Notes from the Upper West Side. A novel by Dan Wrench. Chapter 31. Two Babes in Hot Pants.
A lot later in the day I got to hear Viders say this. He was sitting at a piano on the stage in the club right after the shoot was over for the day. Everybody who hadn't left already was either just sitting out at the table staring at the people on the stage or on the stage staring at the people sitting at the tables. I guess there were about 15 of us.
The kids shut the kitchen down for the day so the only coffee you could get was the tepid crap from the almost empty Dunkin' Donuts boxes on some of the tables. Belinda's hipster boyfriend had swung by to pick her up about three hours before so she was long gone. Lenny Payne was still there. Whisper's and Parp and Vider and Bang were there.
So were these young chicks with really tight asses who played the dancing strippers in the Soho Strip riff. The part of the video where they all come sliding down poles that magically appear on the sidewalk while Lenny is singing about how great it is to have his yarmical back. These chicks were all black or Cuban or dark Puerto Rican maybe, maybe Dominican. The Soho Strip riff was what they were shooting that day at the club.
They shot this big splashy song and dance bit in front of a green screen and Vider got the dancers cheap. Parp was leaning against Vider's piano and whispers were sitting on the floor at the stage next to him. Bang was sitting on the edge of the stage with his legs dangling off like he was a kid on the edge of a pier. After Vider's mini rant about chicks skipping from the friend phase to the nag phase without having the decency to fuck him, Lenny said, yup if you don't fuck don't mag.
So who nags? Said the dancing stripper sitting right next to me. I just fuck. Bang said, alright.
Everybody just sort of shut up and looked at Bang for a sec. He shrugged. I gigcacalted at his discomfort. The chick next to me who said I just fuck, she heard the gigacal and smiled at me and I'm thinking see some babes in love the way I laugh.
I was thinking I might have an opportunity here even though dancers kind of scare me. It's a well known backstage universal that dancers will make you eat their console and reply to your neck with their dancer thighs every time they pop. You funny. She said to me almost in a whisper.
You like my boyfriend. So do you really just fuck? I asked. Look at you.
She giggled. You married and old enough to be my daddy and you still bad. Nobody else was listening to us. Vider sat at the piano and whenever anyone cracked wise we'd play a chord or a snatch of a melody.
Somebody ordered pizza about an hour before so there were a bunch of open pizza boxes. Are you hitting on Mallory? Park called over to me when he saw me chatting with the I just fuck babe. Trying my best.
I don't know why you bother. Your wife is tasty. Vider perked up. Oh yeah?
Parkby says your wife is tasty is she? It tastes like a wife I said. A lot of ooze from the dancing strippers. You're sick.
I'm not saying she isn't tasty. But you know we've been together ten years. One of the dancing strippers jumped up and headed to the bathroom. Nint suck.
She slammed the door. Well hey I whined in a way I hoped it'd be taken for pitiful. I'm willing. The wife is not impressed or a producer.
Whisper's asked. Everybody could fawn. Not exactly. I said I'm impressed.
Whoa. Out of the blue it was yet another babe in hot pants. She was standing against the wall by the stage. She giggled.
Everyone else laughed. You made Paul's night. The Vider said. Not yet.
I said. More laughs. I wished Cammy was there but this new babe was looking right at me. You real sick.
Mallory said. Notes from the upper west side is a work of fiction. The people depicted in this work do not exist. Notes from the upper west side copyright 2013 to 2016 by Dan Wright.