yes, and so somebody told me you need to live 2026 like this and tell this to the fans Remember this kid's if you remember this folks It's a thing some guy told Chris that he has not yet put into effect in his life But just a thing he's planning to do yeah, listen up It's a thing and my and the friend who told me does live in his car, but he's doing it for his own reasons He said to me the way me to leave 2020 live 2026 is this if it ain't a hell. Yes, it's a no. Wow dude What do you think of that?
That's beautiful man. That's fucking awesome. That's a really good bumper sticker Yes, that's my merch such a fucking simple dinner Yes, it's a no that is being mass printed and being An Etsy shop. Yeah fucking 48 year old wine mom right now.
Who said it's Cabernet a clock somewhere Yeah, it's like who said it to him like Ricky Bobby I like that my personal I actually do have a motto as well. It is my It's my New Year's resolution every year and it's double the bread double the head nice So let's get twice as rich. Let's get sucked off twice as much and have the numbers Have you been doing that? No, it's unsustainable.
Okay, I double I started that when I was very broken It was like make more than eight thousand dollars and get sucked off more than twice And so the first few years I could do it but you're just with a prostitute like I got it these numbers Yeah, well there was one Oh, there was a there was one New Year's where I fuck the girl at a party Okay, like at 12 oh five and then I fucked a different girl like at like 1150 Oh, I was briefly on pace to fuck 300 to fuck 725 or whatever 365 times to is yeah, you know what I mean? So there was there was one day where there was one year where for one day I was on pace pace to fuck over 700 I think like four, but briefly I was like wow dude. This is something Yeah, I go with the Japanese one percent better each day You can just get one percent better that's more sustainable You're good now that the holidays are over you might be feeling like you've got a big spending hangover the drinks the holiday food The gifts it all adds up luckily mint mobile is here to help you cut back on overspending on wireless this January with 50% off unlimited premium wireless All plans come with high-speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5g network We've been using mint mobile for our office phones here at the studio It was so easy to switch over and working with them has been seamless this January quit overspending on wireless Plan start at $15 per month at mint mobile comm slash bears. That's mint mobile comm slash bears Limit time offer upfront payment of forty five dollars for three months ninety dollars for six months or one hundred and eighty dollars for twelve month plan required $15 per month equivalent taxes and fees extra initial plan term only greater than 50 gigabytes may slow when network is busy capable device required availability speed and coverage varies See mint mobile comm is the time of year to reflect on how far you've come and how much further you want to go The new year right around the corner It's time to let go of the excuses and start your business with Shopify We've been using Shopify to power our merch store for years and they've been a breeze to work with millions of entrepreneurs Have already made the sleep from household names to brands like ours here at YMH Shopify has everything you need to sell online and in person They have hundreds of templates to match your brand and built in AI tools to help you write headlines descriptions and even edit product photos in 2026 stop waiting and start selling with Shopify Chuck changed sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at Shopify Dot com slash bears go to Shopify dot com slash bears.
That's Shopify dot com slash bears Here your first chug ching this new year with Shopify on your side But I still like there's something about shooting the moon with double the bread double head that keeps you yeah keeps you focused Shoot for the stars, baby. Now. Let me just because it's you obviously respected comic Can I read some of these please I would love that? Yes, let's get into it.
Yeah, I'm gonna ask what are your angles now obviously You know the angle that I want to take is to kind of be the guy that's like look I don't want to be here either type thing I'm not a roaster like kind of take the approach like this is like like I don't like that I don't like being a half measure guy either you do it or you don't but I Respectful you're saying you respect there and you're like as fellow intellectuals. I don't want to be roasting you right Yeah, so it's more like like I want to say something like like where is it like you know like look dude Like I don't you know I respect you guys this is bad, but I got to be honest with you I mean this is a bigger slap in the face of my heritage than if I did an olive garden commercial Okay, then I say Vinny Guadagnino's here Vinny Guadagnino's doing stand up comedy now Welcome to the businessman GTL used to stand for Jim Tan laundry now. It stands for a got two or three laughs I don't know about okay Got two or three laughs that's not GTL got G got two or three TOTL. Yeah, it's not GTL That's GTO TL And then I'll say that's a good making fun of him for doing stand up is like they call down that act That's a good one because that is pathetic yeah now I was for years for years you were the one who had the most dignity and now you're doing stand up Yeah, and I feel like I feel like he always was high horse right that he used to pretend He was the best one of them right and it's like you're whenever you do stand up comedy whenever you start stand up in your 40s Yeah, you either just committed or you're like you have like tax issues.
