Offended By Order: The Reason Most People Fail (EP 227)

Yo, what's up people? I'm your host Jay Will and I would like to welcome you to inspire guys people where we balance faith and business To guide you to your purpose. This is episode two twenty seven offended by order the reason why most people fail All right, so today I got a couple things on my mind I want to kick it which all about and the goal is really to help you go from point a to point B C D wherever you going, you know what I'm saying? But the reason I threw out those other letters and ears because a lot of times we say we want to go you know from point A to Point B I don't like that ain't really that far But if you want to go from A to Z, you know saying there's a lot in between and a lot of times We really want to just skip from a to Z without hitting those other letters Um and going through a process So if you've been rocking with this show for however many years we've been doing this Uh, then you know that on the first hundred or so episodes I always talked about the process because I really do believe man like there is a way to be successful There is a way to do things but I think what happens is Sometimes we mess ourselves up because we really just don't want to follow rules Let's just be real like sometimes out here.

You just like bruh I really just kind of want to get the result I ain't really trying to do everything that that it takes to produce it. You feel what i'm saying? So today we're gonna take a step back. I'm gonna give you some thoughts some ideas maybe some inspiration Just around how you get to the success that you want.

You know what i'm saying? So let's let's do it Uh first thing is first look, um, there's a lot of people out there that wants to be somewhere Someone something different than whatever their current state is today You feel what i'm saying? It's like some of us sit back and we got these secret dreams and goals and maybe a lot of times We're afraid to act on it because we don't either we don't really know what to do Or we don't want to do what needs to be done And I think both are a problem, right? So if you don't know what to do I think then you need to spend some time and learning and educating yourself And maybe getting some help from others just to know like how do I do this thing?

But then there's this fascinating thing where sometimes people actually know what to do And they still don't do it. You know what i'm saying? But at the end of the day in both scenarios It's like hey you sitting here in your life and you know good and well you want something different Have you ever been there? I've been there before where it's like You just kind of know like this ain't working like whatever situation you're currently in No matter what it's related to right?

It's like this is not working for who I want to be for what I want to do for my goals my dreams and my visions And I think it's interesting in life that some people get to that state and they stay there Right and then you know whether depression comes or you know doubt You know you start you know stop taking care of yourself like all these things like and again Like a lot of us been there in in life at some point been at a place that felt like a dead end That's like I want something different, but I can't seem to move beyond this point Right and today I want to kind of push you a little bit and give you a head start Um and give you some momentum if you kind of find yourself in that place and even if you're not in that place Even if you just like man, I don't know what it is. I'm kind of sluggish I'm just mentally like I know I want to be something I know I want more But it's like I'm not motivated to do it right and today I'm going to talk to you about some things um to kind of point out why I think most people feel And if you look at why most people feel the point of doing that is so that you could prevent that and hopefully get to your own success So jumping into today's content first thing I want to talk about is admirer and others So as it relates to like you're stuck in a place where you just have dreams or goals Um, look we don't you know social media y'all watching me We kicking it one of the most challenging things in the world today is just like how do I manage admirer and others? And I do think there's a good aspect to admire others And I think there's a bad aspect to it you feel me? And so When the good side of it my other people and like exposing yourself to other people is that it's exposure So let's just say if I grew up in a scenario when I've never traveled before right and then I'm like following some YouTube vlogs on their travel channels Now that could be a good thing because just me watching their channel can be exposing me to some things that I've never done before right?

And it could kind of um that exposure can lead to me like dreaming and desiring like oh, this could be dope Like in wanting to do something different than what I'm doing or something different than what I've ever seen You know what I'm saying? Because the reality is some of us we never seen nothing we never been nowhere And a lot of times if you in that spot in life It's gonna take some effort or some exposure for you to kind of open yourself up to new opportunities versus being stuck in your bubble A lot of people stuck in bubbles, bro Like you could be from a certain neighborhood never left that neighborhood It's like that's a bubble and it's like no not to your hood no not to your hometown But if you ain't never seen nothing different then you may have a limited view of life and not even realizing it right? So again for you just that exposure to others can be great. It can inspire you to do more But then it's like I at the same time um There's a negative side to admirer and others and maybe at my right admiration.

I can't talk people I can talk I promise I can maybe admiration starts to turn into idolizing right? So it's like it's cool for you to admire someone someone and like look at them and be inspired and be exposed and like, okay That's dope. I think what happens a lot of times for us today is our admiration at some point turns into idolizing Now that could just mean that all right. I'm gonna stay on this whole like Social media.

I'm exposed to people whatever I can start off watching you and just like yo All right, like I'm inspired by this person and then at some point it could become like yo I'm watching you so much that I'm not even doing it myself like so I'm watching you travel I'm watching you live your life and yeah, I like that. That's cool But really now I'm like so into you that I'm not even into myself, right? So sometimes we can look at other people's lives so much that we're not taking action in our own lives I think it's really important sometimes to turn our phones off turn the tv off like just mute the world in a sense Not literally the entire world but mute those outside Factors that could be influencing us in ways and if it's never you know quiet where you got real people around you that you know and love To kind of get feedback talk about things and then like work on your own life I just think some of us get stagnant looking at other people You know to remind me of being in traffic like social media to me is like being in traffic And you got those galkers and it's like this this freeway is like, you know backed up It's like all these cars all these people all like all this noise around me And then I get up to what everybody's looking at and it's just like some rent Some like not even an accident a lot of times just the police got somebody pulled over on the side of the road and I'm like This is what we was all looking at this is this is what was stopping me from getting to where I'm going And that's how it is sometimes when you were looking at other people's life so much and sometimes the bad Outside of admiration and watching other people is really just gawking like you could be going somewhere But instead of you going where you going you slowing down to gawk Right what they doing they got to do it you and that's really the point It's like you're looking at stuff sometimes it has nothing to do with you then there's like the fact that you can You really could just be coveting what they have now or less than after what they have and those are some tricky things And I know that might sound deep and some people like I'm not coveting. I'm not listening It's like all right cool sometimes it's subtle bruh Sometimes these things are subtle, you know with myself I have to catch myself on subtle stuff that I wasn't really thinking I was doing But then when I like really like step back it's like wait a minute bruh you ain't even like you ain't even making the moves You said you were gonna make but you really kind of like want what they got like that's yeah That's a sign of unplug that's a sign of stuff aside and say this is how people fail people fail by gawking by lusting by coveting Look the Bible tells us thou shall not covet you get what I'm saying Like we shouldn't be looking at other people's lives and wanting what they want because they're not you I'm not you like the goal of this podcast isn't to come on here and to be coveted and to you know Be like hey my life is better than yours.

