The Everyday Human

June: On Conflict and CourageGoFundMe for my wife's cancer fund:https://gofund.me/3682c6720June 16Marcus Aurelius said it over 2,000 years ago: Get busy with life's purpose, toss aside empty hopes, get active in your own rescue—if you care for yourself at all—and do it while you can.And this is the truth of it. By getting active in your own rescue—by caring about yourself, building up the courage you need to overcome the challenges in your own life, then—and only then—you just might wind up being the hero somebody else needs. Or the hero that you need.Always have the courage to seek help. But also, get busy with your purpose. Flap those wings, and don’t be afraid to make the wind yourself.Reflection title: If You Want the Wind, Make It YourselfCreative inspiration: Eastin DeVerna, Lux: From the Kingdom of DarknessReflection Question: What in my life have I been waiting for someone else to fix? What’s the first step I need to take in getting active in my own rescue?

June: On Conflict and CourageGoFundMe for my wife's cancer fund:https://gofund.me/3682c6720June 15How could this happen again? After all that hard work? How many more times—?Before your thoughts can even finish running their course, you feel your weight shift, your legs and feet moving of their own accord—and back down you go after your rock. A sly, almost crazed smile creeps across your face. You’re actually eager to get back down to it. To step behind it and place your hands upon that rough surface, dig your heels into the dirt and push, push, push it back up that mountain.At this point, you’re not sure it will ever end, but you smile anyway. You don’t care, because you realize—this is your job. This is what you were put here to do. Others might look at you like you’re crazy—but do they get the chance to struggle and push themselves to their limits again and again—to push past those limits when it seems they can go no further?It’s the struggle that fills your heart, you realize. It’s the struggle that makes the view at the top that much better. Up and down, up and down, up and down. However many times. It doesn’t matter. This is your life. And you’re happy for it.Reflection title: Negate the Gods, Raise the RocksCreative inspiration: Albert Camus, The Myth of SisyphusReflection Question: What is my rock, and how do I see it? As an external burden I’m looking to shed? Or as a part of me and my life—my story?

June: On Conflict and CourageGoFundMe for my wife's cancer fund:https://gofund.me/3682c6720June 14When danger comes your way, you won’t turn a blind eye and ignore it, you won’t wildly throw yourself at it with no plan—you’ll be prepared, you’ll see it for what it is, and you’ll face it. But you never have to go it alone. Link may have only had a sword to help him back in the 80s, but maybe the fact that it was gifted by a caring old man who worried over Link and his journey was enough to serve the purpose. Even if no one is with you physically, remember that people are rooting for you and guiding you. Carry them with you in your heart and mind.So take the sword willingly, but don’t look at it as a symbol of violence or aggression, rather as proof of your determination and defiance in the face of adversity.At some point on your journey, conflict lies ahead. Be sure of it. Expect it.Prepare for it.Reflection title: Expect a QuestCreative inspiration: The Old Man in a Cave, The Legend of Zelda (1986)Reflection Question: It’s dangerous to go alone! What sword are you taking with you? What danger did you face in the past that you wish you had been better prepared for?

June: On Conflict and CourageGoFundMe for my wife's cancer fund:https://gofund.me/3682c6720June 13Courage is not a man with a gun in his hand.Courage is not aggression masquerading as bravery. Courage is not punching down.Courage is not using force or intimidation to silence others.Courage is not shouting over others.Courage is not gaslighting others or lying to them.Courage is not keeping quiet when you know it’s right to speak up.Courage is not avoiding difficult conversations out of fear.Courage is not denial of facts or reason.Courage is not ignoring evidence that challenges your beliefs or worldview.Reflection title: What Courage Is NotCreative inspiration: Harper Lee, Atticus Finch, To Kill a MockingbirdReflection Question: Real courage is . . . 

June: On Conflict and CourageGoFundMe for my wife's cancer fund:https://gofund.me/3682c6720June 12While the failures of the powerful are glaring, they mirror something deeper and closer to home. This applies to those with influence or control—those who’ve publicly abdicated their personal responsibility and accountability, yes—but it also applies to all humans, all over the world. In a time when we all face global challenges like war, climate change, injustice, or poverty (the list goes on), we as individuals must stop and examine what role we’ve played in any or all of it. We have to recognize our mistakes, admit them freely and openly, and then work to fix them. We have to show the future generation a better way and that there is still moral courage left in this world.We all have the power to act as Mordin did when he made the decision to release the cure and fix the problem he created, even if it meant losing it all. We all have the obligation to act with integrity. Especially when it’s hard. Especially when it’s personal. That’s where it begins.It has to be you.Someone else might get it wrong.Reflection title: Has To Be YouCreative inspiration: Mass Effect 3Reflection Question: Am I owning up to my mistakes? Do I embrace my personal responsibility to fix the problems I’ve created? If not, where will I start?

June: On Conflict and CourageGoFundMe for my wife's cancer fund:https://gofund.me/3682c6720June 11It’s the child who hears the banging outside their window at night, burying themselves beneath the covers, hiding from the monster trying to get in, but if they’d just look, they’d see it’s nothing more than a loose shutter in the wind. If you stand your ground and face your fear—all of those other possibilities fall away. You’ll never even be able to remember them all. You will see what you’re up against, and you will be empowered to think and choose your best course of action. Simply, facing your fears with courage puts you in control of how you handle the situation, and even better, it puts you in control of your own mind and reasoning.So, take a page from the young fictional soldier Henry Fleming’s book and know that it is better to view the appalling than to be merely within hearing.Reflection title: Don’t Turn AroundCreative inspiration: Stephen Crane, The Red Badge of CourageReflection Question: What appalling thing in my life am I turning my back on? What small things can I face head on with courage now, leading up to larger challenges?