Yeah, there's no there's no other things I was gonna say I was like in my situation GTL means grant daughter tax evasion lawyers Yeah, again, you don't understand how acronyms work Keep saying shit Um all right now make fun of MTV as a guys I'm a millennial I remember pre-internet when MTV was really for master Bading to rap videos and trying to finish while one of the dancers was on screen I like that not bad as my experience right needs a little bit more the what were some of your favorite videos to jack off to yeah Like one that comes to my immediately for me is the pd Pablo Like how you like it daddy? Yeah? Girl in the blue I follow her to this day on Instagram. Yeah, I jerk off to the bigy small videos Was it what when he's dancing in the mansion one more chance maybe I forgot that these are generating we're slightly different ages So I think I listen a lot of biggies music.
I never caught the videos I was much more in the I jacked off the Britney Spears videos. Yeah, I checked off to like I said pd Pablo Yeah drew held the thought Cisco's a thong song song from Baltimore Yeah, so I have some real pride from that It was very funny because I was in third grade with the thong song came out and our people were proud But it was at the thong song right I think that was there was the kids bought version of the thong song Can you guys look that up there was one that they played in our really yeah? All right, well, you can I'm about this one um But listen you guys all did pretty great. I mean great careers families product lines meanwhile Britney Spears is an empty mansion covered in dog shit Trying to step ghosts in our underwear I They're not doing better than Why Britney bro, yes just get her in there.
This is good for you. You need to feel this Ron. He looks like a sun-dried garlic Not I like that. I like that.
Yeah, let's get back to basics. Yeah, you know, you know snookies some oompa loompa. You're just pretest She's not even a test. She's adopted.
Yeah, you know that I'm going to be something about her family the one Italian family You know not racist the adopted she's not even Italian. She's Latino. That's why Isis here. Okay, okay First idea yes first idea not off in the best but you're gonna bone roll something Latino.
Yeah, I mean You have to shit on viny for doing stand up absolute that's only day like yeah, you know What else do we got I got yes? I mean I've wrote some real you know a few sneakers or any of them Whatever happens Ronnie who see who see are they together or still is anybody no Sammy? Sammy is the one that not there like got away like she's she's the one that got out She's not she's not a part of it. Okay, so that she's good.
Yeah, so you could you take it Attack to be there shitting on her or saying how she's the only one who is she should just cancel it? Yeah, it's what I've heard so far I would cancel at this point actually can I get out of it? Yeah, hopefully like is there a way is there a way at this point? How what would you do if you're a me you don't want to do it?
You're now realizing I don't cancel 100% But your name has been billed. I didn't sign a contract yet. Okay, well, maybe I did actually I mean It's not what I would probably just hire writers what out of this right? I would just be like alright I'm doing the gig pay somebody fucking about you know ten grand who's good at this shit Yeah, you know pay pay some real money for some good writers and just get some banger jokes We could even workshop some stuff if it wasn't you know if it wasn't sprung on me I could have maybe wrote you some jokes help just off the top of my head I would talk about you know classic steroids.
Yeah, you know do you like the situation? What's up with the situations face? Yeah? He's this you know the Maybe he was to a situation so much plastic sure they wouldn't even go in jail right?
Maybe something like that off the top of my head. Yeah. Yeah, something like like the Jersey Shore has done to New Jersey What COVID did to Wuhan? Yeah?
Yeah? Yeah? The Jersey Shore did to Italian culture what Israel is doing to hospitals. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty good. That's good The optics of the room will align that but God's in hospitals hospitals Israel Jersey Shore COVID Yeah, what was the one's plastic surgery couldn't get in jail? Yeah, I don't know I would just some I would get something about him being What about Sir J Paulie D's from Providence his hair spiked up.
