Welcome, I've seen things you people wouldn't believe later on our total recall Belgium Screamers impostor my norriti report paycheck. No. Yeah, we did sorry What you raise my memory after we did it much like the premise of the movie paycheck It's been a way to continue my list of things you people wouldn't believe that I've seen a scanner darkly and now 2007's next Thank you next oh we did watch this movie. I think kind of I kind of watched it.
I had it playing man, this is This is a movie that it feels like a dream where you're like when you're in the middle of a dream and you can't really remember It's all present moment right like it. You can't remember what just happened Yeah, you know, it's just like fucking just a train moving forward Like yeah, that's how he felt about this. I'm like what hour are we on of this movie? What has happened so far Via did you know that?
FBI agents can be named Cali Ferris. No, they can't they absolutely can absolutely cannot Has really one of the more like aggressive miss castings I've ever seen as Julianne Moore as an FBI agent But with that mind, I just want to say congratulations to everyone who got paid And congratulations to all the Hollywood financiers who successfully sheltered their money from the tax man Yes, they were able to launder money through this movie The Julianne Moore thing is crazy because she does play Special FBI agent Clarice Starling in Hannibal the god, that's right Which I mean it's not a good movie in and of itself. I remember her being like fine Not as good as like Joey Foster, but it's like a different. Yeah, the movie is bad This is great like her performance in this is like I you know, I don't know anything about Julianne Moore's personal life, but she seems peeled out this entire movie And who could blame her?
I mean like it's the all you got to do is like Look, this is a ladies scene movie She knows how to do like tough his nails cop type You just be like I needed that done 10 minutes ago And I guess Nick Cage is then like I knew about I knew you needed that done 12 minutes ago. Yeah, right? It's sort of a premise. That's kind of the premise.
Yeah, um, but yeah, it's it's nice to see her I'm happy she got paid money to do uh, you know act with both hands tied behind her back Right, this is right. This is the yeah, uh, and who knows how many pills she was on Maybe the scene from Magnolia really happened Um, oh, yeah, the one where she's where she yells at that as a freaky freaky freaky yeah, yeah, yeah Oh, I should have let her do something like that. You know what's interesting is like if you had that plus Nicholas Cage you do get our friday film They're similar scene. Oh, there's a whole scene.
Yeah, they both had scenes where they yell at pharmacist. Yeah. Oh, that's fun Isn't it? That's a weird little fucking similar Um, yeah, I mean it got so you say friday film of course You're talking about the movie that we're gonna be talking about this friday on patreon.com slash king v pod sign up for five dollars a month And you get a new bonus episode every friday.
Uh, we've been doing double features So this week we're doing next on tuesday and then on friday. We're doing another Nicholas cage movie. We're calling it the raging cage in Bad lutein and port of called new Orleans Uh, so two colons two colons whole thing. Yeah, maybe an oomle also and of course always colon You know cage in cage in cage in cage in cage in new Orleans.
There's of course the new Orleans of it all. Yeah, yeah Um, now I haven't seen bad lieutenant, but so correct me if i'm wrong, but that's about a um A lieutenant who eats at two fe. That's so spicy. He turns bad.
Yes, it turns bad. He's our name. It's his villain origin story Yeah, so uh, that's this friday on patreon.com slash king v pod check it out. Okay.
Oh, you know me You can also i'm gonna check it out and see what's up. Um, but today we're talking next from 2007. Uh, oh and by the way, uh, This is dick me. Oh, yeah, it's dick me.
We didn't say it. No, no, it should be abundantly clear Yeah, this is of course based on a uh, short story by field k dick called the golden man from 1954 Rob yes, sir. How many times have you read the golden man? I can't stop reading the golden I know I know curse theory forever.
No, I can't tell you how many times i've been talking to you Can't I can't talk right now. Look away. I look away for one second and I look back You got that damn like a my book up here. No, yeah, I got my nose right in the book Um, you can't you can't we had to we had to get you a corrective back brace because you wouldn't stop curling up with a good book This book this one.
Um, no, of course. I've never read the golden man. Um, this is uh Probably I mean maybe the biggest departure from the source material. Did you read it?
We read no, but I read the plot summary Which is just as good if not better. Okay, because it's same me sometime So it's about the golden man. Mm-hmm, right what is consistent with the short story is that It's about tracking down like a frickin freaky mutant with similar powers to nikage However, the eponymous golden man and I'm reading directly from my capedia here Yes The eponymous golden man is a beautiful yet feral young man named chris with gold colored skin in the proportions of a Greek god Oh shit He possesses no language but has the ability to see into the future specifically the ability to see all possible outcomes from any single action Um, they describe it as being similar to like a master chess player who that's running through all these possibilities That's I think you should have looked like that. Yeah, that sounds good Like nik cage plane like don't change the casting.
No, you could leave it just paint him paint him gold. Yeah I love gold. I mean If they can't change it himself gold and said I love gold. I love gold.
I love gold Kind of yeah, yeah, yeah, I think that would have ruled um, yeah Now this isn't like that really at all. Um, all kind of maybe but they take the this just sort of the loose premise of A man who could see into the future or the outcomes and just sort of uh They'd cherry pick what they want here. This is about a man who can see two minutes into the future and he uh, he uses that ability to uh, uh, To perform close-up magic. Yeah, and uh, and win at blackjack.
Yeah, um, which is yeah I mean, that's what you would do. I think if I get six minutes into the dang future, um, he's basically got the same power as, um, doggy from twin peaks Um, right remember doggy goes to the oh when he goes to the casino. He's just you know, he levers. Yeah.
Yeah, that's true. Um, This movie is directed by lee tamahori harvey auswah No, he's a harry so he's directed a bunch of stuff. Um, most of it is like not good. I would say Um, there is his first movie that I'm like aware of is once we're warriors Which I have not seen but I've heard like only good things about it right about this like, um Samoan community or whatever and like sort of the Just sort of like the tough lives that they live in whatever very much like a drama and whatever Um, and then after that's like maul hullen falls, which I don't think is hey speaking of david lynch.
Yeah. Oh, hey maul hullen falls Something Yeah, we can fix that boat. We should get like a plug-in like a logic pro plug-in that just finished Yeah, yeah, yeah, um What else the edge along came a spider die another day the james bond movie Uh triple x state of the union the one with ice cube. Mm.
Um Nothing really nothing nothing like super great here. Uh next is just like It's just sort of it seems like whatever. It's a journeyman director and he's fucking making a movie. Okay.
Um Who's in this damn movie lots of people You got well you got a cage. Yeah, we got an occasion julienne more. That's right. Um, they place an occasion plays chris johnson aka frank catalog that's his stage name Um, yeah, who can see two minutes into his own future.
Yeah Uh julienne more plays fbi agent cali ferris. Yeah, okay who is trying to track him down to um Um thwart a plan to detonate a nuclear bomb in los angeles, correct the russians are doing it The russians are doing it. I like did I just say you know in this? 2007 Uh very much like post cold war.
We're already on to like 2007 We are deep into the war in iraq and shit. I like to see movie that's like playing the hits, you know Still worried about the russian. Yeah, I don't know what the russian is Does feel like uh just pick someone who's not really relevant. Yes.
Let's not push any buttons. Yeah, exactly Um You got jessica beal in this movie. Yeah, she's uh america's sweetheart jessica beal Man when there was a time when people were really trying to make her put her in movies make her like a movie star Uh, she's just got there's just one issue with Of course, I would you hear to guess what it is? Of course that issue is uh, she's very bad.
It actually is really not a good actor. She's not a good actor. It's I mean The her character, uh, of course she plays was gooper Uh in this movie her character has very little to do. I think she's really just there to sort of like just be like oh I don't know what's going on.
