On My Mind HA! 2016

artwork: HA! “Lotus Queen” oils 2013 (sold) I sit quietly, on a pad to protect my decomposing spine, buds in my ears waiting for the phone to ring , bringing money and the chance to perfume the air with yet another on-demand performance acrobatic displays, instant access wisdom it’s all… grace, while doing the downward facing dog Lavender wisdom in warrior pose. Calling for, make me feel better, and entertaining fantasy. Looking inside, this vessel, is empty… so, it seems strange when others peer within the genie is always home and…baking cookies ready to smile, please and praise this vessel, is always full to the brim overflowing transmutation pain double back flips carving into love sugar wouldn’t melt in my mouth and I know how the cow ate the cabbage. I wonder what I will be, in the decades to come while I wait to take the stage I wonder… Will I feel beautiful, thankful, happy? Will I always feel trapped in a hateful body? Will I ever see my own beauty reflected in the eyes of my lover and know that really, IS me? I wonder aloud when I’m not mindful enough to stay silent I watch the faces I talk too so when they show signs of discomfort subjects can be switched, gazes instantly altered making myself smaller to better, fit into comfort zones, not built for me. I don’t fear the dark anymore I can see everything blind ears tuned to the sound that resentments echo bones ground daily into susceptible flour for unleavened consumption I float through this existence… wondering, if this might be the last day. It never is. The phone rings, the director from off stage yells, “take your marks!” the call is answered and the performance begins, earnestly… talking to the back row proving once again, that empty vessels are mostly commonly used to move fragile delicate items, of great value, from here to… there. The stranger on the phone only knows that this well is never dry, so they return empty, hearts broken in cupped hands, drinking their fill. Tossing a coin into the well as they leave, my magic is reduced to bills being paid. I sit here on a pad to protect my delicate spine, buds in ears empty again, waiting for the phone to ring, wondering what my next line is. HA! 2016 Written and performed by: HA! 2016 www.alleyvision.com Doing our PART for the arts