One Day in December

One day in December I felt likeeven the ground beneath me couldn't hold meUntethered, unmooredNothing I did felt worthwhileOne day in DecemberI tried to find meaning in my dayI met with a friendI wrote, I got coffee, I tried to smileOne day in DecemberI reminded myself I'm a momThat my husband loves meBut nothing soothed my aching heartOne day in DecemberI sought refuge in the bottleI knew better,But I was desperate to ease the acheOne day in DecemberI felt sunken to a new lowSinking my own ship,holding my own head under waterThe ache easedReplaced with shameA day I won't soon forgetA day I hope I won't repeatThat day in DecemberI wasn't meI was the worst of meLuckily, I only hurt me.--I wrote this in December 2021 after a particularly difficult mental health day. It's a piece of writing that still makes my heart hurt because I can still feel the pain that I felt that day. My depression still flares up, but it hasn't overtaken me like it did that day in December.I think a lot about alcoholism and its hold on so many people. I don't think I'm an alcoholic, but drinking is so much a part of our cultural fabric, that it's easy to slip into its grip. It's ever-present everywhere we go, it's in the music we listen to, it's even offered at kid-friendly events (like the Glo-Wild event at the Kansas City Zoo that our family attended this holiday season). The suggestion is everywhere, the temptation very real. We can hardly blame ourselves for succumbing to the siren's song of suds when we're having a bad day.It feels risky for me to share this poem because it exposes me a bit. But what's the point of writing if you're not honest?View original poem at https://www.morganbarrett.co/post/one-day-in-december Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Get full access to Chronically Candid at morgannbarrett.substack.com/subscribeSupport my work by reading & subscribing to Chronically Candid on Substack at morgannbarrett.substack.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.