Olivia Munn

Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armshare Expert. I'm Dax Shepard. I'm joined by Monica Lilly Padman. Hi.

Hi. Welcome. Someone on an arms turn on us recently said MVP. I was struck by the big mistake my parents made by not giving my middle name.

For Monica. Yeah, or Victoria. Yeah, or Vince. Yeah, I would take it.

Perfecter. To have MVP. Monica Victor Padman. Who I like that.

That's strong. Victor. Perfecter. Today's guest is strong.

Yes. That's an elegant segment. Yeah, nice. Olivia Munn is here today.

She is an actor and an activist. She was on newsroom before one of my favorite shows of all time. Rachel. Magic Mike, the predator, X-Men apocalypse.

The Daily Show and she is currently on the hit show on Apple TV plus. I love this show. I got so sucked in. Your friends and neighbors.

So check out your friends and neighbors. It's out now on Apple TV plus. Please enjoy Olivia Munn. He's an object.

He's an object. Save it for the podcast. I want to let you see. Yeah.

I don't know that I've heard anyone say I have. You know someone who does Kristen. Oh, no, no. I know people.

I just have never heard anyone. I don't think I've ever heard someone say that at the beginning, which I love. Auditory and in life. So these are sensory issues, right?

That's what we call them broadly. Yeah. And so tell me right. Lights.

Bright lights for sure. I'm just kidding. Yeah. It's no, it's specific things.

Like if I go into a room and it's really bright, John does a great impersonation. I mean that when he did it, I was like, oh, yeah, that does sound like me. He opens the door and walks and goes, oh my God, he's like, what's going on? You're so crazy.

That's my reaction. And you make a character assessment at the end of it. I'm not with you. You would have to be playing it.

Like, you know, he's like, it's literally just the overhead. But auditory sensitivity is certain sounds and it's always been like that since I was really little. A doctor said that to my mom took me to like a psychiatrist because I just would really have a hard time with it. Especially in schools where they're all fluorescent lights.

Uniquely harsh, the elementary school. Like, oh my gosh, malls. I never understand mall lighting is so bad and it's very fluorescent. And when you're trying on stuff, the lighting so bad, I've never understood that.

You purchase clothes. If you guys want me to purchase your clothes, give us some soft lighting. Yeah. Yeah.

It's how I look. It's a big flaw in the system. So Kristen has many of these. The biggest offender is should there be two different songs playing with an earshot of each other?

Still short circuit. It's interesting. When you have a partner, I think you're knee jerk because we love our partners, but we're also stuck with our partners. We're going to travel hip to hip with them throughout our whole life.

So if they're constantly agitated by something, you immediately forecast the rest of your life. Well, that's going to happen a lot. Can't you kind of? Hey, well, we're coming this knowing John.

He likes helping me. He likes it. I have a weird thing. He makes it very funny.

And daring. Maybe endearing. Like he's going to protect you from it. His male protectiveness comes out.

Yeah. He likes to be protective and of value when it comes to certain things like making me comfortable or happy, but also just his personality finds it very funny. It's just something for him to work with. Yes.

It's fodder for some thoughts. We went on a drive from New York to Montreal once. And he wanted to put on music. I was like, no, because I often can sit in silence for hours in a drive.

I started listening to podcasts. Your guys was the one that got me into listening to podcasts truly. That makes me very happy. I love how you know so much.

And so it's not just a question answer question. It's like listening in on somebody's conversation. So I could do that for a very long time. And I could not listen to other people's podcast only sometimes.

Sometimes what I told you before there may be a person on whose voice is hard for me. Yes. And I was yep, that episode or not listen to you guys for a minute. I was like, OK, kind of got out of the middle.

Another inviting me is kind of voice. Wait, can we pinpoint what it is about their voices? Is it mine? No, I love your voice.

No, no, no. It's the dynamic between the two of you. You're not like your voice. And you're more than three.

You come in very like, hey, so I'm just going to point this thing out. So you're driving me again. Yes. For some reason, I can listen to the same song.

One time I did that drive to Montreal. I have really close friends there. It's like a four or five hour drive, but I listen to the same song over and over and over again. I like to do that because it feels comfortable.