He's a DJ Right, right. Um, there is something like he for the for a long time was the coolest one of them Yes, and it's start the clocks even taking on him. Yes, even he's kind of like getting uh, you know like is there a nutrogenics or Oh, yeah, he's gonna start doing like yeah, the Neutrogenics. Yeah, I see Alice commercial.
Yeah, like that Paulie D Paulie D Genics. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Neutrogenics Neutrogenics for Guidos, but is there a way is there a way like how do I make fun of me like how do I make how do I maintain a Sense of sure like ability and endearing, you know, cuz it might stand up I'm always making fun of me right right right so I can't so that's like a thing I don't want to come off as like someone superior to them. I mean something about how you wish you were in Jersey Shore Yeah, you're my audition actually. Thank you for you.
Yeah, that's funny right there Yeah, I couldn't even you're like here's how bad my career is going I auditioned for Jersey Shore Yeah, I wish I was getting roasted by one of you. I was vinny was the shitty comic roasting me instead of me being the shitty Comic roasting camera like that. I don't know something like that Probably I could talk about how much bet how much more fun how much better that what your Jersey Shore experience used to be Right these guys used to be the kings of Jersey Shore. I would go there, you know, right get shit my pants whatever Yeah, you guys you guys you know you guys made all this money and did all this great work off the Jersey Shore And I used to go to the Jersey Shore and do soul jones comedy club.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm like that Yeah, I would bomb it. I would bomb much like I'm bombing here. Yeah, that could stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah something And then there's I know you mean what tone what you want to be loving well?
Here's the problem to here's what it is is this thing They have like Rachel Feinstein is on it and a couple other comments But they have this bill this went out the marketing this went out the Jersey Shore rose featuring Krista Steppenow So I'm the last one up and it's this whole thing where like Vinny's coming in like okay you guys thought that was good Wait now I'm bringing in the closer and it's me and I have to pretend you got some kind of disease you think I have to get out of it Now I would try and get out of it. You're the last guy the land I mean I you know who else is on it Rachel Rachel I know is Rachel Feinstein like Eric Delasandro. Okay is the only one I know You're in the really the worst spot you could possibly yeah, this is actually not yeah, look what is it? You're the only person advertised Along with more surprise guests Comedy's very very special don't and don't miss a very special performance from comedy star Krista Steppenow I mean could I I mean listen do it at the end of the day.
I mean we could do it. You know I'm in control here You don't want to do it. Yeah, I don't have to do it But the question is should I just do it yeah, I would just work a lot harder on it than what you have so far I would actually you said yes you get back out of it now Yeah, but what I could do here's the thing here's the thing I've never asked I've never been the guy you know you and I've been friends a long time I've never asked you to like do right to promote anything to me right I've never so could I go into the my friend group you Sam or I'll mark Norman heavy hitters Colin Quinn and say guys Colin Quinn definitely I just need some help You imagine texting Colin hey Colin. I'm in a real tight jam.
I'm in I'm writing for I can't figure out jokes to roast with a jersey Short way to help me. Yeah, one of the fucking best comics. Yeah, I was doing who's doing like historical one-man plays You're like I need jokes about steroids and get botched plastic surgery. I'm too stupid to come up with him Can you imagine what we would say to you?
He would be texting him infuriated I think you could definitely ask but you should also go to the people like because here's another thing He's not really like these Rose. It's everyone hires writers right? It's not genuine right It's like it's who has the better relationship with writers And so I you know you could go to people who've been like I would do is just if I were in your position I would just get writers because this is you this if you do these shows you kind of have to get right you write your own stuff obviously But go to the best the michael or instead it for years. Yeah JP McDade you should honestly right go I'm telling you JP I mean you might not be able to get it because JP is probably running for the Golden Globes right now But you should go to like some of the bet and at least get a little brainstorming session going something No, unfortunately, this is not one you can wing you gonna cuz if it was stand up They said he got to do some of the same.