You should want to be like me like it's not it's the kick It's to talk through some things and hopefully inspire you through some real conversation and dialogue From a Christian perspective, right? But I think at the end of the day outside of lusting and idolizing I think one that's really common is that we look at other people's lives and we compare Look the reality is you've heard this a thousand times I've heard it a thousand times comparison is a thief of joy But some some some reason we still do it like we still compare ourselves to other and you can really belittle yourself You get what I'm saying and sometimes in life You have to be able to focus on what God is saying to you And it's like a frequency, right? Like I think about Growing up listening to the radio and you might listen to a particular station You turn to that frequency you can only hear what they putting out Like if you turn to the the pop station you are not getting country You only in tune to the pop frequency And I think sometimes what happens is we don't have our radios tuned to God's frequency and his channels Meaning we are not getting content that is intended to draw us closer to God Sometimes we turn into every other station We know every other page we know every other meme or whatever And if I'm being real some of this stuff like you know Some of this entertainment is killing us spiritually like and I ain't here to judge you like you got to manage that for yourself But I'm telling you that because that is happening and there is a way for things to go There is a process to get you to success and sometimes you have to step back and say Why am I not getting to where I'm going? Well, what frequency what channel am I tuned into and if you be real with yourself?

You might realize like bro, I haven't been tuned in a guy's frequency I haven't been listening to what God say about my life I've been listening to what these rappers and entertainers say about life and then that's where your influence is coming from You know, not that all rappers are in entertainers are bad But the reality of it is in the world we live in today Like man, it just seemed like the substance is just lacking more and more each day That the artists and what they talking about the award shows and what they doing It ain't really stuff to draw us to God. It's just up to sound good itching ear information But it's not really like built for us to grow as believers, right? So That's another thing is be careful how you admire others, right? Be careful not to let your admiration turn into idolizing because you don't want to idolize nobody, right?

Put no idols before God, right? These are like simple things that are really like Ten commandment everyday things, but the reality is I'm human and you human and sometimes we lose track and we lose sight And sometimes we find ourselves doing things that we weren't even thinking we were doing because like yeah, we good people I get it. You're a good person. I'm a good person But if you listen to the last episode good, it's not God.

God is good, but good ain't necessarily God Now Here's another thing You know, as I think about like why do most people feel right and again We're talking about these things that you can apply to your life to prevent failure in your life from your goals and this stuff could apply to different Things your faith your family your finances, um your career. There's all type of things this can relate to these are like life principles, right? Um mentorship, man mentorship is missing these days and I'm not saying that you know, I don't like making these Generalized statements because then it's probably somebody like hey, I have a whole mentorship program And yeah, I've shot out to everybody out there that's doing these type of things I know the good things are happening out there, right? But we specifically talking to people that may not be connected to that people who are feeling stuck People who aren't able to get where they want to go and they don't know why Mentorship is missing now mentorship is an interesting thing because you need willing mentors and you need willing mentees And when you think about even what mentorship is it's really someone guiding you somewhere because they've already been there You feel me?

And so it's like a person that's already been somewhere and already experienced some ups and downsam Yo, I I had some challenges getting here Now I want to turn her back and I want to give other people this information so that they don't have to struggle in the way that I did Or that they can be guided and maybe have a more efficient path to success in godliness Um, but what happens is you you can have a willing mentor that's willing to give but you need a willing mentee that's willing to receive Now when I say receive Reception is really interesting because you can receive things in different ways Some people want to receive a simple handout Meaning they're looking for someone to give them the answers to the test and some people come into mentorship Thinking that that's what mentorship is this person is going to give me all the answers And I'm not going to have to do no work. That's not what mentorship is mentors are looking to poor principles Um and give resources and opportunities to people who are actually willing to work and who are willing to be dedicated and committed and disciplined Into going down a particular path in order to get to their success And so a lot of times people are saying they want mentorship, but they really just want to hand out Like they saying like yo, I want somebody to help me but help doesn't mean do it for you You feel like some people like we I'm breaking I'm trying to break this stuff down in a most simple way because I think sometimes we get in our own way because we're not actually thinking through the Detail like you'll be sitting there like yo, I want help and you like really just want someone to do it for you And the problem is this let's say on somebody that has you know already built a car from the ground up Like that's something I did like I didn't in reality, right? But let's say I'm a mechanic and I built this let's say I built the engine right that's something I've heard from mechanics through the years like yo I'm building an engine So if you're a mechanic and you built an engine and then you get this young person is like yo I like cars and they want to build an engine, but really they just want a car Right because they like cars. They don't necessarily like being like doing the work of a mechanic So then they go to a mechanic and say yo, you built an engine help me build mine What ends up happening is there's two ways to approach this if a person wants to receive help or mentorship They would be going and that might look like that mechanic saying okay.

You could come sit Every week you could come to my shop and watch me build a engine. That's not yours You can watch me build an engine and then I can give you tips on like what I'm doing as we go Now a good mentee will receive that and be like yeah, that's that's cool I'm willing to put in a work. I'm willing to come to your shop every week Dude, I'm willing to put in effort because I want to give as much effort as you're giving to me, right? But what a lot of us do is like oh man Like I was just hoping you could just like like let's build mine And then I could just sit and watch you build mine But the problem there is you're not actually learning anything because I'm doing the work for you and keeping my I've already done this before I don't need to do it again Especially not for free like maybe I built my own engine for free and still maybe pay for parts But like I don't I've already done it.