Yeah, she's like uh, she's supposed to be very uh very hot and nice And the end is like the end of her as a character as a whole person. It's not even two-dimensional. I think it's one-dimensional She's a line lady one-dimension I Will say yeah watching this you are like she is like insanely Insanely beautiful. No, she's an insanely beautiful and fish person I think she kind of looks like a fish.
Do you think she looks like a fish? Maybe a little bit like a fish maybe like one of the fish from fishtail where they look like the actors who play them Maybe that's it. Maybe that's what I'm thinking of you ever see the Mardi square sassy fish. Yeah, I guess how big a tie-bros are fucking huge.
Yes Um, no, I think she's insanely beautiful in such a way that like I get Like as like a movie producer or whatever. You're just like we gotta be able to make this work, right? Right like Yes, and also she she's on what seventh heaven which ran forever. Yeah, which like the only I never watched the show of course And the only thing I know about it now is like the the small clips that I see on like tick tock or whatever that are all Insane.
It's all like is this show or no that's say by the bell right where someone gets addicted to caffeine pills That is say by the bell. Okay. This one also has a pills episode. Yes, this one So like the the dad on the show is a some sort of a minister Um also the actor who plays the dad in real life like a pedophile, right?
Yes, um, so gross But the show like from what I've seen up the clips. It's very like every episode feels like a very special episode About this week. It's about rap music or you know, it's always about like some shit that really doesn't matter This feels very like proto like Um, I don't even know what they're called but like you know, they're like streaming channels now for christ. Just faith-based streaming channels.
Yes Yeah, yeah, that's the term. Yes. Yeah, this is because I don't say the show is the show is not really like explicitly like Christian I think it but I mean like it's very conservative. It's very conservative, but and you're right It's not like it's not you know, uh, you know, they're not reciting like bible versus specifically But here's what we can say about it.
Um, the parents television council Pre- uh considers it among the most the top 10 most family-friendly shows, which is a damning indictment. Yeah, that's um It promotes honesty respect for a parent for parental authority And the importance of a strong family and a good education. This is all bad. It's all bad somehow somehow It is all bad.
Yes. I don't think any of those things are inherently bad, but like anything that sounds like There would be like a 50s like educational film reel about it. I would be on like, uh, mystery science theater or something I don't sure before a feature. Yeah, I don't trust that that's scary.
No, of course It like this is how you make America great again. Honestly, like Oh, this this is it promotes honesty and and respecting your parental figures and all this stuff You're like that's literally sounds like the most boring possible show right? It's like um, it's good people trying to do nice things all the time and you're like, oh, well, okay I guess that's good for my grandma who wants to watch tv But like, you know, is there any conflict outside of like somebody smelling pot at a concert or whatever? It's like it's not even uh devian goliath.
It's like devian devi. Yes. Yeah, so uh, shout out to I mean Who's not gonna know what that is right out there? Everyone remembers that Jessica beel Vavavoom misses Justin Timberlake.
Um, is that right? Yeah, they're current or former. No, I believe current Um, really I believe that they've been married for Quates since 2012. That's that's pretty good run.
That's a solid run. I you know Whatever Damn, Jessica. I love you so much. That's when they first started dating how we talked that is you know, just come see you fly All right, i'm Justin Timberlake This just in i'm Justin No, boy.
No, so it'll always be the pilot abelar is that a lean abelene? That's it'll always be good. Good. Good.
Good pull It's one of the it's a very funny name. I We I think we had talked about it on the show But when I was working in lupucci came into the bar and I talked to him for a bit. We actually didn't talk about on the show It was before that was before yeah, yeah, so rob it rob met I did her lupucci. I did meet lupucci from the evil dead remake and several other films And I completely forgot that he was in south land tales and I when I realized it much You know two months later.
I was kicking myself. I wanted to know so much about that experience If I ever see him again, that's the first thing i'm going to a costume about You blue parentheses it poochy. That's yes because you can blow them. No, no, so you blew it to poochy But that doesn't that you're implying that i'm poochy and I have to go back to my home go back to your home plan right So this movie Jessica Beals and or Jessica Beale.
I'm sorry who else we got Thomas Kretchman As mister sniff So hard when I get my mouth around yeah, Tori kittles Uh, why do I know his name is he somebody no his name sounds like skittles? Oh, you know, I'm thinking of the pro football player George kittle. That's right. Yeah.
I got them mixed up Jim beaver as nsa director wisdom. What the hell are you talking about man? That's crazy. That's a crazy thing I just said Jim jim beaver is the is is nsa director wisdom.
Yeah, um But jim beaver is even here He's on deadwood right jim beaver. Yeah, he plays elsewhere of course of course, uh, yeah The man the simple man of virtue who cares for the widow. What's her name? What is her name?
I have no idea. Um, you watched it didn't you? No, I haven't finished it yet, but she's in like every episode the widow I don't know damn you're the deadwood guy. You're the dead here.
Do you know the lady from From what the from 1922 sure I remember I remember we watched the the thomas jane movie 1922 Molly parker, uh, of course molly parker Um, yeah, put some respect on deadwoods name ASAP Um, how would you say hose is last name there? Dan? Oh, I'm not gonna touch that one. There are too many lines over it.
Yep Jose zuniga Zuniga there you go. Um, it's like we know we've seen it before in the movie the dark tower. He was in that I'm sure you don't remember it because yeah, no, he's not hoshkiss right? Yeah, because that's impossible to remember I believe um Was he what was he like the child psychiatrist?
He must be he must be it was also working for randal flag probably That's right. Um, got you gotta give a shout out to michael trucco always always got a shout out trucco a trucco sighting Um Trucco of course being a uh, flan man. Yeah, he's a flanigan guy. He's a flanigan guy.
Yeah Um Please go back in this movie. Just like yes, he does. Yeah, right just a single scene, but yes one of the Maybe the best performance in the movie. Yeah, I'm actually gonna say like I'm banging the gavel Yeah, you said you think michael trucco runs away with next 7 you're the yeah, I mean the the competition is Slim, uh, you know what he's up against here.
Everybody is on some sort of downer. Um, it's true Well, yeah, hey spien of downers. Uh, you know who else is in this is uh nick cage's ex wife now ex wife alice kim cage Yes, she plays girl with necklace. Yes, we could forget oh, you know who's in this Who still gets out out fucking shined by michael trucco Who legend of of the screen peter falk.
Oh my god if we're kind of peter falk is also in this briefly Yeah, what is going on there? Yeah, he plays erv um a man who his entire purpose is to just bounce uh, sort of exposition off of Um, that's his entire they're like we need somebody we need like a face like a name like old for whatever reason They're like we need to get like a recognizable guy in here. Give me get me columbo Um so very sure yeah, I don't know. I don't know how this happens.
This is like a favor to someone's nephew. It must be right. Yeah, um So this movie down Next next 2007 run time like two hours. No, like it has no right to be two hours long for maybe four hours Um flabby.
Yeah, it's an hour and a half and it feels infinite Yeah, so it is it is two hours, but each minute in that hour contains within it 30 minutes Yeah, it's actually much longer. So the movie opens we get a little bit a little bit of vegas some of the flash Isn't that the sparkle where I call it wages? I call it that again. Yeah.
Okay. Um real last time Yeah, no, no you do I do um Of course we know vegas very well for movie showgirls a good movie a better movie than this terrific film Um terrific film and we see frank catalac who's just like he's wearing like a tux But it's got like the undone bowtie and he's a two. He's a two bit. He's a bit.
He's playing in a small Small club. He's got two bits to his name. Yeah, um, he's got two minutes. Yeah to it for a minute And his whole shtick like he is the You know, it's presented as frank catalac the man who knows what you're gonna do before you do it, right?