June: On Conflict and CourageGoFundMe for my wife's cancer fund:https://gofund.me/3682c6720June 10The shopping, social media, exercise and health, and AI apps are meant to make our lives “easier” or “better,” but they often only complicate things further at the cost of our own accountability and autonomy.It takes discipline and time to slow down and think for yourself. And it’s not a perfect world—and it’s not always easy. Sometimes the cards are stacked against you. Remember—thought is the greatest threat to those in power. Ever think of the possibility that they want to make it as easy as possible for you not to think?So slow down, sift through the noise and take your rational and reasoned tools and get to work on your understanding of the matter. It takes courage to dare to know, but you have what it takes. Reflection title: Dare To Know! Creative inspiration: Immanuel Kant, An Answer to the Question: What Is Enlightenment?Reflection Question: Do I dare to do the work? To get my hands dirty to really know something? Where am I taking the easy way out?

June: On Conflict and CourageGoFundMe for my wife's cancer fund:https://gofund.me/3682c6720June 9Blossoms of honesty on the branches between the leaves.With kindness, you turn to those crawling upon the blighted sands toward your feet, you crouch low, and let them eat of the fruit of the tree of thought. Returning to form, they stand. Shrieks of pain and wrath from the castle. It is what those rulers fear most: this unflinching thought, spreading like a cure for the plague, anarchic and lawless—merciless to their privilege, indifferent to their authority. A thought that looks upon the pit of hell they have created and is not afraid.And together with your people, you march upon this castle built on sand, your thought, swift and free like the wind, blows upon the feeble foundation, and down it falls.It is what they fear most.It all starts with a thought.Your thought.Reflection title: Tear Those Castles DownCreative inspiration: Bertrand Russell, Why Men FightReflection Question: What is my thought being controlled by? Do I fear critical thought as it challenges the foundations of my beliefs and the status quo?

June: On Conflict and CourageGoFundMe for my wife's cancer fund:https://gofund.me/3682c6720June 8“Never regret your mistakes”Not entirely trueLike life, and being human—It’s nuanced and graySome mistakes? Those mistakes madeThat irrevocably changed everything? For the worse?Those from which there is no return?Feel free to regret thoseBut only if you have the mind to see them as mistakesAnd if you do, from that awarenessAnd courage to see the truthYou will grow, and shed your old skinIrrevocably changing for the betterAll because of realization And regretReflection title: Never Say NeverCreative inspiration: Yogi TeaReflection Question: What mistakes am I clear-eyed enough to regret? How can I learn and grow from these, irrevocably changing for the better?

June: On Conflict and CourageI mention again in this episode that wife has recently been diagnosed with cancer. We have a GoFundMe campaign live now to help ease the financial burden of medical expenses. If you are able to contribute or share, we would be eternally grateful. You can find the link here: https://gofund.me/3682c6720June 7From the top, away from the flood and the flames, that’s where you’ll find your solution and your path forward. And you might be tempted, along the way, to try and restore the balance and harmony that once was before the disaster struck, but that’s not an option. We know that by now. What’s done is done. The past cannot be changed. These events we face forever change us. So you must fight that temptation with everything you’ve got, knowing instead you’ll create something new that transcends the past.When these monsters of life come your way (and they will), you must slow down, have faith in yourself and in others and maybe in something higher—you must choose courage and rise above.Reflection title: Rise Like the WindCreative inspiration: Angie Branham Mullins, The Psychology of ZeldaReflection Question: Am I choosing the easy reactions to obstacles? Or am I rising above with courage to see a new way forward?

June: On Conflict and CourageI announce in this episode that my wife has recently been diagnosed with cancer. We have a GoFundMe campaign live now to help ease the financial burden of medical expenses. If you are able to contribute or share, we would be eternally grateful. You can find the link here: https://gofund.me/3682c6720June 6Rather than looking at the terrible things that happen to us as enemies, instead, look at them with compassion—remember to love your fate. Listen to those internal or external conflicts plaguing you. Try to understand what created them in the first place, where they came from, and what they need. You may be surprised to learn that in some cases, it was you who gave them life in the first place.So, to reiterate—do not flee from the discomfort in your life, the challenges, and terrible things. Stand up to them, yes—sometimes, you will need your sword and shield—no doubt. However, other times, your best path forward will be to listen to the sorrow, fear, or conflict. Hear what they have to say. If you listen to truly understand them—with honesty and patience—they or you may transform into something beautiful. Remember, you never know what these conditions are doing inside you.Reflection title: Hic Sunt Dracones, but They’re Not What You ThinkCreative inspiration: Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young PoetReflection Question: Am I reflecting on the root causes of my pain and sorrow? Am I listening to what they need, and am I giving room for these conditions to do work inside me?

June: On Conflict and CourageJune 5Testing our courage at its highest point, isn’t easy. Often, we fail the test. Yet, there’s no need to get down on yourself. Practicing the virtues can go against our instinct for self-preservation. It’s natural to keep your head down rather than speak up and risk becoming the next target. It’s natural to act virtuously when it’s easy and everyone else is doing it—and to falter when it becomes truly difficult or really matters.The first step in passing such tests of courage is to be aware that you are human and that this is difficult—and to know that you will fail. But as always, you must get up, learn from the past, and move forward to do better next time. Until you show your wisdom, honesty, patience, gratitude, and mercy even when—especially when—it’s risky.Reflection title: Are You Passing the Test?Creative inspiration: C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape LettersReflection Question: Am I practicing the virtues even when it’s risky? Am I passing or failing the tests life throws at me—and how can I work to do better?

