Non-Monogamy on Your Own Terms: Growth, Jealousy & Freedom with Evita "Lavitaloca" Sawyers

What happens when non-monogamy stops being about labels and starts being about lived experience? In this powerful and deeply honest episode of Beyond Monogamy with Adam & Pris, we're joined by speaker, author, and relationship coach Evita "Lavitaloca" Sawyers for a conversation that goes far beyond surface-level polyamory talk. This episode is all about learning how to live non-monogamy on your own terms — not the internet's, not your partner's, and definitely not some outdated rulebook you never agreed to in the first place. Evita shares her personal journey from swinging to polyamory, the emotional chaos that came with it, and how jealousy became one of her greatest teachers instead of a relationship-ending villain. We talk about why jealousy isn't a failure, why compersion isn't mandatory, and why "doing it right" looks different for everyone. If you've ever felt like you were bad at non-monogamy, overwhelmed by emotional reactions, or confused by labels that don't quite fit — this episode will feel like a deep exhale. In this episode, we cover: Why non-monogamy doesn't need a label to be valid The emotional shift from swinging to polyamory Why jealousy isn't the enemy — and how to work with it The myth that compersion is required to be "good" at polyamory How freedom, curiosity, and gratitude change relationship dynamics Letting go of entitlement in relationships Why growth in non-monogamy is messy, nonlinear, and completely normal Evita also breaks down her now-famous analogy of switching relationship operating systems — and why moving from monogamy to non-monogamy isn't a flip of a switch, but a full system reboot. If you're new to ethical non-monogamy, questioning polyamory, or redefining what open relationships mean to you, this episode will meet you exactly where you are. Follow & Learn More About Our Guest: Evita "Lavitaloca" Sawyers is the author of A Polyamory Devotional and the voice behind the popular "Daily Polyamory Reminders." Her work centers emotional literacy, communication, and radical honesty in modern relationships. Connect with us: Visit www.beyond-monogamy.com for episode blogs, guest bios, events, merch, and our anonymous Beyond Monogamy Confessional. Catch us on FullSwapRadio.com every Thursday at 2 PM & 7 PM CST. Don't forget to like, subscribe, rate, review, and share the show — it helps more curious couples find conversations like this one.