EPISODE · Apr 21, 2026 · 1H 4M
Nineteen85 Knows the Difference Between Parenting and Controlling
from If You Knew Better with Amber Grimes · host The Black Effect Podcast Network and iHeartPodcasts
In this episode of If You Knew Better, Amber Grimes sits down with Grammy-nominated producer Paul Jefferies aka Nineteen85 (of DVSN) for a powerful conversation on fatherhood, parenting, and personal growth. Reflecting on his journey as a young and single dad, Paul opens up about navigating parental expectations [01:20], embracing the idea of disappointing your parents as a path to self-discovery [02:44] [06:24], and unpacking generational differences in parenting styles [10:22]. This episode dives into how modern parents can create space for growth, grace, and understanding [21:28] [25:08]. Paul shares honest insights on navigating early parenthood [33:32], breaking generational cycles [49:24], and the role of therapy in personal growth [55:29], while emphasizing the importance of empowering children to find and use their voices [01:00:43]. This episode offers real-life perspective and actionable wisdom for anyone looking to raise healthier families and become a better version of themselves. Follow Amber Grimes on Instagram: @ambergrimes Follow Nineteen85 on Instagram: @nineteen85 Get Amber's newsletter on Substack Watch this episode on Youtube Thursday at 6pm ET Follow Amber's Book Club Get Amber's Book Club Merch Read Amber's Favorite BooksSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Nineteen85 Knows the Difference Between Parenting and Controlling
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