June: On Conflict and CourageJune 4Can you go back the way you came? You could . . . I guess. But you might wind up in a worse spot. And also, remember, you don’t even remember how you got here in the first place. So that probably won’t work. Oh, and look—a massive boulder broke off the wall of the cavern and blocked your path anyway. Impossible to go back to the past. Sorry, you’ll have to think of something else.Look around. What about sideways? What’s off the edge of the narrow bridge you’re standing on? (Yes, now you’re on a thin and narrow bridge.) Nothing but blackness. Might be water far down below, but more than likely, it’s a pit of spikes, skeletons and skulls of past adventurers (or even past versions of you) impaled upon them. Don’t want to end up like that, do you?Well, what does this leave you? Forward.But forward is where the dragon is. Yes.Go anyway?You’ve no other choice!Reflection title: Which Way?Creative inspiration: J.R.R. Tolkien, The HobbitReflection Question: What dragon am I currently avoiding? Do I have the courage to go the only direction available to me—forward?

June: On Conflict and CourageJune 3Throughout your life you’ll find yourself pushed and pulled in all kinds of directions by all kinds of people and circumstances—a lot of them will not have your best interests in mind. But you’ll go along with it because you’re afraid of hurting or inconveniencing others. Or because you trust their words and advice over your own, when in reality, what they’re asking you to do is in direct conflict with your authentic self. And listening to them pulls you from your path.You have the ability to stand up for yourself. To help yourself, which will in turn allow you to help others. You just need to take the first step—small as it is. Little by little, you'll move on, their voices becoming echoes until they fade and you can no longer hear them, and your own voice replaces theirs. It’s possible. You just have to begin the journey.Reflection title: Stand Up for Others, Stand Up for YourselfCreative inspiration: Mary Oliver, "The Journey"Reflection Question: Do I have the courage to stand up for myself? To do right by me, so I can do right by others?

June: On Conflict and CourageJune 2This idea of seeking help from none was ingrained in Victorian masculinity—and perhaps as well with a colonial mindset, but it’s a dangerous and lonely belief—one that can lead to festering mental and emotional wounds and isolation. Gordon lost his daughter at 11 months, had his head cracked against a gatepost by his horse, and was facing financial ruin. It seems a deep-running depression was almost inevitable given the circumstances.But I have to wonder, could things have been different for him had he the courage to seek the help he so desperately needed? I suppose conjecture is the only answer we’ll get to the question. Nevertheless, Gordon’s poetry outlived his despair and has offered others strength, where perhaps they needed it desperately.What I would like to pull from this beautiful poem and sad story about a man who died so young is that we must recognize that seeking help is not a weakness but rather it is in our nature as social creatures and it is often a wise thing to do. Sometimes this comes with age, in some sad cases it comes too late or not at all. Sometimes it’s the bravest thing a person can do. Seeking help is a courageous thing, indeed. Reflection title: Have the Courage To AskCreative inspiration: Adam Lindsay Gordon, "Ye Weary Wayfarer"Reflection Question: Do I have the wisdom to recognize when I need help from others? Do I have the courage to seek it?

June: On Conflict and CourageJune 1June begins a new month and a new topic: On Conflict and Courage.You must learn to recognize fear so you can master it—that’s where courage comes from. To think you’re without fear, or that it’s only something that happens to others is foolish—that is a weakness. So feel your fears, face them so you can resist and tame them. After all, you wouldn’t want to be a flea, would you?Reflection title: Are You a Human or a Flea? Creative inspiration: Mark Twain, The Tragedy of Pudd'nhead WilsonReflection Question: Do I recognize and acknowledge my fears? Do I choose courage despite them?

May: On LoveMay 31We’ve talked about it before—the world will give you endless reasons every day to frown, snarl, and bite back at it (or at the other people inhabiting it). But where will that get you? You’ll satisfy an animalistic instinct to “fight” back for a moment, but after that? Oh, you’ll have some elevated levels of epinephrine (adrenaline), norepinephrine, and cortisol (which can be life-saving in certain circumstances!) but overall, when the moment passes and your body regulates, you’ll be left feeling exhausted, tense, or maybe even have some digestive issues. And really, reacting this way changes nothing.The alternative? Slow down. Consider what it is you’re reacting to—and maybe more importantly, why you’re reacting to it, and why you’re reacting the way you are.Stop. Breathe. Think.Can you see how silly it is that a random stranger’s comment at the store or on social media might upset you? Can you laugh at the absurdity of modern life and the rat race we find ourselves in? Can you smile in the face of any disaster that might come your way—because you’re still here and you’re still breathing and you’re giving it everything you’ve got?Reflection title: Share Your SmileCreative inspiration: Mother Teresa, Nobel Lecture, 1979Reflection Question: Am I doing my best to meet the world and others with a smile? Am I smiling at myself?

May: On LoveMay 30It’s a risky thing—loving someone or something. Because if you love—if you truly love someone—you’ve given them everything you’ve got. And should they go? Should they be taken from you? Well . . . what have you got left?It happens all the time. You hear romantic stories of elderly partners passing away within days of each other . . . death by a broken heart. This is something called the widowhood effect. And while there doesn’t seem to be a clear medical reason as to why it might happen, it goes to highlight, at the least, just how important love is in our lives. So important that sometimes we can’t live without it.Reflection title: Warning: Deep Well AheadCreative inspiration: Eastin DeVerna, Life Is But a DreamReflection Question: Am I prepared to lose the one I love most? Are they prepared to lose me? What promise can I make to myself and to them about carrying on? 

