So in the last episode I talked about ego and I'm going to add something really quickly that I forgot to talk about in a close relationships, at least in Western civilization or whatever, you're kind of expected to get jealous in certain situations or you're expected to get mad in certain situations and I feel like a lot of it is driven by ego and it'd be strange to, that's why I don't think getting rid of ego is a silly good thing for me right now because I would distance myself from a lot of things that kind of are necessary for me to live through where and how I live right now. But anyways, anger, that's one of the aspects of ego that I don't think are necessarily good most of the time in any way. When I say anger, I mean frustration getting pissed off, just all of that and one way I've found that I've been able to regulate my anger is to just let it go when it happens and observe. So what I do is I just let myself either explode if I'm talking to someone, especially face-to-face, let myself explode and sit back and just observe what I'm doing or I try to go running or things like this to kind of see how much of it is clutter and how much of it is really deeply rooted.
And actually when I found actualized that work, it's a YouTube channel that talks about makes like hour and a half videos on topics sometimes without making any cuts. I love the guy, he's insane, he does, in my opinion. He talked about anger and he described it, it was like four years ago but I remember, I remember because it resonated with me, is anger is linked with an expectation of how the world should be that is broken. So it's when you expect something to happen and you maybe expect too much and that expectation is broken and you're left with anger.
So for example, if someone cuts you off and while you're driving, your expectation was that no one was going to do that and if someone drops and breaks a glass in the house and you get mad, it's that that's not how it should be. Why can't people do things like they should do it if like your wife buys the wrong fucking card of milk? Why can't you buy the right one? Just why can't the if the why can things be how I want them to be and I can't find any good use for anger.
Now I might I'm going to leave some room for hesitation and it's seen that there might be just small a small little way little I'm going to seem that I'm going to that I am wrong in some aspects and that there's some use some useful aspects of anger both for myself and the world at the same time but hear me out. I feel that anything that could be resolved through anger could be resolved through controlled emotional response from someone who's experiencing hardship for example. I don't know if that made any sense but I'm going to I'm going to say it another way. Then your friend gets shot in both legs and they're paralyzed there in a wheelchair.
You now they're a very very close friends of yours close friend of yours. Now this is hypothetical but imagine you're you're probably going to be extremely pissed off at whoever did this to them which is normal and in a way you shouldn't but whatever you could do following that following that anger yeah following that anger could be resolved I feel through controlled emotional response instead of an uncontrolled emotional response so maybe you might go out and kill the kill the guy if to you someone getting shot into like and paralyzed for life or in a wheelchair for life if that's not enough to get to want to kill someone just imagine a worst case scenario. Bad case scenario for your friend, girlfriend, whatever you might want to kill the other person. Now if killing the other person you feel is the right thing to do then a controlled emotional response will do it.
So what I mean by that is if you feel that killing the person that did this your friend is the right thing to do morally and you do it angry then you will if you do it well having yourself more under control of that makes sense it will still yield the same outcome because you believe it's right morally. The danger with anger however is that I see it as being able to let me do things that I don't necessarily think are right like deep within me. So I don't know if that made sense but basically that's my explanation for it is that if I believe I can do something right if I believe that making me angry that me being angry will make you will make me do something and that that thing is right morally for me or it fits with my values then why not working towards reducing anger and doing it not doing it without being mad out of my mind because anger offers the possibility that I might do whatever I want to do without any control. And that it would lead to catastrophic outcomes so I'd rather strive towards always knowing what I'm doing even though it might not be true for too long but okay too long that's what this is getting.
Thank you for listening and have a great day.