I know it is. Do you want to move these over and over again? Yes. Yes.

So this is a big anxiety thing. This is Monica's favorite thing is to watch the same film 13 14 times in like a quarter. Yeah. And then we keep seeing all these Instagram psychology tips.

And one of them is that's super common for people. Well, I have a lot of anxiety. Yeah. Well, this is what I want to get to.

So you wouldn't remember the first time we met, but I do, which was at I think the so how set like a CA type party. It was like an agency party and I had it met you and you and I kind of bumped into each other at the bar and by my recollection had an explosive exchange of ideas. And I've referenced you many times on here in that conversation. You were telling me that you had this something trickamemia, whatever it is trickettillomania where you pull your eyebrows eyelashes, but it's trickettillomania specifically people pulling hair.

So it could be here at the top of your head because there's a sensation. It's probably not even real. But I'll feel like, oh, this eyelash feels like it's going to come out, even though it's not. And then when you pull it, there was a quick second of pain.

Yeah. And then there's a satisfaction and an immediate regret. What a short lived high. It is.

But we have a lot of hair, you know, but then I was dating Chris Pine at the time. We've come to love. He is amazing. We were recently at the SNL 50 and we're in the airport lounge together and it was so great to catch up.

He's just the best. So there was a paparazzi shot of, you know, I, and it was the first time I was in the tabloids. I was on G4 and I was going to some very small event. It was like for weed.

I think when it was just trying to be legalized. To promote it or to stop it. It's used. Promote it.

What side of the eye are you on? Oh, I'd asked the costume on this daily show. I hosted what is the ugliest dress you have and they found this blue old prom dress with big pom poms on the side. And I was like, oh, I wonder if I can make it into the worst best dress list.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I did. And I couldn't even work the fact that I was like, they know who I am to even put me on this. Right.

It was very exciting. Talk about silver one. You get a worse dress than me. Like, yeah, I'm worthy.

I like it. So I left Chris's apartment. Hopefully, I don't think he'd mind me telling any of the story, but I'd left Chris's apartment and there were pop rocks outside his house because he had been in Star Trek and all this and I didn't recognize it. My wallet was a little bit bigger.

It's like a little kind of wallet clutch and they caught photos of me. I was like, oh my God, I'm going to go out on one of my friends. It's like, hey, you're dating Chris Mine. And then I did the horrible thing, which was to read the comments and this is back in the day.

At the time, you don't know that it's bad. Yeah. And they were like, I think she set this up. Who's carrying a clutch during the day?

Yeah. And I was like, that began my trick atillomanium. That was the beginning. That was the very beginning.

I don't know why when we were chatting back at that party that I thought this was maybe a childhood thing because I'm certainly telling you about my tics. I would imagine. Yeah, we did talk about that. Yeah.

I know CD you were the one who and I credit you for this all the time. You go, you know what OCD is all about control. Yeah. But I didn't I just knew the term OCD because you know, other other people like to be like, I'm OCD and they say that in a way of like bragging about how organizing.

Yes. That's OCD peak because we have an expert on a team. I'm really told that's not a big trouble. I'm here.

OCD, OCD, ego, tistic. Oh, it was a CDP. Yeah. The distinction, which is quite interesting is if your actions are in alignment with your overall morals, that's not OCD.

So like I'm a neat freak. You think being me is the correct way to do it. You think being clean is godly. So that's not OCD is like you have a compulsion to do things that are not in alignment with who you are procrastination is really connected to OCD and OCD has a lot of connections to orders.

So when you ever watch that show orders, there will be one cabinet or one area that still looks really perfect because that's who I really am. That's what I'm heading towards. It's saying to yourself and saying others. No, no, no, I'm really organized here.

Realizing that connection made me stop myself from living like that. And so I would work really hard to clean it up now, having children. It's impossible. The other day I cleaned up everything while John is out with Malcolm and I'm not exaggerating within 10 minutes.

It was a mess again. That was hard for me at first because I felt like a failure as a mother and as someone who's supposed to take care of their home, then I just was like, this just means a life well lived. They're here to teach you these last lessons that were impossible. So my big thing is maintenance.

