Not Everything Can Be Solved, Nor Does It Need To Be

May: On LoveMay 24Today's reflection was inspired by a quote from Henri Nouwen and his book Out of Solitude: Three Meditations on the Christian Life.I’ll never have all the answers as to why my father was the way he was, or why my wife and I had to suffer those miscarriages—but it doesn’t matter, because those chapters of my life happened how they happened and I learned from them. What I carry with me now, years after those events hurt me and brought me to tears and dropped me to my knees, isn’t the suffering they caused, rather the silent love and presence my wife, family, and friends showed me.Some folks, of course, would share the classics: Everything’s going to be okay, It all happens for a reason, This is God’s will, and all the rest. Or they’d spew out a variety of excuses—well-meaning, perhaps, but lacking any factual basis and barely grounded in the reality of the situation. Sometimes, it seemed they did this just to fill the silence with something, or to make themselves feel better—maybe because they couldn’t stand the sight of someone else’s suffering, or because it reminded them of their own.To speak truth, I don’t remember any of what those people said at the wake or in restaurants or bars or over the phone in their attempts to explain the pain away. I remember the quiet moments: holding my wife’s hand in our bedroom, or sitting beside my best friend on a bench and just letting the tears come with no need to fill the silence.Reflection title: Not Everything Can Be Solved, Nor Does It Need To BeCreative inspiration: Henri Nouwen, Out of Solitude: Three Meditations on the Christian LifeReflection Question: Do I have an unbalanced desire for solutions? Or do I try too hard to offer solutions to others when my presence would better serve them and the situation?