I don't need to build another engine And some of us use these as opportunities to play the victim role to try to like make people feel sorry for not doing thing for us When really this person is a more willing mentor than you are as a mentee. You feel me? And so I think um sometimes also, you know mentorship could be something that you're doing over over time So I mean if someone is meeting with you every week and they're they're setting aside time on a calendar You're setting aside time on yours and there's some mutual um, you know mutually beneficial because for a mentor or someone who is has wisdom to share They get as much out of sharing as they do as a person that's receiving information But when when a mentor or someone who has done something is putting a position where you want them to just do it for you or give you a handout Now they're being drained. So they're not being drained when they can give the information to someone who's willing to do work Right because they get fulfillment out of helping other people but they don't get fulfillment out of doing it for you And neither do you they get drained.

They didn't need to do it and then you don't learn anything So mentorship again, it could be long term, but then there could also be mentorship for moments And I know like I've had mentorship moments in my life Always think about um in the corporate world, you know, I'm saying like I've been working corporate For a major organization for 18 years. I just celebrate 18 years last week and I think about my journey like you know to you know all the jobs I've had I think I've had nine jobs in 18 years Some average every two years. I've been in a new role on average It hasn't actually happened that way But when I think about it the beginning of my career look I'm from Detroit coming from seven mile coming from the hood I went to college of course had my years in college to kind of grow a little bit But when I graduated and came into corporate it really was a new world for me And I it took me a few years to figure things out because I was so much of a fish out of water And so much of my mindset wasn't built on corporate or career success Now I did have ambition from day one from day one. I knew I wanted to grow Um, so that's sometimes where I said at the beginning of the show where everyone not maybe everyone but a lot of us Want to be somewhere something um or someone different than we are today And I definitely wanted to be something and someone different and somewhere different But I wasn't necessarily prepared from day one to understand what that looked like and I wasn't prepared to put my pride aside To learn from other people and a lot of times what happens is we think like this how we think where I'm from and Again, I grew up in no corporate corporate structure And so I kind of have my own thinking about like what success should look like but what it should look like and what it does Look like it's two different things, right?

And so I remember this might have been year. Let's say if this was year seven, right? About years it was about year seven in my career and I had maybe been promoted to Maybe just like two times. I think I was only promoted like twice in the first seven years, right?

Which would mean I've had like seven promotions in the in the last Um 11 years and so I had a slow start to my career and I'm not blaming nobody but myself Um, this gentleman pulled me aside and he was an executive already Um, and his his I'll call him mr. Green, right and mr. Green Um saw me walking in the office and he pulled me aside because what I used to do is I would just go in and out Like I was I worked hard. I did I produced numbers I was a salesperson doing really well and one of the number one salespeople Um in the Michigan market in the area of the company I worked in but I wasn't like I wasn't networking I wasn't um, you know seeking sponsorship or mentors.

I was just coming to work working hard and thought like yeah That's she equated me getting a promotion, right? I remember he pulled me aside in his office and I never forget this um I've seen him in the last couple years at a charity event. I got to thank him for that too So I'm happy about that but he pulled me aside. He was like look man Like I see you coming in and out of here like I'm sure you work hard and he told me he was like, you know hard work That's that that's not what gets you promoted.

I was like, huh? He's like, yeah, you probably think your business like just doing good is what gets you promoted And I remember being taken back like yeah, like that that's what makes sense And he was like, no, he's like, you know, you need mentors, right? These guys to guide you and he didn't maybe I'm sure he realized I didn't realize that in that moment He was serving as a mentor for the moment, right? Because we only had this one conversation He wasn't someone that I constantly met with this was just someone Um, older gentlemen that saw me and maybe saw potential in me I don't know what he saw but he pulled me aside and he said on unique mentors Those are the people that guide you then you need sponsors Those are the people that's willing to speak up on your behalf Um, and he was like, you know, the the work you're doing is maybe like 10% of it It matters.

You got to you got to do the work to be into consideration for the other things But he was breaking down the percentages like bro like sponsorship might be 40% And I was taken back because that was the first time I ever heard that in my life And if I'm being really it didn't make sense to me But you know what? It didn't matter if it makes sense to me because he was telling me how things go And I think for a lot of us what we have to understand is things go a certain way in life There's order, right? There's a way to buy and sell a house. There's guidelines around it That's the order there are tax rules around it And if you know the rules you can buy a house at the right time And get it for a good deal you could sell a house at the right time and make some money But you got to know how to do it You got to know when is it time when is it a buyer's market when is it a seller's market Some of us we're so offended by order We are offended by the way things go because they don't go in a way that we think they should go Even though we don't have any experience or expertise in a particular area We've never dabbled in that area.

We're not um, you know familiar with the laws or whatever We just have this opinion from our vantage point in our bubble Like this is what I meant earlier when I said you can grow up in a bubble and like Not even have experience about other things in life not even have exposure, right? So Mr. Green gave me some information that I wasn't being able to leverage and it's a ton It took me a lot of time to learn step by step to dig. I didn't get mentors the next day But what happened is he gave me something to think about gave me some resources and some information to study it more And as I did that I realized that he was right And I started leveraging those tools and those resources and that information And it helped me through the years get promotions and then one day become an executive You know and so like my path to becoming you know an executive was Um, not maybe the fast path or some other people it didn't look like a lot of other people's but it was my journey And it's how I got to where I am and how I'm continuing to grow right because I haven't made it or arrived But it's cool sometimes I look at your journey and realize the people that help you get where you are And also like for me just being thankful that someone was willing to see me and call me out Call me to his office and give me some information that I didn't have right?