You should be a good steward of the things you have. If you're lucky enough to have them, they should be in good condition. And just within two years, every single thing in the house is destroyed. And then you have to go, that doesn't matter at all.

What matters if these kids had a blast growing up in this house and if I kept it perfect and nothing was damaged, that would just be a different kind of childhood. That trade off is not worth it. The thing that I focus on is I want him to take physical risks and be brave. And I know you know that because your daughters were on motorcycles so young and it was hard at first to convince John because John's family, they just didn't.

You know that the really low beams at the park that's literally six inches off the ground. You're like, Malcolm, let's get off of that. I'm like, what? One time Malcolm walked up the slide, like the bottom to the top.

The correct way if you're a dirty woman. All of done. He goes, hey, Malcolm, we don't go up the slide like that. But is that about rules?

That almost sounds more about rules than about I think it's for safety. Really? Like John, it was really big on safety. It's complimentary.

Like one is for decorum but decorum is generally safer. So we both grew up with a lot of rules. My mom was a very strict tiger mom. My stepfather was in the military.

John's parents are baby boomers, generation. And they kept their home really organized, I think emotionally and with a schedule and John says that his friends would always kind of feel safe there because there was the structure. Even though he had another friend who he would go to their apartment and just do the craziest shit. So he felt a lot of safety in that.

So I think that he also likes doing that. I've had to talk to him about that. And I had heard something and when I say I've heard something, it means something came up on my Instagram. I'm like, so I heard this psychiatrist.

The psychiatrist told me. He's like, where did you hear it? It was yes, I.D. but it said something like it was important for fathers to show physical risks and physical capabilities.

Our job is polite. Yes. Because it makes them feel more brave and confident in their own skills. But I grew up doing martial arts.

Tag window and cheerleading. I love it. I know when I heard you were cheerleader early on, I was like, I know a little bit about how you grew up. It's a common language.

I think you can say that anyone that was a ballerina. Like you know that life. That's a certain kind of life. Right.

But I think people on the outside of cheerleading don't under. Like we do all know about ballerinas but not everyone knows about cheerleaders. They should watch cheer. Great show.

Were you competition cheerleader? In high school, cheerleading, but in Japan we competed in all of Far East Asia. Wow. So there's big competitions and I tried out my ninth grade year and usually ninth graders almost always make JB.

But I'd be bar C that year. Nice. I had moved to this new school in Japan a few years before. I had a really hard time assimilating.

Was it an expat school or was it all Japanese kids? It's a military school. But we compete with all the Japanese schools too. Can we beat them at anything?

Well, we beat them eventually. Oh, wow. So I had no friends and it was really hard. It was like eighth grade and I would look at people who had a lot of friends and cheerleaders did.

So I went to the library. I got a book on cheerleading and how to cheerleading it taught you how to do like a herky. There's a book on it. Yeah.

I was wondering if you didn't do that. That sounds very you. It does sound like me reading your garage. I would feel like I should write one.

You should. So then I tried out and I made varsity. Varsity goes and competes. And our first year we got third place.

Okay. In the second year we got first place. And it was a big upset. We were toe to toe with this other school that we had already heard was like the tough school.

They were another military school. They weren't one of the Japanese or Guam schools. I don't know if this is racist one. I think Japanese.

I think synchronization. In work ethic. Yes. Yes.

I think they're throwing them into the air. Sure. But one of the girls came from America that same year and she had been a cheerleader there and they were incorporating like dance. Yeah.

Yeah. Poppy. Yeah. So she brought the music and everybody else had the regular cheers.

And so we had this element. But this cheer team we'd already heard was tough in a way like a little bit more street. And so they didn't mind fighting. Oh wow.

Yeah. Our cheerleading coach after we won we're so excited she goes we're ordering pizza and staying inside because we've already gotten where that they're on the streets looking for you. Oh wow. This is like a football team.

Yeah. Yeah. They were looking for us. So we stayed inside and celebrate it.

But yeah, it was a big deal. And so we had a lot of people who were in Japan, but let's start in Oklahoma. Your mother comes to Oklahoma in 1975. This is the 50th anniversary of her fleeing Saigon this year.

Her own story is quite interesting, right? And that she is Chinese ethnically but lived in Vietnam. Yeah. We're Chinese.

