Nick Fury

This week a TV movie crushes a group of reviewers that has already been beaten down by so many bad films this season. The cherry on the top of this steaming pile is The Hoff! Armin & Arden join your hosts and discuss a movie Marvel would like to forget. Also, forget David Hasselhoff, one of the costars is actually named Ron Canada! Arden is in love with the Swedish villainess, Viper! The Hoff says he’s a better Nick Fury than Samuel L. Jackson. What’s your job? “I write only super hero movies. All of them. Good or bad.” Arden points out in Commando Schwarzenegger has a nice house & is doing well. In contrast, The Hoff in this film is working a mine in the Yukon? Armin mentions this Key & Peele sketch about a retired military specialist that highlights the cliché. Of course, he can’t watch that clip because it will only work if you’re in the States. Thanks for nothing, internet. The spokesperson for collagen, Lisa Rinna. Everyone loves The Hoff. Chris believes even K.I.T.T. must have hit on him in Knight Rider. Chris thinks this movie is all kinds of Stargate SG-1 gone wrong. Paul says, Babylon 5. The British character in the film is the “comic relief,” and the actor was really happy to do it. He says so in this old article. The guys get in a discussion of other bad movies you’d watch instead of this one. Which is worse, this movie or Batman & Robin? Armin believes Ron Canada is the affordable James Earl Jones and calls him Mufasa. Gary in the chatroom thinks the only thing that could make the movie worse is Brendan Fraser. The henchmen are the Blue Man Group? Arden thinks the set from the baddies’ lair was stolen for the recent Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film. The villainess has obviously been through the A Clockwork Orange treatment and it didn’t work. She crazy. All of The Hoff’s best lines are in the Quotes section on IMDB. Armin says the mind reading scenes are just Action Essentials 2 plopped into the TV film. Armin also adds that he missed years of the plot of Interstellar on a restroom break. Arturo in the chat room reminds us of the great website, RunPee.com. For just such an occasion. The Hoff has been poisoned, but not from eating cancerous rats. Paul’s pitch for the new Oregon Trail: “Two of your party have died of cancerous rat poisoning.” Terry David Mulligan is recognized by Arden because he did a lot of Canadian TV shows. Here, he’s the president of the USA. We saw Gremlins so we’re going to steal this bit. Arden thinks the false ending with The Hoff & Lips on the Helicarrier could have been more Titanic-like. Wait, there’s a helicarrier? Yes, the Lego version is very expensive. Armin says this movie is better than Gymkata, but as bad Waterworld. Arden tells us the other movies that came out this year, The Big Lebowski, American History X and Saving Private Ryan. Generally, things started to turn around for Marvel with Blade and X-Men. Arden read Baywatch for the articles. Armin says you should watch Blade and Chris recommends Spider-Man. Arden suggests Spectre while Paul warns you to not watch Tomorrowland, ever. Since the film was so very bad, ignore it. Instead, be sure to check out Arden’s Prairie Noodle Shop and Armin’s webcomic, Biasedcat. Thanks to both of them for watching the film and reviewing it. Thank you for listening! Support Film Frown on Patreon