Not Cheating but Still Lying: Staying Safe when the Lying Persists (with Lisa Taylor)

What happens when the behaviour stops—but the lying doesn’t?In this powerful and nuanced conversation, I’m joined by Lisa Taylor, a counsellor and APSATS-trained practitioner who specialises in betrayal trauma, sex addiction, and recovery.Together, we explore one of the most painful and confusing aspects of betrayal: ongoing dishonesty—even when there is sobriety.If you’ve found yourself upset with lying, lack of transparency, minimising and evasion, even when you're pretty sure he's no longer acting out  —this episode is for you.We unpack: Why lying often hurts more than the betrayal itself The difference between lies of omission and lies of commission A deeper look at intent behind dishonesty—from malicious harm to self-protection and carelessness How patterns of lying can become automatic or even unconscious The impact of compartmentalisation and cognitive distortions Why understanding why someone lies does not make it okayMost importantly, we focus on what you can do: How to discern what’s actually happening How to anchor into your own reality Practical ways to increase your sense of safety Holding your ground with clear, protective boundariesThis episode is especially for women who are: Navigating a relationship where sobriety is present  Still holding space for repair  Trying to rebuild safety while facing ongoing dishonesty We also gently acknowledge: Hearing about lying and deception may feel activating. Please listen at your own pace, care for yourself, and reach out for support if needed.My hope is that this conversation brings you clarity, validation, and grounded confidence—so you can make decisions that honour your safety and your truth.Links & Resources: Visit Quiet Wisdom for supportive resources, or explore my free tools designed to help you feel more grounded, clear, and confident after betrayal.Naked Truth Recovery offers groups for men seeking to heal their relationships as they recover from compulsive problematic sexual behaviours. There are also supportive groups for women healing from betrayal trauma.Lisa's books :Beyond Betrayal: How God is Healing Women (and Couples) from InfidelityThere's What on my Phone? How God's Good Gift Beats Porn (for kids aged 10-12)Send Jane a noteConnect with Jane at Quiet WisdomJoin the Support Group Waitlist