May: On LoveMay 29What have we done to ourselves—in a world where we have forgotten (or ignore) the answer to the fundamental question of our existence? What false gods have replaced the very essence of what makes us human? Work, entertainment, money. And, you know as well as I, that that is just the tip of the iceberg of things we place over love. If we continue on this path—this path of neglecting the answer of love—as a group, as a society, as a species, we run the risk of dividing ourselves further. Deeper racial, class, political, and religious divides await us before we ultimately will perish.Love and its siblings, compassion and connection, are essential in all human systems and please understand they are not optional and decorative nice-to-haves. They must be front and foremost in all we take part in—and this, of course, starts with yourself and extends to families all the way to how we work and how we govern ourselves. We either suppress or nurture love, and I for one have seen enough of the suppression of it.Reflection title: This Is Your Number-One PriorityCreative inspiration: Erich Fromm, The Art of LovingReflection Question: Where does love fall in my list of priorities? Have I forgotten it? And what will I do to remember it?

May: On LoveMay 28Today, May 28th, marks your death. According to your calendar, you have until eight PM. And then it's all over. So the question is how will you spend the time you have left? What will you do? Who do you want to spend this time with? Is it possible to tie up any loose ends on any projects or tasks? Do these even matter anymore? And perhaps most importantly , what do you want to say and to whom? What are you feeling inside that you need to bring to light? Don't wait to reach out to that estranged relative or that friend you fell out with or just kind of stopped talking to. Let them know you’re thinking of them. Tell your partner you love them. Hold your child and let them hear your words as often as time allows. If you love them, say it now. Waiting is a mistake.Reflection title: What Are You Waiting For?Creative inspiration: Haruki MurakamiReflection Question: Who have I been thinking about that I need to reach out to? Who do I love that needs to hear the words today before it's too late?

May: On LoveMay 27Today's reflection was inspired by a quote from “The Giaour” By Lord Byron.There are places where the wolves dare not go. Even when pressed with hunger, they know to avoid barren landscapes, those slippery and icy slopes, or forests that have been burned and scarred by fire. These are places where nature is harsh and unforgiving, where life struggles to gain a foothold.And there are places where even we dare not go willingly. Those emotional or moral wastelands where even the cruelest and hardest among us cannot survive long. The valleys of death and loss, where memories of joy and life are stripped of their flesh and their bones lie bleached beneath a merciless sun. Or those oceans of despair and grief and obsession so deep we sink without a trace.But even in the most dire, hopeless, haunted, and morally extinct places, you will find a lone traveler—braving the cutting winds and poisoned air, trekking over the bones of the dead and through fields of knives—all to reach the one they love. And even if they falter or fail, they will not sigh, because nothing could ever make the pursuit of love worthless.Reflection title: Where Wolves Won’t GoCreative inspiration: Lord Byron, “The Giaour”Reflection Question: Where and how far would I go for those I love? Will I find courage to enter those harsh and unforgiving realms?

May: On LoveMay 26Today's reflection was inspired by a quote from Aberjhani's poem “Star People” from Elemental: The Power of Illuminated Love.There are extreme distances we might go for love. But if you’ve ever felt a strong love for someone—a partner, child, parent, friend, whoever—you would understand that nothing, neither man nor nature, could stand between you and them. To anyone looking in from the outside with a rational mind, such extreme behavior would appear foolish and self-destructive. And maybe it is.* But don’t try and tell that to the person who has the white-hot fire of love in their soul. It’d be a waste of breath. Because for them, it’s just right.*Humans have been known to be quite destructive over love, haven’t we? We’ve also done great and wondrous deeds for it, so take that how you will.Reflection title: To the Ends of the Earth, Would You Follow Me?Creative inspiration: Aberjhani, “Star People,” Elemental: The Power of Illuminated LoveReflection Question: To what ends would I go for those I love? What might I do, even if it scares me to think of it?

May: On LoveMay 25Today's reflection was inspired by another quote from Marcus Aurelius' Meditations.We’ve lost a sense of harmony with nature and the rhythm of the stars.Instead of fighting tooth and nail, try to accept, surrender, and love your reality—the “good” and the “bad.” And not in a passive, morose way, rather in a way that empowers you, like paddling down a whitewater river. You don’t try to turn around and force your way upstream against the rocks and churning water to get to where you came from, you work with it, ready for whatever comes your way next, knowing this is the path you’re on—hard and dangerous as it is, it can be beautiful and invigorating all the same. Loving your fate is a difficult concept to wrap your head around, no doubt about it. It’s even harder to put into practice, and this is important: it’s not “loving” something as in, “I’m so happy this happened!” because, of course, horrible things are nothing to be happy about, rather this love is a type of acceptance of the things out of your control and the things written for the story of your life—the only one you’ve got.Reflection title: Can You Love Your Fate?Creative inspiration: Marcus Aurelius, MeditationsReflection Question: Am I loving my fate, or fighting it every step of the way? Is this something I can do, or even agree with?

