Nicole's story - squiggly motherhood, exclusive breastfeeding and a home birth

This week, I’m honoured to be joined by Nicole from South London, the host and founder of the Squiggly Motherhood podcast. Nicole started the podcast because she couldn’t find motherhood content that reflected her experience as an exclusively breastfeeding Black mother working in a senior corporate role, and she wanted space for the two truths that motherhood can be both hard and loved at the same time, with practical, values-led gentle parenting reflections.Nicole shares her feeding journeys with her two children who are just 18 months apart. She exclusively breastfed and delayed introducing bottles and dummies out of fear of disrupting breastfeeding, but later faced severe sleep deprivation with frequent night waking and significant pressure from others to stop breastfeeding or use formula, especially because her baby was small. She describes feeling isolated by exclusive breastfeeding and struggling to leave her baby, and explains how nights improved when her husband took over settling and they added other comfort methods.Nicole’s second birth was an unplanned, very rapid home birth on the living room floor. With her son, early breastfeeding was harder due to a shallow latch and limited postnatal support because staff assumed she already knew what to do. She stayed in hospital longer specifically to get breastfeeding help, used different positions like the rugby hold, and took weeks to feel settled. She describes being more confident and accepting a second time, choosing co-sleeping from day one and not pursuing bottles or pumping. She later returned to work when her son was one. Nicole is still breastfeeding her two-year-old, who feeds frequently, and discusses managing boundaries within gentle parenting. She ends by advising parents breastfeeding past infancy not to justify their choices: it’s enough to say it works for their family right now.My picture book on how breastfeeding journeys end, The Story of Jessie’s Milkies, is available from Amazon here -  The Story of Jessie's Milkies. In the UK, you can also buy it from The Children’s Bookshop in Muswell Hill, London. Other book shops and libraries can source a copy from Ingram Spark publishing.You can also get 10% off my books on supporting breastfeeding beyond six months and supporting the transition from breastfeeding at the Jessica Kingsley press website, that's uk.jkp.com using the code MMPE10 at checkout.Follow me on Instagram  @emmapickettibclc or find out more on my website www.emmapickettbreastfeedingsupport.com Listen to Nicole’s podcast, Squiggly Motherhood, wherever you get your podcasts. This podcast is presented by Emma Pickett IBCLC, and produced by Emily Crosby Media.