Of the Brave

I was playing my guitar the other day and randomly started playing the Star Spangled Banner, albeit poorly.  There was absolutely no Jimi Hendrix Woodstock version being channeled.  As an aside, playing other people's songs can be moving.  There's something about how it feels when a song comes out of me that makes it more personal and tangible.  I often feel enriched.  I first noticed this while playing Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen.  It was a song I didn't particularly like until I played it for someone who did.  And then for a moment, his words were my words. As I played the Star Spangled Banner I thought about how the song did rouse a patriotic spirit in me these days, in a way that I didn't feel very often before.  I suppose I didn't see the need before; there was nothing apparent to defend against.  That sense of security was false, but that’s a story for another day.I never saw myself as patriotic: perhaps largely because of limiting social messages about what patriotism was.  Patriotism was apparently expressed in a few obvious ways. One was being a soldier, another, being conservative.  Or it was about symbolic gestures like saluting the flag or standing for the pledge.  I was never drawn to these specific choices so I assumed that meant I wasn’t patriotic. I was wrong.And while I honor those choices, sometimes refusing to serve in an unjust war is patriotic.  Sometimes kneeling in protest of institutional racism is the patriotic choice.  Sometimes being liberal is patriotic.  Sometimes being patriotic means risking being ostracized and misunderstood.When I was a Senior in High School I refused to stand for and recite the Pledge of Allegiance in Homeroom and was sent to the Principal's Office.  The homeroom teacher was a veteran and was offended by my protest.  He said that he fought for this country and that I must stand.  I said that he fought in that war so I didn't have to prove my fealty.Because I was free.  And I was no hero, but I was brave enough to make him mad.  Because having to stand and pledge allegiance to a nation was what people do who are not free.As I look back now, I see it.  There will always be people, well-meaning and otherwise, who are trying to take away our freedom.  Their pride may be dominating and blinding them.  It may be their fear or chauvinism.  Whatever it is, they think they're right.  They're the good guys.Mr Caputo probably thought I was just a punk kid.  And I was.  But I was honoring that little voice inside that said this isn't right.  This isn't what we're about in America.  And I was right.  In a time where I was lost, depressed, losing interest in school and directionless, I still had my moments of clarity and bravery.  And sadly, I didn't see these as a way into myself, my mission, my voice and my path.  30 years later I'm just recognizing this and hoping they make a pill to let me live and be healthy to 150.As I finished playing the Star Spangled Banner in my rudimentary way, I thought of the last line:Oh say does that star spangled banner yet waveO'er the land of the free and the home of the braveI almost put a question mark on the end of that sentence...because it is a question.  Does it yet wave? Are we still free?  The flag, in this example, is the symbol of our freedom: the barometer, the indicator. Just like in wartime.  And I thought to myself, if this is the land of the free and the home of the brave, what does it mean to be free?  And what does one do if one is brave?Attacking our Capitol to try and overturn a free and fair election isn't brave.  Supporting a candidate that calls his detractors vermin and uses other words directly from long-dead genocidal dictators is not brave.  He would not bring about freedom.  He would mislead his foolhardy followers into doing his bidding like strongmen always do.  Like the Confederates did.They always bring destruction and misery.  The 20th Century is a recent testament to the endless blood-lust of the soulless demagogue.  The usurper.  The authoritarian.  The false messiah.This is the land of the free and the home of the brave,  if you can keep it, to paraphrase Benjamin Franklin.For this guy, I'm gonna vote for those who didn't try to overturn the election and kill the Vice President.  Call me crazy. I think that’s by far the most patriotic choice. And while you’re free to disagree with me, if you agree, please consider being brave enough to challenge those who would vote the other way. Be willing to make people uncomfortable, including yourself. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit greenmang.substack.com/subscribe