May: On LoveMay 24Today's reflection was inspired by a quote from Henri Nouwen and his book Out of Solitude: Three Meditations on the Christian Life.I’ll never have all the answers as to why my father was the way he was, or why my wife and I had to suffer those miscarriages—but it doesn’t matter, because those chapters of my life happened how they happened and I learned from them. What I carry with me now, years after those events hurt me and brought me to tears and dropped me to my knees, isn’t the suffering they caused, rather the silent love and presence my wife, family, and friends showed me.Some folks, of course, would share the classics: Everything’s going to be okay, It all happens for a reason, This is God’s will, and all the rest. Or they’d spew out a variety of excuses—well-meaning, perhaps, but lacking any factual basis and barely grounded in the reality of the situation. Sometimes, it seemed they did this just to fill the silence with something, or to make themselves feel better—maybe because they couldn’t stand the sight of someone else’s suffering, or because it reminded them of their own.To speak truth, I don’t remember any of what those people said at the wake or in restaurants or bars or over the phone in their attempts to explain the pain away. I remember the quiet moments: holding my wife’s hand in our bedroom, or sitting beside my best friend on a bench and just letting the tears come with no need to fill the silence.Reflection title: Not Everything Can Be Solved, Nor Does It Need To BeCreative inspiration: Henri Nouwen, Out of Solitude: Three Meditations on the Christian LifeReflection Question: Do I have an unbalanced desire for solutions? Or do I try too hard to offer solutions to others when my presence would better serve them and the situation?

May: On LoveMay 23Today's reflection was inspired by a quote from Alfred Lord Tennyson's Idylls of the King—Book 6: Merlin and Vivien.You’ve heard it a thousand times before—actions speak louder than words. And so too is it true with love. You can tell someone you love them until the end of time, but if your actions are not those of love, then what good are your words? Reflection title: Action & ActionCreative inspiration: Alfred Lord Tennyson, Idylls of the King—Book 6: Merlin and VivienReflection Question: How do I show my love? What do my actions show about me?

May: On LoveMay 22Today's reflection was inspired by a quote from Ursula K. Le Guin's book The Lathe of Heaven.Is love some carved, painted statue meant to sit dusty in a museum of your life? Of course not. Just as it is not something you purchase, or something that just appears one day. It has an origin . . . like a seed. It is a complex, living, breathing, and fragile thing that needs constant nurturing and attention, like a garden that sprouts from that seed—or making bread from scratch. It requires time and sacrifice and care and patience and understanding. It demands from you the capacity to nurture, to give, and to receive. Provide this attention and care and others will look at you and think, Damn, they make it look easy. But you’ll know the truth.Reflection title: Water It and Watch It GrowCreative inspiration: Ursula K. Le Guin, The Lathe of HeavenReflection Question: What are my assumptions of love? How am I nurturing the love in my life?

May: On LoveMay 21Today's reflection was inspired by a quote from Baba Dioum, from the 1968, Triennial Meeting of the General Assembly of the International Union for the Conservation of Nature and Natural Resources (IUCN), New Delhi.And so we have it: Love is key to not only survival, but to coexisting and preserving the beauty of our world and of each other. We are one species of humanity, but we can be infinitely different in infinite ways. We can all be the other or view other humans as the other. How do we stop that from happening? By learning from each other. By seeing from another’s perspective. By practicing patience and acquiring tolerance through education. From that fertile ground grows love. We’re still working on it. But it’s possible. And like so many things worthwhile, it starts with you.Reflection title: Love for the OtherCreative inspiration: Baba Dioum, 1968, Triennial Meeting of the General Assembly of the International Union for the Conservation of Nature and Natural Resources (IUCN), New DelhiReflection Question: Have I viewed that which I do not understand with fear or disdain? How can I educate myself to better understand and replace my negative feelings with love?

May: On LoveMay 20Today's reflection was inspired by a quote from Jonny Cash.It’s an interesting thing, this idea that paradise is somewhere out there waiting for you. And I blame the travel industry and marketing. You’ve been sold this idea that where you live and where you are isn’t paradise, and that you need this idea of paradise to be happy, but as the old saying goes, “wherever you go, there you are.” Are you going to buy into it? When what they’re really selling you is this idea of escape?They’re just other places, after all, right? The people there have their own visions of paradise or escape, maybe. It’s really a matter of perspective and choice. So, will you let paradise be another place? Or will it be anywhere, wherever you are and with the loved one you’re next to?Reflection title: Let’s Meet Up Again in ParadiseCreative inspiration: Johnny CashReflection Question: Where is my paradise and who is there with me?

May: On LoveMay 19Today's reflection was inspired by the poem "Once I Passed Through a Populous City" by Walt Whitman.So what is it that endures through time? What will the ruins of the places I visit and live in now look like 3000 years into the future? Will some soul wander through and imagine the lives and love that existed millennia ago? Perhaps . . .What endures these ages later is not the purpose of buildings, the utility of them or the practicality of the streets, but the enduring power of human will and connection, and the ghosts of love.Reflection title: What Will Remain?Creative inspiration: Walt Whitman, "Once I Passed Through a Populous City"Reflection Question: Where have I been where no memories remain but the love I felt? Where will I go next and with whom?

May: On LoveMay 18Today's reflection was inspired by a quote from the video game Unravel Two.There will come a time when you reach a wall that only your partner has the strength to climb. Or you come to a crevasse that only you have the skill to leap across. They climb the wall, turn with a smile, and pull you up after them. You make it across to the other side and tell them to jump—to trust that you’ll pull your string, giving them the extra speed they need to get across.These strings—these bonds—do not hold you back. These bonds of love are sometimes the only thing you’ll have to make it out of those inevitable times of hardship and darkness. Because you’ll go through them, and your loved one and me and everyone else. Just don’t forget to tug your string, asking for help when you need it. And don’t forget to wait for that tug from someone else and be ready to offer your hand.Climb higher together. Build anew. And love, love, love.Reflection title: Tie Those KnotsCreative inspiration: Unravel TwoReflection Question: Have I been looking at my bonds all wrong—as though they were holding me back when really, they’re there to lift me up?