I know what I'm doing Yeah, I have sets based on that I can jump to the crowd But this is your behind a podium you have to expect in Rose So I'm going last all the and all the low-hanging fruit has been taken early Yeah, like the best spot to go in a roast is like second or third or fourth Yeah, right in the middle But when people aren't too tired someone goes first they get the worst spot and it almost feels like if you're gonna be the last guy On the Rose like who they want it like you need to get someone like a Jeff Ross Like they really wanted Jeff Ross and they could not they couldn't get him and then yeah And then she also didn't answer them and yes, it was definitely a yes You're first my first red flag on why should have said no to this is the initial offer came from Dino who owns a club called Uncle Vinny's And point twice in New Jersey, so that is the first problem when Dino was in the face Wasn't the club where they threw a fucking beer can at Ariel alive voting for Biden? Yes She's a full beer can and yes, and that's the guy who said we need to step now And I said you know I'm here for you Dino baby So I was a good club great club great pop stuff But there is a point now where I've reached we are now very close and it is at the point now Do I just say I'm not doing it's I feel like you it is too late Do I just say at this point do I need what is this gonna do for my career other than make it you work? Yeah, I mean no no you aren't a no-win situation and now all you can do is not lose right? That's basically let's come down to so don't embarrass yourself But your point is is you're gonna take the program to take this one on the show This is going on MTV's a sure you'll be immortalized.
Yeah, luckily. No one really gives a fuck anymore Yeah, I'm thirsty sure now do you but you think at this point I have watched a couple of you because it's very nostalgic Yeah, I can I think the first season of Jersey Shore before because afterwards It was kind of spoiled by celebrity Yeah, but that first season where no one knew who they were and they were so desperate for fame But they were their legitimate selves before outside in you know influences forced them to act a little different one of the best Season television ever. Yeah, it's a fascinating social experiment I love it to I remember why it was like fucking appointment right I was in college Right, he would just get it was like a perfect pregame show to go out and not get any person whatsoever But you know and since then it's still interesting to check in on them It's a little spoiled by fame the whole thing but but it is it you know, it still is a show people care about so it will become Best-case scenarios you bomb so hard that they just cut the whole thing from the show Yeah, they're just all they show is fucking yeah, and then I could actually obligated to get that money But you get the money. Yeah, yeah, yeah So you're too happy to try hard hire some writers to help you about some ideas or go full comic-assie Yeah, your pants on state you'll say so many so do it in blackface so they can't show it on MTV Interesting right the end word across your chest But with that crowd you'll be like my ticket skyrocket.
Yeah, dude. I don't know Yeah, I yeah, unfortunately, it's just one of these things where I just I should know I was convinced by my agent of course Convinced I got I got yeah My agent just came in and said this is what it is do it because my initial if I would have been taking the words going to 2026 if it ain't a hell Yes, I know I would not be in this situation So this is example number one example number one if it ain't a hell. Yes, it's a no because doing New Year's even read back New Jersey despite my family being upset about it. It's still a hell.
Yes, it's still a hell. Yes. I'm okay with that Okay, yeah, it's still hell. Yes, it's still a hell.
Yes because the money is easy Yeah, and my thing is like they're gonna be mad at me anyway, you know might as well make some money might as well not even try to make them I'm gonna fail anyway anyway. That's now that's a winner's attitude I I do think that this one is Jersey as a matter of fact Why don't you know some of the fans of two bears? Okay? Can you send in some rose jokes for me?
Help me out? Fucking funny. Yeah, I mean it could be you know, I mean Tom and Bert did it. Yeah when they were last year, right?
Yeah, so I'm gonna I'm gonna that's exactly what I mean It's like I thought that rose was fun and like I think it was good to try and do something different But that's my point about these things being so strange. It's like it's like you don't fucking know Tom Brady No, you know, you don't fucking know the Jersey Shore If you're doing if we're doing the roast of Joe de Rosa, huh? Fun that would be oh his friend. Yeah, you know, he is yeah, and all it's just like that's why I hate these fucking you know That's why I hate these fuck.
