Office Hours

A professor's (Benedict Cumberbatch) chats with a student (Pete Davidson) help him realize something about himself. https://snltranscripts.jt.org/16/office-hours.phtml Office Hours Mr. Buckley… Benedict Cumberbatch Chad… Pete Davidson Mikey Day [Starts with Mr. Buckley and Chad talking in the school office] Mr. Buckley: You know, that’s alright. Um, I do think that is what they kind of intended. For instance, people who speak exist. You and I are speaking, therefore you and I… Chad: Exist? Mr. Buckley: Congratulations. You just used your first Cartesian Logic. Chad: Okay. Mr. Buckley: You know, I do hope you continue to drop by, Chad. I really quite enjoy our visits. Chad: Okay. [Mr. Buckley and Chad shake their hands.] [Mr. Buckley leans forward to kiss Chad] Chad: No thanks. Mr. Buckley: Oh, I’m so sorry. Um, that was unbelievably inappropriate behavior Chad. I apologize. I just– I- I- I misread the moment. Chad: Okay. Mr. Buckley: I mistook your frequent visits here to mean something more. Chad: Oh, my bad. Mr. Buckley: No, it’s not your fault at all. Truth be told, I’m not being myself up late. [Stands and walks looking away] And this weekend, I’m getting married to a beautiful young lady. Chad: Oh, congrats. Mr. Buckley: Yet, I feel nothing, Chad. Nothing! Chad: Okay. Mr. Buckley: Oh, but that doesn’t matter because it’s all part of daddy’s master plan. You know, marry the rich girl from new port, become a professor and achieve 10 year by 40. God forbid! The great Lenard Buckley’s son should feel the love of another man! [Mr. Buckley throws a globe away] Chad: Another globe. Mr. Buckley: I was drawn to you Chad because truth be told, I envy you. You’re a man who lives his life free from doubt and worry. I wanna be you Chad. Chad: Okay. Mr. Buckley: Oh, my word. This is so pathetic. Look at me. I’m a 28 year old professor’s assistant pouring my heart out to a sophomore student. Am I boring you? Chad: Kind of. Mr. Buckley: [looking at the ceiling] Argh! You can of course leave at any time you wish and spare yourself my ramblings. Though, I have to admit having an ear to bend makes a welcome–[door closing sound] [Mr. Buckley looks around. Chad isn’t there.] Chad? [Mr. Buckley runs out of his office] Chad? Chad? [Chad is skating away. He turns around.] Chad: Wad up? Mr. Buckley: Would you mind just getting back here for a moment? There’s something else I wanted to say to you. Chad: Oh, okay. [Chad skates towards Mr. Buckley’s office but he passes the door] Mr. Buckley: Chad, you passed it. Chad: Oh, my bad. [Cut to Mr. Buckley and Chad getting in Mr. Buckley’s office] Mr. Buckley: Chad, I hopefully can forget about my brief lack of self control today. Chad: Okay. Mr. Buckley: I truly hope that my actions haven’t tainted our friendship. Chad: Ha-ha. Taint. ...