EPISODE · Sep 24, 2025 · 1H 23M
NVC in Real Life with Hans van Veen
from The Stoic Handbook with Jon Brooks · host Jon Brooks
If "just be nicer" has never once fixed your hardest conversations, this one is for you. I sat down with coach Hans van Veen to put Nonviolent Communication to work in the messy real world: the moment your jaw tightens mid-argument, the urge to take everything personally, the conversations that keep going in circles.Hans walks through the OFNR model (observations, feelings, needs, requests) and why it actually clears the fog, the difference between hearing judgments and hearing needs, how to dissolve the enemy image you build of the other person, and when to set a firm boundary rather than keep negotiating. We also bridge NVC with BIFF (brief, informative, friendly, firm) for the high-conflict exchanges where the gentle version is not enough.I came in skeptical that any framework survives a real fight. Some of it held up better than I expected.Learn more about Hans van Veen: nondualcommunication.netHans on Instagram: @nondualcommunicationFree 7-Day Stoic Challenge: stoicchallenge.coThe Stoic Vault: stoicvault.com
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If "just be nicer" has never once fixed your hardest conversations, this one is for you. I sat down with coach Hans van Veen to put Nonviolent Communication to work in the messy real world: the moment your jaw tightens mid-argument, the urge to take everything personally, the conversations that keep going in circles. Hans walks through the OFNR model (observations, feelings, needs, requests) and why it actually clears the fog, the difference between hearing judgments and hearing needs, how to...
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NVC in Real Life with Hans van Veen
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