No Excuses

Everyone comes into this world with a unique set of circumstances. Some people are blessed to grow up in homes filled with love, encouragement, and great role models. Others, however, face challenges right from the beginning. They grow up in difficult environments, experience hardships, and lack the opportunities that other people had. It's so easy for a person to look at his background and feel that he was placed at a disadvantage. He may think, "If only I had grown up differently, I would have been able to accomplish so much more." But that is not the way Hashem wants us to view it. Hashem does not judge people based on where they started. He judges them based on what they did with the circumstances He gave them. Every person is sent into the exact situation that he needs to fulfill his mission here. The challenges are not there to prevent him from succeeding. They are there to help him reach a level of greatness that could not have been achieved any other way. Imagine two people climbing a mountain. One begins halfway up while the other starts from the bottom. The one who started lower has a much harder climb. But when he reaches the top, his accomplishment is far greater because he had to overcome so much more to get there. The same is true in our spirituality. Someone who had to struggle against negative influences or painful experiences is not at a disadvantage. It's just the opposite. Every step forward in his life is worth so much more because of what it took to achieve it. So many of the greatest people who ever lived overcame tremendous obstacles. Their greatness was not despite their challenges; it was because of them. The very difficulties that could have been used as excuses became the tools through which they rose to the greatest heights. While it is true that some people begin life with very big disadvantages, our rabbis teach us that our circumstances do not determine our destiny. They merely determine the nature of our test. The Torah tells us about the Megadef, the blasphemer. Chazal explained that he was born into a very difficult situation. His father was an Egyptian and his mother was a yatzanit, someone who would speak to everyone in the marketplace, including men. He was not accepted by society. He never felt that he belonged anywhere. He hoped that at least when he came before Moshe Rabbeinu, he would finally be accepted. However, when the matter was brought before the Beit Din of Moshe, it was ruled that he would not be allowed to camp among Shevet Dan because the tribes followed the father, and his father was a goy. Therefore, he did not have a tribe. He left the Beit Din disappointed and rejected, and from there he deteriorated until eventually he blasphemed Hashem. Looking at his life, a person might say, "How could he not become bitter? Look at what he went through. Nobody wanted him. Nobody accepted him. Under his circumstances, it's understandable." However, perhaps one of the reasons the Torah records this incident is to teach us the opposite lesson. Although his circumstances were difficult, he still had a choice. His background only explained his struggle, but it did not excuse his actions. The Ishbitzer Rebbe contrasted the Megadef with David HaMelech. David also grew up feeling rejected. Chazal tell us that his own family did not recognize him. His father looked at him differently than all his other sons, and his brothers looked down upon him. Even when he rose to greatness, Shaul HaMelech tried to kill him. He was forced to run from place to place. Even after becoming king, his suffering did not end. His own son Avshalom rebelled against him and tried to kill him. David could have spent his life asking, "Hashem, why did You put me in such a world? Why am I facing so much rejection and pain?" But instead, whenever David faced hardship, he turned to Hashem. Whenever he felt alone, he picked up his kinor and sang songs to Hashem. While he was running for his life, he sang to Hashem. When he was betrayed, humiliated, and attacked, he sang to Hashem. Those songs became Sefer Tehillim. The very pain that could have destroyed him became the source of his greatness. The very hardships that could have filled him with bitterness became the inspiration for some of the most beautiful words in all of Tanach. The difference between the Megadef and David HaMelech was not their circumstances. Both experienced rejection. Both experienced pain. Both had reasons to feel hurt by the world around them. The difference was in the choice they made in response. One allowed his hardships to push him away from Hashem, while the other allowed his hardships to bring him closer to Hashem. Every person faces challenges that are unique to him. Some begin life with advantages, while others face obstacles that seem overwhelming. Our greatness will not be determined by where we started. It will be determined by what we did with what we were given. The more difficult the challenge, the greater is the potential for greatness. Someone who overcomes very big obstacles can reach heights that others may never attain. When a person refuses to use his background as an excuse and instead uses it as a springboard for growth, he transforms his struggles into achievements. Nobody chooses the circumstances into which he is born, but everyone can choose how he responds to them. And the choices we make can make all the difference between, chas v'shalom, becoming a Megadef or becoming someone like David HaMelech.