Which is yeah, it's that's a terrible log line That is if like if you were in some shitty casino and that was the thing like the the poster It was just like I just keep walking like that's that that sounds terrible. Yeah, that's just an annoying guy That's guy who cuts you off in the mail your sins. Yes so that he can talk but we see his act Um and he gives sort of a Um, you know, it's it's all like cheap vegas sort of shit where he like points makes a guy out He's like where are you from? He's like, um, I'm detecting a bit of soul I think you're a soul man and the guy's like i'm from korea and he's like thank you And uh and then he calls the woman up and and the woman being his wife our name is liskem cage Um and he's like wouldn't it be amazing if I could predict that your necklace is going to the class one your necklace is going to break And uh, it's gonna fall into your drink wouldn't that be amazing folks and then he's like three two one and it just does and people are like Okay There's a real underwhelming sort of element to it which I guess is like in a you know It feels kind of intentional right because it's just you're painted as this like nobody the schmuck which is the point Yes, but it doesn't read at all because this is not a good movie correct Um, but in the audience also Is that fbi agent cali ferris and her partner?
Kevin all okay, um, yes it is actually that And uh, kavan is kind of like I don't understand why I have to watch a fucking I in graduate top my class quantico I in graduate top my good top marks from quantico and I took Come on magic. I gotta say i'm on kavan on side here. Um, I want this to be done with yeah Yeah I love julian more character throughout this entire thing is like no We need this magician to help us find the nuclear weapon and everybody at the FBI is like what are you talking about? Jim beavers Uh, I love the the scene between them where she's like, you know She's showing in the video of him when he's playing cards and he gets busted all that kind of shit And he's like I don't yeah all this like means nothing to me and she's like i'm telling you he can see into the future And he's like you got five days to figure it out.
I'm like what five what are you talking about? There's a bomb there's a nuclear bomb And you're giving her five days to try to to debunk a magician. Yeah, that's crazy Um, we're not even debunkers. She doesn't want to do that.
No to like get him Yeah, we'll get into it, but uh, so we see after the show he goes to uh blackjack table Wins some money, but not like he has yeah We get some like voiceover like he has these rules where he's like you never bet too big and you can't have a bad You're big You don't want to bet so much that they know that exactly So he's got he's not hit me and you have these like security guys. They're watching him on the cameras and whatever and they're like You know, he's winning, but he's not counting because like, you know, it's like a I think it's like a five or six deck shoe and we keep shuffling and switching it out There's no way that he could be counting the cards Uh, you know, he has to have some other system, but if he has another system, why is any betting harder or like, you know, all this shit, right? And then the headed guy, uh roibel is like, all right, let's pick him up Which but can I just say uh sounds like a noise that uh professor frank would make Yeah, roibel Uh, I was thinking maybe it would be like something the hamburger would say also like roibel roibel roibel Yes, yes, yes, so um, yeah, so they go to Now this scene Dan where he's on the casino floor and they're trying to get him right and he keeps like Dodging and like they're like going down this alley of uh slot machines and he like because he can see into the future He knows where everybody's gonna be where they're gonna be looking and all this stuff, right? At this point in the movie we're only about eight minutes in i'm like, oh, this is actually kind of fun Like this it's silly.
Yes, it's very silly But i'm like the one shot where there are two like security guards standing there and he's like walking right behind them And the guy on the in the earpiece is like he's right behind you turn around and he like as they're turning around He just like diff stays kind of behind them. Yeah, just like sort of dips just out over there purview Uh That's that's fun. All of that stuff. I thought was very fun and silly and i'm like, oh, this is like the tone of the movie Where it's just gonna be kind of like whatever.
We're just doing like silly bullshit. We're doing like uh You know like vaudeville. Yeah I'm like comedy. I'm on board for this like this will be this is actually this might be a good time Um that he goes the it's when he's going to like cash out chips or something like that But like somebody is about to rob the yeah, that's so yeah He's cashing out chips and we see a guy come up to the The little window next to his and pull a gun.
Yeah, and he puts a bullet in the cage. No, oh Maybe knows I forget. Yeah, I don't know he shoots two people. I don't know But and then we realize that what we're seeing is it hasn't happened yet.
Yes, it's like it happened for two minutes Yes And or for pacing sake. Yeah 10 seconds. Yeah, yeah, so cage like stops it from happening Grabbeds like guys gun and just then like security surrounds him. They're like, you know They're like put the gun down.
He's like no. No, this guy was gonna he was gonna shoot two people You have to believe me and whatever and then some of my gun Is some mine tears then he takes off running. I'm gonna go. Yeah, I gotta go Stills a car Um all this stuff where he's like again It's all like he can see into the future so he knows exactly where to turn and where he you know stuff eventually like Drives over a railroad crossing where the train is just my train.
Yeah Yeah, first we get the CGI train hitting the CGI car and it looks great It looks there are two CGI trains in this there is yeah There's also an old timey train the the graphics the special effects are very bad, but yeah, um So the first time around the train hits him. He's like I have to go faster. So he goes I don't like that. I don't like that.
I got hit by that train It doesn't like it. I have to change the outcome somehow Go faster. Yeah slower. No because then they'll get me to go faster.
That's right Uh, so he uh, so he makes it pass the train and he's able to escape and then he hides out at herbs Right while this is happening. This is when julienne more has a conversation with jim beaver about getting this guy to help find the nuclear bomb That's been stolen and all this and jim beavers like you have five days And they're just fucking for that agency. That's crazy billions of dollars. So yeah, sure um And then we get this whole fucking scene of of Uh, chris angel slash chris johnson here chris johnson mike freak.
Yeah, he's a mind freak. Yeah Um, him and erv talking and being like what's this car? Oh, it's just a car. I stole my way here Yeah, you're gonna get in trouble one of these days and no i'm not erv remember i see two minutes into the future Well, well one of these days that that future site or whatever the hell you call it It's not it's not gonna work and Are you talking about in the case of the girl I keep seeing in my dreams?
Well, yeah, I mean you can only see two minutes into the future But except with her Exception with this one girl that you keep seeing right right? I don't know why you go to that diner every day at the same time Erv if i've told you once i told you a million times erv i'm waiting on that girl. I don't know why but I know Well, I think that's crazy geez i hope the fbi gets here That is really how the dialogue goes about It is like back and forth like well What about that exception to the rule where you've seen too far into the future and you see that girl at walk in at 809 Of course, but otherwise exactly two minutes Yeah, so Um, that does feel like a like a right. I wonder what it would be like if peter falcon Is that a conversation about about yeah, uh, clairvoyance clair clairvoyance That should have been uh jesica beals characters name clairvoyance clair at least give her clair.
It should have been clair that or they should have cast um Wait, it's clear. Oh wait on who anything that clair dance no clairvoy. I should have cast clairvoyance for a little clairvoyance. Oh Back it was a good.
Is it clear for lani is that's also one that's also one right? That's also one. Yes. Okay.
That's the one from all rats Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Meejoe la foy is uh, right. Of course clairvoy is in season of the witch with nickage Oh, so eventually he does get his clairvoyance Good. I'm glad yeah me too me too Um, so the fbi goes to this garage erv's garage They confront hey, what are you doing in my garage? I'm erv yeah, they confront cage and they're like there's been a nuclear bomb It's been stolen.
We want to use your powers and he's like he's given like what are you talking about? I don't have any powers. I'm just very good at counting cards, and it's an illusion all right? It's a it's bullshit.
I'm a I'm a flim flam man. Oh Man, I wish that were the line. He would I know he would have done so much more with it He would have eaten the whole fucking I'm a flam man Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I can't wait till it's Friday. I wonder yeah He ever says flim flam man in that con movie he matched a man match.
I'm a match stick man. Don't you say that's already saying don't you say I'm a match stick man. Yeah, so fucking And then we find out that all of this is just his clear-voyant site this whole conversation with Julian Moore all of this stuff He sees it and then he's able to leave in time before the FBI even gets there. He's already gone Classic and we never see pewter folk again just pop in for a day or two on this and you're out I'm going back to my own planet So and while so while this is all happening with the herbs garage and whatever else Julian Moore had talked to the head of security guy the royables about you know Fuckin about Frank Cadillac what he knew about him and all that stuff and then once they were done with him They just sort of like fucking send him on his way.