So I'm talking about the way things go. I got two more things to talk about um Look finances is one I like kicking it about because For me, I often ask myself like again, you know, y'all know I'm from Detroit I grew up in poverty and like really what that just means to me is like I grew up uneducated about money Right, that's a simple way to look at it. So when I'm uneducated about money that means all the decisions that me and my family were making Really weren't based on um financial literacy and understanding When to buy when to sell what how to invest like, you know what not to buy assets liabilities There's all these things that we just didn't understand right? So for me I went on a financial journey of my own.

Let's just start with the basics of getting good credit Let's just say getting a 700 credit score and saving a thousand dollars Like those are two like very doable baseline goals for the average in american, right? I didn't have that you know 12 years ago. I had it. I really didn't and so I have a 700 credit score or $1,000 and so You know when you when you think about those goals I didn't know how to get that and then I learned how to get it and when I learned how to get it I started trying to tell other people my friends and my family like hey, this is how you get good credit This is how you buy a house.

This is how you like this is how you buy a car at a good price and things like that And I remember being so confused And why is it that I'm giving people the play like I'm telling them straight up exactly how you get something or how you do something and Once they get the information they're not following through and I realized it's because they were offended by the order Now what I mean by that is Sometimes people are energetic when they reach out to me and they're like, hey, I want to learn about money or I want to learn this and Um, you know, and this is like not a not to those people it's been a lot of people So like a lot of friends family, whoever they know I love talking about finances and How to get out of poverty and how to grow and so Like in talking to people I just always be confused like man Like I just gave you the answers to like the craziest test But it does require you to do work and I I thought about it like yo They're offended they might not even know they're offended by the order But they're offended by the answers they received because they probably was expecting something much easier Much faster and that required less discipline and what happens is if you say hey, I want to say $10,000 And then someone comes along to say I'll tell you exactly how to say $10,000 But then it requires more work or more discipline than you were expecting that can be offensive Man, you and what I mean by offensive is you can walk away and be like, oh, yeah, don't take all that And just you saying like it don't take all that. Let's me know you're offended by order Now order just represents this is the way you get it This is the sequence or the steps that you do to get this thing or this is the natural way to achieve this go, right? And it's a process and a lot of people let's stick on the money if it comes to saving $1,000 or let's say Let's be ambitious and say $10,000 First of all, some people might think well, that's like I can't do that. That's too much money I don't make enough right well again You're offended by the order because You could tell people they can do something that they don't think they can do and it can offend them And that's crazy to me But it's like I do this all the time like all right Tell me how much money you make tell me what your bills are like, okay We go through this whole process I've done this with a lot of people and once I started telling them you make more money than you think you do Oh, most people like no, you don't get it like you don't understand bro like no This and that and it's like no, I'm fam You got the money see a lot of people when they come to finances They think they're broke because they don't have money Most of the times you broke because you don't have discipline.

Whoo. Hold on. Let me take a let me let me just sit my teeth And Oh, man, because I know that just offended somebody we talking about being offended by order You're offended by the way to do something a lot of people make more money than they think they make But what happens is when we do a little assessment right a little analysis of your financial situation What what is uncovered is your bad habits and a lot of times people don't want to give up bad habits So let's say, you know, you you're making your money and every week or every two weeks whenever you get paid You spend a hundred dollars on shoes clothes or something. That's not a need So you got your food your rent is paid you got gas A lot of times when you're in poverty or you live in broke because those are two different things Some people aren't actually in poverty.

They're just broke meaning they're just misusing the money they make and they're not actually beneath the poverty Threshold, but what happens is you think that you deserve rewarding yourself now again I grew up, you know, what's all you're doing? I'm sorry. I saw it. I thought that was my cousin's way, but this is time.

Yeah, what up sister Um, what happens is like I grew up in poverty and like when you broke you start rewarding yourself with liabilities Now, what do I mean by that liabilities are just simply things that don't grow your money, but they cost you money So a pair of Jordans is a liability, right? Unless you want to resell business and you that's completely different It could be an asset. I get it But for most of us is just a liability so I talk to people and I'm like, okay Well, look you spending a hundred two hundred dollars on shoes or clothes or watches or something you don't need And you thinking well, that's my reward to myself for the work I've done. I'm like, okay, cool That's not the best reward program for long term, but I get it.

You think you deserve a watch Cool The problem with that mentality is what if I showed you a way to take that same money save it or invest it If it's if you save it and just flat rate, um over 10 months you'll have you know, $2400, right? If you're doing um $100 every two weeks, right? Like now again $100 every two weeks don't sound like a lot Maybe $2400 doesn't sound like a lot well until your water heater goes out and it's a thousand dollars And now all of a sudden you have it because you what resisted the shoes and the things that you thought were the reward But to me the reward is relieving yourself of the stress that would have came if your water heater would have went out Which is a need and you don't have the money So then you have to start calling around to people to get money for something that you actually had money for but you prioritize Eliability and a want over your own long term needs and that's not even biblical But again, these are things that once you start giving people this information It's actually offensive to them. You feel me?

Tell you like it's it's offensive to tell you the truth of how to make money How to manage money and how to grow money because what you wanted to hear was hey, it's this easy I just brought some miracle water from the profit online at 3am sprinkled it on my debit card And I woke up and it was a hundred dollars in the bank. That's not how it works No Maybe you're an exception and you are LeBron James or you know Kyrie Irving or you are some Multi platinum singer and yes, some people they don't have to do all that They just got a gift or a talent that makes them millions of dollars and they're rich Like that's a lot of people out there and I'm not here to knock that but for most of us the everyday person I don't have a million dollar talent. I don't have like I'm not doing something that's getting me one check for 10 million dollars or a hundred million Dollars, so I might have to learn another way you feel me and so for a lot of us You got to be real about who you are and you got to be real about, you know, your own skill setting capabilities Listen the miracle water is real. I was up in the middle of the night watching tv one day recently And I don't even stay up late or watch tv a lot but I was up and I don't want to say the profit name Um, you know what I'm saying the profit pro Um, but the man of God was selling his water and what was interesting to me was all of the I don't know They pay actors or not but all of the people giving the testimony about how the miracle water did it for them And you know I bought this I actually the water free too.