We have a little bit of Vietnamese in our bloodline. But yeah, there was a big Chinatown in Saigon and like what happens in most war-torn countries, missionaries come and spread the word of God. And so then they had met the head of a Christian university and they had sponsored them to come to America and it was my grandmother and her nine children. Was she the first to be Christian and her family?

So none of them were Christian. They just played the game. I get to go to see her point. Yeah.

I went to a couple of youth meetings just to go on the Cedar Point trip. I have twin uncles and they loved David Hasselhoff. They saved enough money and they snuck money in from Vietnam and they were able to buy like a Trans Am and a Corvette. Did they come to Oklahoma?

They all came to Oklahoma. They loved growing their hair out long. I love these guys. Fucking vets and Trans Am so long hair.

They smoked cigarettes? No. But they did bodybuilding competition. Oh my God, I love them.

What are their names? Uncle Watan, what? Thai and Fu. My bros Thai and Fu are coming over going to go back somewhere.

I know. They were like the sepia colored photos of them oiled up and just jacked. Semi does. It's not because that was what America was to them.

What it represented. That's why I like it so much. I love the fantasy of being somewhere else. And you look at this other place that was on TV.

It's a fake version of the place, but you actually come in and act the fake version. It's great. It's like talk about creating your own reality. I love it.

So then they start going to church because that's where they ask. Well, the Christian university too. Yeah. Oh, Jesus.

Yeah. And so now they're at the Christian university and they got to go to church all the time. And then the president of the Christian university said, hey, you need to be more clean cut. You need to cut your hair.

And that was a big no-no for them. They're just so smart and clever. And they went and they found a picture of Jesus Christ with his long ass hair. Yeah.

And they showed it to her and they said, well, and then she let them keep. Oh, yeah. That's a good counter. You can bring in the top dog.

Yeah. They're not. Yeah. Awfully hypocritical to say cut your hair.

He created us in his image. Isn't that the premise of this whole thing? Exactly. How does your mom meet your dad, Winston?

She was introduced to him through a mutual friend. Did you want to speak English? Yeah, they had been learning English. So Saigon was a very wealthy city.

That's why you'll meet a lot of Vietnamese people who are here. They'll tell you stories about how their family was so wealthy, which is I think while there was an invasion. And so wealthy schools would teach English and Vietnamese and Chinese and French. My uncle's a French.

How old was your mom when she came here? Twenty. There's a healthy on moment in Saigon where it's like a very sexy, cool, thriving city. That's very French.

Of course. In the early 70s. Like a Montreal of a. Yeah, the Montreal of Asia.

I mean, they loved it there. What's so incredible about my family and my mother is that on that day, 50 years ago, they got onto a ship and left the only country and home they ever knew and they were never going to come back. My grandfather stayed back because he was going to dig up his gold. So back then they would bury all their stuff and sometimes they'd bury them with people who passed away and are buried into their caskets.

Oh, he's saying I do a little grave rock. Yeah. So he was like, I got to go get my gold. I'll see you there.

And then they got a letter however much time later that he had passed. Yeah. So he never got to come over. There's a fable in there sticking around for gold and missing your family trading your family.

That is better. That was a wise. Yeah. Well, why they leave because Saigon was invaded.

There was this great document called like the last days of Saigon or Spinal Days of Saigon. The agrarian revolution was certainly going to take out all the people that were landowners that were wealthy. They were enemy number one. They were not safe of Ho Chi Minh.

Yeah. And there's five of you. So my mom married my husband. Sorry.

No, hold on right now. I tell you because that's really everything. That was so Freudian. Well, because you're referring to the second husband, right?

In that moment. No, I will not refer to any of that. My mom is so close with John. It's his best friend.

When I went through all the surgeries for breast cancer, my mom is like, I'm going to come and help you, but my mom drives me crazy. Yes. She is always on YouTube on her phone listening on full volume, which I can tell you is so hard for me. And so he's like, Mom, you just turn it down.

Like really, really difficult. So she shuffles away to her bedroom. And she was really young, brand new in the world. She'd be holding her while she's asleep.

And she has on her leg full volume, YouTube, Vietnamese news. When I say news, I mean, it's just a guy talking about what he's read. What he's on Instagram that day. I interviewed a doctor today.