I just think these roasts are so I don't know I mean who am I to fucking I put out crowd with your fucking low lowest common denominator stuff It's just gotta do what you gotta do But it's just like I even though I haven't really done them for a year But I think if you're really good at them there and again There are people who are really good at crafting very specific roach jokes, but I think for the most part It's like pretty paint by numbers like, you know pick what this person is if they're if they're a woman caller a whore You know, I had a black boyfriend talk of be racist. Yeah, I mean It's really just the lowest common denominator when you don't have a personal relationship But you know the Jersey Shore I feel like that will fly yeah, racist be realistic Well the thing is the buckets we can look for is make fun of any water You know for doing stand up. That's a big one. That's the one make fun of J Wow for plastic surgery and all of them for Plastics and many to his credit.
I think has a natural face. Yeah a natural face make fun of Snooki for being small and Like you know, small and wanting something about her birth parents you she only More right about yeah, Snooki were her birth parents Really small and she's been ex-communicated by the Italian culture. She's like our doctor Fauci So some doctor calling her doctor. Well, you're doctor Fauci your doctor Fauci.
Oh, what do you mean Italian? He's Italian, but he's been ex-communicated because he made up COVID Right, right, right, right, right. I see so much still gets their news from the Staten Island examiner Yeah, the Staten Island advance So so I'm thinking maybe that's the angle there's an angle there DJ Paulie D Actually is a very successful DJ. Yeah, very successful from Paulie is the one who really finessed it the right way He did well.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah my situation to be being a fucking I guess there's old DJs. Yeah, they still do his hair the same way Yes, here's the same way that you know, it's got we look up DJ Paulie D today. Yeah, let's take it I saw I think I mean yeah, I believe he had a hot girlfriend or wife to yeah Yeah, that hair is crazy.
How does he keep that up? Yeah, I gotta be honest even like you know seeing these guys I just it's almost like I respect them. I respect the show. I don't actually want to be a part of this Yeah, is that his wife?
Oh gorgeous. Oh, there you go. There's some jokes right there. Yeah God why do I get myself into this?
Yeah, look up Jersey Shore now. Let's look at their faces But you know I gotta get an outfit. I mean the situation's face. I mean it's good.
They look hot. Absolutely. That's the thing It's like I actually you know. Oh, yeah, I also don't want to make fun of girls.
I know just doesn't work I mean, right. It looks like shit. Yeah, just fucking great. Sun dry garlic.
Not is good. Yeah, yeah That is really good. Ronnie does look like a fucking like right looks like a who's that who's that like I don't know if she's trans Or what with that Italian lady with a husky voice big edge. I think big.
Yeah, it looks like big age Who's dead she looks like yeah, right? Yeah, right now Yeah, right looks like big ends with a shape up. Yeah There's another there's another like there's another like Italian Sort of person who looks like this there was a clip there's a clip of them that goes viral. I don't remember Maybe that's a bit I come out for seven minutes and I just shit on Ronnie.
Yeah, I'm sure they've been arrested What you know, I'm sure I'm just gonna rest there for stuff Just look up their rap sheets look up all this other stuff. I honestly Snooki has maybe done the best She's done the best which there's a joke right there. Yeah, that's yeah, you were the most pathetic one when it started You actually figured it out you figured it all out. You've done you've done the best out of out of all of us actually Yeah, I always I mean I did love them though The first that first season was truly truly a legendary season of television So unfortunately I'm gonna have to go on the internet Google look stuff up.
This is what you'll have to do It's Angelina looking good these days. I don't know Angelina does look good. Yeah, she clawed. Oh that bitch What was her name?
Dina Dina when she the one who got kicked off Didn't want it which one of them was like they came late like they got to often got replaced I think Dina was a replacement Dina replaced a Dina Sammy Sammy sweetheart, I believe and then was it there one who was just the front? He was just the Sammy sweetheart actually got out of it Sammy you're right Angelina's the one I'm thinking of Sammy's pretty hot Sammy Sammy just got out Sammy sweetheart got out of the Jersey Short now she just looks like a girl out of sex with her students Teacher of sex with her students. Yeah, that's good. All right, something like that.