I almost ordered it, bro I'm don't order the water. Don't even do it. I don't know what's in that water. I don't know if that spring water Sparkling the water.

I don't know what they doing with that water on the midnight Informational but the water free I'm watching people get a testimony was like yeah, I got the water and then I checked my mail It was a whole check in here and I'm like, okay, that's cool You got a $500 check. Okay, uh, sprinkle the water and I'm like, you know what, bro The fact that this is what we actually want is just a bad look on us Because what we really should want is to learn a skill that we could pass on to other people That's when I talked about mentorship earlier mentors are people who have some experience because they've gone through a process And then they could share it back with you. That's why I always say I don't respect people that don't can't tell me how they make their money You ever meet somebody just walk around with and they they spend and you assume and they got money They acting like they got money, but they can't tell me how to do nothing If you can't share something with me some tangible steps and things that I can do to then go and grow mine Then really, um, this is a waste of time. You just know me and I ain't trying to hear it.

You feel me Listen, it's not the living water, bro. You you right. It ain't that water is not alive You are right about that. It's the dead water the steel water.

What's sure? Um, don't don't don't y'all don't order the miracle water on my own. I don't know how they even shipping water through the mail It's deep. I don't know because the water in on the commercial look like it's just in a little That bug in a little bag that it's just what I can't think of the little plastic wrap the not plastic wrap The zip lock bags.

They just shipping water in a bag. That's not good water Um, but I will water my plants with it to see how much they grow. Um, my point with all of this this part is just that Whenever you give people a process and a way to do something that could be offended by it. Um, I see, um, Tamaji on what's up, bro, you know, he's a filmmaker.

I think that's the right way to um, to hopefully I'm giving you the right title But he's a filmmaker. I've seen that he teaches classes and does different things Now imagine that I go to his class because I'm like, all right, I want to learn how to do film, right? And then I go there with someone who's experienced he puts out dope content And then I go there and I'm offended because I'm like, man, it shouldn't take all this Oh, like I want to cut corners and that's what a lot of us do We want to cut corners and then we start disrespecting the people that actually been there before that want to give us the way to do it to be successful There is a right way to do things you can have success But you have to be humble enough to listen to the mentorship and guidance of others To receive what they're saying and to apply it to your life to put in the work to be disciplined and not be offended by the order You get what I'm saying, but we need to actually receive order with joy We need to be happy that people are willing to teach us how to do things and then put up the work You feel what I'm saying? All right.

I got the title right. I got it right You feel me? Tally y'all know why they shipping in that bag. So so look people just though y'all A lot of us we want the tree Uh, we want the fruit But when somebody tells us oh, you have to first start off with the sea find some good ground to plant in here Water it tend to it and then wait for the harvest some of us walk away offended and thinking they don't take all that But then at the same time we looking at people with their trees and their fruit and we want what's theirs And we go back to those people and just expect them like hey, you got extra food on your tree Just give it to me in the bible if that's alone.

He doesn't say if a man don't work you don't eat now There's a broader story to that that I want to go down that line But essentially it's like hey if we were a group of people We can help each other grow but all of us have to be willing to carry our load If there's a table with four ends to it and it's four of us sitting here But you want me to carry up my end and drag the table the table's gonna be harder for me to carry on my own Then if everybody just grabs a corner, right? So when you think about wealth or growing For me, it's like, you know, I tell people all the time like yo I'm trying to build and I'm trying to grow but like I ain't never gonna get where I'm trying to go If your expectation of me is to give you what's mine and you don't have to do anything like bro I'm not LeBron. I didn't make it to the league and I don't have $200 million and even if I did I would not give it to you in that way because it's actually not helpful for you It's harmful and I'm telling you all right now If you want to offend somebody when it comes to money tell them that they have to do something too That's very offensive and I understand that it's offensive and why people are offended by order But it's also why we fail now. Let me now go to the word of God Um, we're gonna end this looking at the bible.

I am gonna go to Genesis chapter three you feel any you feel you feel me Genesis chapter three that ain't the view I want that's the view I want all right, so when I when I look at this Peep this y'all Genesis chapter three, this is where you know, this is a story of Adam and Eve, right? I love that it says this right at the top. I'm reading a new living translation It says the man and woman seeing now. I'm telling you in the world we live in today.

There's so much to unpack from this story I ain't even gonna be able to unpack this in a way that's gonna do it justice But I do want to look at from the top in the world today. There's so much man versus woman, right? And then like When I think about this man versus woman thing is deep because the way society approaches marriage or relationships and talking about them It's really in a way that's counterproductive to the traditional family growing God's way Most of the things that are put out into the world today are actually to influence and encourage that God's way in view of marriage and family Is not the right way again people are offended by order So people are offended if you say as an example the man and the woman seeing So this isn't about man versus woman as a lot of the conversations when you talk about marriage and relationships are in the world today This is about man and woman and I want to take a deeper dive into understanding and thinking through some of the different dynamics of Adam and Eve And then asking myself what kind of Adam am I? What kind of Adam are you?

What kind of Eve are you? What kind of man are you what kind of woman of you are you meaning like What would you do in this scenario? How can we look at what Adam and Eve did in A receive some mentorship through the word of God Um and not be offended by God's order because one of the things that I realize in the world today when you talk about man and woman People are offended by the actual roles that God created us to walk in I'm going to take a sip of my tea to let you think through that and maybe get mad at me Amen right now. I don't know if we're gonna make it through this show The two people that's watching is about to cut you off bro This this is gonna make people mad like it's it's upsetting though, german like you can't say stuff like this And think that people aren't gonna get mad You know they're angry sip your tea you get through this without making people angry because you know they're offended by order People are literally offended by the way God wants things to go God said water the seed people want to milk the seed They want to change the rules because it's offensive to tell someone that this is how you do it and this actually works Oh my god, what's wrong with you?