May: On LoveMay 17Today's reflection was inspired by a quote from Martin Luther King Jr., in particular from A Testament of Hope: The Essential Writings and Speeches.If you’ve been hurt or wronged, choosing love can be one of the most difficult things to do. Choosing compassion over judgment, empathy over resentment, kindness over cruelty might seem a herculean task. Or to some, even idealistic. But it is possible. Look at those who have come before and faced far worse brutality and inhumanity and still found it in their hearts to love. Yes, it is possible. But it is also a choice—one that does not come easy or without deliberate teaching, studying, training. And it is also a choice that is worth it. One that will send ripples into the world far beyond what you’ll ever be able to see. Choosing to love can be one of the most difficult things to do, until it isn’t.Reflection title: Keep the Tree AliveCreative inspiration: Martin Luther King Jr., A Testament of Hope: The Essential Writings and SpeechesReflection Question: What must I put down so that I can carry more love?

May: On LoveMay 16Today's reflection was inspired by a poem by Matsuo Bashō.You live your life, you think, according to what you want to do, or perhaps should do, or what others tell you to do. This goes with being an active participant in society.But when was the last time you slowed down enough, left your screens and job and whatever might demand your attention for a time to just be? If only even for a minute or two. If only for a moment?When was the last time you made time for the important things in life, like snow-viewing with the ones you love? Are you spending too much time on things that just . . . don't matter?Reflection title: Watch the SnowCreative inspiration: Matsuo Bashō, 132Reflection Question: Am I making time for the important things—like snow-viewing—with the ones I love? Or am I spending too much time doing things that don’t really matter?

May: On LoveMay 15Today's reflection was inspired by a quote from Thomas Merton's book No Man Is an Island.Sometimes it takes a lot of trial and error to figure out the secret: that love—real love—is a radical acceptance of your friend, family member, or partner. It’s not liking the same things. It’s not running in the same crowd. It’s not about sharing the same physical space day after day. It’s not loving someone for the potential you believe they have, or for the expectations you’ve set for them in your mind. It’s not about trying to reshape them to better fit your personality or your needs. It’s loving them for who they are. Right here and right now.And besides, if you really loved them, why would you want them to be more like you? Why would you want to change them?You wouldn’t.* *Unless, of course, they were actively harming themselves or others.Reflection title: Love Them for Who They AreCreative inspiration: Thomas Merton, No Man Is an IslandReflection Question: Do I love my partner, my friends, my children, and my family for who they are now—not for who I want them to be? Not for who I imagine they could become if they just changed this or that?

May: On LoveMay 14Today's reflection was inspired by the poem "A Dandelion for My Mother" by Jean Nordhaus.The resilient and unassuming dandelion. A symbol of love and life.It holds more love in it than the diamonds mined from the bowels of the earth by exploited hands.It will hold strong in the face of poison and death and find ways on the wind to new life.It will offer the chance to wish to a little child, for it exists for all such natural things.Reflection title: It Will Be SoCreative inspiration: Jean Nordhaus, "A Dandelion for My Mother"Reflection Question: What can I learn of love and life from the stubborn resilience and beauty of the dandelion? What event in my life needs resilience and love to endure and overcome?

May: On LoveMay 13Today's reflection was inspired by a quote from Final Fantasy VIII.Unlike Keats’ Bold Lover from yesterday, you can’t make time stand still. You can’t live eternally in anticipation, but seeing that and knowing it is a gift, because you can recognize the moment when it’s here—each and every moment. The meeting. The seconds leading up to the kiss. The kiss itself. And the parting. Each is sacred. Each is a sentence on a page in the book of your life. So when you have those special moments with your loved ones, recognize it—say the words: I want the present to stand still, knowing full well it will never happen, but you can relish in the fact that you even experienced it in the first place. It’s the fleeting nature of the moment that makes it so special—so accept that it won’t stay, but don’t let it slip away either.Reflection title: You Don’t Have To Let It Slip AwayCreative inspiration: Final Fantasy VIIIReflection Question: Do I acknowledge the wonderful and fleeting moments in my life with those I love? Or do I take them for granted, believing I’ll always have more?

May: On LoveMay 12Today's reflection was inspired by John Keats' poem "Ode on a Grecian Urn."What if it’s neither the journey nor the destination? In Big Panda and Tiny Dragon by James Norbury, Big Panda asks, “Which is more important, the journey or the destination?” To which Tiny Dragon replies, “The company.” So you have to ask—would Keats’ Bold Lover be satisfied living frozen in time just nearing the kiss if it weren’t with someone they loved? Someone they couldn’t stand the thought of not kissing? And what would your journey through life toward death be like without those you love along for the ride? You might travel to beautiful places, savor delicacies, or hear the sweetest melodies—which is all well and good—but wouldn’t it be better if those you love were right there with you?Reflection title: Journey? Destination? Or Something Else?Creative inspiration: John Keats, "Ode on a Grecian Urn"Reflection Question: Have I been too fixated on the destination? Or a destination and not enough on the ones I love who are with me?

May: On LoveMay 11Today's reflection was inspired by a quote from Terry Pratchett's novel Sourcery.Love—it’s what makes the world go round. And it’s what allows us to survive on that same world made of rock and water, hurtling around the sun at 67,000 mph. Love is a beautiful thing to have, and some of the pragmatists or cynics out there might say, “Eh, it’s fine. But it’s a luxury. You don’t really need it.” And to that, I say, “Nay, it is essential in how it binds us together socially, emotionally, and even biologically. It’s how we survive this—whatever this is. It’s what makes life worth living.” Reflection title: Where Would We Be Without It?Creative inspiration: Terry Pratchett, SourceryReflection Question: What will I do to spread the love today?