They're like all right. You've got a big help like get out of our way now so and then there's a scene of him walking to his car and he's confronted by two people and They shoot him in the knee and they're trying to get information. They also want Frank Cadillac Everybody wants a piece and I guess one girl is gonna get the whole pie I guess they want Frank because they also believe him to be clear-voyant That's correct and they don't want him to give away the like their plan the bombing plan right is that yes That is correct. They they're like somehow know that the F that FBI agent Cali Ferris is like this is our guy Right mean when the rest of the FBI is like not on board with this like clear-voyant nonsense They're like no we actually have to do work here and she's like what about magical thinking here That's really more like a CIA thing it is like doing like magic with a K.
Yeah, yeah for sure Yeah, you know fucking traveling interdimensional travel in Chile course, but It's like the whole idea of like first the FBI being like we want you Frank Cadillac to help us find this bomb And then the Russians being like we need to kill Frank had like so he doesn't help the FBI find the bomb the Russians who by the way Are not particularly Russian and no in not at all just sort of like vaguely European yes Yes, yes, I would say they're vaguely European. Yeah, I believe the Thomas Kretschman is German himself that he's not really yeah trying to hide it. He's like Nothing he should have to we should be you should feel free to be himself I'm he's in a blade to he plays like a very old very like kind of crusty vampire. He's all like done up He played what's the character's name?
Hold on. It's funny. It's done a skinos I would get yeah, okay. We should just do it with a blade movies.
I would love to do blade movies the first one is great You know we could call it Blade runner runner uphill. Oh shit. Oh, that's ice skate though. They use ice skate uphill.
Yeah, motherfuckers are always trying ice Get up. I know I believe me. I know sick to death of it. I know me too So I'll see you when he said that So we go to the next morning and he goes to the fucking coffee shop again He does this every day same time same place He he doesn't think he turns around exactly at 809 to see the girl finally walks through the door and it's Liz Cooper who is played by Jessica Biel and oh And he is taking with her beauty and she you know she walks you go to sit at a table it's As I was watching this unlike it's crazy that it was it's just like okay It's just like this accepted sort of thing that Nicholas Cage who is about 44 give or take when he made this movie and like I'll do sorry.
Yeah. Yeah. Go ahead. Sorry.
I'll do respect in Nicholas Cage. Yeah looks like Nicholas Cage Yeah, he looks like Nicholas Cage. He has a reposterous. Yeah, he has one of the worst haircuts in this movie This is I didn't I was thinking about this as I was watching I was like this is the era when someone photoshocked his hair to be a hawk You know that like yes, era meme.
This is Da Vinci code level bad hair. Yes. It is befitting a two-bit magician. Yes But yeah, it is it's a messed up that She's his love interest.
They should yeah They just had Julianne more of these love interest They should have like moved everyone up one credit one. Yeah take take Jessica Biel out let her Be a lot of interest be just in Timberlake's love interest go go be go be with him Yeah, and just yeah, yeah, so and it's Jessica Beale at this point is like 22 three So there's like a good 20 year age gap here. It's just it's just too much to be like something that isn't talked about in the movie I think right, you know, I don't know why but the universe has dictated I must be with this hot 22 year old absolute smoke show Also, yeah, it very befitting a Sort of relationship with this significant in particular of an age gap is yeah He runs his scenario a million times until he can successfully manipulate her. Yeah, what if the thing that worked is him just going God You're so mature for your age But yeah, man This is like he does run through Too many scenarios here of like approaching her trying to figure out how like he can talk to her because he doesn't know Anything beyond like he's had this vision of this woman walk into his life And like but he doesn't know anything about like what the purpose is like what she means to him eventually or whatever like none of it So it's all just so he's trying to figure out how to approach her It's picks like several different approaches which are all like one of those like do you know if they make the catch up in house here?
Right, I was like excuse me. I was wondering if you could rank those soups on the menu so I make more of the Beans harvested from the coffee. What is that? What is happening here?
What this this all feels like you can I get your hamburgers? plural Multiple hamburgers in front of the field. Excuse me. I'm really hungry.
So none of these things that he runs through in his head work then A guy comes in Kendall played by Mike Truco. That's right and he comes in submitted for your consideration. Yeah This is this is the Oscar clip for this movie It comes in he's just being like this douchebag guy and she's like listen we went out a few times It didn't work. I don't want to see you anymore And he's being like too pushy and whatever else right so so then we get a few more scenarios with cage where he's like goes over there and You know intervenes the one is it's fucking hilarious is when he goes over to try and you know Just intervene or whatever and Truco gets up and starts taking swings at him and he can't land a punch He keeps like cages like dodging him and spin over trips him like just all this shit, right?
And then that scene that moment or whatever ends with Jessica people being like Want you to work it out for yourselves and then she just gets up and leaves so he's like all right that's not gonna work It's a you ever you know that mr. Show sketch where it's like the rival ventriloquist gangs like the East Coast beat East Coast West Coast beat But with intro requests yes, and they cut to that one lady and she's I forget who she's supposed to be relative to anyone There's just like a late like an older lady smoking a cigarette. She just goes oh you men. It's that it's oh you men Yeah, so he runs it back and he realizes I've to let myself I have to take the paunch but she pities me He doesn't he doesn't say it we just see like we see the interaction again And then Truco gets up like pulls back to take a swing and then K says here comes yes And then to the weird thing here he knows what's going to happen Yes, the weird thing here is that in every scenario including the one that works Kendall He walks over and Kendall goes to the fucker you.
Yes on her future. Yeah, that's crazy Gross bad that should be he probably could have gotten away with like like drunken master defeating this guy Oh, yeah, you know handily if he had just not said that yes So he gets hit They threatened to call the cops Truco leaves and then the cage is sitting there. He's like, you know, oh This is crazy. My car got stolen too.
So I'm just having a really bad day and just gonna be like well like a liar Yes, it's all very manipulative Yeah, and do you think like once a week he gets like a premonition of a hot lady well think about it like what is It's like groundhog day or something where he just like knows everything just so well that he can manipulate people into doing whatever He wants same thing here like everything that he's saying to Jessica Beale is like kind of bullshit and just being like, you know I he needs a ride or whatever so He manipulates his way into having her give him a ride to he's like remote cabin and like was it like flag staff Arizona? It's crazy, man. It's not I don't think that's close to actually look it up But I don't think that's particularly near Las Vegas. No, where's I call it?
Lost wages lost wages. Yeah, so whatever they go. It's crazy that she's like alright if you if you show any signs of being a Psycho, I'm gonna kick you out of the car and real quick. You know what else is crazy.
What okay three hours from Vegas to Flagstaff That's crazy and the fact that she's like oh I happen to be going that way to teach underprivileged children I guess I'm like a Like a a native American reservation. Yes. Yes. What the what are we doing folks?
Yeah? Where'd you wouldn't know about the about that right? Although I guess like if he's seen two minutes into the future He knows what she's gonna say. I guess yeah He runs through every scenario where he's like every place he could possibly say he needs a ride as a lie Yeah, and finds the one where she's like I'm going that way.
Yeah, I'm going well I'm going halfway that far. I'm going a hundred fifty miles in that direction But I suppose if you need a ride I can just go an extra hundred fifty miles. That's crazy And it would again all this would make so much more sense if they were both like total smoke show 10 out of 10 hard bodies Yeah, but only one of them is well I will say cage at herbs when he like changes out of his shirt to put on a new shirt He he is looking pretty fit for like fine a 44 year old man, but fine. You're right in like he's no Jessica Biel He's not the male equivalent of Jessica Biel.
No, he's no Justin Timberlake. I mean yes He should have been in this he'd been like damn I gotta get to Flagstaff. Oh me. What are you doing man?