All right. I'm sorry. I'm back guys. I'm I'm here.

I'm back I do want to talk to y'all. What up, right? Appreciate you watching bro. The man in one is seeing so right off the top genesis chapter three This subtitle in a new living translation is offensive because no one wants to hear that both seen it No, what we want to do is we want to blame someone a lot of times We want to point the finger and look at what someone else did wrong and it doesn't mean that someone else didn't do wrong But sometimes it means that we both did wrong and if you want to think about your marriage and even if you sing one think about like Wanting to be married or the path the guy has you one.

It's like You don't want to be out here buying this all this man versus woman material. That's on the internet, bro I know it's spicier than my stuff is gonna go more viral get more views get more likes more shares and more comments I ain't worried about that what I'm worried about is can we put something out in the world that lines up with God's point of view cool? Alright, so let's start reading the serpent was the shrewdest of all the wild animals the lower guy had made one day he asked the woman Hmm the guy really said you must not eat the fruit from any of the trees in the garden Okay, I'm gonna read through this and then I'm gonna come back to some stuff Of course we may eat fruit from the trees in the garden the woman reply It's only the fruit from the tree in the middle of the garden that we are not allowed to eat God said you must not eat it or even touch it if you do you will die Verse four you won't die the serpent replied to the woman God knows that your eyes will be open as soon as you eat it and you will be like God knowing both good and evil The woman was convinced whoo that's heavy. She saw that the tree was beautiful and in its fruit looked and its fruit looked delicious And she wanted the wisdom it would give her so she took some of the fruit and ate it Then she gave some to her husband who was with her and he ate it too At that moment their eyes were open and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness So they sold fig leaves together to cover themselves Alright, we're gonna skip down a little bit.

God comes in. Uh, all right. They find out they naked they naked out here God like who told you and this was uh verse. I'm sorry verse 12 is Um, let's go to 11 who told you that you were naked the guy the lower guy asked Have you eaten from the tree whose fruit I commanded you not to eat The man replied it was the woman you gave me who gave me the fruit and I ate it At him bro Just like a man.

Just blame the woman Then the lower guy asked the woman what have you done? She said the serpent deceived me. She replied. That's why I ate it Then the lower guy said to the serpent.

All right start cursing the serpent all this I would cause hostility between you and the woman. All right cool. Dada dah dah dah dah Then he said to the woman verse 16 I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy and in pain you will give birth and you will desire to control your husband But he will rule over you. Oh my gosh.

That's offensive Want to offend somebody tell him that genesis 3 and 16 You will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you. Oh, that's offensive. God now Let's think about this you looking at genesis chapter 3, right? We just scroll through it And what's interesting to me is There's all these little nuances and dynamics happening where The man made a mistake and a woman made a mistake, right?

I'm gonna stop sharing and we just gonna kick it through and I want you to go back to that yourself if you want to go deeper But let's actually unpack a couple things First and foremost, I find it interesting that Adam was letting the serpent talk to his wife. Okay, you know what? I gotta go back to sharing my screen I gotta share it because It's a couple things we gotta look at in here. That's kind of like it's real foul It's really foul when you really look at it, bro All right So I said one day this is a verse three chapter one still one day he asked the woman to God really say you must not eat fruit From any of the trees in the garden.

So the first problem I have is this cook is that the serpent went right to the woman Ooh, he went right to the woman, right with the bible outlines as the weaker vessel Maybe that's why I don't know but he went to the woman I find it interesting if at the very least I find it interesting that you got this this evil figure right that walks in and here's The crazy part that even when God asked Eve why she did it. Let me go down. Let's go down Verse 13 then the lower guy asked the woman. What have you done?

Oh, no, I'm sorry. This is when Adam The mayor replied it was the woman you you gave me who gave me the fruit and I ate it Now what's interesting from my perspective of Adam was like Bro You were with her. How do I know you were with her? Let's go up Verse six the woman was convinced so you allow this serpent to kick it with your girl Into convince her so to me Adam you already out of pocket What kind of Adam are you you already out of pocket Adam because you letting this evil figure kick it and Whisper some stuff in your girl's ear that is now convincing her and I know you were here because it said this So she took some of the fruit and ate it then she gave some to her husband who was with her who was with her and he ate it too I find that to be a huge problem, Adam that you set there Did not protect your home did not step up as a leader and did not interfere or interrupt when your wife was in this scenario And she's being influenced by this bad information in this bad figure now Keep in mind the man and the woman saying I'm not here to point fingers I'm here to point out issues within the conversation that I think we can grow from whether we married or not Whether we single and praying to be married whatever your situation is I think it's important to understand guys intention in this scenario And then we're both the man and the woman went wrong so that when I'm in my everyday life because we all make these mistakes I'm just as guilty as anyone else When you're in your everyday life, we could correct some of these mistakes we make it right and we can stop being offended by order And start looking at the fact that like yo, God has a purpose and a plan for my marriage He has a way for it to be successful But if I get caught up in my feelings and hurt feelings then we gonna be out of pocket We gonna be operating outside of our roles and if I'm out operating outside of my role The problem is that I'm allowing a serpent in the house.

All right, cool So it's interesting to me and I just got to explore this. I'm need to call out that this part right here Is just me exploring this isn't in the bible what I'm about to say This is me like trying to explore and like think through like why would Adam not say anything Now this is me now just thinking of modern scenarios But Adam might not say something because I don't know maybe his girl is controlling Right, but it is say down there. You would desire to control him, right? Maybe Adam was thinking well, I know she's having this conversation I don't want to come off too aggressive and I don't want to you know Hey black girls rock.