Yeah, I'll figure it out I want no you won't yeah, I have to fucking hire people. Yeah, that's this might be the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you if it goes Wrong. Yeah, yeah, but apart from the course we talked about that your whole career has been yeah Series of near near near misses near misses so close so maybe this is able to touch the thing Yeah, and then then them like no sorry Sammy looks like a teacher Folks you see how we said we were gonna do the worst episodes ever Yeah, this is a writing session for one of the shittiest comedy shows that anyone's ever gonna put on yeah Roast of the Jersey short the fucking border. Yeah, and we're making companies put ads on this piece of shit power We're gonna we're gonna miss our flight back to New York trying to come up with joke about how snookiest comedy Yeah, man, well, I mean, you know what what you're gonna do for New Year's Eve.
What's your plans? No shows? No shows. I hate comedy shows.
Here's the thing there They're often pay really well because it's a it's an event But no one and this guy I don't want to say this to people listening because we have a lot of comedy fans And I'm a lot of a lot of when you're coming up New Year's a really lucrative gig because people pay a lot of money for like a dinner And drinks package or whatever and they'll go see whatever but nobody actually wants to be a comedy show on New Year's Eve Most people they want to be talk they get there and they think it's a fun idea But it's people don't really go to comedy shows not there for the comedy They think it's like oh that guy will do his comedy while we talk and laugh and have fun They're not there to actually see the show so you just have to prepare for it to be the worst show of all time Yeah, and I'm doing two of them one at eight and one at ten ooh At least the eight maybe people will listen it'll be it'll be like pre-gaming for them the ten will be you're getting the audience That's coming to that are people who are already legit hammered and people by the time I start to get into my closer They're looking at their watch like I need to get somewhere to watch the ball Yeah, I gotta get off stage right now one time I saw I did see Louie on New Year's Eve in Baltimore back in the day with my college before his career blew up before It was like Louie Louie Louie it was kind of right in the middle of it Yeah, and it was really funny He just like he was just like looking at his phone and he was like alright New Year's it was kind of fun. Yeah, everyone's looking at a left hand. All right, that's it and they're like see it Yeah, I mean just literally got off it's well. Yeah, it was what killed all the fun.
Yeah, yeah Really it was cool to fucking see him there, but lyric theater was it maybe the one bigger than the lyric Oh, okay, so like the Meyerhoff or some shit. Yeah, five thousand lyrics like the lyrics pretty big There's like twenty five hundred. Yeah, which I love that place. I'm trying to figure out.
I will be going back We're figuring out the specifics of it a little hint for for yeah, a little something might have something very special planned Oh, you do knows who knows who knows you're roasting the Ravens What would you do if that okay here? What about this die hard Baltimore Ravens fan? What would you do if our ball called you in? I was like I want you to like the teams in the Super Bowl I think a roast of them would really get them in good spirits and have fun loosen up But you do that I would and the way I would do it is like I said I would just hire writers But I would also because it's the way if it was like going in the super I would lightly shit on them and then more than anything I would just make fun of the other teams Yes, like you know what I mean?
I would call Ben Rothers burger. Yeah, you know, I would maybe yeah I would do I would do I would call the Sean Watson or Yeah, that's kind of pretty easy to make those jokes about the NFL. Yeah, I also domestic abuse Yeah, I would stay away from murder. Yeah, that really wouldn't be a topic I would bring up around I he had his day in court the criminal justice system worth the weight he was acquitted as was Kevin Spacey Raylors didn't have to come out of the closet.
I loved Kevin Spacey's like I'm gay now. Yeah, you know I mean that was so funny when Kevin Spacey was like, oh, yeah, I'm actually gay. So yeah, I guess it's okay that I Then he kept coming back into it. There's like in character videos.
Those were crazy. Yeah, I mean Tim Yeah, you got it. You got it. You got to tip your cap to Tim for employing a an out of work now It says I'm abroad wrote in a question said which of you winter bears is gonna do a solo guest bear episode first And who would be the guest?
Oh, so they want us to just fully do the podcast. They want us to take them I asked you the people running the network the legal team is right outside that boy You're gonna they're gonna show for us to our flight well It's very funny because they don't even want to make eye contact with the producers here Yes, you know, I mean they don't even let them know they talk through iPads. Yeah, you know, they're behind a wall They can't be seen they don't want to have an actual relationship By the way, this is a huge operation if you ever get you know if any of the fans ever know I mean this is a huge thing I've multiple employees and they are one ad sponsor away from pulling out where Benson spoons get fired Well, they don't have the money for his salary anymore Where they will do our idea to start prosecuting out Benson spoon. Yeah, this is gonna go This is gonna go from this you know went from LA to Austin Out in this huge warehouse facility.