You are unusual. Yeah, you are a weird fucking guy You are a peculiar fellow fucking what's your name? Callie Ferris and the FBI agents that she has working there They go to the diner, right? They they talk to the waitress and the manager that's on They're like oh, yeah, it comes in every day at the same time sits has a cup of coffee and then just leaves or whatever And I like the manager here is like It feels like he's just in a different movie altogether He's just like and we we make our style dressing in house He's like talking about the diner itself and when I'm proud he is on it and and special agent Callie Ferris is just like great and she leaves I Like write that down.
Yeah write it down. I don't know this shit with the Russians We get like several scenes of Russians like doing stuff I feel like none of that matters at all they the Russians could like if they weren't in the movie if it was just like You know Julianne Moore saying like Russians have a nuke We need to know where they are and all this stuff like and we never saw the actual Russians. I Don't think anything is lost here. No, they don't know anymore.
Yeah, I'm working 20 minutes of runtime, right They don't even like them being Russian doesn't fatter It's not a fact or anything at all like they could truly of they could be they could have no faces They could have no they could just be the the figure that you see on like a bathroom sign like the men and women signs Yes figures. Yep. You could put them in this movie and it would be the same thing totally so if they go to the What's what's right Chris Chris and Liz go to the Native American school, right and Whatever Liz is doing whatever her job is he's just sort of hanging out there I thought this would have been a good opportunity for him to like maybe save a kid from falling out of a tree or something like that No, and steady says here. I got you a rock.
Yeah, it's crazy Oh, or is it a little lizard and then he says doesn't he say like you can keep that or something? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, or no he just goes happy birthday and he like puts a hand on the kid's cheek It's weird. It's all weird. It all feels like in the fact that she's just like knees trembling.
Yes I must have this man. Yeah, I have to fuck this guy The movie it does sort of feel like a foreign film That's just like sort of just slightly off where you're just like this isn't they must just do things differently in this country of Whatever this movie's origin is like just this all feels just sort of weird So they think it's like again not to forecast much But you think it's like a bad lieutenant port of call New Orleans where it's like German director It's got a different feel to it. I think that movie feels so much more American than this movie this does feel like It's like former Soviet block kind of yeah off. Yeah, like very Eastern European.
Yeah So Chris and and Liz they go to it's it's a cabin or a hotel that's a cabin or something unclear I'll clear right it's it's set up like it is a hotel right because they're driving yeah, and then the got there's like the roads closed Right. Yes, and guys like sorry at a you know rock fall or whatever But if you turn around a mile up there and Nick Cage is like yeah, you know the hokey the hokey-pokey motel got it Whatever like cuts a guy out there fucking rude for no reason yes Um and yeah, so it is set up as being like a motel But it also just appears to be like you look around it the exterior makes it look like just like a shack they found like an old Old prospector shack. Oh man. It's anyway.
This is when Nicholas Cage Has sex with Jessica be all not well not quite not yet first. There's like this whole like there's only one bed He's like it's okay I'm gonna sleep in the car and all that shit right and then she's like laying in the bed and she sort She looks out the window like see him and like you know she's sort of like so fucking hot So hot The scene all right so there's a scene at the whatever FBI office that it's a califaris Kavanaugh is there Jim Beaver as director wisdom NSA director wisdom. Yeah, they're all there right and they're there The whole thing feels like a it feels like a bad SNL sketch where like they're just running through sort of like jargon Or like whatever sort of like government, you know FBI jargon that they you know We we have to you know like search every farmhouse and house like that kind of shit like the Everybody but Julianne Moore's character is trying to like come up with real solutions And she's just like we have a guy here that could see into the future And like we need to get him and all this shit right? It just it was very it all just felt very silly.
Yeah now You know it's so Chris Johnson Nicholas Cage's character Chris Johnson aka Frank Cadillac also we do find out why his name is Frank Cadillac Do you remember why? No, this made me laugh he goes I took the name from two things I like like oh, it's gonna be like Frank Sinatra because he's like a you know Yeah, this guy is like I thought it was gonna be Frank Sinatra in the car whatever he goes I like to turn currency. Yeah, it's took from two things. I like Frankenstein and Cadillac Love that That feels like a Nick Cage for like an ism.
Yeah, it's really good. It's really good stuff. Yeah, I'm a huge Nick Cage fan I think that he's always trying like even in this movie which is bad. I think he is like Bringing hard disagree.
Oh, no, I think he's always doing something What is he doing at any point in this? What's he what's he doing? I thought I thought he was good as like a sleazy magician, right and he is good as a sleazy magician Right because he's just like over it He there's no stakes for him because he knows it's gonna work But when he is the part where he's on the FBI side and they're going through like that Warehouse kind of set it with the guys with the guns. Yeah, he's just like tapping people on the shoulder Yeah, so I'm not way up took back all that kind of shit And he's being like he's like almost touching his head as he's doing it You know he's doing it.
Yeah, the like need oh sort of like classic like mentalist Yeah, mentalist behavior or a non-mentalist. No, no, no What's Elizabeth Olsen who plays Scarlet Witch and all the Marvel movies or whatever? She does the same thing where she's like all right I gotta do this and then move my hands in a very weird sort of herky-jerky way So all right, so They there's a whole FBI scene then It's fucking the next morning at the hotel Nick age is like whatever. He's sitting at the kitchen table doing whatever He's like fat.
He's making a rose He's doing like shitty like magic tricks, right? And like Jessica Beale comes out of the shower She's like still wet She's like wrapped in a towel and he like looks at her like whoa and she's like what and like what do you mean? What the fucking what? Getting me That that moment is just like sort of the a microcosm of this whole movie is him just being like oh my I am taken by your beauty And she's like what beauty what are you right?
It's like I thought I looked like the elephant man Well, she does it. I mean Bradley Cooper is the elephant man. Maybe yes Yeah, yeah, you know Yeah, that is so it's so easy to imagine like the moment in the screenplay where it's just like or the pitch for this is like And the best part she has no idea like she doesn't even know it's insane This is the perfect woman crazy. This is the perfect woman.
She she teaches underprivileged kids And she has no self-esteem. Yeah, it is like this this this character is supposed to be like a real person or whatever But I feel like it does fall into the born sexy yesterday category and that's a really funny phrase. I like it a lot Yeah, it has come up here before and it's like the exact thing probably yeah I think I've talked about it before but it's it's not my thing it's somebody else came up with it But it's the idea that like the biggest sort of example I could think of is Mila Jovovich in the fifth element where she's like literally right not does not exist And then they like through DNA they like clone a version of her and she looks like Mila Jovovich And she's like wrapped in that like the white bandage outfit that's like popular, you know famous or whatever and And then Bruce Willis who is like this you know, he's Bruce Willis, but he's also in the movies like a taxi driver And he's just like this working-class guy. He's got to like tell her about the world and shit Yeah, and he's like a fucking you know He's a dummy or whatever, but he has this absolute goddess that he has to like explain the world to and that you know They fall in love this feels the exact same as that where she's just like what I don't understand why me coming out of the bathroom In just a towel me Jessica Beale is distracting to you at all So it's um also I'm just thinking about this that's that's what poor things is doing Yeah, really like really doing that true.
Oh, it's it's really doing. Yeah. Yeah, that's like that's the ultimate sort of I think of that as like a thumb in the eye of Like the whole concert like born sexy yesterday because like every one of those born sexy yesterday movies the guy You know, it's like it's always like this guy who's like he's a really good guy and he's like yeah And the idea is that he deserves this girl because he's such a good guy and in that in four things She's just like I was born yesterday Sexy and I am going to literally fuck my way through the world figure figure everything out for myself and yes, whatever I gotta say the the marker ruffle of like ark is I mean, he's very funny in it. Oh, yeah, that's great I would love the I would love to see will forte take on that same performance No one has a better meltdown than him and him like being like, please fuck me Yeah, yeah, him and MacGyver telling powers booth.