I just thought it might be like, yeah, he was like, you can't really throw a stone. So it's all you didn't say I didn't believe him. So then my mom's wanting to come and I said, I don't need her to come. Do you want her?

And John said, yes. Yeah. And they hang out, John makes an actual paper to pen list of all the movies he wants to watch with my mom. They watch everything.

He loves her. They hang out. They're cackling. No, but they're often on the couch watching a Korean movie sharing the same blanket.

Wonderful. And they probably like to commiserate about you too, because I like to do this with Kristen's dad. And it's going to be positive. There's a fun dynamic with you made this girl.

I'm now with her forever. There's a lot of fertile ground for us. So one, when I had Malcolm, I couldn't produce breast milk. I could do like a bottle a day, not even.

So I spent all this time pumping and I put it on the counter because you're supposed to keep it room temperature because you can use it within a certain amount of time. So I come over and I look and I'm like, Mom, where's my breast milk? And she has that look on her face like, what? What did you do?

And she goes, I thought it was to be thrown away. So I threw it away. And I was like, Mom, you know, I did that thing that you talked to your mom. I'm like, Mom, I told you, you did that.

I'm so angry. You have no idea. Start crying. And I'm like, this is everything.

And I took me all day long. And this is the only way I bond with Malcolm. And then she looks and goes, John threw away the dog food. I was like, what?

And I got like, you know, just food for dogs or this gourmet dog food. I was like, I know all about it. And she just threw him under the bus. And then another time she disappointed me and made me mad about something.

And then she went to John and said, Hey, Olivia's mad at me. She told you to put on the humidifier. I noticed you didn't put on humidifier. So when I pointed out to Olivia, just know you are in trouble.

She's like being out forthcoming. And then I'm going to tell on you. And then John came up to me and said, Hey, your mom said this. So I need you to really act like you're so mad.

So that she ends up feeling bad. So then John does. I'm like, I cannot believe there's only a few things I asked you. And I just reamed into him.

We look over my mom and she's like this. Because he loved it. He's smiling. Do not use her.

Exactly the way she wanted it. So John loves it again. He likes the weird things. I appreciate that about it.

We're so similar. I talked to my mom like that. I mean, I've always thought that you and I be very good friends. It's a lot very.

I always wanted us to run into each other, but has not been monWow. Scream from her, better. Not currently. Not currently.

I did use to do that. And then now it's seeped into her. It's like Stockholm syndrome when I arrived. She's like, here's your sandwich.

I can try to be ahead of the pain. Yeah. My mom cooks a lot. She cooks for John all the time.

She'll tell you what you want for dinner. It's like our language. I could see being really charmed by her mother in law like you're offering. I think that would be fun.

But so mom and dad met. And then are you the only child out of that union? First my sister. How much older?

jacket to the dry cleaners and was emptying the pockets and found two movie ticket stops. Oh, this is very movie. Yeah. It's also very 80s.

It is a movie ticket stubs. She found a receipt for a taxi cab. He never drove in a day. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

To his credit, he admitted it. And then she kicked him out. And it was with a woman he played bridge with. Very sexy.

Yeah. Very sexy. Yeah. Very.

A year and a half later, she married the next guy. Oh, so they were done for her. There's a no second chance that's it. Hardline in the sand.

Maybe more going on. He called her and begged her to come back. And she did. And then as she tells me, there was one night where she can hear him crying in bed.

And she's like, what are you crying about? And he's like, I just miss her. And he was like, I'm confused. And I don't know what to do.

And she was like, no, that's done this. I mean, I hate that this is my takeaway. But part of me is like, why didn't he just lie? Not about the first one, but about the crying.

You could be crying about anything. There's a point you want to be caught. Maybe he was evaluating whether he wanted to be with a bridge lady or your mum. A bridge lady.

Bridge babe. I think there are quite a few people. And I think it's predominantly men that I've experienced and seen in my life. I'm not, can't deal with a guilt of ending, the relationship.

Stonewall, Holt at the woman finally goes. This is not fulfilling. Yeah. Okay.