They have all these beautiful cameras and green screen equipment all that and then eventually little by little It's gonna wind up just as a live show at the mothership It's gonna open for a kill Tony. Yes, that's what it'll be. Yeah, and that's what it'll be beautiful That'll be a beautiful thing so well I would say one thing one problem I have with the if I may do some, you know We've been the ombudsman we've talked about how the show is going I think a problem with two bears when they have a guest bear never fat And the whole and first of all Tom has Tom has betrayed the very idea of the show and you to a certain extent You know even though in your heart your fat I'd like you to be fatter too. Yes if I were to do it It would have to be someone who is fat as shit, right?
You know, I don't know who you know what major who is out there that merits what? Yeah person have they had a woman has always been have they ever had it was there been a woman on two bears miss Pat would be Perfect miss Pat. I don't want to waste on to bear. That's a stop.
It's yeah Can't be too good. Yeah, yeah for my own Yeah, yeah, no misspads do good miss that it's great But it's somebody like famous that I because that one funny thing about two bears It'll be like someone they have no business talking to yeah I mean like a wise Matthew Con hey here They need like a fatty like Eric Stone Street for modern family you'd be good great. You'd be good Gabrieling Glaseous fluffy right fluff. I love to chop it up with for sure talk about you know What oh if you think on the Christmas episode I talk about my Chinese order you understand how long me and Gabrieling Glase could go Just talking like things we order.
Yeah, I bet you we could uninterrupted for one-hour list foods. Yes. Just keep going just that would actually be fucking awesome Yeah, I mean, you know, I mean, well, I mean, we'll lose you guess I was a bit happens. That's okay, but I don't know who the fuck that is the undertaker I think she's really famous.
I think I'm gonna talk what I'm gonna take a would have been a good episode for with Bert You can just give him some tips on yeah, he's gonna die Yeah, yeah Sometimes gun that's cool. Oh that's cool. Oh that's that oh fat director Gjelmo de Rtoro. Okay.
That'll be really funny Me and Gjelmo de Rtoro talking about fucking pans labyrinth. Yeah, yeah, not that many not that many fat people He's like mark Norman. There's like ripped. Yeah, he's not gonna work But yeah, I would say Gabriel and Glaseous for me Because I would I would want I would want to keep the other like they've had stamos on that's a dream stuff He's real guess I gotta get him on a Greek show.
Yeah, you know, let's get him Let's really let's really get him in the zone. Yeah again. This is we are this is our side job Yeah, we don't you know this is like when you're dating someone and you actually see people you respect out in public and then you stop holding hands Them real fast, right? That's how me and Chris treat this podcast.
Yes. We don't want to be identified as this No, we post but we are contractually obligated to post and not a piece of content You know like that couple that got caught having an affair on the cold People like I love you and Chris on two bears if they see us which people have actually been very nice But when they see me probably like are you sure me? That was H fully. Yeah, I think you're the age fully Much like the pros to the Jersey Shore because we're gonna have to roast and then also say nice things about them because you have respect Respect yours what these town and bird have created is pretty and sick relax Chris what they have it is Trying to do a little smoother than that Let one let's just change the topic and then at the end.
Let's go But obviously we're friends with Tom yeah burnt on but don't immediately be like now It's beautiful. Yeah, I do love that about Rose where someone who clearly doesn't have a relationship with someone Yeah, we'll be like you fucked your daughter in the ass. You're a fucking piece of shit, but hey We love you big guy. Well, I'm just because I'm now trying to really systematically get out of this Jersey Shortening and I'm thinking how I can replace that is my spring bears locking it now That's true.
That is true. You're already thinking about spring bears We will be back even lower if they'll have us will be back with even lower effort Oh, dude, you know how bad spring bears is gonna be starting like March. It's just us with allergies Just all flow names out tired from denogrel just really trying to just shit through four episodes I do hope to be yes. I do hope that's my new year's resolution.