He'll suck his dick Oh wait, I say MacGyver. Yeah, I'll suck your fucking dick He says he says he's something about like putting toner on his ass so he can fuck him Or it's just like the dumbest thing I've ever seen it's good such a funny movie anyway The funniest not a funny movie or particularly interesting in any other way is this film next next? Yeah, so now at this point And then he does the thing with the rose where he makes a paper rose and he sets him on fire and there's a real rose there and She's like this also kind of suggested. He's actually magic.
No, I believe no. He's just a magician who has some fucking tricks on him at all times That's it's worth. Yeah, I love a man like that. I know but this is when They they kiss and then we cut to them just like laying post coil in bed Great stuff that then the fucking uh, just The Russians are there they have a sniper that's getting ready.
Everybody's got a sniper. Everybody's got a sniper That's getting ready to fucking take out You know Chris when he walks out of the out onto the porch or whatever The FBI shows up right and they they try and So they grab Liz as she like leaves to go get groceries or some shit They pick her up there like it's this guy Chris. He's very dangerous. He's delusional.
They tell her all the shit He's manipulating you honey Yes, they say and they're like you have to I'm gonna give you these pills slip one into his drink and then you know It'll take five minutes to work, but you have to wait two minutes after he leaves the room before doing it right? Because he can see two minutes of the future. So she doesn't want him to be able to see it whatever you get it It's raining the logic here. It's it's straining the logic, but it's also visually so uninteresting Because see we come back and forth between her Jessica be all yeah holding a pill bottle and Nick Cage like getting ready to take a shower Yes, and he goes into the bathroom He's taking shaving like she keeps like looking over she's looking at the clock all the stuff It's like and then she puts the puts the pill into the drink and then he grabs You know comes out of the bathroom takes it and he's about to drink it and she stops him.
She's like I don't know what I'm doing Yeah, I'm so sorry. This is crazy. This is crazy. You could be delusional You could be I don't know and then tells him the FBI grab me they told me to drug you And then he's like okay, what how long does it take they said oh it's at five minutes So he goes out into the porch drinks an undrug drink and then goes back in and I guess it's he's trying to trick them into you know Right, but at this point he's also cranked the volume of the TV up.
Yes, and she is set out loud all of this stuff about it Yes, so they should know but they don't they don't then none of it really matters because He leaves it like he walks out of the cabin or whatever and then this sort of chasing shoes where He ends up running down this hill There's all kind of like a tiny. Oh, I she would hate it. Yeah, early is the scene. Yeah Yeah, she obviously everything she stands for she also likes good movies No, so he's like he he's escaping or whatever and all of this like the place the hotel motel whatever that they're saying I'm all right is a Has a bunch of like old train Shit like old West sort of like not memorabilia, but like whatever artifacts.
There's a yeah There's no train car. There's like wagon wheels a bunch of logs that sort of thing that's all and look if it's metal Yeah, you could you could pretty much guess it's covered in rust. Yes. Yeah I'm thinking is before he goes out to have this chase sequence He the last thing he does is he writes something on the piece of paper and he's like do a shot to what they said I love her.
Yeah, whatever so he's running down that hill. Yep. Oh, that poor woman poor Kate and You know FBI guys, they're trying to keep up but you know Nick agent is Chelsea boots is really good at running at a negative 30 degree angle Yeah, um this scary to watch actually because like you can safeguard this as much as you want Yeah, but you really hurt yourself doing this oh for sure like the filming of it. Oh, yeah, but yeah, so while he's doing that Jessica Beal Yeah, she puts like a rock or something on the gas pedal of her truck.
Yep Which again would not even be there if he had not tricked her into yes being his lover Correct um guess floored drives it into old water tower support Yes knocking the water tower down and more importantly sends it rolling down the hill along with Bunch of logs dangerous stuff. There's like a chain that's attached that like starts pulling everything that's on the edge of this cliff off the cliff Sending it like we're all rolling down the hill. Yeah, and it's all in Cg it's all inside Cg looks like shit But it's it's basically like all this stuff is like falling down the hill at once um Nick cage. She does this thing where he's like he's about to be like Yeah, like a car is rolling down the hill and it's about to hit him and he has to like stand there for a second Not moving and then he ducks at a very specific point.
That's the thing fly over him um gets to the bottom and Julian Moore is there and she's got a gun on him and And she's like, you know all of the shit is still avalanching down and she's like are you gonna let it kill me Chris And he's like fuck no and he grabs her no Get over here grabs her and like it does a little like you know twist Return dance kind of thing avoiding all of the debris and is able to save the two of them Um, it's at this point that she takes him into custody where she's like, you know, no good deed goes unpunished And they they give him a bit of a elude of ego treatment when they put those things in his eyes Yeah, like keep them open for what seems like no reason Yeah, I don't I don't understand the hostility here. Wait a second though The plan here is to have him watch very much tv that he saved the world To have him watch like 24 hour news cycles until he catches a glimpse of like what? Like the bomb itself going off and like where it's gonna happen or whatever So let's have him strapped to this chair watching tv and she's ending there waiting for his reaction As if it's gonna like happen and she's like like 30 seconds goes by and she's like anything anything else Right and we're supposed to like the whole Vibe here is that he's being held against as well. That's why he didn't want to help them because you're probably asking yourself Like why wouldn't he want to help them stop when you clear attack?
Um, and he's like once you get your hands on me and you want to keep me locked up in a cage Which is not my last name. I'm Chris Johnson. That's right Nick Cage movie it feels like it based on how I'm acting. Yeah, can't stop doing that that sound I feel like it No, no, of course not.
We did while at heart the David. Oh, yeah, but that's not like this. That's not a yeah That's that's that's a character. That's a character.
Yeah. He was also doing his Elvis impression. Yeah, this one. He's doing his Nick Cage Isn't it?
Yeah very much so um Yeah, which like I don't know. I mean, I guess I got it but also How is it really that much skin off your back because you're basically invincible to just go help the FBI real quick? I mean like it all seems like a bit unclear Besides the fact that besides the whole thing of like once I help you, you're gonna you know, just gonna keep me in a cage Like I said just to continue to do this I don't know how like, you know what? I mean, I think this guy needs to Sort of get over himself I would give anything for my life to have that much purpose that I can stop a nuclear, you know, a nuclear holocaust Yeah, that'd be amazing for me.
I do wonders for myself as team. I mean Yeah, there's also no sort of like indication that He ever had to do anything like this before like where you know, he was his powers were used by some authority figure And that's like specifically why he doesn't want to do this He had to go into hiding and change the identity and all this because you know, they they used him to find Something before and then they weren't gonna let him go and all this, you know what I mean? Like it's not there's no backstory to it. There doesn't seem to be a reason a good reason at least for him to you know, be doing this right Right, right.
So whatever So he again, he keeps saying that he can only see two minutes into the future But in this instance when he's watching tv he sees much further. It's well because it's special with Liz Cooper aka Jessica Biel, right? It's like when she's involved. Yeah, he's forever.
Yeah. Yeah, so what he sees Also crazy and like I know it's far away, but it feels weirdly graphic and like this also feels very like War on terror fear mongering suicide vest kind of thing we see there. It's like a news story And they have Liz with a you know, like a bomb vest honor tied to a wheelchair on the roof of a garage like a parking garage Yep And as this reporter is talking about like we don't know who they are or what they want. All we know is that Liz explodes.
Yes The reporters the report the actress playing the reporter is so bad It's way overdone and like look if I saw that I also wouldn't know how to handle myself. No, I know but No one this is no one would do this. Yes Um, so he sees Liz explode go a splozione on the top floor. Oh no.
Oh no. Oh no. Liz has gone a splozione I don't do something. Yeah walking so He um they take him out of this room, but he manages to escape entirely right?