I don't want to be the one that's like like I'm just thinking through all these modern things and the reasons why A husband would be silent in that scenario and I can just imagine a scenario where he's thinking me trying to stop this conversation Is going to have us arguing later. And so he silenced himself The reason I'm calling this out is because I do believe that there are times like if god called you god called you adam to protect your wife And in that scenario maybe because you were afraid of her rejection or afraid that she wanted to have this conversation or whatever And I'm not saying about any means this where this stuff gets tricky I'm not saying he should have controlled her or something like that Just hear me out what I'm saying though is god gave him a role as a man as a leader of his household or his garden old God made him a leader but in that scenario he didn't lead and protect And That's a huge problem I don't care adam If she doesn't want you to play the role that god told you to play Don't be offended by the order god told you protect and You got to ask yourself Is it more harm and being silent to shield your family from evil right? Right because that's what happened. They ate the apple He followed her lead actually so first he was silent Allow the serpent to talk to his wife allowed his wife to be convinced He didn't it doesn't seem like he challenged anything he didn't push back Then sat there and watched while she ate it then she gave it to him and he ate it I'm not saying adam is a weak man.

I'm saying in that scenario He operated us and showed some weak tendencies right because He was supposed to stop that He wasn't supposed to like all right. Maybe you like the conversation go then she convinced like but you don't let him give her the apple Bro, you stopped at you step in like oh, well, no bro. Hey, hey, nobody give him i girl no apples, bro We're not doing that You stopped at apple like you don't even let that happen But so many men are afraid to be men now because the culture right and i'm relating it to today The culture the environment is offended by the order in the road that a man is supposed to play so men are taking a step back Me and I want to be leaders no more because you know women can do anything they can do I get it I'm just saying you can't I'm just saying there's a way that god created it and I am not offended by being a man I don't think it's offensive for a woman to be the woman that god called her to be See I don't think we have to be offended by order because I don't think god's order is bad But I think we have been convinced by the serpent to think otherwise And as an atom I'm like, nah Not only am I not eating that fruit I'm not going to sit here and let you just convince everybody in my circle that that's the right thing to do bro And I understand that is hey I adam might have been silent because he want no backlash adam might have been silent because he wanted his video to get a lot of likes Is like I feel it adam I'm a sacrifice the likes in the verality of a video to speak truth And to try to help somebody and to also stand on the side that says it's not offensive to be a man that god called you to be We need to be abusive. We're not talking about aggression.

We ain't we talking about there's a healthy way to be a man There's a healthy way to be a woman, but you a protector, bro You don't let nobody do that with you. Don't let somebody walk in your house today I'm just gonna be real with you If somebody come in my house and we're not gonna my door and try to sell us some special soap My wife no, I'm stepping in like hold on bro. What you talking about? And we don't know we do pine saw bro.

We not doing that It's okay So I first wanted to just point out there are some things that adam did but I'm gonna tell you to Maybe the coldest and the worst thing adam did in this whole scenario to me and Um, he literally said What did he say? Um, let's see verse 12 the man replied It was the woman you gave me who gave me the fruit and I ate it boy. Oh boy. See adam You can't be quiet Not play your role as a man stuff get messed up and then blame he blamed really god in eve He said the woman you gave me like he wanted god to know like yo you gave me this girl She came in here and gave me some fruit and I ate it But god is like now god didn't say this here well you How can I say when you think through Like but god called you to be a leader He didn't he didn't in that scenario.

You were never supposed to follow and I don't even think that's her fault because You said they're quiet now. Maybe it's her fault if you speak up and she want to argue with you Let the man speak and that I know how stuff go it happens. We're all guilty to some capacity It's okay. Let's talk about it.

Honestly, I'm not trying to offend you But I do know that people are offended by order So I understand that just a simple order that god hasn't placed for men and woman could offend some people I should probably sit my tea was left of it Perfect timing All right now. Let's go back people my good people Um and let's see what did Eve where was Eve out of pocket, right? This this is gonna be quick This is not even that bad now Eve first things first um When you when a serpent is talking to you, right in reality You probably like this the first man in the first one of y'all like so they was new that was brand new out the box I get it But you at least could have consulted with him to say like what do you think right like you could Maybe empowered him right a little bit like hey, what you think about this? Because my man is saying something different than what God told us because it wasn't like Eve didn't know what God said Because the first thing she said was what God said, right?

Like that's the thing like of course we may eat from the fruit of the trees in the garden It's only the fruit from the tree in the middle of the garden, right? So that was the order that was part of the order of this situation is like yo We could eat the fruit freely just don't touch that one Y'all know how life is it's the one that we're not supposed to touch that the light is shining about you just looking like that fruit looks so good Like that fruit it's like you got 50 trees over here But but that fruit right there that I'm not supposed to touch that's the one that look good I get it. I understand but Eve maybe you could have empowered him. Maybe you could have consulted him, right?

But she was convinced and I do think sometimes man just thinking about modern women Oh, once you convince and you feel something emotionally, it's like let's put all logic aside Let's not even think about what God said. I don't care what about hey I want some fruit today. This is what I feel like eating. I'm about to eat this fruit And um and look see she saw that the tree was beautiful and it looked delicious and look come on with it I know how y'all are like that's when them emotions and them feelings come in like yo It's beautiful.

It looked delicious. It seemed good to me And she wanted the wisdom it would give her right and that's where Eve to me was coveting Remember I said earlier. It's like we can find ourselves and we can go from admiration to idolizing and then you covet you want that Right. She wanted that wisdom in that tree that's simple.