I'd love to let's see how far we can push We should get shittier audio we should get shittier audio quality sure you should your cameras Yeah, we should see how low we can take the form of podcast. Yeah, that should be like our artistic Yeah, like that. It's performance art right. Let's take this medium and really push it to the way not even in the shot It's just have our heads.
I like that. Yeah, we're doing it backwards. Yeah, we're doing it like ID the idea of their fucking I'm taking their their ID pictures like this. I got that for Tom.
Then you go off Brooks card That's beautiful. That's beautiful. I just knocked it over. Yeah, what's that Garth Brooks card?
Because you know he's got like the few like the thing with Garth Brooks. Oh, what's the car? He called the car Garth Brooks played like in a celebrity baseball game and I got an embroider that Garth G Brooks 300 bodies Oh, yeah, I was priced in Garth suit Tom for that. I mean, I'm sure he's in there in an act.
I was gonna imagine Yeah, probably yeah, I'd imagine that's why Tom doesn't ever come back to his house. Yeah. He doesn't want to get served papers Like I'm not gonna imagine He's just fucking fleeing that would actually be that should be our guest on to bear's one He's fat and he just serves a dual purpose that is the answer to your question on the broad is the guest would be Garth Brooks That is the guy is a good one. That is the guess bring him in that is and then what else do we got here?
We have it. There's the booth have any any final a final New Year's thought they want us to do or well Here's a question from Johnny. We when I was a kid I always wanted an AR 15 for Christmas I unfortunately never got it because I was deemed mentally unfit to stand trial What was the one child to Christmas gift you always wanted but never got right? You can tell you didn't even pre-read that because we talked about that last episode.
Yes, and it's about Christmas I literally asked you you had no good answer that actually might have been the dead spot of the last episode Right, you actually re you rehash that topic of discussion. No that nothing funny came out of right and that's the kind of work You'll see the short rows and you know what Chris I salute you because that's the perfect way to end our tenure as the for winter bears is a Unfunny reach-readed My best one was a game-cube though. I didn't I never answered on Christmas. Okay when the game I was pretty late I was pretty I was older, but it was like me and my brothers.
We've never bonded right more than we got that game cube playing Star Fox and sure it was a fucking good time. That's it I am excited about 2026 good I know I I do as much as I make fun of your hell. Yes or no how tried and and like that's the most like a Woman who's been in a sexless marriage for 30 years and yeah, she's embroidering that on a throw pillow as we speak By the way, that is how I will end the Jersey Shore roast is that quote? I love that when someone's bombing and they try and pretend They're doing an inspirational speech, but anyway guys stay up you guys are the best man And I love you so much and if it's and remember if it's not a hell.
Yes, it's a no try I get the ice and say nobody says it's like it's a speaker Yeah, I'm excited for 2026. I you know hopefully Tom and Bert keep not caring about this show and keep asking us to come in and fill in some time Yeah, we'll be here for spring bears and then summer bears again finger fingers crossed to it fingers crossed We'll be here But we love you. Thank you for allowing us to be your substitute teachers for these four weeks We really really rolled out we really brought out the fucking TV of the cart Yes, the roll cart and we just played Fern Gully and we and we called that that was for we're a substitute teaching like Environmental science and we just play a cartoon about that's it about fucking We will talk to you guys. Hey, who knows come see us on the road by the calendar.
We have the Stavi's world I got the calendar the 2026 calendar for sale now I'm on the road the final leg of the dreamboat tour and we're trying to figure out when we're gonna We're trying to make plans to film the special at the end of it So come see this material for the last time live Stavi dot biz listen to Stavi's world all that good stuff watch me on YouTube all that good stuff do it up Do everything stuff you just told you to do also listen history hyenas coming out to every Thursday and Christy comedy calm The only show I have on sale right now is in charles town West Virginia So I'm racing I'm come see the show I might be doing Vegas in February But the goal is to stay in the original 13 colonies right and just kind of read you know just get freedom back into our Sees beautiful. Thank you for cool. See you guys bye bye I'm Tom Tom and Bert one goes top is while the other wears a shirt Tom tells stories and Bert's the machine there's not a chance Hell they'll keep me here's never called two bears one day