Um He races over there to see like to find these fucking Russians that have kidnapped his his girlfriend Um She's so much younger than me. I'll never shut her up a little light ahead of her. I can say the same I'll never lie to someone like I never get in my life. I have to So yeah, uh, and then I don't know at this point too like he escapes but then Julianne more catches up with him and then they're working together kind of Um Yeah, that's the other thing is like so much of this is him just like Running away from the fbi over and over and over again and it's like who cares like the stakes of him not getting caught by the fbi are So much lower than the stakes of there being I can't stress it enough.
Especially spoiler alert You see the bomb go off. This is a big bomb. It's a big one. It's a really big bomb.
Yeah, yeah Um So uh another thing nikage says throughout the entire movie is like uh, you see when you see the future Uh it changes because you looked at it and you can you have an effect on it, right? So He sees this you know future of Liz blowing up. So now it's down to him to change it So we know that he can change it, um Which it sort of takes away from the overall movie I think if like the it's like it's one of the it's early on the movie where he says as soon as you look at it it changes so like makes Makes everything that happens sort of like I don't know uh null and void right? I mean That's how the movie ends also is by well during the movie null and void.
I yeah, we'll get there But um so it's funny though because like I feel like um Does a minority report? I feel like they do the same thing where it's like you see the future you can change it or whatever Or something we watch recently did that and you don't have the same like you don't get Snagged on it in the same way. I think partly it's like Stephen Spielberg direct that but also The movie does not like insist on its premise over and over and over again Yeah, like it just kind of uses it to to get you from like beat to beat a little bit more than this does And like all this movie wants to talk about is how you can see two minutes into the future and how you can change a future once you see it Yeah, I mean there's so it's just like a big thing with Philip K. Dick is just like this this idea that like you can see into the future Right minority report and this and then like To a sort of lesser extent.
I think paycheck sort of has the same vibe where it's not he can't see into the future He's had his mind erased his memory erased for the time or whatever, but he sets himself up so that he's like sort of preordained To well he can see into the future. That's what the machine does. Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah, of course Of course so he does see into the future and sort of moves himself along in like two minute increments with his various objects Yeah, yeah, yeah his symptoms.
Yeah, so um, yeah, and that's all fine. It's just like no. That's fine Yeah, it's this is not a There's no I don't know. There's no angle on the like I can see two minutes in the future thing It's ultimately just like I can do that.
Yes, that is it. Um, so now Chris is working with the FBI because he wants to save Liz Um, this is the scene where like him and all of these like sort of SWAT guys go into this warehouse where you know The these Russians are they're holding Liz they have fun etc etc whatever Um, and then there's they're like going over the plan and then Chris like chimes in and one of the guys like who the fuck is this guy and Julian Moore's like from now on we're taking you know, we're taking fucking lessons from him We're taking orders from this guy and and they go in and this again very silly All of the action set pieces are very silly in this the thing all the shit rolling down the hill silly This when like he's just sort of in the center of like this ring of SWAT guys with machine guns And he's just he's tapping people on the shoulders like over there. There's a sniper up in that door There's a crack there eight inches above the railing and like Look, yeah At this point you don't know what the end of the movie is gonna be no and I think just watching this you're like what who cares though Yes, here is if he's like if he's just sleep walking through this whole fucking thing if he can just yawn and be like oh shoot up They're real quick and then also though they do split up right and he's like i'll go clear the other floors You guys get this one all right. Yeah, and then a guy gets domed immediately Yes, and you're like oh shit.
Okay, so So you knew that was gonna happen right? You knew that was gonna happen and you're like i better get the fuck out here Yeah, i like two minutes When he's clearing the other level or levels he It the way that it's presented is that he splits off into multiple versions of nikage And this is like supposed to be just a sort of visual representation of how his mind is working how he's running through every possible scenario, but we see like i don't know 2010 to 20 nikages sort of looking around a warehouse at the same time in different areas Um, they're all talking to each other. Yeah, they all have like a different game. Yeah, they're all like they're looking at each other like shrugging like i don't know I'm just like a braniac nikage.
There's like a fat one one. Uh, one's a jock Yeah, long So there's uh, so whatever they get down to like it's the last guy He has jesica beola's hostage has a gun on her and then nikage sort of he walks up towards her and then he shot several times But it's all I this doesn't make any sense to me how this plays out where you know the shot that i'm talking about where he's walking towards a guy with a Gun and he's the guy with a gun is shooting him and he's the variations are falling away And then it's just left with him. Yeah, and then the guy with an empty gun. Yeah, it makes no sense correct don't think I'm with you.
It's a really Not this annoying. It's a heady thing to try to get across Yeah, I guess I know um, it's a especially for uh, uh, you know an incompetent production. Yeah, I won't say Go up at it. I'll say You know Journeyman production sure, um But then they they get to this like shipping container where they think the bomb is and it's not in there And they're like what the fuck and then they're all sort of standing out this like out in a harbor or something And they're standing out there and kage is like oh no, I made a mistake.
I goofed. I go This actually is yeah holds her and then the bomb goes off the nuke goes off this actually everybody was sad I got that. I mean like if this is how the movie ended. I would have been like oh shit You guys check out the big balls right everybody here You know for ending this movie this way honestly kind of like a good I yeah, there's like a there's like a statement in there about like the usefulness of like Statistical analysis.
It's like I ran every scenario and yeah didn't account for this one thing Yeah, sure um also No, just the idea of like you know when nukes about to go off and you just like grab someone to like hold them and try to protect them against a nuke There's nothing else you can do. Yeah terrible and terrifying and has no business being in this movie sure So vinuk goes off everyone goes to suppose the onay kerblimo And then we are brought back to nik cage laying in bed next to naked jessica beole moments after he has gone Yeah, it's true Um, so this everything that we've just watched for the past half hour 45 minutes or so has been a vision Of the future that he had so at this point now he calls up Special agent califers. Mm-hmm and says all right. I'm ready to play ball I'm gonna work with you and she's like great and then tell yeah Oh, sorry.
No, no go on go on because then he's like I have conditions You have to make sure that lose Cooper the woman I just slept with yes Is not involved in this and she's like yeah, no problem as far as we know there's just some hottie you bagged Yeah, like yeah, we don't know who this is yeah All right, I wait. Did I say did I say that vision out louder was I? Yeah, and then so and then he talks to liz who's just like waking up from having sex with him And and he's like listen I have to go for like I have to go for a little bit could be a few days could be like a month And she's just like okay, and he's like but you know if you can wait for me, you know, I'll be back I promise And she's like oh, yeah, definitely I just met you we just had sex You're telling me you have to leave for a week to a month and you'll find me and you'll you'll find me okay Uh, I don't know what you're talking about but okay, but I don't know what you're talking about but for some reason I'm completely devastated by this Yes, yes, and then he meets up with julienne more and they're like and he's like all right. Let's do this Gets in the car drives off credits rah one minor Uh correction.
Okay gets in the car drives off credits that run from uh, they run backwards They run from the bottom of the screen to the top of the screen because guess what nick cage He's a bit of a backwards man a backwards man He can walk backwards fast as you can yeah, I guess because he looks he peers around the corner of time And he's like I better not go around that corner in just such a way. I like it. Yeah, so it's so bad That's the but that's the end of the movie. Yeah, they have to just go about your business after that That's crazy to end the movie about like all right.
So we've been trying to track this new kid the whole time I we're left with I assume he did I assume they succeeded but like This is basically a different version of it was all a dream the whole time right. Yeah, and not even a different version It just like is that it basically is that yeah, um What a cop out which is it's a huge cop out, but it's just like I don't when when the bomb goes off and then he wakes up back in bed my my reaction. I was like oh shit Oh, okay. So now we're gonna like actually succeed here and maybe like You know, it took us 45 minutes to wrap this up Maybe they just knock this the rest of the movie out in like 10 or 15 minutes And you know we just see them like ice all these russians real quick stop the bomb and then we see nick cage and jesica Beal, you know live happily ever after for the next well for him It'll be 40 years for her to be longer Significantly in fact.