Now here's another bonding moment for us. So yeah, my first stepdad showed up around four. Or maybe they start dating when I was four and they were married at five or something. I'm not a fan of the first.

Same. Yeah. Tell me about this dude. That's a bad guy.

He was Air Force and really abusive and lived with a lot of fear. I realized later in life that I was creating a lot of issues in relationships and I would be quick to fight because my equilibrium was very off. Everyone has anxiety on a level one to 10. One being, I'm gonna be late for work, where are my keys, and ten being my entire family is burning a live in a house, and I can't get them out.

Mine was a consistent nine. And so, as I go into life, something that could bother me as a one or two is super high up on that anxiety list, and I would just create these fights because it felt normal. And it was a really bad time in my life. There was this one time where I had decided that I'm not going to talk to him anymore.

What age do you think this was? This was at 15. I also had to call him Dad early. It was one of his things.

It is one of those things. You get it. That's a control. Titles are really hard.

I'm very dangerous, but I'm gonna just be dead honest. I can imagine, especially in the 70s and 80s, white dudes having an idea of what an Asian immigrant woman's gonna be, which is gonna be very subservient, and I'm gonna be the boss and getting into the relationship. And no relationships ultimately like that, even if on the outside appearance it has that flavor. Do you think they've already did that?

Well, his first wife was Chinese. They had two children together, who just happened to be the same age as my sister and I, very Brady bunches, and my mom and his first wife definitely fell into the stereotype of... Subservient. Yeah, by the way, what a fucking gross thing to desire.

I know. To have somebody just wait on you. Yeah, I want someone to be subservient. And you know, it's not my mom, her second husband, my current step-other, is amazing.

When I was 16, it's the first time I got to see my mother in control. But yeah, I had to call him Dad and I hated that. It's a small thing, but you know when you have friends and you have kids and when you're close to them, you're like, hey, it's your Uncle Dax. It's just your friend.

I do not like when you call somebody an aunt or uncle who is not blood. Oh, okay. Or they have Godparents. We call them Uncle Kevin and Auntie Stevie, and that's it.

That's where it ends. Yes, and I had friends be like, I'm your auntie, whatever, or John will introduce one of his friends and be like, this is your uncle. I don't say it, but I don't like it. Now, the idea about this is the dynamic that's happening at my house, which is my best friend, Aaron Weekly, who's here, is my son.

He's called me Dad since we were 12. And so he's my daughter's brother. And they call him their brother Aaron. Like emotionally.

Not actually. Yes. Well, yeah, physiologically, you can't be my child because I'm only 6 months older. That doesn't bother me.

Okay, good. So their brother is 49. Right, right. But I agree with that.

I also feel on the opposite end as someone who is like an aunt to like figure in many kids' lives. I don't like being referred to as an aunt when I'm not their actual aunt. Oh, interesting. Yeah, like that's not the right word.

His kid, the Delta and... Well, we have other words. Like I'm her soulmate. Well, that is extreme, by the way.

And we are. Wait, Kristen's soulmate or the children's Delta's my soulmate? Well, Delta is very... Soulmate.

Yes, because I started working with them when Delta was three months old and I was taking care of her. And she is my soulmate. Well, I'm happy that you found your soulmate. I know.

But yeah, Aunt, it's not the right word, but I don't really know what the right word is. I dated somebody who was Filipino. In Filipino culture, there was always Auntie and uncle. Say with Indians.

Yeah. And I'd be like, is it really? I'd be like, no, no. Okay.

Yeah. Yeah. I want to know. You were trying to figure out what is the reality I'm living in?

Is that a blood relative? Yeah, it makes a difference. Okay. So this dude though, he first took you guys to Utah.

And you were in Utah for maybe three or four years? Three years at Hill Air Force Base in Utah. But were you sad to leave Oklahoma? Did you pine for it?

Yeah. So my grandmother and grandfather, my dad's parents, my grandmother is the kindest person you'd ever meet. And they were with us all the time. My mom loved them.

They loved my mom and they took care of us a lot. So leaving that was really scary and made me sad. And the first time we were there was in kindergarten. So we went really young.