May: On LoveMay 10Today's reflection was inspired by a quote from Shakespeare's Hamlet.Hamlet writes to Ophelia, declaring an unshakable love, and then his actions betray both those words and her. Did he mean the words he wrote—if only for a time? Was the love true, then, even if it didn’t last? That’s the harder question. But don’t be afraid to ask it. A love untested might be no love at all. Now, that said, listen to these words: Do not compare your love to others. You cannot measure your heart against someone else’s failure. You may doubt the stars, the sun and even truth itself. But if you hold the love in your heart as sacred and steady, if you feel it in your soul and know it to be real—what reason would you ever have to doubt it?Reflection title: To Doubt or Not To DoubtCreative inspiration: William Shakespeare, HamletReflection Question: Do I measure my heart by someone else’s story? Do I let doubt take root where certainty once grew? Do I know the love I carry to be real? 

May: On LoveMay 9Today's reflection was inspired by a quote from Oscar Wilde's play An Ideal Husband.It’s so important to love yourself. As the cliche goes, you can’t love someone else before you love yourself—and it’s true. It starts with the society within you—your soul. And it’s a lifelong romance . . . the most complex and fragile relationship you might ever have. It’s something, if nurtured, that deepens over time, just like any relationship—romantic or not—and each stage brings a new level of understanding and affection. It’s so important. I don’t think I can say it enough. If you take one single thing from this book (or podcast), take this: care for yourself, take care of yourself, love yourself. It all starts there. Reflection title: Take Yourself Out on a Date, SeriouslyCreative inspiration: Oscar Wilde, An Ideal HusbandReflection Question: Do I give myself the same care, respect, and attention that I reserve for others? Where could I strengthen my relationship with myself? And where am I taking myself out on a date—seriously—and when?

May: On LoveMay 8Today's reflection was inspired by a quote from Carl Sagan's novel Contact.Love—is it a mystical force of the cosmos? I deny that it is and claim rather that it is a deeply human one grounded in action and presence and in choice. One that transmutes our insignificance in the expanse into greatness. It is the only answer to the question and it is the only thing that can anchor us in the endless vastness of the stars and human consciousness. Some may say love is a construct. Maybe that’s true. Maybe it’s not. But if it is, it is our most honest invention, and our greatest gift back to the universe.Reflection title: Our Most Honest InventionCreative inspiration: Carl Sagan, ContactReflection Question: Have I been listening? Do I understand yet what the universe (indifferent or not) is teaching me about love?

May: On LoveMay 7Today's reflection was inspired by a quote from the 1998 masterpiece of a video game Xenogears.We can imagine that God had a choice when creating humans: create us perfectly, or make us flawed. And God chose, very obviously, to make us flawed. If we were perfect, then we would not help each other—perhaps even, we would not love each other. Would we even have a need for something like love?And so in order to fly, and as we are imperfect, and as we each have only one wing, we are dependent on one another.There’s a somber beauty in this idea. Who we are with others lies at the core of our being—the essence of what it means to be human. To exist in isolation, well that would make us something else entirely.Reflection title: The Two Great AngelsCreative inspiration: XenogearsReflection Question: Who do I rely on to fly? And who relies on me?

May: On LoveMay 6Today's reflection was inspired by a quote from the book The Book Thief by Markus Zusak. The fact that someone loves you so much that your mere presence is all they need to feel whole, protected, and loved in return is a remarkable and beautiful thing. It’s not always possible, of course. Other obligations call, you need your own time to be yourself, but know that when they need it most . . . that’s when it matters most. Those are the moments of fragility that you will be the glue holding it all together. Might that be a bit of pressure? Sure. But that comes with the territory of love. Stay now, while you can. Because one day, your time will be up, and you’ll no longer be able to.Reflection title: StayCreative inspiration: Markus Zusak, The Book ThiefReflection Question: Who do I need to stay for? And who do I need to stay for me?

May: On LoveMay 5Today's reflection was inspired by the poem "Music, When Soft Voices Die (To–)" by Percy Bysshe Shelley.It can be beautiful to hear a song you only listened to with your mother long after she is gone. It can be painful to smell the perfume or deodorant of your partner after they’ve left to live their life with another. It can be surreal to touch the wooden handle of your grandfather’s hammer and be transported back in time to his woodshop.And . . . it can be comforting to know that those loved ones you have lost, in whatever way the world has taken them from you, live on in your memories—memories hidden in a chest that only secret keys of the senses can unlock.Reflection title: The Key to the ChestCreative inspiration: Percy Bysshe Shelley, "Music, When Soft Voices Die (To--)Reflection Question: What slumbering love do I hold in my heart? Has anything stirred it awake recently? What do these feelings evoke in me? 

May: On LoveMay 4Today's reflection was inspired by the poem "Hyla Brook" by Robert Frost.There is a type of love out there. A love that love does not and will not tolerate ideals of perfection or expectations of permanence. No, instead it exists and thrives in the fleeting moments and in our flaws. This love’s roots grow deeper as the bearers age and are wind-stricken and suffer storms and are changed by time in the ways that only time can change us.This is the love that exists solely for you to love others for who they are—nothing more, nothing less. When the brook is rushing and babbling in spring and the frogs are splashing, and when it is dried and empty in the heat of summer, carpeted with dead leaves. Through it all and always.Reflection title: For What They AreCreative inspiration: Robert Frost, "Hyla Brook"Reflection Question: Do I hold ideals of perfection or expectations of permanence for those I love? Or do I love them for who they are?