You want something that God told you to stay away from All right And then so she took it and ate it then she gave it to her husband I I think he wrong for receiving it, but I think she just is wrong for like Yo, I not only am I about to eat this fruit that look delicious and beautiful and sometimes Are seeing is guided by what we want to the point that we would just open others up to it Because misery loves company. Maybe or maybe just the foolishness of like well I'm convinced everybody has some and that's the power of influence and I think sometimes even women even in marriage don't realize How much influence they can have over their husband even though a husband is a leader He's influenced by his wife. He loves his wife, right? And so there are sometimes where he's like you can have a man doing some junk He never thought he would ever want to do like why am I skydiving right now?

Because your wife is fine and she said if you skydive you good with her, okay, cool So now we skydiving right so women I think it's important for you to understand the influence that you can have over your man Um in the road that you play and sometimes when you start indulging in the wrong thing You might be bringing your whole family with you. You might be opening doors for other people To be introduced to sin without even knowing it because you're that influential right cool What I will say um about Eve that I did like better than Adam was at least she said the serpent deceived me So she's acknowledging that she was deceived and that's why I ate it. I do appreciate that Eve did not Um just uh rat Adam out and blame him the way he did her. Let's see what Drey said I believe Adam already told her what God said because she quotes a little bit more to where but got someone okay I'm not mad at that either right those are those perspectives where um, you know Like I'm not gonna act like just my opinion or my thought about it is the truth right because there's some possibilities because it's not actually mentioned There's I think that's a cool perspective, but ultimately I think the point of what I'm trying to say is like There's order in the roles that God called us to play as men and women Um as husband and wives and all of us at some point can be deceived and not play our roles properly But I think it's important to get in your proper role in the way that God defined them because when you get out of order You open up this this deception and you can start being deceived by things and one of the craziest things about deception is that There's a period of time where you believe it.

That's why you were deceived Like you actually believed and were convinced of the wrong thing And so I think it's important for us to try to hold each other up as husbands and wives and we all make mistakes and fall short I get it, but hey, it's nothing wrong with like taking a step back and saying where can I improve as a husband? What kind of atom am I how can I get better and not be offended by the fact that God caught me to a particular role Like there's no reason like there's so many times like people are offended I want to where's uh, let me go to proverb 31 because it's like bro like I think it's twisted in a way. We live in the world today. Like people act like being a woman is is like A negative thing or something like being a godly woman the way that God The road that God caught a woman to play is the amazing role like bro.

There's a lot of honor in this So all right, let's see a wife of noble character. All right, so who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies virtuous and capable I love the word capable in this sense because when we think of capabilities today It's always in the context that a woman could do anything that a man could do It's like okay. No, like I don't know I don't like that terminology because I get it sometimes in certain contexts But to me, it's like hey A good wife is capable like like you have your own capabilities like you don't even have to be again It's not man versus woman when when god created Adam and he brought Eve he didn't say hey I think you need someone to compete with he said no, I think you need some help That means she has some capabilities that did not originally exist in Adam God saw Adam and said I think we need something else So god had a formula he had a purpose for both of these roles But what we were doing kind of today that's kind of weird is like one of the roles of saying well I could do everything you could do well if you're doing everything I'm doing and I'm doing everything I'm doing who doing what god created you to do and then that's where the offense come in in modern day society I get it understand Her husband can trust her and she will greatly enrich his life.

Oh, this look she will greatly enrich his life This goes right back to a couple things this goes back to Genesis when Adam created Eve and as this helped to enrich There was a need um, I think about um he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains the favor of the Lord So like yeah, like a woman a good wife enriches the life of her husband. That's nothing like That's a good road that like this ain't a bad role I think we have to get out of this mindset of offense to think that a woman in a way that God created her is somehow a negative like It ain't nothing negative about that, right? She brings some good not harm all the days of her life. She finds wool and flax and busily spends it She's like a ship's merchant a merchant ship bringing her food from afar She gets up before dawn to prepare a breakfast for her household.

My mom used to do that all the time Thank you my and plan the days work for her servant girls She goes to inspect a field and buys it with her earnings. She plants a vineyard. She's a business woman She inspected a field. She bought it like yeah, she doing business.

She's energetic. She's strong She's a hard worker. She makes sure her dealings are profitable. Her lamp burns late into the night Her hands are busy.

Listen. She extends the hand to the poor open arms to the needy She has no fear of winter for her household. Everyone has warm clothes She makes her own bedspread her husband is well known at the city gates where he sits with the other civic leaders She makes linens and sashes like she is clothed with strength and dignity She laughs without fear of the future when she speaks her words are wise and she gives instructions with kindness She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness her children staying and bless her Her husband praises her. There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all Listen people There's nothing to be offended about in the way that God called things to be I know that sometimes when you hear some some information or some direction and it's not what you wanted in life You could be offended by it, but the word of God only is here to offend lies Like the truth and goodness is what it's about like so.

It's like when God gives us direction It's something good. It's to produce good when God say like, yo, I put a man here for this and a woman here for this It's to produce good when the God created Adam and say like, yo, like he has a need He needs help. I'm giving you this woman. That ain't nothing to be ashamed of That's not a bad thing to be the answer to the question like imagine God created Adam Is like, um, he created me like some missing though.

Like I don't know like some missing It's like you created a CD player, right? I'm going back to the 90s you created a CD player It's a nice CD player like great. It got a plug and it plugged up and you like wait a minute But ain't nobody created outlets yet We need some electricity to help this CD player come to life And that's where's like, hey, take this plug you put it in this and it's like, whoa, we got some power And I believe that's where God the way God intended it intended for it to be But like we just we like just offended by good stuff now And I think one of the things we have to be cautious about in the world today Is we spend a lot of time being offended by the good things While we were being deceived and welcoming the evil things And there's so much evil that we're convinced of And to the point that I'm even seeing believers now arguing for evil They're believers every day arguing on behalf of evil Because they are been deceived And they don't know the difference between God's way and the in the evil way now And so now they think I'm supposed to eat the fruit that God told me not to eat But I'm here to tell you God said don't eat it Don't eat that fruit Listen, I appreciate you all watching and listening today And I hope you'll have an amazing amazing amazing day