Yeah, um But them just ending with him getting in the truck and being like let's do this or whatever I thought was I mean like You know, I don't expect much from christ Johnson and califers will return in next two which is just just I just feel like it's just unsatisfying in a way that like a movie this dumb cannot leave you Yeah with that right like don't try to be clever Don't be clever. Just like you ever this whole movie with all of the premonition shit and all the silliness like just Just like the story be the story right yeah Give us an actual ending don't leave with like them going off on the real adventure now The thing that's really gonna happen now what? Well, we've seen everything that won't happen so we can use like theater of the mind It's like how you uh, don't see them the monster in for most of alien So, you know exactly what it looks like when you do see it surely you're like I knew that was what give you what it looked like Yeah, I know this was this was a pretty dumb. It was dumb as hell.
I got bored a lot Yeah, I mean, this is like this was the kind of movie that I I mean, it's just of its time. It's just so of like whatever sort of like trash Was happening at the time in movies. This is just goes along with that sort of trash And the cage at this point he's all fucked up with like taxes and shit like that He's just taking jobs and whatever because he has to right? Um, this is not like I feel like what's it?
Bangkok dangerous. I feel like comes out around the same time is this where it's just like what is this movie that you're in? What are you doing? Like it's crazy that uh Yeah, Bangkok dangerous comes out the following year.
Yeah, and bad lieutenant is only two years after two years I know but I think that but again, yeah, there was no it's like a broken clock situation where it's like He's in Bangkok dangerous and next and a million other shitty things from around this time He also is in bad lieutenant, which is like still like a you know, a pulpy. It's a big performance, but it's good It is good. Yeah, but that's like it's just like luck of the draw. It's like oh, I happen to be working with a claim director vernar hard dog So I mean, I think that I think Nicholas Cage is not precious about the movies that he does.
I think that's obvious Right. I think maybe early on he was but he's like he's much more of like a working actor And especially when he's having like financial like personal financial problems or whatever He's just taking jobs and he's trying to make money So he's doing these kind of like shitty movies and this is like, you know, money was spent on this movie This is not like some low budget piece of shit. It's just a piece of shit And like he does like he said like two years after this he does bad lieutenant, which he's I think very good in I think the movie is very good He does a ton of really good movies after this, but he also mixed in with all of those good movies They are bad movies in there like he just isn't he just does movies. He's just right.
He's like a working actor Is his deal. It's sort of the same thing as like Samuel L Jackson where like he gives there were movies where you're like That's a really fucking great performance like Jackie Brown. He's like I think he's so fucking good in that movie But then like he's in other shit like snakes on plane or whatever else. He's just like I work man And I fucking take jobs.
Yeah, I'll show up I'll give you the same Jackson magic and you'll give me you'll hand me a big fat paycheck Like the stardom is kind of incidental Exactly and like I think you know us as an audience like just people in general We put people like these actors or whatever on like bigger pedestals like just because we know them so well And then they're like you know like why is Nick Cage and this is really shitty like movie or whatever And you're like well he does need to eat as well like he's eating, you know foie gras Yeah, he's eating jodo bird eggs They're very good. Those are extinct, but the eggs are very much not. Yeah, we could have dota birds If people would just stop damn eating them if the 1% Yeah So I don't know I like yeah, this is bad movie a bad performance is all around from everyone um but like I don't know I I've never seen Jessica be on a good thing But uh, that's a julian moron be good in other movies name one time julian more just kidding. I am just kidding You want to know what my curse is with her what um Every time I hear her name.
I think about fucking knocked up when he calls her in his stupid stuff. Rogen voice Oh julian read beer more read beard more he calls her. Yeah. I hate that Don't yeah where he's like they're mr.
Skin website when they don't realize that mr. Skin exists, which is a funny joke That's funny. That is a really funny joke. I when when paul run is explaining and he's like mr.
Skin and he does the face like that Yeah, yeah, whatever. It's like mr. Skin. I mean it's like it's the perfect thing To be like first owners not to realize already exists.
It really is like such a good specific. Yeah I I do I mean I think it's funny to call it not not the red beard thing But the uh they call out the julian more is Uh more bottomless in movies that she is topless and they call it the julian more special Um, which I think is funny. I don't like I think it's a robert all the movie shortcuts where she does that where she's like You know she's wearing a shirt, but no pants or whatever And I don't know and then she's in boogie nights where she is fully naked But I don't know it's just like it's just a funny thing to be like to associate like one actress right with with being donald duck style I just don't get it around movies several movies. Yeah, uh, yeah, so uh next Letterbox letterbox letterbox.
Okay letterbox.com slash king vpah. We're gonna rate and review this thing Lickety split because I gotta go pee pee like some like you never seen before. Oh, jesus I'm predicting two minutes into the future that I'm gonna have to go pee pee. Okay Rating that's always the easier part.
Yeah, um on the count of three One two three two and a half. Oh, this always happens. Okay, two and a half. Yeah, I had a I liked when he said that he Uh, is named after frankenstein.
I think I mean the movie I just think is very silly. It's not something that I'm gonna watch again I don't think it's like a fun one to like revisit but while I was watching him like this is all very dumb Yeah, yeah, and again, like I think it starts off so strong and like the premise just isn't it does not have legs Like it cannot really stay in itself. Right. Yeah So like you get all the fun shit out of the way like him like doing little magic or whatever and then like the escape scene from the hotel where you like No guns.
No weapons. No nothing. He just like does a little uh Kind of like Hudson Hawk sort of dances way out. Yes.
Yes. Um, yeah, okay. So to review this thing Um, what can he say about a movie where nothing happens? I wish I I wish I could have seen 90 minutes into the future.
Oh That's good. That's really bitchy. I like that. I know I I don't know this for a fact, but I'm sure that when this movie came out some film critic must have written that right?
Yeah, like that must have been a real thing that was printed So how about I wish I could I wish I could have seen 90 minutes into the future and save myself the trouble of watching this Um exclamation mark open j sherman style Sure. I don't know Um, all right. So that was 2007's next next week On this year's shirt. Well on friday.
We already talked about it, but we're gonna be doing burner hers. Oggs. That's right fire at the fanboat Fire fire fire up that day. I'll find my dad a fan boat.
Uh get get at a brass band We gonna be marching down the street in a funeral procession. That's right. No, you're we're doing uh Badly tenant port of call in the Orleans. There really aren't any guys like that in this no no there aren't any guys like us They're they're more adults than we are.
I know yeah in my opinion you're leaving money on the table What do you think do you think uh vernar her talk like is even like do you think he saw that like cajun people and you're like that is So that is too crass. It is debased. I cannot put that in my film. No one must ever see this An alligator now.
They're plenty of gators in this thing. Oh, they're plenty of gators. I love that feels like did you finish the movie? No, I'm like halfway through it, but like you can't really there's a credit in like in the credits It says like alligator and iguana footage by vernar her saw that oh no shit.
Yeah, like he's holding the camera. It's it's the right obviously Obviously, it's so easy to imagine him just being like um, you know the the dead ice just like all the yes Yes, they're cruel. They have equal. Yeah, they are a perfect evolutionary form for their environment Throws some extra syllables.
Yeah Um, so that's this friday bedlute and port of call in the Orleans and then next Tuesday um The hunting the sequel to the screamers. Oh, okay, so we're gonna have to figure that out Something tells me it won't be a screamer. It won't be I think it's gonna be pretty fun lance and rixen That's it. Uh, it's in a green arrow in it too.
I think who's that break brick? No, amal amal I'm ill however the fuck you his last name is oh steven steven amal amal or amal whatever. Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah So we got a lot of great programming coming up. Yeah a lot of great stuff But next Tuesday three mirrors the hunting until then guys it is time to die time to die