The abuse had started and I was already really fearful. So being there away from my grandparents, the people who kept me safe. And I noticed that my mother, you know, feel like she had the power to do anything. My mother, when I asked her how she could have been with that dude, she was driven almost solely by the shame of, there's no way I can fail at this a second time.

That was such a powerful force. I think that when she had two children, there was this feeling of how do I support them? Being married to someone that has a steady income was important. It was so far back.

But I remember it clear as day. There's just one time all the kids got a sled for Christmas. We were in Utah where it's a lot. And my older brother, Jimmy, who was just one of those kids that parents probably got annoyed with.

My stepdad was like, I made this for you guys. I took me all this time to make it. And Jimmy was like, and he goes, you didn't make this. Yes, I did.

And he looks again, he's looking around and goes, you didn't make this. And then he beat the shit out of him on Christmas day. He didn't make it to the. No, he couldn't have done that.

Jimmy knew him enough. There was no shed for him. You know, there was no area that he made this at. I felt powerless.

That became the point in my life where I became such a fighter. Going back to the story of when I decided to stop calling him, dad, or talking to him at all when I was 15, I'd done it for a while. And then finally I was walking up the stairs and he was walking down the stairs. And I just kept looking down at the stairs and he stops me.

He says, I'm sick and tired of you not talking to me. And then I looked at him. I rolled my eyes and kept walking. And he grabbed me and he turns me around.

And he slaps me so hard that my head hit one of the framed family photos. I went up along the staircase and like cut my eye. I remember looking at him with tears coming down, but not sad tears, but pain tears. And then just rolled my eyes again.

Oh, he had this look of like, what the fuck? Well, I know what the look is. Oh, I'm going to have to kill her to dominate her. Uh huh.

And it was so piercing, but mine was piercing back to him. That solidified for me that there's a lot of power in fighting back. And so in my life, I would fight back a lot sometimes to my own detriment. Same, same, same.

Right. Well, it's hard to remember you're not a kid. You'll be an adult and you realize, oh, I'm behaving as if I'm 15. I have no choice over my surrounding and who I'm around.

Well, because memories don't know time. When something happens to you, you go right back to being eight years old. You go right back to being 15. And the reactions that you had then feel applicable to what you're going through in that moment.

Well, and they were required and saved you and needed. And then, yeah, at some point, they're probably not needed. But yeah, if you have been afraid of someone, there's nothing quite as satisfying as having been afraid of somebody for a very long time. And then getting to the point where you declare you're no longer afraid of them.

Or even I don't mind what the outcome of this is. I think I'm just born like this. I just always want to fight back. Stay tuned for more armchair expert.

If you dare. Do you have an obsession with justice? Obsessed with justice. What's right is right.

What's wrong is wrong. And when people get it wrong, it's so difficult for me, especially when it happens personally. I remember working on a show and one of the other actors was telling me something that they thought was really unfair. And I would go and speak to the top guy and I'd be like, Hey, this is happening and it wasn't even my fight.

Right. And then I would kind of get chastised for it. And then he would do it again by the third time or so. I thought, Oh, he's abusing this.

He knows that I will get it done, but he doesn't have to take the fall or any of it. Yes. And so that's where the justice thing has also been. Yeah, me too.

Big 10 sheriffs all over the place here. Additionally, we're wrong a lot or it's 60% on Justin. It's 40% Justin. If I try on their glasses, I go, I see why they act like this.

Because I think within the sense of justice, you have to also be doing a lot of character assessment. And you do a lot of contribution error center. Like you make some kind of decisions about who they are, which explains this injustice. And then now we're like in judgment and all these other things.

Whenever a friend asked me for advice, the first thing I ask is, what is it you want? Let's just get to that part. And then we can like backtrack from there. But what is it you want?

And it always begins with understanding and sensitivity to the other person. Yeah. Yeah. Given that was the environment you were living in, what kind of kid were you on all the runs?

And then we ultimately we moved back to Oklahoma for junior and senior year, which sounds like quite an endeavor if you've been in Japan for a little as 10 years or seven years. Yeah, it was hard. Yeah. So where were you at in the social hierarchy?

What was your position? Because I'm going to say a lot of super gorgeous people will say they were wallflowers in high school. It's very hard to believe for most people. I was not a wallflower and I was never an ugly duckling when I got to school.