Official Transcript of Absolute Nonsense

This week’s hearing includes evidence involving Dolly Days, emotional manipulation via random “I love you” texts, and the ongoing criminal investigation into why Klaus physically cannot get out of bed like a functioning member of society. We also discuss the $7 shoehorn that somehow outranked a ring and a car in relationship value, the traumatic re-homing of guinea pigs, and why paying bills feels like financial manslaughter.Additional testimony includes searching “kid” in the camera roll to locate baby photos, threatening Gene with affection before work, and a legally questionable insult involving boogers and a phone call.The court would also like to note that despite having enough organizational skills to categorize an entire email account, the defendant still refuses to empty the recently deleted folder. Case ongoing.