May: On LoveMay 3Today's reflection was inspired by the poem "Love Walked Alone" by Stephen Crane.One cannot be stronger than the other. The stronger love grows, the stronger heart’s pain grows right alongside her—waiting, always waiting. The reason is simple as to why it’s so difficult for some to love—it is because the risk for suffering is so great. But the ultimate question you must ask yourself is this: is love worth the risk of the heart’s pain that comes with it?Reflection title: An Inevitable CompanionCreative inspiration: Stephen Crane, "Love Walked Alone"Reflection Question: I cannot have one without the other—so am I accepting of both love and heart’s pain? Is the risk worth it to me?

May: On LoveMay 2Today's reflection was inspired by a quote from Antoine de Saint-Exupéry's The Little Prince.There is so much—too much—emphasis on the wrong stuff. On what it means to live a good life. On what it means to be successful. Too many people have suffered from the belief—instilled in them from a young age by parents, peers, television, or now social media—that money and shiny objects and status equal happiness. And there does not seem to be an end in sight, so indeed, it bears repeating.Start by looking inward and teaching yourself through questioning: What is essential to me? What, at the end of my life, will be my regrets? What essential, immaterial things in my life like love and friendship have become eroded by the quest for the material? And once you have your answers, it will be time to do something about it. Never forget what matters most—the love in the air between partners, between parent and child, between friends, between you and our life-giving planet, the Earth. Never take for granted the time you have, and learn to use it wisely. Work to live, do not live to work. Keep your eyes shut and your heart open, because next thing you know, you’ll look up and it’ll be time to say goodbye to the fox.Reflection title: It Bears RepeatingCreative inspiration: Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little PrinceReflection Question: What is essential to me? What, at the end of my life, will be my regrets? What essential immaterial things in my life like love and friendship have become eroded by the quest for the material?

May: On LoveMay 1April, the month On Nature, is over, and May, the month On Love, is upon us.Today's reflection was inspired by a quote from Paulo Coelho's novel The Alchemist.Loving someone or something—to truly love them unconditionally and selflessly demands that you change and improve. Always. Your mind, body, and soul. It is to give away parts of yourself to them in the hopes that they may benefit, grow, and thrive. To truly love someone means to offer them your best self. Nothing short of it will do. And so you work toward this goal, all the while knowing it is unreachable—that the best version of yourself is each rung on an endless ladder. And with every step up you take, you are becoming better, you are loving better, and you are making the world around you better.Reflection title: The Endless LadderCreative inspiration: Paulo Coelho, The AlchemistReflection Question: How am I working to become better than I am for those that I love?

April: On NatureApril 30Today's reflection was inspired by the poem "The Gardener 85" by Rabindranath Tagore.Buy a bag of bulbs and plant them in the ground and think of all the other dirt-covered, cracked hands that dug through the same dirt you’re kneeling in now. Smell the honeysuckles and lilacs in April, think of all the others who stuck their noses into the flowers of the ancestors of that plant, those flowers that were visited by the bees of a hundred years ago and were turned to seed where the cycle continued through time to you and will continue on after you.Do this and know that you are never alone. That you and the plants and the gardens and fields are all threaded together in one massive tapestry of time. Reflection title: April 30, 2125Creative inspiration: Rabindranath Tagore, "The Gardener 85"Reflection Question: What can I do today, in the garden or in nature, that will echo 100 years into the future? What can I do to ensure that life will be able to flourish 100 years into the future?

April: On NatureApril 29Today's reflection was inspired by a quote from my novel Dead World: A Post-Apocalyptic Tale.According to National Geographic, about 571 species of plants have gone extinct in the wild since the 1750s. And since 1900, an average of eight plant species have gone extinct every three years.I don’t know what the world will look like 10 years from now, let alone hundreds or thousands—what life, what plants will be left, but I can try now, while I’m here, to protect that which exists and add to it where I can. And who knows, maybe that future I dreamt up doesn’t have to be harsh and gray and lifeless or post-apocalyptic—maybe it doesn’t have to be at all—maybe if we do something now, it’ll be greener and brighter. Reflection title: Greener and BrighterCreative inspiration: Eastin DeVerna, Dead World: A Post-Apocalyptic TaleReflection Question: What can I do in this present moment to ensure a brighter future? What can I do as an individual, and what can I do as part of a community? 

April: On NatureApril 28Today's reflection was inspired by the poem "The Peace of Wild Things" by Wendell Berry.We fear a future that does not exist, one that we created and then let control our lives in the present. This is a very human thing to do—anxiety has helped us survive for millions of years out in the plains or in the forests and mountains. And it’s easy to say, “Do not let it control you,” when you are not suffering from it. But when your mind has been apprehended by it? That is another matter. So best to prepare, and best to repair—find your places in nature, those ones that heal you and free you. Breathe the air, watch the swaying of the trees, the still water of a pond, the blue skies and bright stars. Do this every chance you get. When on vacation or out on a hike or stopping for a moment in the grocery store parking lot to look up at the clouds and imagine where they’ve been and where they have yet to go, watch the birds below them on their way south or north without forethought of grief—then breathe, and repeat. Reflection title: Imagined FuturesCreative inspiration: Wendell Berry, "The Peace of Wild Things"Reflection Question: What future have I created in my mind that I am dreading? Can I strip it down and see the objective truth by living in the present?